Education in the New Abnormal, Part Three

As promised, here’s the third installment in a series that arose in a rather impromptu fashion. To catch up here’s: Part One and Part Two.

Before I get going, two things:

One. Biowarfare is sloppy at best:

There are still only three real and effective WMDs: nukes, heavy bombing, and conventional concentrated artillery strikes. Chemical weapons and germs, while moderately effective in closed theaters, just don’t have the reliability of overall destructive power. But, they do, if properly manipulated via PR, have the ability to instill panic. So it is with the little “China” bug, which likely got its start in Maryland. I have a theory backed by growing evidence; I think I have a good idea about “who” and “why.” Let’s just say the little virus did some traveling, at the behest of two of the most hideously evil countries on Earth, before it ever arrived in Wuhan. More on that, perhaps, later. But it is, as I’ve said all along, a hoax. That’s what it is, friends, another in an endless series of hobgoblins literally created by the elites to keep you panicked. Congratulations to most for falling in line as predicted or ordered. 

Two. For fun, predicting the next hoax:

Mars Attacks! This is just thinking outside the mask (which is dangerous and ineffective), for a second, in anticipation of the next con job. I heard that the US Space Force(!) ran a recruiting ad in an attempt to crew the good Starship Trumperprise, WTF-666 (Braggart-Class Crui$er). Boy, you’ll be glad they did when the mean old Martians finally come calling. No, you won’t ever see one. Nobody you know will either. But, some paid celebrities will claim to have been abducted, only to be rescued by Luke Debtwalker. Parades will be held. Endless TV press conferences. We’ll be admonished to thank our “Heroes of the Helios” for their service. Here, wear this mind-control helmet so the aliens can’t read your thoughts! It was ET bombing those houses, honest. The Death Star took out the housing market. We’ll need the last vestiges of your liberties, please. They probably won’t say “please,” but you get the idea. Most will go along happily – if fearfully. 

Thank God Almighty that nothing of the sort is in progress right now. Yet, for some odd reason, the schools are all closed down. (Now, the education part – the last for a while, methinks):

Harvard has given so much to the world: Napalm, the bat-bomb (by the Napalm guy no less!), the Unabomber, Larry Summers, the new definition of “grade inflation,” Farcebook, SJWisms, the collision of two powerful low-trust groups of outsiders over control of American academia and possibly greater society, a slightly modified virus, etc. Now we can add to the list, a call to ban homeschooling. You know, because it works, and because Christians like it. A mid-witted Promethean law professor, whose name isn’t even worth mentioning, thinks it’s “authoritarian” and dangerous for mom and dad to raise their own children. Her reasoning – and, yeah, it’s a stretch of the word, all-right – echoes the flaming rants of Xir Stroop, namely: Christ bad, government good. Of course, results in literal reality may vary.

But, homeschooling, or private schooling, might be all that’s left. Last weekend, I spoke with a neighbor who teaches AP science at a government high school. She’s what I deem one of the “good ones,” and she’s more than a little worried about not resuming classes in the fall of this year. She’s not alone. Google “school budget” and any given geographic area in America and you’ll find not all is financially well in public education. Georgia K-12 schools are on the life support of emergency federal intervention. Georgia is not alone in that regard either, and the state’s colleges are also feeling the pinch. 

When, or rather if, the schools make a comeback prior to the 2021-22 year, they promise big, COVID-19 friendly changes. They have no idea what those are nor how they’ll work, but it’s their way to promise – so they do. As to the hypothetical deviations, I looked at systems in Georgia, North Carolina, and Massachusetts (cause we’re East Coast-centric around here!). What I found was so depressing, idiotic, and plausibly ephemeral, that I decided to go straight to the international competition, schools in countries that still nominally value education. I’d like to suppose how Americans might benefit, if at all, from what the foreigners are doing/planning to do.

The Chinese, primary intended victims of the late attacks, are sending the little kids back to the desks outfitted with special … wait for it … social distancing hats! These are something like the copter-top beanies that the boys sported when the Beaver was still fresh on the air, except the blades are enormous and they don’t rotate. Seriously. It’s a hat – ball cap or what have you – with what appear to be added pool noodles or yardsticks, each about three-feet long. That means that two children can’t come within the magic six-foot exclusionary zone without bumping hats, which I assume would be embarrassing. These being elementary children, they’ve decorated the hats in an overly cute fashion. It’s like the (metal) lunchboxes or t-shirts from my era, except its sickness psychosis theater headwear. THIS! I expect the American masses to add these to their mask and glove ensemble. Kroger intercom: Don’t fall flat. Wear your hat!

The Little Dutch Boy is scheduled to abandon his efforts at the dike (not you, Stroopy!) and return to class ensconced inside a plexiglass cubicle. This would be 100% foolproof if the thing was fully-enclosed (it isn’t) and didn’t require non-plexiglass movement throughout the day. Yeah, and there’s the thing about under-18s not being susceptible to the bug and this whole episode being utterly ridiculous, but… ‘Muricans done beat them Netherlands to this one; a similar (idiotic and ineffective) structure having been partially erected around every cash register in North America.

The French have a delightful idea that seems custom-made for trial in the États Unis. I can’t remember why, and I’m not going to look a second time, but the Frenchies are reopening their academies, initially, for only ten percent of the studentry. In Amérique, only about ten percent of the victim inmates learn anything, so it might be wise to only mandate or allow their return. This being wise automatically precludes its happening.

Denmark may have the best, easiest, most effective, and breeziest solution to the problem that doesn’t exist. It actually makes outside (pun) sense in its own right. The crazy Danes are holding classes outdoors! Schooling was regularly conducted amidst fresh air from caveman days up until about fifty years ago. Add HVACing to the long list of crimes perpetrated against our children. No, idiot! Not when it’s 110 degrees or when it’s snowing! Most other times, however, this is among the finest of ideas, something that Socrates, Thales, and Plato practiced. We know this will not work in America, as most of our children have never been outside and open windows frighten our women. Anyway…

Now’s the time when I would otherwise extol the virtues of home and/or private schools. I’ve done that so much, myself, that I’d like to turn the column over to Crisis Magazine for a moment. Read THIS, THIS, and THIS. Thanks. Homeschool or die or, at least, suffer terrible consequences. Vox Day related the recent homeschool success of a long-time reader at his site. Your children can do it too.

Now, for a brief word about colleges, or about picking the right college – for after the homeschool victories. I recently mentioned the viability of trade schools. However, for many, college is still a right option, if it’s the right school. Most are not. 

The Cardinal Newman Society puts out a list of its recommended colleges. There are more than 200 Catholic schools in America, most of them “Catholic” in name only. The CNS found 15 of them truly worthy, with a handful of others added from the ranks of the modern, alternative (on-line) camps. I can vouch for Magdalen College and Thomas Aquinas College, both in New Hampshire. All of these choices instill a deep, profound liberal arts education while maintaining a true Christian Spirit. One may compare those schools to ACTA’s rankings. Of 1,132 colleges surveyed, only 23 made the “A” grade, which denotes the kind of comprehensive scholastics one would otherwise associate with higher education but which are sadly lacking at most of today’s schools. Research is your friend. 

And, friends, that is a wrap, today. Next time … some other interesting national affair(s). A thought for the interim: We know a new (and exciting!) war is around the corner? What if it’s already in progress?