Tag Archives: cigars

Fat = Cancel – from TPC

11 Friday Jan 2019

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Another great coronary corollary you won’t find anywhere else:

Greetings, beloved readers! Fire up a cigar and join Old Perrin once again for another jaunt into the affairs that shape and shake the nation. I invite the fumar cigarros out of devotion, taste, and concern for general well-being. It’s not a secret that your humble writer relishes the better leaves of Nica, the DR, and Cuber; many of these amalgams of dishonesty and fantasy are smoke-powered.

It’s hard to imagine in 2019 but there are some troglodytes around who still frown on Godly tobacco. Personal preferences are one thing. But to slander an entire species of plant is another. And, I’ve noticed one thing about many or most of the slanderers – they tend to be at least a little tubby and more than a little out of shape.

Nosir, Bub, my cigar will not harm me. Your super-jumbo slurpee, on the other hand, might just do you in. Obesity = Cancer. Health Europa reports that “According to new studies, excess body weight is an established cause of cancer, currently known to be linked to 13 cancers.” Mind you, that these were European scientists investigating American health. That’s understandable seeing as how we have a … larger problem here than they do across the pond.

The average American woman of 2018 is roughly the same weight as the average American man of 50 years ago. The average American man is now roughly the same weight (and shape) as a 1968 model Pacific Walrus (O. R. Divergens). I tried to get stats on today’s Walrus girth but it seems the last one was eaten by a couple of average modern Americans (We. R. Chubbies).
…

READ AT TPC

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Richard Overton, RIP

28 Friday Dec 2018

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A bitter end for 2018, but an end 112 years in the making. America’s oldest man and cigar smoker has died.

Overton was born near Bastrop in 1906 and served in the army for three years during World War II. He spent the majority of his life in Austin and was often seen on the porch of his home, which he built in East Austin in 1945.

He gave credit to God for his longevity, but he always said cigars and whiskey helped.

“I been smoking cigars from when I was 18 years old, I’m still a smoking ‘em. 12 a day,” he said.

Another life cut short by evil tobacco…

He liked guns too.

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I see the double fire selector, there.

A wonderful life.

FDA War on Cigars, part 2??? – clearing the drafts

15 Saturday Dec 2018

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***Note*** I’ve got a lot of drafts sitting around, some in existence and unpublished since 2013. It became obvious to me that I’m in no hurry to get around to them. But, they’ve survived various draft purges over the years. If they’re that important I can just come back and elaborate later. For now, I offer them, kind of as-is, in this, a lightning publishing round. The fun will continue while supplies last. Make of these what you will. Or not. I don’t care.

*****

Aha! I found this, just a list of links to past news stories. The FDA communist assault continues, though some fight it. I’ve covered that. I even published a submitted CFR comment. Entertain yourselves, particularly if you’re in the industry, with the following (if operable – not checking):

 

http://www.fda.gov/NewsEvents/Newsroom/PressAnnouncements/ucm499234.htm

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2016/may/23/diane-katz-fda-cigar-rules-threaten-industrys-smal/

How FDA Rules Are Making Life Hell For Cigar Lovers

https://www.federalregister.gov/articles/2016/05/10/2016-10685/deeming-tobacco-products-to-be-subject-to-the-federal-food-drug-and-cosmetic-act-as-amended-by-the

https://www.cigarrights.org/fda-response.php

http://archive.constantcontact.com/fs187/1102288667527/archive/1117218447736.html

The era of unregulated cigars may be going up in smoke

 

 

 

 

 

New Cigar Piked by Ivan Throne

30 Thursday Aug 2018

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I’m a terrible social media user. You knew that. So it should come as no surprise that I hadn’t checked in at GAB in nearly a year (sorry #GabFam…). Anyway, I am glad I made a recent short incursion. I found out about a new cigar!

A Dark Triad cigar!, the progeny of our friend and best-selling author Ivan Throne.

Behold the Empalador (the Impaler)!

The names – of the smoke and of the man – say enough. I have not smoked one but I am assured of quality.

A Pre Review:

Expected availability in September (hey, that’s Saturday!);

Look for her in Robusto, Churchill, and Torpedo sizing;

$194 per box of Robustos;

Wrapper: Honduran Trojes (very good); Binder: Indonesia (interesting); Long-cut filler: Honduras and Nicaragua (Nica, baby!);

A real review from a real smoker, Dr. Jack Griffin, as lifted (with implied permission…) from the Empalador Site (get ye there and get on Ivan’s list):

“With a wrapper of aged Trojes Honduran, Honduran and Nicaraguan long filler, and an Indonesian binder, the Empalador (the “Impaler”) Robusto 5×50 is a delightful smoking experience.

