The Three Little Voters

29 Monday Feb 2016

Posted by perrinlovett in Legal/Political Columns, Other Columns

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Once upon a time there lived three little voters. They were brothers. One fine day they all decided to set out and seek their fortunes in the wider world.

Their loving mother was happy for them but still sad to see them go. She kissed each of them goodbye. She warned them as they left her home, “Beware of the big bad politician, the wicked politician.”

At first the three little voters walked along together. They talked gaily in the sunshine. No big bad politician was going to bother them!

The youngest little voter talked about equality and free stuff and the horrors of global warming. “I’m a progressive!” He declared to his bored brothers.

The next little voter began to talk about pride in the military, lower taxes, and patriotism. “I am a conservative,” he said. His brothers trudged along.

The oldest brother was a little put out with the other two. He said nothing was free and there should be no taxes at all. “I’m not really a voter at all,” he mused, “government serves the big bad politician.” His younger brothers paid no heed.

After walking and talking together for some time the three little voters decided to go their separate ways.

The youngest little voter, who was a tad lazy, stopped right where he was. “Home at last,” he said. He made his home in an ideology of straw.

The next little voter walked on until he came to a nice little gentrified neighborhood. “Here is where I belong,” he said. He, being more industrious but more gullible than his younger brother, made his home in an ideology of twigs.

The oldest and wisest little (non) voter walked far and wide. He finally found a little corner where he come mind his own business in peace. “Peace and quiet,” he said, “now to work!” His home philosophy was as solid as brick.

Time past. An election drew near. One day the youngest, laziest, progressive little voter was lounging around smoking pot when along came the politician, the wicked politician.

wolf-at-the-door

Disney.

“Little voter, little voter, vote me in!,” said the old liar. “I will help the poor and guarantee you student loans and free healthcare,” he said with fingers crossed.

The dumb little voter, forgetting what his mother admonished him, agreed and voted for the politician. He lived a debt slave’s life of poverty thereafter.

Later than evening the second more gullible little voter was in his yard talking loudly about how tough he was when along came the big bad politician.

“Little voter, little voter, vote me in!,” said the filthy charleton. “I will fight off those no good foreigners who hate you for your freedom!,” he hissed.

The dumb little voter, forgetting what his mother admonished him, agreed and voted for the politician. He was soon drafted into the army and was killed by “friendly fire” in a bankers’ war in Neverheardofitistan.

The oldest, wisest, most resilient little (non) voter (more a personal anarchist, really) was hard at work selling his wares at the market when the wicked old politician crept up on him.

“Little voter, little vot….,” the thief began.

“Go f@#k yourself!,” replied the wise little anarchist without even looking. The evil politician crept away aghast.

Later the little (non) voter was minding his own business when the dirty wolf of a politician approached him again.

“Excuse me good voter, may I offer…,” he solemnly inquired.

“How do you feel about brass knuckles in your teeth, Jack? Beat it!,” ordered the wise little anarchist. The politician slunk away, rodent style but angry.

The next morning the angry, arrogant, evil, lying, theiving, dirty, rotten, lowdown, no count, good for nothing politician aimed to corner the last little voter at home. He ignored the black flag on the pole and the “I shoot back” bumper sticker as he slithered up to the little (non) voter’s house.

3109LgxG38L._SX300_

Google.

“Little voter, little voter! Vote me in!,” he commanded. “Or I’ll tax, and I’ll regulate, and I’ll make your will bend!,” he howled.

No one ever saw that dastardly old politician again. The bankers replaced him with another shill. As for the happy little anarchist, he’s still minding his own business, a trouble to none, friend to all of good will. He regularly visits his dear mother. He lived happily ever after.

12079587-lovers-sunset

Google.

The end.

The Old Man’s Guide to the Gym

28 Sunday Feb 2016

Posted by perrinlovett in Other Columns

≈ 1 Comment

This one is really for the over forty crowd though any may enjoy it (no promises). Remember when you were young, stupid, but healthy? Remember the gym? One rep then and you were ripped. Your diet consisted of whatever you felt like eating. Fun times, eh?

Now, remember that old man who hobbled around groaning? The dude with his shirt tucked in and yesterday’s sense of style. The man who probably used to be athletic. The dude with the hair growing out of his ears? Yeah, that old man.

That’s you now. Congratulations! You’re old or at least older than you used to be.

You’re in denial, I know. I’m not that guy either. I feel great! Except for when I wake up. And around noon. Afternoon. Evening too. Other than that it’s like twenty years ago.

In honor of us with a few gray hairs I’ve put together a little guide for the gym, a lexicon of sorts. Enjoy!

1044460-Royalty-Free-RF-Clip-Art-Illustration-Of-A-Cartoon-Fit-Senior-Man-Running

Google.

******

Cute college girl at the front desk: she says hello to everyone. It’s her job. Notice she says it, to you, without looking up.

Locker room: yes it seems like a farther walk than it used to. The place to keep your Member’s Only jacket, your keys, and the quart bottle of Bengay.

Scale: the dirtiest liar in the whole joint.

Bench press: the best possible place to stand around talking about how strong you used to be.

Squats: the fastest way to damage your back, your knees, and your pride all at the same time. As an extra, if you split your pants, you and the hospital staff will have something to joke about. HeHe……

Deadlift: the ultimate exercise for destroying everything at once.

Curls: this extra manly lift will tone the guns for an evening of going to bed early. They also provide musical entertainment via the clicks and grinding noises from your wrists and elbows.

Tricep press: the equal opposite of the curl. Really hits the elbows, rotator cuffs, and the vien on your forehead.

