Little did I know this column would run early. It did, so here goes:
We find a family on the road before Christmas…
Yes! Gun fans, we have, after too long a pause, another Second Amendment article. Today’s ramble was motivated by one of the most irresponsible and alarming comments heard, maybe ever, in the left’s long war on freedom in the New World. Today, we explore the hypothetical intersection of American gun enthusiasts and nuclear weapons. It’s an improbable discussion. Then again, we live in improbable times.
A while back I laid to rest (so I then thought) any concern over the “nuclear option” concerning private firearms ownership. Little did I know that the subject would charge back into the national discourse with deadly potential.
As ridiculous as it sounds, the highest level of gun control hysteria the commies and globos can mount is the utterly irrational fear that, given an unrestricted right to keep and bear arms, American citizens will resort to the ownership and use of nuclear weapons. Yes, really. I’ve actually encountered that grade-A brand of stupidity live and in person – on a college campus if you’ll believe it. I heard it again, via this video:
Here we go:
Happy Thanksgiving, America! Or Thanksgiving Week, whichever it happens to be. As we gather with assorted friends, relatives, and other annoying, stinking like three-day-old dead fish loved ones, let’s us analyze them by chronological category, politically, psychologically, and philosophically. For the Farcebookers and TeeVee watchers, now might be a good time to return to loftier observations. I hear Big Bird is rounding Columbus Circle to West 59th right about now…
[Big Bird Picture]…
Bobbing Towards Gomorrah. Picture from someone’s Pinterest.
Here follows a brief examination of the (mostly) living US generations, ranked and sorted by your hard-laboring, long-suffering National Affairs Meddler and Chief Prognosticator. I got ‘em all down, from best to worst. The determination dates are all mine, based upon popular assessments. As with nearly all of my work, this one is geared toward actual Americans, as would have been so-considered circa 1964. Civ-natties, equality freaks, Jordan Peterson cultists, and others of low intellect and poor breeding are hereby advised to retreat to the bloating comfort of all those leftovers.
Now, shall we?
Generation X (1965 – 1979)
It’s not just that this is my generation, though that does provide some clarity. We had The Dukes of Hazzard, Pac-Mac, and The Empire Strikes Back. I rest my case. We, and the older generations, had some wacky ways. Our styles – bell bottoms, popped collars, wide ties, big hair, high-tops, and Madras shorts – were a little out there, a little silly upon retrospective review. But, at least they were styles. The new vogue of the nation involves rolling out of bed, throwing on a garbage bag, and sloughing off to nowhere while munching from a big bag of Cheetos.
Seriously, we are the last generation of what might be properly deemed “real” Americans. We are the last to grow up in and experience the fading glory of the remnants of the Old Republic. Early on, we were derided as jaded and disinterested slackers. But, really, how the hell else should we have been? We were the first generation to feel the full brunt of the hideous social and economic experiments of our predecessors. The first in post-Christian Amerika. The first with intentionally, deliberately failed schools. The first with money completely debased. The first under total governance. The last generation of traditional Americans in the new Amerikan Babel.
“Controversial” fiction short held over from last week:
5 the Hive, Live, Breaking News, 9:52 AM:
Morning Anchor: ‘Breaking news in Anytown. Authorities in Anytown are responding to an emergency situation at George Washington Carver Middle School and Center for STEM Excellence in Standardized Testing. 5 the Hive learned, minutes ago, that the situation may involve a possible chemical attack. We do not, at this time, know if this is a terror attack or yet another school shooting. Our own P.B. Jay is on the scene. P.B., what do we know?’
Reporter Jay: ‘Pandemonium here at Carver Middle. I’m across Main looking at the campus. You can see … over my shoulder … we have fire trucks, ambulances, dozens of police. A S.W.A.T. team is preparing to make entry.’
Anchor: ‘Have you heard of any students or others harmed or … otherwise?’
Jay: ‘I’m seeing … we have hundreds of students and teachers exiting the building. You can see them with their hands raised for safety. The authorities are not taking any chances. And … I have here Assistant School Superintendent Aller Gee. Mrs. Gee, do we know exactly what has happened or if there are any casualties?’
Mrs. Aller Gee: ‘All of our children and their safety is our only concern. I have a rumor, a report, there are several sixth graders down … [voice cracks] … our babies are… [sobbing] More may be trapped in a bathroom or science lab. I’m trying to think of the children.’
Jay: ‘Thank you. [hugs Gee] Thank you. We’re all crying, here. And, everyone, the police are directing us to back up towards the Waffle House. Two more helicopters just landing now.’
Anchor: ‘We now know there may be six children, possibly more, succumbing to injuries at Carver Middle. A terrible tragedy. We will constantly cover this story and update you regularly. Now, 5 the Hive’s Jimmy Carter has more on the cows still loose on I-19…’
“Okay. So a Veep and a Rabbi walk into a firestorm…”
Complete that joke as you like – my head hurts. But a laugh helps a little. That’s what I got out of this brand new story from Yahoo! “News” and I thought I’d share.
Mike Pence, doing what Vice Presidents do, traveled to Michigan to headline a campaign rally for Lena Epstein. Mrs. Epstein is a proud Republican running for Congress. She’s also Jewish. Trump, when not available himself, channels his inner Warren Zevon and sends the envoy – Pence in this case.
I’ve been to rallies like this, once even having forgotten my boots and shovel. It gets deep quick but, as everyone’s typically in the same party, no one seems to mind. Words were said, probably about taxes, jobs, the military, Israel, and making some country between Mexico and Canada great again. Stock stuff.
Then! Then, as is typical with these events, a prayer was offered. Here, matters of political identity and decorum can occasionally raise their heads. Pence is a Christian, Epstein a Jew, and the Michigan voters are probably Lions fans. So, who leads the prayer??? Rabbi? Pastor? Priest? Matthew Stafford?
Pence, likely with Epstein’s approval, settled the matter by offering up one Loren Jacobs, a “Christian Rabbi” from the area. But, “wait!” you say. Christians don’t have Rabbis and Rabbis aren’t Christian. Confusing possibly, but it’s a big country. The “Jews for Jesus” are a sect of Christians – I once knew one – who use Judaic titles and seek to convert Jews.
The hubbub it seems regards Jacob’s purported representation of all local Jews and his words of prayer offered for the victims of this weekend’s mass murder at Tree of Life Synagogue of Pittsburgh, PA. For those poor souls, he prayed in Jesus’s name. One might say that a prayer is a prayer, although one could also sense a sleight in action.
“Messianic ‘Judaism’ is a branch of Christianity and offensive to the Jewish community. Lena Epstein knew this and so did Pence and his team. This wasn’t ecumenical; it was an insulting political stunt,” said “real” Detroit Rabbi Jason Miller. There’s also the hot on the heels of the Synagogue shooting angle. Outrage. Firestorm.
This week’s column follows, in full. I wrote it fast and dry and, one quick edit aside, I didn’t even read it. An apology for the ho-hum-ness passed to TPC. But … MB ran it with praise today. I read it and … he might be right. A blending of one of my pet issues with a little nuanced fiction, comedy even. It captures a glimpse into my recent foray into cultural anthropology, a little hidden German truth, and even some nature photography. Enjoy: