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PERRIN LOVETT

~ Deo Vindice

PERRIN LOVETT

Tag Archives: fat

Obesity in America: Startling Facts

05 Friday Aug 2016

Posted by perrinlovett in Books For Sale, News and Notes, Other Columns

≈ Comments Off on Obesity in America: Startling Facts

Tags

America, books, fat, health, The People

Yesterday I announced a new book project in a nearly backhanded way. Being big is a big problem in America. I wasn’t making fun though I would like to cash in. That’s honesty. Here’s more honesty: we have a massive epidemic on our hands (and guts, thighs, etc.). A few of the facts:

overweight-rates-in-america

dukandiet.com

35% of Americans are obese. That’s 111 million people. http://stateofobesity.org/rates/.

Almost 70% of Americans are obese or overweight. 223 million. That’s a vast majority being vast. Id.

Rates of physical inactivity range from 16% in Colorado to 31% in Mississippi. Id.

Obesity is costing around $200 Billion! per year in medical care. Virtually all of this is preventable Id.

Obesity-related illnesses kill 300,000 people each year (the number could be closer to 500,000). WV Dept. Health and Human Resources.

One in five American deaths is related to obesity. Dr. Joseph Mercola.

Sugar, tasty as it is, is poison. Id.

Being overweight can lead to: heart disease; high blood pressure; stroke, diabetes, high blood fat; failing metabolism; cancer; osteoarthritis; sleep apnea; hypertension; gallstones – among many other problems. Nat’l. Inst. of Health.

While being “overweight” could be explained by an excess of water, bone, or muscle (or by being fat), being “obese” just means being overly fat. NIH.

As the majority of Americans are now overweight, being normal is now abnormal. This isn’t good.

Americans eat 20% more than they did in 1983. publichealth.org.

Americans spend over $20 Billion a year on diet schemes – they’re not working. Id.

Obesity has doubled in the past four decades and it’s getting worse. ADA. 70% and worsening. What’s next? 90%? 99%?

In a way these facts are indicative of the prosperity of America. We produce more food than ever. Food is easier to come by than ever. Activities are less demanding than ever. Government evil and cultural idiocy aside, life is better than ever. Even our poorest people (especially the poor) are overweight these days. That’s a historical anomaly among the human population. It’s proof of too much of a good thing, maybe.

I was among the ranks of the new normal for a long time. Too long. Too many wasted years. Getting into shape and staying there isn’t easy. It isn’t difficult either. We can reverse these trends.

***

Note: It came to my attention that more unsolicited political ads are running on my posts from time to time. At some point I will be halting this altogether (WP control ain’t cheap). Until then I’ve decided to counter those ads with some ads of my own. Here’s one:

imwithfawkes

Crisis is Opportunity: The Fattening

04 Thursday Aug 2016

Posted by perrinlovett in Books For Sale, News and Notes, Other Columns

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

America, books, fat, fitness, obesity

So say the Chinese. I agree. That’s why I am happy to report that Americans are fatter than ever – and getting fatter year by year. Since the late 1980s the average American has gained 15 pounds – and not muscle.

There’s no doubt about it: Americans are getting heavier and heavier. But new U.S. estimates may still come as a shock — since the late 1980s and early 1990s, the average American has put on 15 or more additional pounds without getting any taller.

Even 11-year-old kids aren’t immune from this weight plague, the study found. Girls are more than seven pounds heavier even though their height is the same. Boys gained an inch in height, but also packed on an additional 13.5 pounds compared to two decades ago.

…

“We are not doing nearly enough to control and reverse the obesity epidemic and doing far too much to propagate it. This is another notice of that sad fact,” said Dr. David Katz. He directs the Yale University Prevention Research Center and is president of the American College of Lifestyle Medicine.

The new statistics were released Aug. 3 in a report from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s National Center for Health Statistics. The statistics for 2011-2014 are based on an analysis of a sample of 19,151 people who underwent medical examinations and were interviewed at home.

These are averages too. The ordinary people. More than two-thirds of all Americans are overweight and over one-third are obese (severely overweight and at risk of serious problems or death). Of the obese many are grossly obese. These are the behemoths one sees waddling around almost everywhere. They’re getting bigger too. 300 and 400-pounders are now very common and there is a growing class of hyper-heavyweights who flirt with four digit weights (some of them have TV shows).

Global_obesity_Fat_Americans_30_percent_of_world_s_human_biomass-1200x908

America: big-time pig-time. Nutritionreview.org.

How, one might wonder, is this good news, an opportunity? One, there is tremendous potential for a huge number of (huge) people to change their lives for the better. There’s a chance for happier and longer living. People literally have the ability to save their lives. For me, this means financial publication potential.

Several years ago I started a book about how I got back into shape. I posted several articles about my journey. Then I let it drop. I noticed there was already a plethora of books on losing weight and living healthy. I figured mine would be white noise. Now I’m not so sure. All those diet books, some of them really good, don’t seem to be working. More diet books than ever and yet people keep getting fatter.

I also noticed that weight-loss is one of the most popular and lucrative book categories out there. It’s right up there with romance novels, get rick quick schemes, and adult coloring books.

Part of my forth-coming anti-terrorism book calls for people to get in shape; it’s hard to fight or flee while obese. Since I have so much of it already typed out and as if I don’t already have enough going on, I’m going to finish Perrin’s Guide to Fitness (title subject to change).

Look for it a little later in this year in Kindle, paperback and maybe even audio format. Enjoy your cheeseburgers and shakes while you can.

PS: my way is easy, fun, and self-rewarding!

We’re Number One!

14 Wednesday Oct 2015

Posted by perrinlovett in News and Notes

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

America, collapse, decline, economy, exercise, fat, football, government, modern, The People, Zombies

I just published a story about the sad ending of one of the greatest men’s clothiers in American history. As sad as the end was it was fitting. Modern American men do not need nice clothes. They don’t want to look like gentlemen. They resent class. They are, by and very large, a mass of fat slobs. Our women don’t look much better.

As you may remember from blog posts past I used to be a fattie. With a little self-control and a lot of gym time I transformed myself from a tubby couch potato into a proportionate athlete. Of late I find it difficult to exercise on a regular schedule. Yet and still, by carefully controlling my diet, I maintain a healthy body mass. I only eat what I need. This simple concept escapes most Americans.