“The scent of the foot promised a rich, complex smoke, and this fine stick did not disappoint. The aroma from the initial toasting offered notes of nut and pepper, and even an evasive hint of leather (at least to this reviewer’s nose). Smoking the cigar was deeply enjoyable paired with a fine bourbon. Although I usually allow a cigar to die a dignified death half way through the smoke, I found myself compelled to continue as there was none of the creeping bite and harshness one often finds as a cigar burns down.

“The Latin inscriptions on the band might be loosely translated as ‘the night owns the kingdom’ and ‘God wills’. Indeed it does and so does He. The Empalador is highly recommended.”

Nut, pepper, and evasive leather. Sounds outstanding! And, per my Nica-centricity, I’m going to say the magic Esteli or Jalapa (my guess) dirt adds just a hint of solid earthiness. Or so I hope. I find Dr. Griffin’s admission to burning his Robusto all the way down compelling. If it’s worth risking a burnt fingernail, it’s good. Period.

Going strictly by the pictured appearance, I’ll add that the Empalador is very well constructed. Such would be bolstered by Griffin’s account as harshness usually accompanies poor build, which does not favor an “undignified death.” A beautiful brown Maduro, it looks like a good cigar. My imagination and experience detect just enough strength and body to make the trip fun, yet not so strong as to overpower or moot any of the referenced notes.

Per my eternal habit of keeping no numerical or other rating systems, I cannot give you an “A,” a “10,” or a “+++.” But I trust Ivan and (now) Dr. Griffin.

In short: I’m looking forward to the real encounter. You should too.

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In the wild, in the box. Bring it! Picture by the Dark Triad Man.

PS: In keeping with the name, consider (at least once) deploying John Daly’s golf tee punching method – impale the Impaler!

PPS: Thank you, again, Ivan Throne!

The FDA is Evil

09 Thursday Aug 2018

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Forget typing those CFR comments. It won’t help. There’s no reasoning with this agency about cigars or anything else. They are literally out for innocent blood:

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration signed a new contract on July 25 to acquire “fresh” human fetal tissue to transplant into “humanized mice” so that these mice will have a functioning “human immune system,” according to information published by the FDA and the General Services Administration.

“The objective is to acquire Tissue for Humanized Mice,” said a June 13 FDA “presolicitation notice” for the contract.

…

“Fresh human tissues are required,” said the notice, “for implantation into severely immune-compromised mice to create chimeric animals that have a human immune system.”

According to GSA’s federal contract database, Advanced Bioscience Resources (ABR), a non-profit organization based in the San Francisco Bay Area, was awarded this $15,900 contract, which will run through July 25, 2019.

“Fetal tissue used in research is obtained from elective abortions,” says the Congressional Research Service.

In 2016, Harvard University provided the House Energy and Commerce Committee’s Select Investigative Panel on Infant Lives with a background paper explaining that mice with human immune systems “are engineered to this condition only by means of the use of human fetal material” and that this material can only come from aborted babies not from miscarriages.

I guess that’s why they included the following new bullshit warning for premium cigars:

WARNING: Cigar use while pregnant can harm you and your baby.
or
SURGEON GENERAL WARNING: Tobacco Use Increases the Risk of Infertility, Stillbirth and Low Birth Weight.

Now I understand why they don’t want any stillborns – makes it harder to create chimeras. Supporting, financing the murder to children to foster the growth of monsters. H. G. Wells had nothing on Washington.

Moreau

Wells.

Smoked Out: The NFL and Cigars Do Not Go Together

03 Friday Aug 2018

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I think the felons hit the field next week for pre-season protests or something. Yawn!

Word comes that, in Tampa, Bucs fans won’t be lighting up when the players kneel down.

The Tampa Sports Authority announced that it is banning smoking at Raymond James Stadium, starting immediately.

The authority says a smoke-free environment will make the fan experience more enjoyable.

“The need for this healthier environment was evident from fan feedback, national trends, and feedback from our tenants such as the Buccaneers and USF,” said Eric Hart, Tampa Sports Authority CEO.

It is not going over well with everyone.

“I like to smoke cigars,” Harold McCall told FOX 13. “I think [the ban] is terrible.”