Lemme catch my breath…. Writing tired…

Shoulder press: once your best bet for that squared off look, now the easiest way to diagnose bursitis.

Chin up: where you hang in the air and curse.

Rows: need to throw your back out of whack? This is the one.

Shruggs: did your back somehow survive the rows? This’ll do it!

Leg press: like a squat but softer. A little easier on the joints. May require effort to sit down in. May require assistance to get out of.

Leg curl machine: lie down. Strain real hard. Wake up to oxygen in the ambulance.

Hack squats: medieval torture device. Avoid.

Crunches: who are we kidding here?

Stationary bike/treadmill/elliptical: your road to nowhere. Let the sweat pour like rain.

Heavy bag: the brainless, armless, legless opponent who still manages to kick your old ass.

Aerobics class: the candy store where you’re not welcome and you can’t afford it anyway.

The track: where the truly elderly plod around. Patience, young man, patience.

Meathead: he’s in better shape than you but still very nervous in your presence. Knows his day is coming too.

The whimpy kid: some things never change. He’s still younger though.

The hot gym bunny: she really likes talking to you! You remind her of her daddy…

Infernal gym “music”: thank God you’re going deaf.

Inversion table: your saving grace in the gym. Five minutes and you almost feel good. Ten minutes and your back in the ambulance again.

Water fountain: your stealthy nemesis. Always sends you to …

The urinal: home away from home. How’s the old prostate?

Chatty guy in the sauna/steam room: he ain’t your friend.

Ka-Bar hidden in a rolled towel: your friend in the sauna.

Pain: your best friend and constant companion.

Advil: you should have bought their stock.

Your car: where is it? What is it?

The liquor store: it is on the way home after all.

******

I’m here to pump you up! Cheers.

The Saner Side:2016 Libertarian Presidential Politics

28 Sunday Feb 2016

Posted by perrinlovett in Legal/Political Columns

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

America, Constitution, Democrats, election, freedom, government, insanity, Libertarian Party, military, politics, Republicans, standing army, The People, War

By now even a blind and deaf man knows an election is brewing – the stench is overwhelming. The same old stupidity is on display from the two major parties. Under the watchful eye of the globalist banking masters the arrogant entertain the ignorant. Big statements and big promises for small minds. T’was enough to make a fish stare.

Team Democrat is preparing for the coronation of Her Magesty, Qween Hillary. The esteemed Mrs. Clinton soundly defeated the Old Commie Coot in South Carolina. Bernie should count himself lucky he hasn’t been found dead in a state park.

The Republican clown show rolls on. Donald Trump now looks so dominant the corporate handlers are considering a little science fiction in order to keep things interesting until the convention.

In three paragraphs I’ve just given the Republicrats more recognition than they deserve for their collective efforts over the past four decades. In terms of civil society they just don’t matter. Nothing they are or offer favors the free people or the notions of happiness and freedom.

Alternatives do exist, of course, for those still dedicated to the system. The Libertarian Party represents the biggest and best substitute for the lies and deceptions of big two. Theoretically the LP is the only viable option for Constitutional fidelity. It has but two drawbacks. First, at this late hour, it is pointless. Getting 1 – 2% of the popular vote is a lost cause, however noble. Second, the LP stands for organized government, albeit a smaller version. Government is never a good idea and it never stays small – consider our grand experiment of 1776. Still, if I voted, I would probably vote Libertarian.

The LP hosted a debate last night. I didn’t watch and I can’t find (easily) any transcripts. The best I could (easily) come up with is a record from the Massachusetts debate from last November. For laziness sake I’ll just focus on the first question: the role of the President and the roll of America’s military.

For comparison purposes remember that the Dems and the GOP view the military the same way. For them it is both the best way to forcibly advance the financial interests of their masters and the ultimate tool to silence dissent. Dems see it also as a jobs program, Republicans as a jingoistic rallying cry. All of this is fake. The last Republican candidate with any actual military service, Hon. Ron Paul, was effectively ridiculed out of the party.

The libertarian position is different, seeing the military for what it really is – a violent last resort against invasion, with not much legitimate use beyond.

Front-runner Gary Johnson did not attend the Mass. debate. His stance however mirrors those articulated. Also, winning the LP nomination is akin to winning the Par Three contest before the Masters. It’s fun but doesn’t count for the Tournament.

The military role …

Steve Kerbel answered: “As we all know, we should not be the police of the world. As we all know, many of the problems that we’re facing is because we intervened in other country’s sovereignty and so we need to stop doing that. And so, the way we do that with the military is that you start cutting expenses right off the bat.”

He concluded, “So, you know, it takes a reduction. It takes a focused effort. But it has to be towards liberty and staying out of everyone else’s business. That’s the best way to save money.”

The modern military costs A LOT of money. It takes money (from us) to make money for the Banksters (at our expense). Darryl Perry took Kerbel’s reduction concept further:

“In regards to how big should the military be, there should be no standing army. So ultimately, we would get to a U.S. military of zero people.” I’ll wait a second for my Republican readers to put their heads back on …

The standing army concept was greatly feared by the Founders. They wrote and rallied against it. The appropriation text of Article One of the Constitution was drafted to limit the existence of the military. Outside of wartime this is how the Old Republic operated for 150 years. Somehow, except for those wartimes, things were fine.

Marc Feldman continued: “The goal in my administration is to bring power back to the individuals. Admiral Mullen, retired former member of the joint chiefs said that we need to address the number one national security issue for the United States which is our national debt.”

