Tag Archives: history

Falling Back Into History – The Weekly Column

22 Tuesday Sep 2020

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Falling Back Into History

The autumn season commenced at 9:31 AM (EDT) on Tuesday, September 22nd. Happy fall!

There is so much going on, as usual, if the unfolding this year is unusual. We’re still waiting on Dr. Fauci to tell us if the leaves may change colors, based on his highly-scientific reading of some chicken bones or something. If we’re allowed to observe, please remember to wear your face diaper; leaves are known superspreaders. BLM politics ball is in full swing! There’s the presidential (un)reality show. We have the “twin-demic” of the Corona Hoax and the coming of another common, ordinary cold and flu season – many more trillions of people under the age of 300 and otherwise immortal will sadly succumb. And we have the still-simmering civil war. 

In other words, we have some conflicts. Then again, when don’t we? We even, from time to time, see eras like this when all of society is reordered. Now might be the ideal time to read about earlier times of mass chaos. (Yeah, sorry, it’s another bout of national affairs literacy). As the esteemed Vox Day recently pointed out, even those who know history may still be doomed to repeat it. However, at least we have the benefit of understanding what’s happening, and thus, we may be able to stave off the more uncomfortable aspects of the repeat.

Niccolò Machiavelli: History of Florence and of the Affairs of Italy

You’ve, I sincerely hope, read The Prince. That is, of course, a master treatise on the accumulation and wielding of power. The History of Florence, recently repeatedly recommended by Mr. Day, explains in great detail what happens when the power falls apart, taking civil order with it to the dustbin of history. 

The first part of the text rapidly covers the fall of Rome and the Dark-Middle ages, particularly as to the constant changes in Italy. An astute reading will help explain, not only what happened then, but also what has happened to the United States more recently. The potential transition from societal strength to weakness is explored:

Hence, wise men have observed, that the age of literary excellence is subsequent to that of distinction in arms; and that in cities and provinces, great warriors are produced before philosophers. Arms having secured victory, and victory peace, the buoyant vigor of the martial mind cannot be enfeebled by a more excusable indulgence than that of letters; nor can indolence, with any greater or more dangerous deceit, enter a well-regulated community.

Cato was aware of this when the philosophers, Diogenes and Carneades, were sent ambassadors to the Senate by the Athenians; for perceiving with what earnest admiration the Roman youth began to follow them, and knowing the evils that might result to his country from this specious idleness, he enacted that no philosopher should be allowed to enter Rome.

Yes, we are mindful of concurrent examples like Socrates. Yet, a nation-state founded by Enlightenment-influenced philosophers was probably destined not to last nearly as long as the Western Roman Republic and Empire. Hint, hint.

The rest of the book largely revolves around what became of the various competing cities and regions of Italy, naturally as seen from the academically-contracted seat of Florence. This could – and “could” is a loose and dangerous word – help an intelligent student predict what may become of the remains of that nation-shaped kind of place sometimes still known as America. In short: it’s time to find your tribe and your tribe’s place in the mix. As Machiavelli makes utterly clear, demographics is destiny. The fact that this iron law is challenged by the current luciferian elites proves its truth and value. Ask yourself: Do I trust Machiavelli, and through him, Cato, Cicero, Livy, et al; or, do I trust Ben Shapiru and the paid-off morons on the idiot box? Please be careful in considering, as your answer might have a stern bearing on the lives of your descendants (if any).

Also, consider why you might have never heard of this book before: if ‘they” don’t want you to know, then you really, really need to. Given the prevailing, revealing economic conditions, the unbeatable price of this (500-year) time-tested work is an added bonus. You’re welcome. I believe that both of the following editions are based on a 1901 translation:

Free, in various formats, at Gutenberg.

Free, for Kindle.

Upon completing History, it would be wise to read Machiavelli’s Discourses on Livy and his Art of War. It might also be wise to regularly consult Vox Popoli. There’s still time, though not nearly as much as there was.

