Tag Archives: stupid

Rescheduled TPC Article: Secrets of History

08 Monday Jul 2019

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*Note: The following was going to be this week’s TPC column. However, due to developments in the pizza Epstein case, I decided to run with that. I’ll link to the following in the new bit, which should come out in a day or two.

 

Revealed: Secrets of American History

 

No. 17: Donald Trump and the Ancient American Airports

Okay. Independence Day, like the namesake, has passed us by. I assume many of you are still reeling from all that barbeque and booze, er … freedom, so I’ll keep this light and easy.

Once again, it’s time for another installment of the old fan favorite CFF segment on the unknown side of American history. Here, I invite even non-American “citizens” of the United States Empire to participate – it’s just plain fun for everyone.

A little known fact, though not our primary lesson today, is that Brother Donald “MAGA 45” Trump and I are both 39 and ⅓ degree Masons. Due to his honorable elected status, he may add the additional title of “Grandiest Exonerated Schlemiel” whereas I simply answer to “Perrin the Most Somewhat-Free Mason Extraordinary of the Grandiose Order of the Holy Wirt of the Cause Celebre Cosmopolitan, Temple of the Ancient Wisdom and Something Else I Can Never Remember, Lord Knight and Night Defender, 39.33334.” (By the way, y’all: to be one, ask Donald).

Anyhow, as members of a secret level within a secret order, one of the great things we do is keep secrets. And, Donald, keeping a secret means NOT TELLING THE WHOLE DAMNED WORLD ABOUT IT!

I had heard that my fellow Exultant Potato planned a Yuuuge speech, rally, and show of military farce for the holiday. I paid little heed except for quipping that the heavy armor and gunships might be better deployed South in an effort to arrest the largest invasion in recorded human history. But, hey, what do I know?

None of it did I watch, and I would have completely written the whole thing off …. But! But, someone brought to my attention a SNAFU whereby one of those secrets was inadvertently revealed by the Carnival Barker in Chief, to wit:

“The Continental Army suffered a bitter winter of Valley Forge, found glory across the waters of the Delaware and seized victory from Cornwallis of Yorktown. Our army manned the air, it rammed the ramparts, it took over the airports, it did everything it had to do, and at Fort McHenry, under the rocket’s red glare, it had nothing but victory.”

-Bro. Donnie JT, praising the Continentals, circa 1775-1783 AD…

The New York Times, CNN, FOX, etc. had a field day with the idea that Washington and Co. “took over the airports” from the British. Bro Orange Man blamed a television or that mean old Army man from Forrest Gump or something. Tweets and Grams and whatnot flowed.

Now, the task has fallen to me to set straight this seemingly improbable anachronism…

Yes. America did, in fact, have an airport in the late Eighteenth Century. Technically, we had three of them, they just never got around to putting up a windsock down in Wilmington. The one Donald was foolishly talking about was located where stinks now present-day DC. And, it was at least one-hundred years old by the time of the Revolution.

The unpaved, though well-compacted and level runway was 6,666 feet long. It was built kind of across from where Reagan National is today, with its Northern approach terminating about where TJ’s Memorial currently sinks into the Potomac Tidal Basin. The spot was chosen because it was assumed that nobody would ever want to go near such a God-forsaken swamp. George II once remarked of the project and its mistakenly assumed permanent secrecy: “Heavens! Eveneth the savage red men goeth not there!” Were that it had stayed that way…

It’s not that the Colonials or the British had airplanes – they did not. Rather, the British, sometime during the mid-1600s, had the forethought to build airstrips in the event that self-propelled flying machines were re-invented sometime in the future. They choose remote locations in America so as not to arouse public suspicion. That, and I think they had some DOT budget to burn up. Spend it or lose it, right?

The whole scheme was the dying legacy of the last scientist of the Nuwaubian Moorish True Black Africans™ of Israeli Egypt. Previously cryo-frozen by the Romans, he was thawed and wakened by James VI in high hopes that he would share with the Crown some of that famed flying pyramid spaceship bullshit the Common Core history books push. To the King, he allegedly replied, “Nah Dawg. Crackas done stole our starship shit and lost ‘em. Y’all be waitin’ fo sum foo to run a law-moah injun [SIC] on a bedsheet at da beech sum deyz.” He continued, “But, I would be most happy to design for you a launch and landing space for just such craft.” And, he did.

By the time the great festivities of the War rolled around, all six aerodromes had been forgotten, each being submerged or else cluttered with discount outlets and fast food joints. The brave soldiers who “took” Hollaback Field, as it was originally called, didn’t know they were so doing. Instead, they were likely just looking to make change for the carwash. 

And, that’s the truth, the whole diversion, and nothing but a lie.