Modern Americans are the fattest people in the history of the planet. More than half the populace is overweight, a third are morbidly obese. Adults, children – read the stats I just linked to. Hell, you don’t have to read it, do you?

The other day as I motored about my daily business I saw a bloated whale of a woman waddling across a busy street. Perhaps 400 ponds, more than twice her natural weight, she lumbered forth, oblivious to the world, yapping on her cell phone. Like a fat zombie. I see this everyday, everywhere. I’m sure you must see it also. Pathetic as it is common.

I’m not making fun of fat people. I used to be one of them. I wish they could be healthy, be normal. Else, I wish they would spare the rest of us their repulsive visage. It’s just too much – literally.

Americans are the fattest. We’re also among the dumbest. We have the largest population in prison. We are among the most violent. This is paradoxical. Historically, heavier people were associated with a prosperous and civil society. Our society is overly dumb and overly in economic decline.

Ours is a society in decline by every measure. We are obsessed by the trivial. The important goes unnoticed and unattended. In most American States the highest paid public servant is a college football coach.

ykdkqhstdm1ptubyuct2

Map of the madness.

I love college football. It’s just plain fun. However, it is sad that my team’s coach makes 25 times (roughly) as much as the governor of my state. My taxes support this imbalance, with obvious results. Mediocre football, monopoly subsidized, in a pitiful political environment.

Others notice the disparities too. Small business owners know something is wrong. Something is wrong. It’s what I write about so often here.

There is no political solution. No legal solution. The change must come from us. What will you do? Me, I’m going back to the gym. Back to the ring. Please follow me.

America is number one in all the wrong categories. It’s time for a change.

Questions and Comments 4/6/2013 **100th Post!**

06 Saturday Apr 2013

Posted by perrinlovett in News and Notes, Other Columns

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

100 posts, 911, bacteria, bikinis, blog, buffet, churches, CIA, Cuba, drives, Easter, fat, God, gym, Hooters, jail, Karl Marx, lies, Miguel Jimenez, NFL, PGA, Secret Service, Snufus, stupid, time machine, Un

This is the 100th post here at the old blog!  Let’s have a party!

balloons

(Woo Hoo!! Google Images.)

Even with the 100 posts, I’ve only used a little less than 1% of my existing space here so the party will continue for many years.  I will be going “pro” soon, with major upgrades, which I think include even more memory.  Look forward to a lifetime of Perrin’s mad rants.

You may have gathered that yesterday’s post was cut short in mid draft.  It was; I wrapped it up where it was and published.  The legal profession called and I had to answer.  Two of my friends learned the hard way why you never want to call 911 nor talk to the police.  I spent the afternoon trying unsuccessfully to have a warrant recalled and the night getting someone out of the Government Hotel.  I got home from the jail (and the grocery store…) around midnight.  Do not talk to the police!  They arrest people.

When I arrived at Casa Lovett I found a visitor sleeping in the kitchen.  For a week our family is hosting Snuffus, the Guinea Pig, from my daughter’s class.  I was informed this morning that he is a she and is not named Snufus.  I like “Snufus” but I will call her a her from now on.  I’ll try to post some pictures.  Does anyone have any good stew recipes???

Well, I thought you might have some weekend questions and I happen to have a bunch of comments.  I also have some questions of my own.  Heeeere we go:

If fat makes you mad, that might explain why Young Un is the maddest SOB in North Korea.  Ehhh?

The South Korean press reports that dear leader Kim J. UnUsual cuts his own hair … with a sling-blade.

Little Kimmy reportedly said when he grows up he wants to be the communist idol of his dreams, Barry Sotoro.

Anyone know what the range of hampster-wheel powered ICBMs is?

If Krazy K. actually nuked Washington, D.C., would anyone miss it?

Would we be obliged to give him a medal or a gym membership?

What’s the uproar about these four gay football players?  The whole NFL has been “out” for several years now…

NFL commissioner Roger Goodywell has decreed the game will no longer involve contact; accordingly, they have ordered several thousand pink flags.

Lauren Silberman admitted she “threw” her kicking audition upon learning none of the cute guys at the combine were straight.

Starting next year the Super Bowl will be henceforth known as the “Stellar Stupendous Basin Thingy.”

Mike Rice, recently relieved of his job, has also been banned from all NFL stadiums for life.

Bubba “General Hover Lee” Watson is the Thomas Edison of the PGA.

Michael Phelps has taken up golf; he wants his clubs measured by ounces or grams, not simple numbers.

The Augusta “Big Tent” Hooters hosts TWO!! bikini contests Masters week.  Did you know that?

Miguel Angel Jimenez is the manliest man to ever grace a golf course!  Any dispute?  Good.

Miguel-Angel-Jimenez-cigar_2637345

(The. Man.  You can’t hang, go home.  Google.)

Bill Clinton has founded the Young Beaver Cigar Company, with the logo: “Smoke a Beaver!”

You secretly like old Bill, don’t you?

Little Barry started smoking cigars, Alec Bradley’s to be exact, instead of cigarettes; he abruptly stopped when he realised it’s the “Maxx” not the “Marx.”

Barry’s native village witch doctor has successfully contacted Karl Marx in hell via a séance.  He is expected to join the cabinet soon as an economic analyst.

With Obama, Biden, and Kerry at the helm, why worry about North Korea?

Urban Moving Systems is back in business.  Their new jingle is called We Move at Free Fall Speed. 

In related news, Larry Silverstein has leased and quintuple insured the Sears Tower.

Any truth to the rumor Benedict Arnold was a CIA provocateur?

A forty-story skyscraper in Chechnya completely burned on all floors last week without collapsing neatly into its own footprint at free fall speed.  The entire Chechnyan people have been declared terrorists.

If a poor goat-herder stumbles upon a poppy plant and there are no CIA agents around, is he still an enemy combatant?

If you believe anything the government reports, please email me for your $1000 100th post gala tickets (no refunds).

Is it only that Democrats from California are ugly, or does being a California Democrat make you ugly?

Dianne Feinstein is so ugly, roaches use her picture to scare away pests.

Removing Republicans from the statistics raises the average I.Q. thirty points, while curing “Low-T” completely.

Whatever became of the GOP “Wide Stance” Club??