There were designated smoking areas which have now been eliminated. Smokers have to finish puffing before going inside. If you leave to smoke, you’re not going to be allowed back in.

This is your Sports Authority. This is your Sports Authority on communism.

One doesn’t have to worry about getting back in if one never enters in the first place.* Davidoff invites fans to watch games in the comfy confines of their shop, located conveniently south of RJS. (From FB):

I invite people to watch the game from our beautiful Davidoff Tampa store which is right around the corner from the stadium. Cigars smokers are welcomed with open arms…nanny state folks stay out!

Patrons (of the store) have weighed in. The most appropriate comment is, “F them!” That’s really the only response. Now, I understand the marketing angle of luring in the fans with the big screens. But, philosophically and not just as a screen hater, why bother having the foolishness anywhere near the happy smokers? Why support the enemy in any way? They ban you. So you ban them.

That’s the sentiment of today’s PNW:

safe_image

Are they going to ban firing the ship’s cannon? That would make children “safe” from smoke and guns! Davidoff, Tampa, FB.

*PS: The last (and final) time I was at Sanford Stadium, I tried to smoke a cigar OUTSIDE and away from everyone. I was told I could not. I left. And I have no plans of ever returning. F them too.

PPS: Facebook still sucks.

Proper Cigar Etiquette

21 Saturday Jul 2018

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Smoking a good cigar can be one of life’s great joys. It can also be a little intimidating for a beginner. When I started out I had to endure several long months of trial and painful error. I hope you can avoid that.

**NOTES: This article is a little long. Therefore, I’ve divided it into sections with bold caption headings. If you have a question about a particular subject, just scroll down until you see it. Of course, I think the story is worth reading in its entirety.

…

Proper Cigar Etiquette

Reviewing the New Cigar Warning Labels (With Added Warning)

19 Thursday Jul 2018

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The gullible American people and their Chicken Little politicritters love a good epidemic. One woman gets Zika? Epidemic. Someone run over by a texting driver? Epidemic. Banksters and pols loot 99% of the value out of the Dollar while squashing civil liberties? Epid … oops, nevermind that one…

I just read about the next great epidemic – Benzos! Valium reminds some doctor a lot of the opioid crisis! Crisis. Epidemic. Same thing. We’ll need a new law and some more regs! Maybe the FDA can get around to that once they cure another great epidemic – pregnant women smoking cigars…

Come August 10th, retail cigars (to include individual units) must be accompanied by one of the following six warning labels: herein, my review:

WARNING: Cigar smoking can cause cancers of the mouth and throat, even if you do not inhale.

A lie. See explanation below.

WARNING: Cigar smoking can cause lung cancer and heart disease.

A lie. See immediately below.

WARNING: Cigars are not a safe alternative to cigarettes.

Part lie, part category error. Cigars are safe (FDA studies say so). However, they’re not an alternative to cigarettes, at all, with next to nothing in common except the burning aspect. Cigarettes are paper wrapped chemicals, tar, and, maybe, a little cheap tobacco. Cigars are pure, 100%, natural, organic, Earth-friendly, environmentally responsible tobacco from the best fields. Not just a lie, an eco-lie (very bad).

WARNING: Tobacco smoke increases the risk of lung cancer and heart disease, even in nonsmokers.

Yet another lie.

WARNING: Cigar use while pregnant can harm you and your baby.
or
SURGEON GENERAL WARNING: Tobacco Use Increases the Risk of Infertility, Stillbirth and Low Birth Weight.*

Now they involve the poor Surgeon General. This one is either a lie OR another false conflation. Again, it’s cigars, not cigarettes. And, women constitute something like 0.5% of all cigar smokers. Pregnant women are around, I’m guessing here, 0.000000%. Totally irrelevant and utterly stupid. I challenge the FDA to present one single case, ever, of any baby negatively affected by cigars. Scratch that. I challenge the FDA to pack up New Hampshire Avenue and just get the hell out of America and out our lives. I say they can’t do it. Let ’em prove me wrong!

WARNING: This product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical.

Believe it, or not, this one is not a complete lie. Rather, it’s a false syllogism of sorts, in reverse, kind of. Like this:

Major premise: Nicotine is bad.

Minor premise: Cigars contain nicotine.

Conclusion: Warrants a warning.

