You have answers, I have questions.  You have questions, I have comments.  In the tradition of Fire Hat…

I want to give my white man’s perspective on basketball: “Who cares?”

Kim Jong Unbalenced has kindly offered to bomb D.C.  We should get him a fruit basket or something.

The more television channels, the less shows worth watching.

If not for politicians and banksters, who would rats and roaches look down upon?

Since they can drive and talk on the phone at the same time, why can’t people drive and use turn signals concurrently?

Aside from the Brady Center and mental inpatients, does Piers Morgan have an audience?

Imperial and Georgian forces have raided the property of the FPSRussia guy – don’t post yourself with guns on Youtube.

When are the next parliamentary elections in Cyprus?

Why are banks still standing in Cyprus?

Considering that almost every town has a thief and maybe a murderer, why do we still need governments?

Given that almost every town has that thief, why do we still need banks?

Any bets on when Justin Bieber goes John Belushi on us?

Why can’t Augusta have the Masters Tournament 51 weeks out of the year?  Seems to work for baseball, basketball, and Nascar.

Why are gay people upset about laws banning them from committing marriage?

Women take bicycles fishing? Huh?

If a law falls in the forest and there’s no judge around to opine, can law professors still think?

How come a grocery store in a neighborhood where everyone has EBT cards can’t make it financially?

Why do those EBT cardees need food handouts?

When the above-grocery store in Augusta, GA went out of business, the Sheriff refused to give the excess food to the gathered crowd of hundreds.  He said they were too fat as is.  The new Sheriff is an observant man.

Scientists predict 104% of the American population will be morbidly obese by 2022.

Why do “Christians” lust for war, real or imaginary?

Lindsay Lohan is starring in Charlie Sheen’s TV show; local liquor stores report record sales.

How does unemployment rise in an economic recovery?

If he government wants to ban guns, why don’t they ditch theirs and lead by example?

By around 2020 the ADA will have to be revised to mandate each parking lot set aside one or spaces in the rear for “normals.”

Ben Bernanke has secured a patent on a warp-drive powered printing press; rejoice!

If alive today Thomas Jefferson would hang his head, sail back to England, and beg the Queen for clemency.

Officials in Anniston, Alabama announced yesterday that the last factory in America closed.

I applaud Barack Obama’s vacation schedule; he works hard and needs a tan.

If Lindsey Graham joined the Communist Party, would anyone notice?

Are there any brown people left on earth the U.S. has not bombed lately?

Is not being disabled a disability these days?

After more than forty seasons, Sesame Street is set to replace Oscar the Grouch with Michael Bloomberg after the good mayor retires.

Steve Martin has agreed to reprise the role of The Jerk next year in a tribute to Bloomberg.

How does one go about getting the job of body painting Kate Upton?

In an effort to allow banks to raid more of your cash, Congress has introduced legislation to place mattresses and mason jars under Federal Reserve control.

Is there any truth to the rumor Dianne Feinstein will play the Wicked Which of the West’s ugly, controlling grandmother?

Why do we have Cuban baseball players but not cigars?

Next year when everyone in America becomes unemployed or disabled, who will pay the taxes?

Several illegal immigrants went home disgusted with America this week, after climbing over the fence only to discover the hideous presence of Chuck Schumer and John McCain.  What has the world come to?

Angry armed citizens arrested the corrupt local police in a Mexican town this week; Americans are weak, fat, and stupid.

If Patrick Henry were alive today, he would kick McCain and Schumer in their heads before jumping the fence to Mexico.

Now we know why Lindsey Vonn winces when the idiots scream, “Get in the hole!”

If the 1911 had never been invented, what would American Rifleman report on?

Pharmaceutical companies make money drugging our children; school shootings are their advertisements.

Reading, Riting, and Ritalin, why can’t Johnny aim without the jitters?

All roaches, flies, and spiders have departed the Capital in protest over adverse working conditions.

If global warming is measured by pollen, we’re screwed.

Monsanto owns your CongressCritter, b***hes!

Poor Janet Napolitano has never been on a date.

God called and stated he would rescind his promise against future floods if another Bush runs for President.

Clinton made Bush look good; Bush made Clinton look good; Obama made Bush look good.  Another Bush followed by another Clinton followed by a catastrophic asteroid collision will made Washington look good.

Does Bashar al-Assad shop at Saddam Hussein’s old yellow cake retailer?  Mr. Powell?

Marine biologists have discovered bankers are all descended from a common sea slug, the Thievish Filtha-sluggis.

Jesse Jackson is upset, again.

The Capital One Vikings have all filed successfully for SSI.

Jim Carrey needs an enema.

Michael Moore was ticketed from breaking a truck-stop scale during his last weigh-in.

Does Osama Bin Laden’s family receive his CIA retirement?

Which childhood classic will Disney destroy next?

Pope Francis will be in Washington next week to wash the feet of more felons.

All six adult American men who don’t play video games met for the first time at a Knoxville Waffle House last week; we had a good time.

Following their recent success in finding the “God particle,” physicists are proud to announce they have discovered the “Satan particle;” it will be formally known as the “Bush,” “Clinton,” or “Feinstein” particle once the dust settles.

The Rothschilds endorsed the American slob as the State Bird of the New World Order.

What’s the difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead politician in the road?  The politician still wants your money.

The correct greeting for a bankster or politician is, “Go BACK to hell!”