These are all admirable and sane, if unpopular opinions. That, in a nutshell, is the LP – sane but far outside the mainstream. Such opinion is dangerous to the moneychangers. They stand to lose their lifestyle of easy domination if ever freedom and responsibility return to politics. Those who stand to gain the most, the American people, sadly just aren’t that interested.

My interest here is purely academic. For those involved just remember there are always other, better possibilities.

fearthetwoparties_zps8f6f1345

LP.org.

Children Learning: Readers Respond

25 Thursday Feb 2016

Posted by perrinlovett in Other Columns

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Tags

education, Humor

Yesterday’s article on freedom in education garnered quite a bit of commentary. Here are a few thoughts from select readers that I culled from my email, texts, blog comments, etc. I tried to respond to each. I usually shy away from this back and forth but I felt compelled by coffee and allergy medicine this morning.

*******

‘The quality of public education directly impacts shareholders concerned with the school to prison pipeline. I have dedicated my professional career to ensuring the terminal end of the process remains lucrative. Dumb adolescents equal profits.’ – P. Warden, President, Private Prisons, Inc., Atlanta, GA.

Perrin: Remember, Warden, the millstone is better than what’s coming.

‘I was misenharted when Laura readed me you’re story. The children required victory for successes. We did!’ – G.W. Bush, Crawford, TX.

Perrin: Uhhh????…….

‘Consideration of various socio-economic indicators provides conclusive evidence and tacit reinforcement for generalized appropriation towards sustainable feasibility. More importantly, gender, racial, and ableist inequality derives from comprehensive malfeasance within the structural construct of disenfranchised and technonic economy, which, being a product of the patriarchy, is inherently insecure for ambulatory … [This went on for 666 more words…].’

– Chava Finkelstein, Cambridge, MA.

Perrin: You, “lady”, you….millstone…

‘Help! I want to read!’ – Johnny, age 8, Toledo, OH.

Perrin: Drop out now, Johnny.

‘Off topic: Mr. Lovett, your continual comparison of YOUR elected, idiot scum to MY people is a gross and abominable insult! Please discontinue this disgraceful political maligning.’ – M. Mouse, President, American Association of Rodents, Washington, DC.

Perrin: My sincere apologies.

‘Don’t need no school, won’t be no school. Them Cathilicks aughta study from what lord King James wrote. USA! USA!’ – Bubba, Anniston, AL.

Perrin: Bubba, I wrote my article out of concern for you and yourn.

‘I am so very glad that I invented education.’ – A. Gore, Outer Space.

‘you ain fo shit. sckool fo fool.’ – A. Sharpton, NY, NY.

Perrin: I also wrote being concerned for you, Sir.

‘Like I always tell Patrick, when you’re frowning, imagine a happy rainbow.’ – S. Squarepants, Bikini Bottom, Ocean.

‘Your caring, your intellect, and your rugged good looks make me want you so bad.’ – S. Johansson, Hollywood, CA.

Perrin: Call me. Right now.

‘We give them what they need; they give us what we want. Like shooting money in a barrel. Heckle, heckle, you can’t stop the shekel.’ – M. Rothschild, London, UK.

Perrin: Funny you mention shooting.

‘My union rep says we have to right to coffee and donuts in the lounge. My planning time is my Overstock time. Johnny smells and needs a placement plan and Ritalin.’ – Suzy Q., Teacher, San Diego, CA.

‘Why learn when you’re hot? I have money. Jeally?’ – P. Hilton, Beverly Hills, CA.

Perrin: Yeah… Aaaand, no.

‘Socrates, Aquinas and I want to know what the hell happened! Water the tree, for God’s sake!’ – T. Jefferson, Heaven.

Perrin: Working on it, Mr. President.

Google.

Is Our Children Learning?

24 Wednesday Feb 2016

Posted by perrinlovett in Legal/Political Columns, News and Notes

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

America, children, education, freedom, government, history, politicians, schools, Sin, society, The People

“Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?” So inquired President select, George W. Bush to a crowd in Florence, South Carolina, January 11, 2000. The politicians obviously are not learning. But is … are the children? A new international study doesn’t look too good for youngsters in America. The study is massive, 384 page PDF download but here it is.

The 2015/16 Index of Freedom of Education concentrates on the availability of “non-govermental” education. The rankings are deeply hidden, starting on page 315. The mighty United States, which ever one knows is the freest place on Earth, is in a tie with Hungary for 17th place. Who knew Hungary was the co-freest place on the planet.

This study is concerned with educational opportunities outside of the mainstream of “public” “schooling.” That would include private schools, charters,community, parochial, family schools, tutoring and home schooling. Most global education studies center on proficiency in one or more subjects. The U.S. does poorly in those too. I didn’t bother to look up any of those. Just Google, “where does America place in … reading, math, science, etc.” and you will be unpleasantly surprised as to just how poorly our schools do in any given field. I think we place outside of the top 20 in just about any category. Frequently American students are the only ones who can’t find America on a map. They also have trouble spelling “America” and can’t count high enough to cover all 50 States. The problem runs from elementary school through high school and even to the university level.

StateLibQld_1_141227_Interior_of_a_school_room_at_Postmans_Ridge_in_the_Helidon_district,_ca._1902

Might as well be Harvard today. Google.

As for free choice in education, the Catholic Register sees a worldwide issue.:

Each country’s ranking depends on four differently weighted factors: the legal possibility to create and manage a non-governmental school; whether it is publicly funded, and if so, which pre-specified costs that funding covers; the net enrollment rate of primary education; and finally, the enrollment rate in non-governmental schools as a percentage of total primary education.