Again, again, again … cigars differ in many ways from cigarettes. Premium cigar makers do not add additional nicotine (or anything else) to the wrappers, binders, or fillers that constitute that lovely leafy goodness. Said leaf by itself does, in fact, contain a little nicotine. But, so do: tea leaves, eggplants, potatoes, peppers, cauliflower, and tomatoes.

Do these eggplant-IQ’d busybodies go around warning mums to be about the dangers of real eggplants? Could be; it’s a big CFR… Yet another government, elsewhere – the Royal Society for Public Health – just determined that scary, addictive nicotine is “no more dangerous than the caffeine in a cup of coffee.”

I get it, I get it. Warning labels on coffee come next…

With all these warnings floating around, I thought I might add one that isn’t based on complete BS. This:

****

GOVERNMENT WARNING!

Government is the most dangerous non-natural thing in existence, possibly more destructive than a gamma-ray burst. Government is not a safe alternative to freedom.

-or-

Take your labels and shove ’em.

******

Feel free to post that by the cash register.

april fools day cigar.0

Someone Robbed the Oldest Man in America

30 Saturday Jun 2018

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I’ve covered 12 cigar-a-day, 112-YO, All-America Richard Overton for over a year. See: Here and Here.

Happy times, then; today a pathetic story.

Someone is impersonating the oldest man in America.

Family members of Richard Overton, the 112-year-old World War II veteran who lives in Austin, learned that his personal bank account had been drained on Friday.

“Someone set up a bogus account, got his Social Security number and accessed his personal checking account,” said Volma Overton, who is Overton’s third cousin.

According to Volma, whoever accessed the money used it to buy savings bonds with Treasury Direct, and has been doing so for a few months.

“This is going to be a setback for Richard,” Volma said. “It was a significant amount of money.”

Pure evil. Overton has other funds. I imagine he’ll be successful in recovering the looted money in short order. Still…

I’ve been toying with the idea that, as identity theft is akin to killing the original person, for legal and banking matters, etc., maybe the same penalty should apply. Identity murder? In this particular case, the killer should be sentenced to death by cigar torch. Single flame. Over maybe a month or two. Too harsh? If you’re in Dallas, ask Overton. I’ll defer to his judgment.

I hope in ten years, he finds this a laughing matter.

1508517447-overton_al006

Happier times. Dallas Morning News.

Don’t Cruise Cuba, Don’t Suborn Theft

25 Monday Jun 2018

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Everyone I know, with maybe one exception, that has journeyed to Cuban has been disappointed. Still, I foresee the cruise liner set will still keep going, still keep eating, drinking, “playing,” showing off the tats, gracing the rest with that not-so-unique American obesity. And, yeah, those Cubans from the man on the dock, wrapped in cellophane, in the plexiglass-topped box, are real – real in that they physically exist…

The US Department of Justice [SIC] and some guy in England see the new travel ventures differently.

The United States government knows him as certified foreign claim number CU-2492. But he wants to make a more personal introduction to Tampa Bay.

He is Mickael Behn, a 43-year-old U.S. citizen residing in England, where he works in television production.

And, according to the U.S. Department of Justice’s Foreign Claims Settlement Commission, Behn is the rightful owner of Havana Harbor, the cruise ship terminal for Cuba’s capital city.

The harbor was taken from Behn’s family when the socialist government nationalized property without compensation.

So, Behn said, those who book a cruise from Port Tampa Bay to Havana support illegal activity. “This is an American crime on an American corporation,” he said. “Don’t go to Havana.”

The nonprofit Cuban Democratic Directorate recently put up billboards near Port Miami and is running radio ads that say those booking cruises to Cuba support the trafficking of stolen property.

How many damned offices, agencies, and programs can one government have?! Geeze.

Family from Cuba. Theft in Cuba. “American” living in England… I fail to see how this… Nevermind.

This case is especially interesting to a man whose family’s land was similarly confiscated by soldiers, at gunpoint, and without compensation. Do we get a claim? I think I already know the answer there. America and its laws are now for Cubans living in England. Got it.

It used to be a place for Englanders living in America. They’re, we’re completely out of fashion now. Even Laura Ingalls Wilder. She was an author. That is, for the new “Americans” and the tubby, tatted cruisers, someone who produces books. Books are the things they are tossing from libraries. Libraries are buildings taking up real estate needed for more sports watching venues, women’s African diversity centers, buffets, and tattoo shops.

walle-socialnetwork05-1024x431

Wall-e. Diet Files.