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Little did I know this column would run early. It did, so here goes:

Whatever Happened to the Hot Israeli Sea Salt Selling Girls at the Mall?

This is the final C.F. Floyd National Affairs column for 2018. Boy, time flies when you’re agitating and stuff! 2018 review? No time. 2019 preview? Wait till next week. No, I got today’s idea when I read Bess’s stellar bit about hating Christmas shopping, the children’s survival notwithstanding. Such was my enjoyment that mine was the first comment:

 

“I miss the cute, little Mossad-ettes peddling sea salt in the malls. The rest, they can keep.”

 

Thank you, Bess, for planting a fantastic seed in the untoward garden of my mind. Here goes: Remember the Dead Sea salt girls at the mall? I do and fondly.

 

It was December 2006. Determined to waste as much money as possible buying the affections of loved ones, I strolled the crowded promenade of North Point Mall in Alpharetta. I had Baby Girl, the Old Man, a few friends, the nieces, and the dorks well covered. I needed something (else) for the Wife and something for those other womanly relations. Not being the most domestically-minded man, you can imagine my consternation.

 

It was, I recall, getting late. My ever-befuddled thoughts turned to ale and cigars. The pace and volume of the throng began to wear upon my fragile nerves. I needed answers, options and I needed them fast.

 

Then, She hailed me over. …

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