Ireland came in at number one. Were it not for American homeschooling, which typically ranks highest in any rankings, the U.S. would have come in worse than 17th. Most students in America are forced to suffer twelve plus years of prison-like “public” indoctrination. After all that many cannot read. Most that can read only at a 5th grade level.

The Register gets it:

Thomas Jefferson over two centuries earlier:

It is better to tolerate the rare instance of a parent refusing to let his child be educated, than to shock the common feelings and ideas by the forcible transportation and education of the infant against the will of the father.

And perhaps a little more surprisingly, with this Jeffersonian affirmation by the Democratic Party National Platform, which declared (as late as 1892):

We are opposed to state interference with parental rights and rights of conscience in the education of children as an infringement of the fundamental Democratic doctrine that the largest individual liberty consistent with the rights of others insures the highest type of American citizenship and the best government.

How times change!

For most of human history, prior to the twentieth century, children were either educated at home, in church, or in small and independent local schools. Many never made it past what we would call the 5th grade but at least they could read (without wasting seven more years). What changed?

During the late 1800s, as larger and more complex government was beginning to grow like kudzu, and as the industrial revolution was taking off, business and state leaders saw an opportunity. They institutionalized education in order to control what was taught and, ultimately, to control society. To paraphrase George Carlin they wanted obiediant workers just smart enough to fill out the forms and run the machines and just dumb enough to keep taking the status quo. That’s exactly what they got.

Today schools, especially in America, what little or nothing to do with education. They raise children into subservient adults who will pay taxes, watch television, and look forward to social security. It’s not just the schools.

Almost all children are bright and inquisitive by nature. They want to learn. Learning is fun. They question everything. How many times has your child asked you, “why?” You did that too, if you recall. Then sadly, after just a few years, most start to turn into zombies.

Ours is a silly culture where people start absentmindedly at screens most of the waking hours. It’s a sick and dying culture where every form of sin is on display and openly celebrated. Many parents cannot educate their own children because they themselves are not educated. Their too busy with triviality anyway.

Enter the government. How convenient that benevolent old Georgia or California or New York offers free daycare and schooling for the kids. We get what we pay for. It costs nothing and it is worth nothing.

Those government schools waste so much time taking attendance, monitoring water fountains, locking down for nothing, promoting football and other bullshit it is no wonder they can’t teach Johnny to read. He doesn’t need to read to work for corporation X, sit in prison, or collect welfare. It’s part of the plan.

There are plenty of exceptions but they are just that – good apples in a rotten lot. Given the wicked nature of the system, there is no point in reforming it. Reform after useless reform is constantly foisted on the dumbed down public: Deweyism, the Frankfurt school, the new school, charter schools, head start, no child left behind, common core. None of it works.

Abolishing government schools entirely would be a good start but only a start. The whole state needs to be abolished so people can be free to spend their time and money with their children effectively. Those who care will have to step in and step up to do the teaching. Fortunately, with modern technology, this is easier than ever before. A free, world class education is readily available online for any who want it – from phonics to calculus.

Have you heard any of the morons running for president talk about this? Of course not. They may pay lip service to education but they will continue to keep things as they are.

We as adults must change. People must stop wasting time chasing raises, getting tattoos, watching television and loafing around. Spend time with your children. Show them by example what decent educated people do with their lives.

The alternative we are experiencing has nearly destroyed is. We have sacrificed multiple generations on the alter of statism. This is a sin worthy of the millstone. When will we learn?

No Place Like Home: A Ranking of the Best (Big) Cities in the World

23 Tuesday Feb 2016

Posted by perrinlovett in News and Notes

≈ 1 Comment

Everyone loves a list as long as it’s not things that have to be done. If it’s a list of rankings, folks like to see if and where they place. Today we have the 18th annual Mercer Quality of Life list of global cities as reported by the UK Dailymail.

I’m fascinated by this compilation and a little suspicious of it at the same time. The top ten slots are 70% European. The U.S. lags behind, with San Francisco coming in at no. 28. The methodology behind the rankings was based on the relevant safety of business travel. Local governments will go out of their way to keep money flowing in. Also, many larger cities may have built up a good corporate environment in spite of problems locals have to deal with. Thus, a city may rank higher than one would think based on its quality of life for its everyday residents.

Vienna, Zurich, and Auckland (1, 2 and 3) are fantastic places. However, many of those European cities in the top ten and top 100 have been experiencing major problems in the past few years due to mass invasion (some say migration but that’s not accurate) and related Islamic terrorism.

Paris and Lyon are 37 and 38, respectively. Twice last year Paris suffered serious attacks by ISIS. The French capital is still under a state of emergency. Crime is getting so bad in many cities the police are abandoning their patrols – even the fearsome German Polizi. Not completely cowed by their insane leaders, European men are beginning to resist. Groups like the Sons of Odin are rapidly gaining popularity and are “filling in” for the police when trouble arises. The people of Europe, never a crowd to ultimately tolerate invasion very well, are reaching the breaking point.

Governments are about to change. The EU itself may be dramatically reformed or abolished. Even the popular press is beginning to call things what they are. One of Poland’s largest magazines, wSieci (The Network), just featured a cover story, The Islamic Rape if Europe. The last time ordinary Poles expressed this much solidarity with Germany the subject was Danzig and the results were far from peaceful. Makes you wonder if business travel experts study history.

wSieci-Islamic-rape-europe-2

wSieci, Feb., 2016.

