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Yesterday’s article on freedom in education garnered quite a bit of commentary. Here are a few thoughts from select readers that I culled from my email, texts, blog comments, etc. I tried to respond to each. I usually shy away from this back and forth but I felt compelled by coffee and allergy medicine this morning.

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‘The quality of public education directly impacts shareholders concerned with the school to prison pipeline. I have dedicated my professional career to ensuring the terminal end of the process remains lucrative. Dumb adolescents equal profits.’ – P. Warden, President, Private Prisons, Inc., Atlanta, GA.

Perrin: Remember, Warden, the millstone is better than what’s coming.

‘I was misenharted when Laura readed me you’re story. The children required victory for successes. We did!’ – G.W. Bush, Crawford, TX.

Perrin: Uhhh????…….

‘Consideration of various socio-economic indicators provides conclusive evidence and tacit reinforcement for generalized appropriation towards sustainable feasibility. More importantly, gender, racial, and ableist inequality derives from comprehensive malfeasance within the structural construct of disenfranchised and technonic economy, which, being a product of the patriarchy, is inherently insecure for ambulatory … [This went on for 666 more words…].’

– Chava Finkelstein, Cambridge, MA.

Perrin: You, “lady”, you….millstone…

‘Help! I want to read!’ – Johnny, age 8, Toledo, OH.

Perrin: Drop out now, Johnny.

‘Off topic: Mr. Lovett, your continual comparison of YOUR elected, idiot scum to MY people is a gross and abominable insult! Please discontinue this disgraceful political maligning.’ – M. Mouse, President, American Association of Rodents, Washington, DC.

Perrin: My sincere apologies.

‘Don’t need no school, won’t be no school. Them Cathilicks aughta study from what lord King James wrote. USA! USA!’ – Bubba, Anniston, AL.

Perrin: Bubba, I wrote my article out of concern for you and yourn.

‘I am so very glad that I invented education.’ – A. Gore, Outer Space.

‘you ain fo shit. sckool fo fool.’ – A. Sharpton, NY, NY.

Perrin: I also wrote being concerned for you, Sir. 

‘Like I always tell Patrick, when you’re frowning, imagine a happy rainbow.’ – S. Squarepants, Bikini Bottom, Ocean.

‘Your caring, your intellect, and your rugged good looks make me want you so bad.’ – S. Johansson, Hollywood, CA.

Perrin: Call me. Right now.

‘We give them what they need; they give us what we want. Like shooting money in a barrel. Heckle, heckle, you can’t stop the shekel.’ – M. Rothschild, London, UK.

Perrin: Funny you mention shooting.

‘My union rep says we have to right to coffee and donuts in the lounge. My planning time is my Overstock time. Johnny smells and needs a placement plan and Ritalin.’ – Suzy Q., Teacher, San Diego, CA.

‘Why learn when you’re hot? I have money. Jeally?’ – P. Hilton, Beverly Hills, CA.

Perrin: Yeah… Aaaand, no.

‘Socrates, Aquinas and I want to know what the hell happened! Water the tree, for God’s sake!’ – T. Jefferson, Heaven.

Perrin: Working on it, Mr. President.

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