Now, if you’re among the Farceberg subliterate sect, then know that I’m still looking out for you. Thank you for making it this far! Here’s something more appropriate for those below the lower Hollingsworth line: “Try not to laugh…”

Also at TPC!

Nineteen Years Later

11 Friday Sep 2020

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Nineteen Years Later

 

It was a clear Tuesday morning. Driving towards another day in my second year of law school, I turned on talk radio as I sometimes did back then. In between discussion about things I can’t remember, they kept referring to an airplane which had struck one of the Twin Towers at the World Trade Center. The reference was almost light-hearted. They mentioned it was a smaller plane. They correctly recalled that, back in the Forties, a wayward B-25 bomber had lodged itself in the Empire State Building. I was interested but didn’t accord the event too much import.

All of that changed, soon after, with breaking news of a second plane hitting the other Tower. Perhaps you too remember the event. What you were doing and where you were. How you received the news.

I didn’t need W to stop entertaining school children and tell me, though he did anyway. A flying machine hitting a tall building is a possibility. A second occurrence within minutes is an attack.

My drive ended concurrently with 43’s short remarks and with my entry into a graduate parking lot. The very first person I saw and spoke with was a real Tom Ironsides character. I won’t say that “he knew,” but he did know a lot. Though at the time I didn’t connect the dots, the morning’s televised news synched with, if it did not confirm, his knowledge or suspicions. 

Nineteen years later, we have more suspicions than knowledge. 

A little over two months after the event that changed America’s nascent Twenty-first Century, I flew up to Washington on a 767 that I essentially had to myself. There, in the Yankee Capital, I met with and heard from some of the authors of the newly-enacted Patriot Act. During all the bluster, bragging, and war-whooping, they failed to disclose that the Act was drafted well before 9/11. Funny, that.

A little over a week after my DC excursion, I again flew north, to Boston. Over New York, exactly like the scene from THE SUBSTITUTE, the clouds parted, and I beheld lower Manhattan, still-smoldering rubble and all. The sight, smoke column aside, was pretty clear. Less lucent was why they, at the time so busy removing hundreds of thousands of tons of wrecked steel and concrete, carted all of it away for immediate smelting and destruction. In retrospect, it wasn’t the best forensic procedure. No mind. 

Back then, we’d only heard the barest mention of the many friendly foreign nationals being spirited away home, regardless of the conditions of their apprehension. Come to think of it, today we have heard little more.

We did hear much about the “new normal.” Sound recently familiar? We heard that things would never be the same again. We also got a load of civil liberty and general societal disruption not rivaled until the arrival of the hoax-ish Invisible Enemy, which was just as likely as not unleashed by the same people who helped take down WTC 1, 2, & 7. So many went along because it felt patriotic. It felt right. It took the focus off of the Anthrax hoaxes. It obfuscated lingering fears of the tech recession, now erased from official reports. There was more to occupy a frightened mind.

We heard plenty about war. War! War! Forevermore! And we got it. Them. Plural. Still in-progress after nearly two decades. In an event simply stiff with Israelis and Saudis, nineteen alleged attackers from Saudi Arabia and Egypt, operating in America, after transiting through Europe were blamed. Naturally, we attacked … Afghanistan and Iraq. Yes, there is a notable failure of logic in this entire episode. 

A few years after THAT DAY, I had lunch with a senior judge, an older, wiser man. We ate at the greasiest, and therefore best burger joint in town. The conversation turned to the war(s). He wondered out loud what was one positive thing America had gained from the adventures. A fine question, then and now. Let’s see. Trillions in fake debt money wasted? Americans maimed and killed by the thousands? Foreigners annihilated by the country-load? Complete loss of international order? Domestic police state? Blow-back attacks and migration invasion? What? But, again, no mind.