Next time, I think we shall examine the Southwestern Aztech-Spanish origins of those “nonexistent” nuclear-powered incineration rays, proffered without support during the death penalty phase at certain Nuremberg trials. That is, Trump Tweetin’ and the nukes don’t drop.

The Nukes did drop, legally speaking…

President Pompeo Primes Poms Poms

19 Wednesday Jun 2019

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Reasons behind the recent Gulf of Oman false flags begin to emerge. And, they look a lot like the same old neocon insanity.

According to a new article from English-language Israeli publication The Jerusalem Post, the Hebrew-language Israeli publication Maariv has reported that diplomatic sources in the UN are assessing a US plan to conduct a “massive” airstrike on “an Iranian facility linked to its nuclear program” in response to alleged attacks on two sea vessels in the Gulf of Oman.

“The sources added that President Trump himself was not enthusiastic about a military move against Iran, but lost his patience on the matter and would grant Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, who is pushing for action, what he wants,” The Jerusalem Post reports.

This news comes after public statements by Pompeo that the US is considering a “full range of options” against Iran. It also comes as 1,000 additional US troops are being sent to the Middle East to “address air, naval, and ground-based threats” there. It also comes amid sightings of depraved war criminal Henry Kissinger at the Pentagon.

So that’s great.

Action at all costs. And, no gain. That is great…

Stupid Party Chases Unicorns

12 Wednesday Jun 2019

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The dangers of democracy on display as the GOP (and the WSJ?) fall for the climate hoax.

A small but growing number of Republican lawmakers are urging action on climate change, driven by shifting sentiment among GOP voters and the effects of global warming, from stronger hurricanes to more-destructive wildfires.

The group backs policies rooted in what they consider GOP principles, favoring market-based solutions rather than government regulations. Many are loyal supporters of President Trump, but they part with him on climate change, which he has dismissed as hyped.

Republican Rep. Matt Gaetz of Florida says the GOP needs to advance sound conservative proposals to combat climate change and embrace science, or risk long-term political damage.

“How can we as a party stand up to the generational challenges we face with globalization and automation and climate change if we don’t look credible to the body politic,” Mr. Gaetz said in an interview.

Honk. Honk.

Mitch McConnell is a Tyrant

21 Tuesday May 2019

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The people simply don’t want, don’t deserve, and will not have any freedom. Forget the invasion, the economic hurricane, and everything else; “children” smoking is still a crisis. You are sooooolucky to have this Congress ready to act.

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell on Monday introduced a bill to raise the federal age for purchasing tobacco products, including e-cigarettes, to 21, increasing the chances that Congress will clear a significant smoking-related bill for the first time since a major tobacco control law was enacted a decade ago.

The bill comes amid growing concerns about the youth use of e-cigarettes, which reached record levels in 2018. That marked a troubling reversal of declines in smoking traditional cigarettes.

Those worrisome trends prompted McConnell to introduce the bill, despite the important role that tobacco farming plays in the economy of his home state Kentucky, he said in a Senate floor speech Monday.

Shit, yeah. That’s the best fix this side of an election!

Of course, Mitch and the GOP are on board.

Of course, there’s bipartisan support.

Of course, corporate tobacco is in favor.

Of course, busybodies are concerned.

Of course, the stupid American people don’t care.

Of course, 21 is the natural age of majority.

Of course, the pols lied to “underage” servicemen.

Of course, that makes these people potential war criminals…

[They already do this with alcohol]: If a “boy” can enlist and go to war at 18, but not be considered an “adult” for another three years, then what does that mean? It means the US Empire sends children to war. Under the Geneva Convention, that’s a war crime.

If you voted, in any way, for any of this, maybe you’re complicit and should be tried too – maybe under Nuremberg protocols. After all, the polidiots were just following your orders.

Makes Perfect Sense

10 Sunday Feb 2019

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Sallust was right and Coonman does come off as a pretty fair master.

The poll, conducted Wednesday through Friday, finds residents split over Northam’s fate, with 47 percent wanting him to step down and 47 percent saying he should stay on. Northam counts higher support among black residents — who say he should remain in office by a margin of 58 percent to 37 percent — than among whites, who are more evenly divided.

Of course. As I noted earlier, the GOP hand wringing is useless.

From Fake News to Stupid News

31 Monday Dec 2018

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The Associated Press released their survey of the top news stories of 2018. These are items selected by editors around the country and not necessarily the favorites of the people. However, I suspect, given the monopoly press, that they are the stories most heavily sold (like any manufactured good) to the people. A look:

1. The Parkland Shooting – A tragedy but hardly the most important thing in the country. Another of a decreasing number of mass shootings, another failed attempt to ban guns, another exposure of government corruption.