In response to the recent bribe scandal in New York, Michael “Soda Jerk” Bloomberg has banned pepperoni pizzas…

Mark Sanford was nominated this week for a South Carolina Congressional Seat but was unable to comment.  Seems he was hiking on the AT.

Bill Clinton also announced he was going hiking at the same time.  A conspiracy?

Why does the Secret Service redact the Argentine sex-offenders list?

John Boehner says he will keep smoking but is expected to cave later.

Jay Z can stay in Cuba but I want Beyonce back … with Partagas Serie Ds.

The bigger she gets, the more Kim Kardashian reminds me of Michelle O.  See it?

If America gets any more obese, will we have to make AlGore our King?

I saw a fat chick in the gym this morning.  Just kidding.

The Golden Trough buffet chain has announced they will replace the bacteria ridden chocolate fountain with a pure fat waterfall.

Bigger King executives wanted to introduce a Quadruple Whooper but they couldn’t configure enough defibrillators in their restaurants.  Darn physics…

The Miss America Padgett will have to reinforce the stage to prevent a collapse if trends continue.  They will also have to replace the swimsuit round with a car cover round.

Given the demand and Medicare reimbursements, Freightliner and Volvo trucks have announced they will stop producing semis and switch their assembly lines to fat scooter production.

46% of American drivers report confusing the brake and gas petals though all report they can deftly drift lanes while cellphone jibbering.

Given American road traffic, why not spare us the obsolescence of accelerators?

People need governments, like governments needs guns.

If guns kill people, how did Abel die?

The car wash manager asked me to keep my pistol in the car as it offended and frightened his resident panhandlers and muggers.

A fat ugly woman at an anti-gun rally said she would rather be raped than shoot a rapist.  As if she’d have the chance.

Did Barack Obama intend the greatest gun salesman in history?

When asked to identify North Korea on a map, 50% of American high school students responded they though math was discriminatory.

Should American high schools just as well replace graduations with sentencings?

A third grader who brought a butter knife to school in her lunch box was arrested when it was discovered she could spell.

Will you really trust your government-educated grandchildren to change your diapers and manage your affairs in a few years?

The government has tentatively discovered a way to re-employ younger Americans in factories so as to shore up Social Security for baby boomers.  Does anyone know where they can come by a time machine?

Do all traffic intersections play hip hop music nowadays or is it a mass coincidence?

American churches reported the lowest level of Easter services attendance in history recently.  When asked if He was concerned, God said it was just as well.

If pollen was a source of fuel and food, we’d be set for millenia.

And lastly,

Who the heck is Honey Boo Boo?  And, do the Republicans plan to put her on Jeb’s 2016 ticket?

That’s all for this afternoon.  Thanks for 100 great readerships.  Keep up the good work and I will too!

Ten More Things For A Happier Life

04 Thursday Apr 2013

Posted by perrinlovett in Other Columns

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

advice, camping, Cassandra, change, clutter, fast food, fat, fish, garden, hiking, hobby, hypnosis, insurance, loafing, mind, money, nature, NFL, pink, sissies, sleep, trades, Troy, useless, Who Moved My Cheese?

I like making these lists.  Many of these ideas I have tried to put into practice, some just come to me and I share them with you so we can implement them together.  Let’s see what I have today…

1. Less is More

My favorite Priest and George Carlin did the same stand-up routines about people and their “stuff,” not sure you copied whom.  Anyway, modern people have an over-abundance of things, items, and stuff weighting them down like anchors.  Clean out the clutter!  Here’s how to do it: look around your home and see what items you have not used in the past six months.  By and large, those are things you just don’t need.  I have never been a pack-rat but about a year and a half ago I had the opportunity to look through most of the things I owned.  I got rid of the majority of them.  Now, I’m happier and I never miss anything I scraped.  You’d be amazed at the things people will buy from you.  Sell what you can, donate as much as you can, and can the rest.  Once you start, it is very easy.  Get rid of all the unnecessary stuff in your life.  Then, see number five, below.

2. Get Back to Nature.

First I recommended walking around, then hiking.  What I’m referring to here is more than just taking a hike.  It means slowing down and enjoying the natural world around you.  Modern conveniences are great at times, but they usually lack a human feel.  To reconnect with the world just try sitting quietly outside.  Look around, count squirrels.  After your hike, pitch a tent and camp out.  Cook over a fire.  At home, plant a garden and eat what you grow.  It’s better for you and gives you something to do that makes you feel truly accomplished.  It’s pretty easy too. 

backyard-vegetable-garden

(Play in the dirt!  Google.)

3. Take Some Time Off to do Nothing

People rush around like rats in a maze nowadays.  That may be the life for some but I figure there’s more to life than just rushing.  Usually, folks only stop their day-to-day madness for a specific event – a sick day, vacation, or some special event.  I say, just every once in a while, take a day to do nothing.  Call in sick one day and spend it loafing.  Odds are, you need it.  Time off refreshes the brain and will enable you to tackle your chores with greater vigor – tomorrow.  Americans, despite chronic unemployment and diminishing incomes, are still the hardest working people on earth.  Reward yourself with a little “you” time.

4. Start a Hobby With a Useful Skill

Everyone has a job – teacher, architect, lawyer, driver, etc.  Imagine, if you will, that one day the world changes and your profession is no longer in need.  Then what?  Wouldn’t it be great to have something else to fall back on?  Pick a trade or hobby that will always be in demand (gardening/farming, sewing, carpentry, etc.) and add it to your vocational repertoire.  You’ll learn something, have fun, and have an edge if things change – they always do.

5. Give up Something You Don’t Need

Yes, this is kind of related to number one but, instead of letting go of a physical thing, give up something you do that really isn’t that important to your life.  You’ll improve yourself thereby.  Over the past ten years or so I’ve been trying as hard as possible to put as much distance between myself and our idiotic popular culture as I can.  I have no interest in vapid celebrities, boring television, statist-organized movies, and music which is really just noise with a price tag.  With the exceptions of watching golf and the Dawgs, I have stopped paying attention to all competitive sports which do not involve me cranking a reel, squeezing a trigger, or physically improving myself.  Recently, I decided to cut my last tie with professional sports (excepting golf) by giving up pro football.  The NFL is no longer a sport, now it’s a soap opera with injuries, time-outs, the TSA, and pink everywhere.  I don’t need to watch overpaid prima donnas clad in pink play a child’s game for four hours.  I’d rather smoke a cigar, pump iron, or fry the fish I catch.  Besides, pro sports were specifically engineered by the elite as our “bread and circuses” in order to keep us pacified.  I’m not easy to pacify and impossible to control.  Rebel against something!

pink

(So manly. Not.  Google.)