San Francisco, London, Paris, New York, etc. are fine, world class cities. However, I noticed a lot of contenders with serious problems – like crime. Chicago is just ahead of New York on the list despite being on pace to double its already sky high murder rate this year. Houston, Miami and Atlanta are grouped together in the 60s. Again, they’re fine places but they have parts one wouldn’t want to walk through and driving in all three can be a nightmare. Businesses in Atlanta are starting to require employees to carry guns.

Detroit, tied with Hong Kong for no. 70, caught my eye. There is still a lot of major business in the motor city but not much else. Where else in America can one purchase a house for $1? If that house collapses in a newly grown forest and no one is around to sell drugs, is it still a ghetto?

The list gets downright laughable. Tripoli, Damascus, Khartoum, and Baghdad and others listed are active war zones. Granted these are at the bottom of the list but, still, numerous decent places go unmentioned. It makes you wonder if business travel experts read the news.

The whole list:

1 Vienna, Austria

2 Zurich, Switzerland

3 Auckland, New Zealand

4 Munich, Germany

5 Vancouver, Canada

6 Dusseldorf, Germany

7 Frankfurt, Germany

8 Geneva, Switzerland

9 Copenhagen, Denmark

10 Sydney, Australia

11 Amsterdam, Netherlands

12 Wellington, New Zealand

13 Berlin, Germany

14 Bern, Switzerland

15 Toronto, Canada

16 Melbourne, Australia

17 Ottawa, Canada

18 Hamburg, Germany

19 Luxembourg, Luxembourg

20 Stockholm, Sweden

21 Brussels, Belgium

22 Perth, Australia

23 Montreal, Canada

24 Stuttgart, Germany

25 Nurnberg, Germany

26 Singapore, Singapore

27 Adelaide, Australia

28 San Francisco, United States

29 Canberra, Australia

30 Helsinki, Finland

31 Oslo, Norway

32 Calgary, Canada

33 Dublin, Ireland

34 Boston, United States

35 Honolulu, United States

36 Brisbane, Australia

37 Paris, France

38 Lyon, France

39 Barcelona, Spain

39 London, United Kingdom

41 Milan, Italy

42 Lisbon, Portugal

43 Chicago, United States

44 New York City, United States

44 Tokyo, Japan

46 Edinburgh, United Kingdom

46 Kobe, Japan

46 Seattle, United States

49 Los Angeles, United States

49 Yokohama, Japan

51 Washington, United States

52 Madrid, Spain

53 Birmingham, United Kingdom

53 Rome, Italy

55 Glasgow, United Kingdom

56 Pittsburgh, United States

57 Philadelphia, United States

58 Osaka, Japan

59 Aberdeen, United Kingdom

60 Leipzig, Germany

61 Minneapolis, United States

62 Nagoya, Japan

63 Dallas, United States

64 Belfast, United Kingdom

65 Houston, United States

66 Miami, United States

67 Atlanta, United States

68 St. Louis, United States

69 Prague, Czech Republic

70 Detroit, United States

70 Hong Kong

72 Pointe-a-Pitre, Guadeloupe

73 Seoul, South Korea

74 San Juan, Puerto Rico

75 Dubai, United Arab Emirates

76 Ljubljana, Slovenia

77 Budapest, Hungary

78 Montevideo, Uruguay

79 Vilnius, Lithuania

79 Warsaw, Poland

81 Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates

82 Bratislava, Slovakia

83 Port Louis, Mauritius

84 Taipei, Taiwan

85 Durban, South Africa

86 Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

87 Athens, Greece

88 Limassol, Cyprus

89 Tallinn, Estonia

90 Riga, Latvia

91 Busan, South Korea

92 Cape Town, South Africa

93 Buenos Aires, Argentina

94 Santiago, Chile

95 Johannesburg, South Africa

96 Panama City, Panama

97 Victoria, Seychelles

98 Zagreb, Croatia

99 Wroclaw, Poland

100 Taichung, Taiwan

101 Shanghai, China

102 Bandar Seri Begawan, Brunei

103 Johor Bahru, Malaysia

104 Tel Aviv, Israel

105 San Jose, Costa Rica

106 Brasilia, Brazil

107 Muscat, Oman

108 Monterrey, Mexico

109 Bucharest, Romania

110 Doha, Qatar

111 Noumea, New Caledonia

112 Nassau, Bahamas

113 Tunis, Tunisia

114 Asuncion, Paraguay

115 Sofia, Bulgaria

116 Rabat, Morocco

117 Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

118 Beijing, China

119 Guangzhou, China

120 Amman, Jordan

121 Sao Paulo, Brazil

122 Istanbul, Turkey

123 Lima, Peru

124 Kuwait City, Kuwait

125 Manaus, Brazil

126 Casablanca, Morocco

127 Mexico City, Mexico

128 Quito, Ecuador

129 Bangkok, Thailand

130 Bogota, Colombia

131 Windhoek, Namibia

132 Colombo, Sri Lanka

133 Manama, Bahrain

134 Chengdu, China

135 Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic

136 Manila, Philippines

137 Nanjing, China

137 Shenzhen, China

139 Hyderabad, India

139 Xi’an, China

141 Belgrade, Serbia

142 Jakarta, Indonesia

142 Gaborone, Botswana

144 Pune, India

145 Bangalore, India

146 Chongqing, China

147 Port of Spain, Trinidad and Tobago

147 Qingdao, China

149 Lusaka, Zambia

150 Chennai, India

151 Kingston, Jamaica

152 Guatemala City, Guatemala

152 Mumbai, India

152 Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam

155 Hanoi, Vietnam

156 La Paz, Bolivia

157 Shenyang, China

158 Sarajevo, Bosnia-Herzegovina

159 Skopje, Macedonia

160 Kolkata, India

161 New Delhi, India