2. Russia, Russia, Russia – Fake news personified. Too much to do about absolutely nothing. Worn, tired, and dying.

3. Pound Me Too – Beyond exposing that Hollywood is run by and for lowlifes, this only pacifies wimps and furthers male-bashing and anti-Americanism.

4. More “Mass” Shootings – More hype, fewer facts. We’re not giving up the guns, sorry.

5. The Elections – All problems are solved now! Spare me, please…

6. Immigration – This should have been the number one issue and it should have been titled, “The Ongoing Invasion.” This is the story that has most changed the character of the country (for the worse) and is only getting worse by the day. At this late point, The Wall would only be a start.

7. Brett and Beaker – The fakest of fake news for the dumbest of humans. Why hasn’t anyone been indicted yet?

8. CA Fires – A story to be sure. But a top ten?

9. “Climate Change” – Like gun grabbing, this attempt at mass market communism just isn’t gaining traction. Ice. Age. Comes.

10. Khashoggi Murder – I doubt one in fifty Americans even know this happened.

Stupid items, selected by stupid editors, in a fat and stupid country. How about these issues:

  • The Invasion
  • The murder of 700,000 children
  • The brewing depression
  • The coming wars
  • The existing and failed foreign adventures
  • The observably declining physical health
  • The falling IQs
  • The social morals on life support
  • The embracing of mental illness as “normal,” “better” even
  • The death of public education
  • The rise of the machines
  • The completely unreported blinding of the CIA last fall and the war in the deep state.

Don’t look for improvement in 2019.

 

 

 

Laments of the Stupid Party

21 Wednesday Nov 2018

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Another “woulda, shoulda, coulda” train of thought, from Lawrence Vance, on the uselessness of the Republican Party.

Here are twenty reasonable things that the Republicans could have done:

Repeal Obamacare in its entirety
Abolish the National Endowment for the Arts
Abolish the National Endowment for the Humanities
Eliminate refundable tax credits
Eliminate the Department of Education
Stop cash welfare payments
Cease funding any scientific research on climate change
Means test all welfare programs
Abolish the TSA and returned airport security to the private sector
Eliminate CAFE standards
Allow people to sell their bodily organs upon their death
Defund Planned Parenthood
End the federal war on marijuana and leave the issue up to the states
End the embargo against Cuba and allow Americans to freely travel there
Eliminate all foreign aid
End all restrictions on the production of hemp
Eliminate all funding for manned and unmanned missions to Mars
Privatize the National Railroad Passenger Corporation (Amtrak)
Abolish the Corporation for Public Broadcasting
End all farm subsidies
And Republicans certainly could have eliminated Daylight Saving Time.

Not only could Republicans have done these things, they could have done them the first month that they had absolute control of the government. But they, as usual, did nothing.

It’s not even a penny’s worth of difference.

Modern elections are nothing except different groups of deluded fools fighting over a rotting corpse.

“Let the Damned Thing Die”

07 Wednesday Feb 2018

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He’s (She’s?, Xir’s??, They’s???) not talking about the Federal Reserve.

Another good reason to be very wary of the college-debt-idiocy complex:

Following a row about a professor-produced play about immigration a new and exciting student group has sprung up at Kenyon College in Ohio: The Whiteness Group seeks to silence whites on campus.

The Good Samaritan’s retraction comes serendipitously at the same moment as the creation of a new student group at Kenyon: “the whiteness group.”

The group was founded by a student, Juniper Cruz, and is notable not just for its name, but for its rules, which state that “no white person can ask a person of color questions; white people must try to answer their questions for themselves. And no spreading rumors about what people say during the meetings.”

If you were going to set out to create a more illiberal student group possible at a college, you would be hard-pressed to do so.

Were I a student at Kenyon, this wouldn’t be much of a problem for me. “STFU” isn’t exactly a question. And censorship and crybaby-ism isn’t much of an academic tradition. At least one (probably older) professor gets it: “’Today is the end of [liberal education at Kenyon College],’ Fred Baumann, a professor of political science at Kenyon, proclaimed last week to a panel and its audience.”

He’s alone:

And as for Baumann’s suggestion that liberal education was finished at Kenyon, he’s certainly on to something. Following the panel where Baumann made his stand, one student took to Facebook, saying that if liberal education “necessitates the silencing of marginalized communities, the protection of racism, and our complicity with both, then let the damned thing die.”

A loaded, fallacious “if, then.” Let it already; there are better and cheaper alternatives. Is this garbage worth $65,840 per year? No.

Average-College-Debt

No questions asked, okay?! WFDD.

Reality Winner on Not Talking to the Police

29 Friday Sep 2017

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Just don’t do it. Don’t ever answer their questions or give them statements. Just don’t talk. Reality Winner, alleged NSA leaker, could tell you about it.