6. Spare Someone the Advice

Most people do not listen to your advice, solicited or otherwise.  If they do, they usually ignore it.  This even happens if they pay you for your advice – I know all about this.  Note: I am in no way talking about great blogs here…  Cassandra was the Princess of Troy.  She constantly gave advice and made predictions.  Despite being correct 100% of the time, no-one ever listened to her.  Don’t be Cassandra.  People will usually do as they will, it’s their nature.  Let them be.

7. Re-Evaluate Where You Stand

Where are you?  Who are you?  Are you a middle-aged man in a small, crapulent city you hate?  Do you always vote for a particular party of ticks just because they’re “your party?”  Going to school because you can’t think of anything else to do?  Sounds like it’s time to do some soul-searching and maybe make a change.  Change is good.  Read Who Moved My Cheese? by Spencer Johnson, http://www.amazon.com/Who-Moved-My-Cheese-Amazing/dp/0399144463/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1365124623&sr=8-1&keywords=who-moved-my-cheese, do understand why.  If what you’re doing isn’t working for you, stop.  If it is, rejoice and continue.

8. Cut the Processed Food

I lost 50 pounds of unsightly fat (probably more setting aside muscle gain) in the past 6 months.  Part of my plan, which I didn’t really plan, was to stop eating out and to eat unprocessed or fresh foods at home.  It just happened for me and the results are astounding.  Fast food is loaded with fat, grease, poisonous additives, and carbohydrates (which turn into fat).  It also costs a lot of money.  A burger or ice cream every now and then is okay.  It won’t hurt your diet and, in moderation, tastes the way it’s supposed to.  Try replacing half of your processed/fast food intake for a week and see what happens.  I think you’ll thank me the week after.

9. Check Your Insurance

We insure ourselves against everything these days.  Part of this is common sense, part of it is peer pressure, and part of it is a reaction to all the fear we’re force-fed by society.  For instance, “they” say everyone needs life insurance in case one dies leaving behind obligations.  This might be true.  But, what if you have no obligations and no dependents?  Who benefits then from all those monthly premium payments?  And, in that case, should you die, why care about what happens to the world when you’re gone – you’re gone!  Also, if you have accumulated sufficient personal assets to cover any post-demise incidentals, what’s the point in giving some unregulated bank your money?  Check your situation and see if you really need that policy.  Or, any kind of policy.  See if you could save money by switching companies or cutting back on services you don’t need.  And, always remember – insurance companies are in business to take your money, period.  If a time comes when they have to pay out, they will avoid it at all costs.  Plan your coverage accordingly.

10. Hypnotize Yourself

providence_hypnosis_ri

(Crazy but true.  Google.)

This sounds a little wackier than my usual rambles but it’s possible, it works, and it will help you.  It relates to many of my previous points.  The problem is, I can’t exactly explain how to do it.  That’s up to you and your brain.  Really, it’s just psychological conditioning, I suppose.  I have mastered the ability to command or trick my brain into ceasing all worry, any negative thoughts, or any conscious processes I wish to halt for the time being.  This is great a bed time when the mind is still in high gear.  I order it to stop, it stops.  I then order my body to sleep, I sleep.  Perhaps someday I will master the science of relaying the process.  Until then, remember that if i can do it, so can you – without instructions.  Try one night when you can’t sleep and you’re out of NyQuil.

As always, pass these along if you care.  Try to come up with great suggestions of your own (in spite of seeming like a Cassandra).  Sleep long and prosper!

Questions and Comments 3/29/2013

29 Friday Mar 2013

Posted by perrinlovett in Other Columns

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

1911, ADA, Alabama, America, American Rifleman, Assad, Augusta, bankers, Barak Obama, basketball, Ben Bernanke, Bieber, Bin Laden, Bush, Christians, CIA, Clinto, Congress, crime, Cyprus, D.C., Dianne Feinstein, disability, Disney, drugs, EBT, fat, Federal Reserve, Fire Hat, gays, global warming, God, hell, Hussein, Janet Napolitano, Jim Carrey, Kate Upton, Lindsey Vonn, Lohan, marriage, Masters, McCain, Mexico, Michael Bloomberg, Michael Moore, Monsanto, New World Order, obsesity, Oscar the Grouch, Piers Morgan, politicians, Powell, raoches, rats, Rothschilds, Schumer, Sesame Street, Sheen, snakes, SSI, Steve Martin, taxes, theft, Thomas Jefferson, War, Youtube

You have answers, I have questions.  You have questions, I have comments.  In the tradition of Fire Hat…

I want to give my white man’s perspective on basketball: “Who cares?”

Kim Jong Unbalenced has kindly offered to bomb D.C.  We should get him a fruit basket or something.

The more television channels, the less shows worth watching.

If not for politicians and banksters, who would rats and roaches look down upon?

Since they can drive and talk on the phone at the same time, why can’t people drive and use turn signals concurrently?

Aside from the Brady Center and mental inpatients, does Piers Morgan have an audience?

Imperial and Georgian forces have raided the property of the FPSRussia guy – don’t post yourself with guns on Youtube.

When are the next parliamentary elections in Cyprus?

Why are banks still standing in Cyprus?

Considering that almost every town has a thief and maybe a murderer, why do we still need governments?

Given that almost every town has that thief, why do we still need banks?

Any bets on when Justin Bieber goes John Belushi on us?

Why can’t Augusta have the Masters Tournament 51 weeks out of the year?  Seems to work for baseball, basketball, and Nascar.

Why are gay people upset about laws banning them from committing marriage?

Women take bicycles fishing? Huh?

If a law falls in the forest and there’s no judge around to opine, can law professors still think?

How come a grocery store in a neighborhood where everyone has EBT cards can’t make it financially?

Why do those EBT cardees need food handouts?

When the above-grocery store in Augusta, GA went out of business, the Sheriff refused to give the excess food to the gathered crowd of hundreds.  He said they were too fat as is.  The new Sheriff is an observant man.

Scientists predict 104% of the American population will be morbidly obese by 2022.

Why do “Christians” lust for war, real or imaginary?