Much of this, or most of this, is, after so much time, forgotten. We have always taken our shoes off at the airport. We have always been at war with Syria. We have always submitted to credit checks at the bank. We have always obstructed investigations and concluded the same with a giant question mark. We have always blithely ignored comprehensive engineering reports. We have always wasted lives and money. And. So. On.

WTC, NYC, circa 1990. (Fuzzy) Picture by Perrin Lovett.

Next year will mark the twentieth anniversary of that great, horrific turning-point in Imperial history. Not that I’ll watch, but I expect the government and their media pets will pay homage to the austere meaning – of which most cannot truly imagine and only the insidious few truly understand. I’ll certainly have my say, such as it shall be. Nevertheless, the history of the fading United States shortens. Maybe someday, someone else will suspect less and know more. They might finally discover and explain. But, separated by time, they will not remember. Even now, do you?

Perrin Lovett is a right-wing Christian nationalist writer and author in the American South. He would like to concentrate more on fiction, and he would really like to see Western Civilization survive. He also has no use for the luciferian idiocy at Facebergbook. 

Goodbye, Mr. Banks

16 Sunday Aug 2020

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The world lost a legend last week. Bobby Banks, a heroic educator, and barber in Augusta, GA, died at the age of 87. I’m a little down about this and not sure how to begin, so I’ll just freestyle it.

Mr. Banks was formerly my barber, the greatest I’ve ever known, and a very good friend. He started cutting hair in another age while in the US Navy. He taught my parents in high school. Rather, he taught my Mother and tolerated Daddy. He was the principal at both my junior high and high schools, back when both were concerned with education. As luck wouldn’t have it, he skated ahead of me by a year or two. I never had the privilege of getting in trouble with him.

We had long talks about education. I know much about his time in the schools and his retirement. We spoke frankly about the changes over the years. He was the kind of man the public schools desperately need today (or needed 25 years ago) but which they simply will not have anymore. He was happier as a barber anyway.

He was fantastic with the blades – one of several business ventures he maintained. He was the real deal: providing manly cuts with razor-close precision, unafraid to perform a little impromptu surgery the way they did 200 years ago – usually without consulting the patient first. “Did that sting?”

I know tons of people who loved him in his academic role. The stories about his demanding, caring, off-beat, and semi-scofflaw ways are legion and legend.

“Where do you think y’all are going?”

“To Burger King, Mr. Banks. We can’t stand school today.”

‘Me either. Let’s go.”

He bent rules to do the right thing.

“You boys will be sorry you broke those windows.”

“We are sorry, Mr.—“

“The cops are coming! Shut up and get in my trunk!”

He was too good, especially for what’s become of the local ed scene. Back then, things, scores included, looked up, not down.

I got to know him in ways many students did not. He cut my hair before my wedding. He’d humor my daughter’s instructions and then cut my hair the way he always did. When Daddy was sick and dying and couldn’t leave the house, Mr. Banks made a house call – I know of no other barber who does or did. The connection was multi-generational. He proudly told me that his father and my grandfather used to raise and fight gamecocks together (back when America was a free country). He’s the only person I’ve ever lent my vintage cockfighting manuals to, the only one who was interested. The only one who, or one of few, who knew what Grit ‘n Steel was. He’s the only other man I ever knew who had one of Ethan Allen’s rare Bicentennial wall rugs – his copy hung in the shop at Daniel Village.

They don’t make them like they used to and I’m not sure they ever made another like him. All good things and people come to an end, even the very best. My condolences to his wife, family, friends, co-workers, and community left pooer by his passing, though richer for the knowing.

Farewell. Rest in Peace.

LIBERTY DAY (from TPC)

08 Monday Jun 2020

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IT’S LIBERTY DAY!

June the Eighth

Last Thursday, June 4th, as any paperwork American or public school history student could tell you, was the 76th anniversary of D-Day. Then, thousands of American men were wounded or killed in the late stages of the second phase of the Great Civil War of the West. With massive Soviet assistance, their compatriots and allies went on to claim victory. The celebrations and remembrances were muted this year due to our cities burning and the plague and so forth. Perhaps general interest wanes.