In the interview [with the FBI], Winner at first denied several times that she leaked any secret documents. She said she had been trying to get an assignment working with U.S. forces in Afghanistan.

First she acknowledged printing a report that “looked like a piece of history.” She told the agents “I thought it would be cool if I had it on my desk for a couple of days.” But she insisted she dropped the report in a bin used for papers that were to be destroyed.

“I mean, I’m trying to deploy,” Winner said. “I’m not trying to be a whistleblower. That’s crazy.”

She changed her story after an agent asked bluntly how she got the document out of the office.

“Folded in half in my pantyhose,” Winner replied.

Winner at one point asked the agents, “This sounds really bad. Am I going to jail tonight?”

One of the agents replied, “I don’t know the answer to that yet.”

An interview (i.e. talking). One story. Another story. On and on. Yes, dear, it sounds bad – because it sounds. Because you’re talking. Period. Half the time they have no evidence other that what you volunteer. Give them anything and, as they WARN YOU, it “can and WILL be used against you in court.” Yes, you’re in jail, now. Judge Epps will probably keep you there after today’s hearing.

Actually, I’m not so sure Winner could put all this together even at this time. She has a history of talking. A lot. Little of it makes sense:

“Yeah, I screwed up royally.”

Saying anything is a bad idea. That one was really bad.

 

“Look, I only say I hate America like 3 times a day. I’m no radical. It’s mostly just about Americans obsession with air conditioning.”

Like, OMG, radicals at least attempt a little coherency.

“I mean yeah I do [America’s] literally the worst thing to happen on the planet. We invented capitalism the downfall of the environment.”

Give an SJW a little rope… Yeah, maybe that’s not fair, here. How about SJI = Social Justice Idiot?

 

“I’ve filed formal complaints about [the NSA] having Fox News on, you know? Uh, just at least, for God’s sake, put Al Jazeera on, or a slideshow with people’s pets.”

She needs to be re-educated for bringing God into this. People’s pets???

I’m starting to see a mental deficiency defense if nothing else. Something lacking in the amygdala or something…

For the rest of you: just don’t talk.

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In causally related news, the other day was the 230 anniversary of the U.S. Constitution. I missed it along with all the “fun”. Shame they didn’t miss it back in 1787. Proof some lies live forever a long time.

Way to go, Big Sleazy

11 Thursday May 2017

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I congratulate the City of New Orleans and its upstanding citizens on their successful removal of the Statue of Jefferson Davis, first, last, and greatest President of the C.S.A.

Workers in New Orleans in the early hours of Thursday took down a statue of Jefferson Davis, the president of the Confederate States of America during the Civil War. It was the second of four such statues or monuments targeted for removal as city officials seek to erase the vestiges of an era that celebrated white supremacy and racism.

Crews, wearing masks to cover their faces, worked under a heavy police presence starting at 3 a.m. to dismantle the statue, which was erected in 1911, nearly 50 years after the end of the war, and commissioned by the Jefferson Davis Memorial Association.

Wearing masks over their faces … like the Klan. Irony lost, certainly.

Begone, era of white supremacy and racism! Begone, history, heritage, pride and civility! Hell, begone all ye old, dirty, usurping, 0-culture crackers! Comes now the era of the SJW, the post-1965 Amerika!

08MONUMENTS1-master768

Annie Flanagan / Carlos Slim’s Blog.

But, seriously, congratulations to the people of the Big High-Crime Drainage Ditch. All their problems are now solved. Never again need they fear: ridiculously, hilariously failed schools; high unemployment; crime to make Detroit wince; gangs; drugs; welfare careerism by the generation; illiteracy; an economy as stagnant as their beloved swamp; the swamp; 110% humidity; tropical diseases; public corruption; public urination; public vomiting; vagrancy; illegal gun raids; looters; Superdome sodomy and rape sprees; police looters, and; the next Katrina.

Getting rid of one old white man accomplished so much. Two men – I think they did away with Gen. Beauregard too, him and his horse. Two men and a horse gone and N.O. becomes paradise on earth. It’s like Newspeak for the statuary aware – out with the old and tainted and in with a better, brighter, if lower and dumber future. You will see this improvement immediately upon your next visit to N’Awlins. You will; I’ve made my last trip.

This pitiful episode, and the hundreds like it around the faltering U.S., do lend some optimism to the prospect of one day tearing down other monuments – those to Amerika’s favorite plagiarist, drunken womanizer, and communist. I think the FBI files will be unsealed in ten years or so.

Until then, in honor of anti-Southern hatred in N’Awlins and elsewhere, I leave you with this:

I do not give a damn!