Lindsay Lohan is starring in Charlie Sheen’s TV show; local liquor stores report record sales.

How does unemployment rise in an economic recovery?

If he government wants to ban guns, why don’t they ditch theirs and lead by example?

By around 2020 the ADA will have to be revised to mandate each parking lot set aside one or spaces in the rear for “normals.”

Ben Bernanke has secured a patent on a warp-drive powered printing press; rejoice!

If alive today Thomas Jefferson would hang his head, sail back to England, and beg the Queen for clemency.

Officials in Anniston, Alabama announced yesterday that the last factory in America closed.

I applaud Barack Obama’s vacation schedule; he works hard and needs a tan.

If Lindsey Graham joined the Communist Party, would anyone notice?

Are there any brown people left on earth the U.S. has not bombed lately?

Is not being disabled a disability these days?

After more than forty seasons, Sesame Street is set to replace Oscar the Grouch with Michael Bloomberg after the good mayor retires.

Steve Martin has agreed to reprise the role of The Jerk next year in a tribute to Bloomberg.

How does one go about getting the job of body painting Kate Upton?

In an effort to allow banks to raid more of your cash, Congress has introduced legislation to place mattresses and mason jars under Federal Reserve control.

Is there any truth to the rumor Dianne Feinstein will play the Wicked Which of the West’s ugly, controlling grandmother?

Why do we have Cuban baseball players but not cigars?

Next year when everyone in America becomes unemployed or disabled, who will pay the taxes?

Several illegal immigrants went home disgusted with America this week, after climbing over the fence only to discover the hideous presence of Chuck Schumer and John McCain.  What has the world come to?

Angry armed citizens arrested the corrupt local police in a Mexican town this week; Americans are weak, fat, and stupid.

If Patrick Henry were alive today, he would kick McCain and Schumer in their heads before jumping the fence to Mexico.

Now we know why Lindsey Vonn winces when the idiots scream, “Get in the hole!”

If the 1911 had never been invented, what would American Rifleman report on?

Pharmaceutical companies make money drugging our children; school shootings are their advertisements.

Reading, Riting, and Ritalin, why can’t Johnny aim without the jitters?

All roaches, flies, and spiders have departed the Capital in protest over adverse working conditions.

If global warming is measured by pollen, we’re screwed.

Monsanto owns your CongressCritter, b***hes!

Poor Janet Napolitano has never been on a date.

God called and stated he would rescind his promise against future floods if another Bush runs for President.

Clinton made Bush look good; Bush made Clinton look good; Obama made Bush look good.  Another Bush followed by another Clinton followed by a catastrophic asteroid collision will made Washington look good.

Does Bashar al-Assad shop at Saddam Hussein’s old yellow cake retailer?  Mr. Powell?

Marine biologists have discovered bankers are all descended from a common sea slug, the Thievish Filtha-sluggis.

Jesse Jackson is upset, again.

The Capital One Vikings have all filed successfully for SSI.

Jim Carrey needs an enema.

Michael Moore was ticketed from breaking a truck-stop scale during his last weigh-in.

Does Osama Bin Laden’s family receive his CIA retirement?

Which childhood classic will Disney destroy next?

Pope Francis will be in Washington next week to wash the feet of more felons.

All six adult American men who don’t play video games met for the first time at a Knoxville Waffle House last week; we had a good time.

Following their recent success in finding the “God particle,” physicists are proud to announce they have discovered the “Satan particle;” it will be formally known as the “Bush,” “Clinton,” or “Feinstein” particle once the dust settles.

The Rothschilds endorsed the American slob as the State Bird of the New World Order.

What’s the difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead politician in the road?  The politician still wants your money.

The correct greeting for a bankster or politician is, “Go BACK to hell!”

How I Lost Over 40 Pounds, Etc., Part II.

23 Saturday Feb 2013

Posted by perrinlovett in Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Arnold Schwarzenegger, benefits, big guns, bodybuilding, cardio, embarrassing, Evans Fitness Center, exercise, fat, fitness, fun, girls, gut, gym, happiness, inversion table, joints, machines, pants, sauna, spine, steam room, stretching, weights

This is the second installment (third really) on my recent weight loss and permanent health kick.  I encourage all of you to get physical and fit.  It makes a world of difference in one’s daily life, everything seems easier and a little more fun!

I keep singing the praises of Evans Fitness Center (EFC), http://www.evansfitnessclub.com/, here in my local area.  I spoke with their management today about the blog, my comments, and the possibility of my appearance in one of those “before and after” photo testimonial things.  The girls especially seem interested in the latter part.

efc_logo

(Source: EFC website).

If you don’t live in metro-Augusta, Georgia, then I hope you have a good facility nearby.  I have seem clubs as impressive as EFC but they are RARE.  Any club could do in theory, though I have found that an excellent, first class environment lends itself to keeping one motivated and inspired.

I joined EFC in December when they first opened.  They even have a 30-day free trial!  At the time I had already lost maybe 20 pounds due to my change in dietary habits.  As I have written before, I was nervous about going to any gym.  In the past I have usually hurt myself while trying to do too much too fast or have just lost interest.  A lot of clubs are not interesting.  Neither was the case at EFC. 

First, I just can’t say enough about the quality of this place.  They have a filter thing that refills your water bottle, free towels, and so many other perks I can’t list them all.  Everything was done right.  Second, I really wanted to get back into shape, and so, I used my brain for a change and worked my way into the program.  By the way, this here is not a “program” like those on TV.  If it were, you’d see me on the idiot box hawking it to some hip-hop beat surrounded by hot babes.  Hmmmmmmm???????

Anyway, for me the right way was slow and cautious, especially with weights.  If you want a great guide to exercising with weights, pick up a copy of Arnold’s Encyclopedia of Bodybuilding, http://www.amazon.com/The-New-Encyclopedia-Modern-Bodybuilding/dp/0684857219.  The name may sound intimidating was may seem some of the pictures and described routines.  I used the old model in my glory days.  It works.  However, you need not be a hardcore Mr./Mrs. Olympia candidate to benefit from the guide.  Consider it an education.  Arnold covers literally everything about conditioning every muscle of the body in tremendous detail.  Use what you need, no more.  If you’ve never worked out before or it has been a while, a personal trainer can help you.  Find one that suits your needs and disposition.