162 Dakar, Senegal

163 Libreville, Gabon

164 Riyadh, Saudi Arabia

165 Jeddah, Saudi Arabia

166 Accra, Ghana

167 Moscow, Russia

168 Jilin, China

169 Kampala, Uganda

170 Vientiane, Laos

171 Cairo, Egypt

172 Managua, Nicaragua

173 San Salvador, El Salvador

174 Saint Petersburg, Russia

175 Blantyre, Malawi

176 Almaty, Kazakhstan

176 Kiev, Ukraine

178 Maputo, Mozambique

179 Tirana, Albania

180 Beirut, Lebanon

181 Cotonou, Benin

182 Yerevan, Armenia

183 Banjul, Gambia

184 Nairobi, Kenya

185 Caracas, Venezuela

186 Tegucigalpa, Honduras

187 Algiers, Algeria

188 Tbilisi, Georgia

189 Djibouti, Djibouti

190 Minsk, Belarus

191 Kigali, Rwanda

191 Havana, Cuba

193 Islamabad, Pakistan

194 Yaounde, Cameroon

195 Phnom Penh, Cambodia

196 Douala, Cameroon

197 Baku, Azerbaijan

198 Dar es Salaam, Tanzania

199 Lahore, Pakistan

199 Luanda, Angola

201 Yangon, Myanmar

202 Karachi, Pakistan

203 Tehran, Iran

204 Lome, Togo

205 Tashkent, Uzbekistan

206 Abidjan, Côte d’Ivoire

207 Addis Ababa, Ethiopia

208 Ashkhabad, Turkmenistan

209 Harare, Zimbabwe

210 Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan

211 Lagos, Nigeria

212 Abuja, Nigeria

212 Dushanbe, Tajikistan

214 Dhaka, Bangladesh

215 Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso

216 Tripoli, Libya

217 Niamey, Niger

218 Antananarivo, Madagascar

219 Bamako, Mali

220 Nouakchott, Mauritania

221 Conakry, Guinea

222 Kinshasa, Congo, Democratic Republic of

223 Brazzaville, Congo, Republic of

224 Damascus, Syria

225 N’Djamena, Chad

226 Khartoum, Sudan

227 Port-au-Prince, Haiti

228 Sana’a, Yemen

229 Bangui, Central African Republic

230 Baghdad, Iraq

– Dailymail.

I hope your city fared well and you fare well in it. Maybe these are just numbers. There’s no place like home; know your place, home.

Avo After Dark

22 Monday Feb 2016

Posted by perrinlovett in Other Columns

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Avo, cigars

My palate is in flux! The other day I reminisced about the Avo No. 2, a fine if exceedingly mild cigar. I’m still shying away from the usual 2-pound Nicaraguan dirt clods though I don’t know why.

Anywho … tonight I settled in for an Avo of a darker variety – a Domaine maduro.

Perrin Lovett.

Yes, dark like the rainy, mild but humid winter evening I found out of doors. I paired mine with a Sweetwater Festive Ale, a delightful ass kicker of a winter seasonal. Fitting, my first dark Avo in a year or more with what may be my last dark “holiday” ale until October. The match was nearly perfect. As an extra odd aside, David Lee Roth’s 1987-1988 Just Like Paradise was playing in my head. Hmmm…

Whereas the old No. 2 is smooth as glass and as inoffensive as Mr. Rogers, the Domaine is just as smooth but with a subdued earthiness and with more discernable independent notes.

The Domaine burns and draws as evenly, effortlessly and consistently as its milder cousin. I did notice that the ash tends to Pac-Man open at first. This generally indicates humidity issues or leaf control problems with a given stick. I consider this a minor issue especially, as here, when the event tapers after the first flicking. After that the Domaine burned “well” compared to the No. 2’s “flawless.” It was more than good enough for me.

I say it burned evenly and I mean it. It did. However, I did note a somewhat discombobulated, puffy ash. This could relate to the tobacco or my smoking conditions – I cannot fault my tobacconist, who keeps a damn near perfect 70/70 all around.

For me the most important aspect of any stick is its taste. This dark, well formed beauty tasted great! I believe she is of mainly Dominican ancestry with a Ecuadorian wrapper. I nearly had my fill of that dirty, earthy, wood smoke I crave in mass quantities. As I said, this flavor is understated, like an unusually powerful but silky Cuban.

I’ve read that some detect a “buttery” as opposed to “creamy” note in the Domaine. I still do not know what that means – no dairy science here – but I will go along. There is an underlying difference, beyond the earthiness, a heavier silk note without any pepper. In a word the taste is “fantastic.”

As a general rule I still will lean towards the soil of the continent and it’s unique, near-rotten aroma. Still, this islander has a place in my humidor and my heart. Another Avo classic if by taste but not name.

Perrin Lovett.

Happy smoking from the darker side of mild.

Why? Many Questions, Few Answers

21 Sunday Feb 2016

Posted by perrinlovett in Other Columns

≈ 1 Comment

Why does working out make me feel as bad as bidge drinking?

Why are so many fooled by the same old crap every election?

Why, in such a fascinating world, do people watch so much television?

Why do cute, young girls sport those shoulder tattoos?

Why do certain tattoos, on certain parts of certain women turn me on?

Google.

Why the entitlement mentality?

Why is baseball so darned slow?

Why are they making football like baseball?

Why don’t we have Masters week twice a year?