I’ll simply, here, divide weight training into three categories: free weights (to include plate-weighted machines); weight stack machines; and cable/pulley weights.  These last two are my description names.

I started with the stack machines and light free weights.  I now incorporate all three into my routine based on what I’m trying to do.  EFC, like many good gyms, has multiple areas for all of these types.

Regardless of what I use I try to adhere to some simple procedures.  First, I break my days up my the muscles I hit.  Generally it works like this: Day 1, arms and shoulders; Day 2, back and chest; Day 3, legs.  I do abdominal exercises everyday (or try to).  Along with abs I work all “core” muscles, those around the middle of the torso.  Many people make the mistake of building a strong stomach while neglecting their lower back and sides.  This leads to imbalance and possible painful problems.  Work them all together and equally.

My gut was the most embarrassing visual part of the old me.  Personally, the worst thing was the lack of energy for daily tasks.  It was the gut that everyone saw.  I must admit I  worked my way up to size 44 pants, and they were getting tight!  I just bought some 38s and they are already loose.  I went from the last notch on my belt to the other last notch, then I had to drill a new (good) last notch, then another.  I am cheap, poor, and I have good belts to begin with.  I will buy new ones when these fall apart.

Once a week or so I work on my neck.  The neck usually gets flexed while doing shoulder and other exercises.  I concentrate on it specifically for an extra boost.  I have … excuse me, had, neck problems.  Building up the muscles that support the head and stretching them have eliminated most of my problems.  A word of warning!  The neck is sensitive and extra care should be used when working it, I go EXTRA light and easy with my neck.  Be careful, you spine is kind of important!

The second simple procedure I follow is the amount of effort I give each particular movement or exercise.  Let’s say I’m doing bicep curls (for the big guns!).  I try to do three separate sets of ten repetitions of this exercise.  With lighter weights I will go for 15 to 20 reps – this builds definition.  If I’m trying to “shock” the biceps I will pyramid my way up in weights and may sacrifice the total number of reps on the heavier sets. 

I also do multiple types of work for each muscle or muscle group.  In Muscle and Fitness Magazine, I read, a long time ago, some great advice: “Everything works, but nothing works for long.”  You have to vary it up to keep the progress and fun going.  This also depends on what you are trying to accomplish.  Serious weight-lifters go through cycles of heavy weight, light weight, no weight, etc. to reach their goals.  My goal is a lean, muscular look, like Christian Bale’s Batman/Bruce Wayne.  You have a different goal, you’ll figure it out in time.

By the way, I stretch constantly to keep the muscles I working loose.  After I pump iron I go upstairs and do some form of “cardio” work.  This is what most people associate with burning fat, and it does.  It also plays with your heart-rate and workload, hence the name “cardio.”  Again, you need to figure out, maybe with expert help, what you’re trying to do.  Jacking your heart rate through the roof might strengthen your heart (or kill you) but it might not be the best way to burn fat.  My approach is easy.  I use either the elliptical machine, treadmill, or stationary bike (usually the elliptical) for my needs.  I go for 10 to 30 minutes depending on how I feel and how much time I have.  These modern machines track everything: calories burned, time, heart-rate, etc.  I’m more concerned with calories but I closely monitor the other factors.  It all depends.  Trial and error folks.

The last thing I do before I leave the gym floor is stretch.  This when I get to do my favorite exercise of all – hanging upside-down on the inversion table.  I try to do it for 3 to 5 minutes or longer.  I stretches out everything and decompresses the spine and joints – literally reversing gravity.  Sleeping at night decompresses the joints – this goes beyond.  I can’t say enough about this so I will leave much to your imagination.

inversin table

(The greatest invention of all time.  Source: Google Images).

Depending on how much time I have I end the workout with a trip to the steam room or the sauna or both.  Both do the same thing – they make you sweat.  Steam, while having a lower temperature, works faster – instantly, in fact.  The sauna is hotter but, as a dry heat, it takes a short while to start working.  The benefits to both are numerous.  They are very relaxing (once you get used to the oven-like experience).  They work wonders on sore muscles and joints.  And, they help you shed excess water.  Sweating eliminates toxins and gunk from the body.  Just remember to keep drinking water to put back what you need.  Again, water is supremely important both to life and weight loss.  Water is your friend.

Well friends, that’s what I do.  This is a great over-simplification.  Again, you will just have to jump in and see what works for you.  Seek professional guidance as needed.  My main point here is to inspire and share what can be accomplished.  Go get em, tigers!

How I lost Over Forty Pounds And Started Changing My Life, Part I.

21 Thursday Feb 2013

Posted by perrinlovett in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

alcohol, Andrew Weil, breathing, changes, coffee, diets, excercise, fat, food, green space chickens, happiness, inversion table, muscle, sleep, stress, stretching, The Time Given, vitamins, water, weight loss, worry

Not long ago I posted a brief rant about losing weight, getting in shape, and threatening to steal a piece of exercise equipment.  That last bit cost me a visit and a stern warning from the Sheriff.  Luckily, in spite of my dieting, I happened to have several fresh donuts on hand.  Wheeew.

As of the last time I weighed in I have officially lost a little over 40 pounds!  That is a lot – almost as much as my daughter weighs.  I started out in late September at 238 lbs and after losing almost 17% of my original weight I’m down to just under 198.  It is the first time I’ve been under 200 in almost twenty years.  I hate to admit it, but back in 2007 I tipped the scales at 255.  At that point I knew I had a problem and I managed to shrink back a little though not nearly enough.

Like I said last time, what I’m doing is not a diet – it’s a life change.  Life is funny.  As a child I alternated between being tall and skinny one year and husky the next.  Luckily, around eight grade I evened out at mostly skinny.  In high school I began to lift weights in addition to those other activities that keep young people annoyingly in shape. 

Once I got to college I began to SERIOUSLY hit the weights, alternating between power-lifting and bodybuilding.  I also did a bit of trail running.  By the time I graduated I weighed in at around 230 muscular pounds.  Then for the better part of two decades I did absolutely nothing – except eat.  Gradually, my muscles gave way to rolls of fat, I started shuffling about, and I felt terrible.  I dieted for my wedding and several other times I made attempts to reclaim my former glory.  Each was a failure.  Why?  Because I didn’t really want to be fit.  Like any good American I wanted to take it easy, eat burgers, and drink beer.  No wonder we’re the most obese people in human history.

For the education of anyone else interested, I have decided to explain how I accomplished my recent success.  Please understand I am not a professional in this area.  I was a certified personal trainer in college but I never really made great use of that credential.  I am not in a position to relate scientific methodology here.  If you think you have a serious problem you may want to consult a doctor or a trainer.

If you are just ready for a change I suggest you start by reading this.  I am devoting a whole chapter in The Time Given to the subject also.  I would consult with your doctor just to be on the safe side.  Then maybe with his guidance you can work with a nutritionist or trainer.  Be mindful a lot of what I’m going to tell you is more mental and emotional than physical.  And, much of the physical stuff doesn’t sound like a training program either.  By the way, while this process has been fun for the most part, I have not found it necessarily easy. 

Having blabbed all that, let me set the stage for what I’ve done:

2012 was a very difficult year for me.  I found myself swamped by several of those great troubles that go along with life in the modern world.  Good things happened too, but good things often come with a stress all their own.  Mixing good and bad together day by day and month by month, I was “down” to say the least. 

In early September of last year I tried a big criminal case.  It had consumed much of my year and I ended up presenting before a Jury.  I thought my client was the most sympathetic individual on earth and the matter would be a slam dunk for us.  The Jury thought otherwise.  We lost.  I’ve tried lots of cases before and I have lost a few.  None stung like this one did.  I still can’t believe it happened the way it did and sooner or later I plan to tell that story of injustice to the enlightened public; I’ve contacted two heavy-weight freedom advocates for assistance.

Back in September I hit a low I’ve never experienced before.  I don’t think I talked to anyone or did anything for about a week.  Fearing I was slipping into major depression I consulted with my doctor.  It was during the appointment weigh-in that I discovered my heft; I had assumed I was something like 215 or 220 at most.  The rest of the appointment was a success.  The doc ordered me to make major changes if I wanted to improve my life station and my health.  What he said were things I really knew the whole time.  But, sometimes it helps to hear it from someone else.

I set out to make the change.  Maybe it was the lingering shock of the trial defeat and all else that had befallen me or maybe it was something else but, I immediately began to lose weight.  This was mainly due to the fact that I ate almost nothing.  I used to love to eat – anything and everything.  Back in college I could chow down on a whole large pizza and still maintain a healthy shape.  Things changed over time.  Big meals became my enemy. 

Now, suddenly, I had no appetite.  I wasn’t even hungry nor conscious of my lack of eating until one day when I developed a case of the shakes.  I then realized I had probably eaten twice in the past four or five days.  Realizing that wasn’t healthy I forced myself to nibble here and there.  The weight kept coming off.  People began to comment and ask what I was doing.  I honestly answered, “nothing.” 

Once I dropped into the 220s I made the decision to not simply decrease my calories (as was the case anyway) but to alter what I ate.  Between October and December I figure I cut those calories in half – down from 2500 to 3000 per day to about 1500 or so.  The weight kept coming off. 

I changed the food I ate.  Studies have shown that you can lose weight eating pure junk-food as long as you eat the right amount.  The numbers make sense.  However, I really don’t like junk food and I am suspicious of the long-term effects of such dieting.  I embarked into “healthy” eating.  Not carrot juice and tofu or the like.  I just cut out the crap – like sodas, heavy bread and pasta, and snacking.  I like meat and I eat a good variety.  Instead of having two pork chops as before, now I stop at one.  I like fruits and veggies and I eat a great variety of those.  All things in moderation.  I suppose the food part is a balancing act and each person’s needs are different.  I have stumbled upon what works well for me.  You might need that professional help I mentioned earlier.  If you do, don’t hesitate to get it.

Food is not the only important item of consumption.  Humans must have water to live and I drink a great deal of the stuff.  When I work out I drink H20 constantly.  I drink it at home and at the office and most other places.  Water performs many miraculous functions for the body and when you drink enough things are well-regulated. 

Speaking of drinks, over my lifetime I have developed a liking for strong coffee and excellent ale.  Coffee in the morning is a great pick me up.  However, I have found that one or two cups does the job fine – no need to drink a pot. 

Overconsumption of coffee and other caffeine products leads to the jitters, energy crashes, headaches, and it reeks havoc on certain natural body chemicals.  Not being a professional I still understand that too much caffeine inhibits cortisol production which slows down fat burning.  I may have got that all wrong but now that I drink less of the stuff I feel better and have more energy.

As for alcohol, I particularly like strong, dark and flavorful ales, porters and stouts.   I honestly enjoy the tastes of such beers and I find them a pleasant way to relax at the end of the day.  They also are a great source of calories, some are 300 to 400 or more per bottle.  The solution I have settled on, just like with food and coffee, is to cut back to a reasonable quantity.  Moderation.  If you have a problem with alcohol this is a great chance to get help, by the way.  The Bible talks about enjoyment in moderation.  If you can’t moderate, it’s probably best to abstain.

It’s funny.  Once you cut back on these things and get used to getting by on less, you don’t miss them at all.

In addition to drinking plenty of water I also take a complete multi-vitamin once a day to supplement any nutrients I might otherwise miss.  I have considered adding fish oil to the regime but I don’t know much about it and what I’m doing seems to work for me.

Let’s see.  We must have food or we die within about 30 days or so.  We can do without water for around 3 days.  Air!  We cease moving without air in around 3 minutes.  Everyone breathes subconsciously.  Did you know you can learn to breathe better?  I read Dr. Andrew Weil’s book Eight Weeks to Optimum Health and he discusses the importance of proper breathing and the techniques to do so.  They’re easy.  Essentially, it’s taking longer, deeper breaths of air.  This allows more oxygen to absorb into the blood.  The more oxygen in the blood, the better the body functions.  Deep breathing also performs the magic trick of killing stress.  Interestingly, de-stressing allows for better breathing.

I also decided to give up worrying.  It’s pointless.  I’m not completely there yet but The Time Given has another chapter dedicated to the issue.  Stress and worry feed off of each other and both take their toll.  Stress cannot be completely eliminated from life, indeed some stress is good for you.  You need to eliminate or counter the bad stress in order to be happy.  Plan and carry out those tasks necessary to get unpleasant things resolved.  Write off or hand off to God those things you simply can’t handle.  And, most importantly, don’t fret over any of it.  Laugh even.