Why can’t slow drivers move over to the right? Seriously. That circle thing in front of you actually steers the car.

Why is the good ale so high calorie and high in sugar?

Why do I attract crazies?

Why don’t I already live in a remote cabin in the mountains?

Why don’t you stop reading here, go to Amazon, and order 25 copies of The Happy Little Cigar Book? Or 50? As many as the card will allow. Use a second card. Or a third.

Why isn’t Cigar smoking the national pastime?

Why don’t men carry pocket knives and handkerchiefs anymore?

Why to grossly obese (fat) people where revealing clothes?

Why do I love peace and yet prepare for war? A paradox? Perrindox?

Why do people literally worship government?

Why do comic books and pop lyrics contain so much truth but “news” programs so little?

Why does it always rain after I wash my car? On a dirt road?

Why do so many pickup truck drivers think they’re in a drunken version of The Dukes of Hazzard?

Why am I so slow and lazy?

Why the hemispherical difference in toilet flush rotation?

Why are good guys attracted to bad girls attracted to bad guys? Why is “bad” superficial? What happened to the good girls? Again, why me and the crazies?

Why was my dad right about just about everything?

Why is the West committing suicide?

Why do people invest so much time and effort in being miserable?

Why do they call it the EARNED Income Tax Credit?

Why is my daughter so much smarter than me?

Why, again, did we rebel against King George?

Why do all (almost all) the people tolerate the domination of a tiny sect of impotent weaklings?

Why do I always forget the hot sauce?

Why do Gurkha wrappers always crack? I get the pretty factor. Such a waste of fine tobacco.

Why can’t we have free banking on a gold standard? Or any standard?

Why do good rockers die young but senators seem to live forever?

Why the obsession with antlers given younger does taste better?

Why is Windows still popular?

Why do hours linger while years are fleeting?

Why do the women I went to school with still look so much better than the men? Really, fellows, invest in a personal trainer and a wig or something.

Why can’t the hot girls consistently jog along the river when I’m there?

Why is H&K synonymous with expensive?

Why does my shoulder hurt? Neck? Knees?

Why do I feel worse when I wake up than when I went to bed?

Why can’t we do better than Bush and Clinton? These names are in the thesaurus together under “has-been.”

Why can’t I buy a Cuban at my local shop? A Bolivar Bellicoso Fino.

Why the saggy, baggy pants? You’re not impressing anyone and you can’t run when needed.

Why do so many irrationally fear animals?

Why are churches usually full of hypocritical, self-righteous sinners?

Why so many vacuous holidays, America?

Why can’t I instantly teleport from here to the beach or the mountains or visa versa? Must I wait until the 23td century?

Why yack on the phone when you have nothing to say?

Why Don Hendley and David Bowie and not, say, Diane Feinstein and Harry Reid?

Why pay taxes?

Why so serious?

Why 300 “likes” for a picture of a cat eating oatmeal and only 2 for truth about the Federal Reserve?

Why do babies instinctively cry around politicians, adults fawn like retarded lemmings?

Why can’t I find a super hot, sane, athletic, untattooed, educated, big boobed 22 year old chick, both mute and a government hating, free thinking, gun, cigar, and booze loving nenphomaniac with a generous trust fund from a small yet gentrified hill town? Yeah, picky, I know.

Why don’t I stop here?

Why can’t they run Sunday style comics all week?

Why did it take so long to fire Mark Ritch?

Why can’t the IRS explain that last penalty in my payment plan?

Why the IRS at all?

Why do fat, ugly, unwashed, poorly dressed idiots with 14 loud children flock to buffets and popular chain restaurants?

Why is it sugar kills more people than marijuana but one is legal, the other a controlled substance?

Why is it others get sick to the point of death and I merely feel tired for a day?

Why are people afraid to walk the streets at night but eagerly step into the voting booths?

Why my consistent bad form with a left cross? I have a pinky cut!

Why is gravity heavier near the free weights?

Why, or how, does the deadlift bar cut my shins through knee-high socks AND sweat pants?!

Why, never mind…

Why do handicapped drivers always drive so … handicapped?

Why can’t the black lives matter and the white right crowds see that they have so much in common, so few differences, and a common, deadly enemy?

Why are there no manly greeting cards?

Why aren’t those reality shows real?

Why, how, are American child custody laws in synch with equal protection?

Why do I crave the cheeseburger?

Why don’t humans learn from history?

Why the overriding desire to appear so GD stupid?

Why the 38 piercings in his head?

Why are the conspiracy theories always vindicated? And yet still considered conspiracy theories?

Why is snowboarding impossibly hard for me? Fresh powder, half of a half of Jack – what keeps going wrong?

Why twelve grades?

Why are modern movies so horrid yet so popular?

Why don’t folks get the concept of inflation?

Why have a Congress when criminals are to be found in any and every town?

Why the cheap garbage at eye level?

Why do men carry umbrellas? Hats and coats, gentlemen.

Why does life exist outside a beaurocracy?

Why not security secured by freedom?

Why not both Mary Ann and Ginger?

Why have you read so far? Go buy my books!

Exile of Justice: Snowden Offers to Return for Fair Trial

21 Sunday Feb 2016

Posted by perrinlovett in Legal/Political Columns

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

America, Constitution, corruption, Courts, crime, DOJ, due process, Edward Snowden, Fifth Amendment, freedom, government, jury, justice, law, NSA, Sixth Amendment, The People

Three years ago Edward Snowden worked as a contractor for the National Security Agency. Alarmed by the NSA’s massive invasion of privacy and violation of civil liberties he leaked thousands of pages of classified information about the program to the public. His revelations were really nothing new; anyone with both eyes open could have learned the truth about the spy agency’s sinister agenda nearly twenty years earlier. They watch and listen to everything and everyone constantly. It’s conceivable that even as I type this article an NSA computer is dissecting it. Certainly within minutes of my official posting the electronic analysis will be completed. The whole thing will be archived. If the computer senses a threat, I will be passed on to human analysts.