Another stress and fat fighter so many modern people neglect is adequate sleep.  I sleep better now than I have in years.  The results are cumulative.  It’s also important to stretch daily.  Dogs and cats stretch all the time and pound for pound they’re usually more energetic than us.  Emulate them.  Stretching has all kinds of benefits.

The word count is getting up there and I haven’t even touched on the physical exercise part of my routine.  Next time I will discuss weight training, cardio training and really cool stuff like the steam room and that awesome inversion table.  I’ll also cover having more fun, being productive, avoiding negativity and making more positive changes.  Stay tuned!

I’m A Loser, And That’s Fine With Me

09 Saturday Feb 2013

Posted by perrinlovett in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

21, 400 pounds, Arnold Schwarzenegger, calories, diet, Evans Fitness Center, fat, fitness, girls, green space chickens, happy, inversion table, life, Queen, sauna, sleep, women

I’m not trying to inundate the web with posts but I feel like ramblin good today.  This one is happier than the last.  As some of you know I have recently embarked on a great weight loss adventure.  As of the last time I checked I am down 38 pounds!  What a loser!  That puts me at a solid 200.  I seem to have plateaued there for the time being – for good reasons, as follows.

This is more than a diet.  I have made a great life change.  Many have been the changes in my life in the past year or two.  Many of those were not so pleasant.  Perhaps out of depression or anxiety I put on a few pounds I really didn’t need.  Then, last fall, I suddenly began to loss some of them.  For no conscious reason I began to eat less.  Oddly, eating more than you need to adds extra pounds.  Once my pants began to loosen up I decided to formally have at it.  In addition to lowering my daily caloric intake, I also changed some of those calories.  Primarily I cut out carbohydrates (except my beloved dark ale) and processed junk food (that’s the majority of the Amerikan diet nowadays). 

By early December I had lost 20 to 25 pounds.  Then, as if I planned it, they opened the Evans Fitness Center (EFC).  Visit them virtually: http://www.evansfitnessclub.com/.  If you are in the Augusta area go in person.  The website does not do the place justice. 

Many, many, many years ago, in another century in fact, i was in excellent physical shape.  Then I stopped almost all activity and began the transformation into a typical Amerikan slob.  I have reversed the slide and I intend to never go back.

Now things are a little different.  I’m not 21 anymore – not that you know, right girls?  Right?…  Hmmm.  So, I did a free trial at EFC and was hooked.  They have a basis economy plan which even a hobo like me can afford.  I started off with weights, those heavy iron things with which I was once so familiar.  I had forgotten most of what I knew about working out.  EFC has so many different areas and types of equipment that I had to relearn and retrain myself.  It happened fast.

This time around I took it slow and light.  No more 400 pound bench presses or 600 pounds squats for me.  No more squats, period.  As it turns out, such massive weights are beyond my current capabilities.  Fat makes you weak, Amerika.  However, I have found that I do better with lower weights and more reps of them.  “Reps” means repetitions or how many times one lifts the weight in sequence.  As I am given to “bulk up” rather fast due to genetics or something (Daddy was a record-setting power-lifter) I have had to carefully watch to ensure I do not overdo anything.  Getting to heavy to fast has been my weakness in my previous attempts to get fit.  Eventually I hurt myself and swear off the gym. 

As is I am quite happy with my progress.  I have even incorporated a cardiovascular program into my routine.  Typically, I hit the old elliptical machine for 20 to 30 minutes after my weight session.  Once I hit 200 pounds I think the good muscle I gained began to offset the useless fat I lost.  Fortunately, for me I still have plenty of fat to burn!  I’m aiming for 190ish.  A good weight for my frame I think.  It’s all about aesthetics … and how the clothes fit.  My fat pants fell off even with a belt so I got rid of them.  Now my new pants are getting loose.  I may be close to 7 or so inches off my waist. 

In addition to looking good I also feel a hell of a lot better.  Last week, due to the untimely arrival of spring in Georgia, I felt compelled to de-thatch and mow the front lawn.  Once I had raked half of it I stopped for a second.  Something was missing.  I wasn’t sweating or out of breath.  Fat makes you sweat and drains your lungs.  I sleep better too.  I go to bed earlier and wake up feeling like I actually slept.  My beautiful queen says I have ceased to snore.  Fat makes you snore. 

Eating less and better, weight training, moving around, sleeping.  What else has changed???  I had to change my FB profile pic to one of Arnold in his heyday.  I drink more water and I breathe deeper.  I also don’t worry about things they way I used to – differently perhaps.  Some of this will be detailed in The Time Given.  Pay off some of the credit card now.

EFC offers some amenities which I never thought to try before.  They have not one, but two, inversion tables.  While looking like a medieval torture device, an inversion table is actually the greatest invention in human history.  I moved the air conditioner to number two, the shotgun to three, etc.  Sorry, Mr. Carrier, you’ve been bested.  One reclines on the table and locks one’s feet into the contraption at the bottom.  Then with the flick of a switch an electric motor rotates you back and down – fully upside down if you like.  That’s what I do.  At full rotation the table is actually in a reverse incline of 5 to 10 degrees ( I have not measured exactly).  What that means is that you, me in this case, get to freely hang upside down.  The foot device is a wee bit uncomfortable the first few times and those times may cause a little dizziness. 

All that hanging around (yuck yuck) performs a miracle on the whole body, in particular the spine and joints.  Five minutes upside-down is like a visit to the chiropractor followed by a massage and a shot of lidocaine.  Really.  I always makes sure to invert at the very end of any workout.  Once righted I feel right as rain.  I may have to steal one of these machines for home use.  Bolt em down or lose one, EFC.

I also, time permitting, enjoy a short sit in the sauna or steam room.  After hanging around this loosens joints and muscles and sweats out evil mojo.  A Scottish shower later and I feel like I am 21 again.  Fat makes you age, Amerika.

There is a distinct downside – two parts.  First, the hour or two spent in the gym is time lost on not sleeping well, snoring, worrying, or being a blob.  Second, I am slightly unnerved by all of the women who constantly ogle me at EFC and elsewhere.  Please be polite, ladies.

As for you, comrades – get out there and get fit!  You may never look as good as me, but you’ll feel a whole lot better.  By the way, how much ya bench?!

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Perrin Lovett

From Green Altar Books, an imprint of Shotwell Publishing

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