Most of these people spend their days on Facebook or playing video games. Usually they miss alerts. That’s good when it comes to dissenting bloggers, bad when it’s ISIS. However, if a human verfies a possible threat, an investigation may ensue.

Again, if the danger is real and the investigative methods legal, it is a good system. There are plenty of real bad guys out there. As for the method, most electronic gathering is accomplished via open air interception. Anyone with a good enough scanner can capture a host of free floating transmissions. If you want your communication secure, either encrypt it, mask it, or don’t transmit it.

Snowden discovered that when open intercepts aren’t enough the government will illegally wiretap and spy as necessary. The illegality comes from a lack of warrant, lack of probable cause, and a total absence of oversight.

Acting as a whistleblower he disclosed this scheme to the public. As thanks the American redneckery and law and order, evangelical types branded him a traitor; the government declared him a fugitive. He now lives somewhere in Russia.

His choice of refuge turns geo-politics on its head. Thirty years ago Russia was a communist dictatorship that kept the people in line through spying and intimidation. Back then America was a freer country, a proud defender of the rights of the citizenry. Things change.

Snowden faces prosecution and assured imprisonment for decades should he return home. Yesterday, via video, he told a group of New Hampshire based libertarians he is willing to come back and face the music – conditionally. “I’ve told the government I would return if they would guarantee a fair trial where I can make a public interest defense of why this was done and allow a jury to decide,” he said.

lady-justice1

Google.

The whole affair is pointless to begin with. Three years later nothing has changed. No tangible evidence of damage to national security has manifested due to the leaks. Another holder of classified information, who leaked the same, is a leading contender for President. The people, most of them, never heard Snowdon’s warning in the first place. Those that heard forgot having more important things to attend – television, tattoos, football, etc. The NH libertarians are part of the .003% that get it. They represent a statistical outlier, an anomaly not worthy of official consideration. The NSA spies on, unhindered.

If Snowden ever returns and is prosecuted, he WILL NOT receive a fair trial. Such things simply do not happen in 21st century America. In fact, the American courtroom is the last place one should expect to find justice. No one gets a fair trial. Most don’t get a trial period. Snowden knows this. Thus, he lives abroad.

He and his attorneys have explored a plea deal with the feds. Most criminal cases end in pleas rather than trials. This is because people understand the system is so corrupt, it is usually better to accept a shorter jail term by coping to lesser charges. There have been exceptions. I recall a woman in Alabama who, faced with criminal tax charges, took the IRS to court and won. James Trafficant did the same thing in the 1980s. Both were plain lucky.

Snowden is looking for something different. He asks that his trial be conducted according to the Constitution. The Sixth Amendment requires: “In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury … to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for his defence.” It mandates due process of law. That will not happen.

The particular charges are tantamount to Treason, one of the three specifically enumerated crimes in Article One of the Constitution. I’ll give the government that solid ground.

An indictment against Snowden has already been issued by a federal grand jury. Such juries used to be an independent check on prosecutorial misconduct. Today they merely indict as ordered by the U.S. Attorney, being no more than a tool of the DOJ. Defendants do not have a say in the process and the government can present any information, true or false (frequently lies) anyway it wants. Thus, fairness has already been compromised.

The Fifth Amendment mandates Due Process and prohibits double jeopardy. Rest assured that if, by odd chance, Snowden beat the charges, the government could then charge him with something else. Or, they could declare him a material witness, enemy combatant, material witness enemy, leprechaun or any other term(S) they make up and just imprison him. Just because they can. They could also just kill him without pretense or explanation. Just because.

In between the grand jury’s lapdogging and the double jeopardy potentially lies the trial. At trial the government controls everything. They get to present any type of evidence they like, often as a surprise to the defense. The defense is discouraged from attacking said evidence even when it is demonstrably false. The judge will move heaven and earth to keep defense friendly information out of the show. Occasionally defendants try to put the government on trial too. Judges, being government agents themselves, try to stop this. Remember, Snowden could bring in thousands of pages of documents damaging to the state. His ultimate argument could be that even if he technically broke the law, he only did so to expose worse behavior by the feds, thus he is really innocent and should be acquitted.

Such argument leads to potential jury nullification of the specific law as applied to a specific defendant. This is not a theory but an ancient design, a final check against corruption where the entirety of the legal and factual circumstances are left to the enlightened determination of the jury. Judges will defy the laws of physics to try to stop this from happening.

Then there’s the jury itself. Ages ago juries were a collection of intelligent men who were peers of, actual friends of the defendant. Being his friends and knowing his character they could weigh the presented evidence against their knowledge, thereby forming a reasonable judgement.

Today elaborate safeguards are in place to ensure jurors have never heard of the defendant let alone be his friends. The government wants dumb submissive jurors who will easily go along with what they’re told. Modern society makes this a given. A jury is usually nothing more than twelve stupid, poorly dressed, uninterested saps who may just as well be assembled of random midnight Wal-Mart shoppers.

This is the program to which Snowden would return. Sad, yes. Comical, perhaps. Fair? Anything but. Luckily, modern Russia is a pretty nice place.