Similarly, not so many folks know the significance of today, the 53rd iteration or anniversary of Liberty Day. It was a time just after the horrific changes of 1965 and just before the abortion of 1973, another day of unprecedented events of American military and cultural history.

This day honors the valiant, if tragic combat trials of the USS Liberty, AGTR-5. She was probably the most advanced surveillance warship (a Technical Research Ship) of her day, a model of Navy and NSA efficiency and ingenuity. Unmistakable in appearance, she bore her numbers prominently and, with her unique, multi-antenna design, she resembled no other vessel in the world.

On the afternoon (local time) of June 8, 1967, a Thursday, while cruising lawfully and peacefully in international waters, she and her crew were suddenly attacked by a determined and vicious opponent. Barrage after barrage came from the sea and the air. During the hellish whirlwind, she withstood 30 mm cannon fire, rockets, napalm, and torpedoes. 34 Americans were killed and another 174 were wounded. Though the ship herself – due to the heroic efforts of the crew – remained afloat, she was unsalvageable, being decommissioned the following year.

This incident was a first (and only) in American history. Never before had a Navy ship come under an unprovoked attack without warranting a suitable counterattack. Liberty successfully radioed the Sixth Fleet and a rescue force was dispatched from the USS Saratoga. However, as has never happened before or since, the US fighters were recalled under direct orders from the accursed and surely damned Secretary of Defense, Robert McNamara. Neither he nor the bloated and wicked Lyndon Johnson had any use for their own servicemen. No retaliatory action was ever taken against the hostile foreign country which almost, pursuant to their plan, destroyed and sank an American ship.

The results for the crew were mixed at best. While they were sternly ordered, under penalty of Court Martial, not to speak about their harrowing travail, they were quietly and belatedly commended for their efforts. 

WHEN “KAREN” MET A “JOGGER” — LOL

This episode would have been worthy of a Johnny Horton ballad, had he not died in 1960. Imagine, if you will, something along the lines of The Sinking of the Reuben James, Sink the Bismarck, or John Paul Jones. Here, out of respect for the dead, the warriors, and the artist, I won’t even attempt one of my spoof covers. 

The ship’s awards include:

The Medal Of Honor, Commander William McGonagle;

11 Silver Stars;

20 Bronze Stars;

200+ Purple Hearts;

The Combat Action Ribbon; and,

The Presidential Unit Citation.

She remains the most decorated Navy ship for single combat engagement. Oddly, Johnson, may he burn in hell, didn’t see fit to personally present the awards. Unlike previous (or subsequent) heroes, these brave men were not invited to the White House. They didn’t receive the Unit award until 1991 when George “The Vomiter” Bush saw fit to kind of toss it at the survivors as his limousine whizzed by. All ceremonies were clandestine and the name of the hateful enemy was purposely omitted. (Imagine a D-Day commemoration without mention of Nazi Germany). The events were long hidden from the public; odds are, this is the first time you’ve heard the tale, no? There also has never been a formal inquest. Many and dastardly firsts.

There is a semi-credible rumor, a theory that the attack was a related diversion, orchestrated by Johnson (who was just the kind of guy to do such a thing), that was supposed to be the kick-starter for something much worse. Again, Johnson would have been the one. Yet, we’ll leave that, for now, to the speculative or to your own research. Either way, it was another day of infamy, buried under decades of further infamy.

Many never knew. Some know and denigrate this important chapter of our history. Among the latter-day trash, is worthless neo-con dipshit Charlie Kirk, who dismissed the attack as a “conspiracy theory.” Dishon. Dan Crenshaw won’t even publicly discuss or acknowledge the date of the incident. Yet and still, there were investigations of limited scope. Excuses were given. Some apologies made. Secretary of State Dean Rusk and Admiral Thomas H. Moorer of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, among many others, concluded unequivocally that the attack had been deliberate, intended to destroy Liberty, kill her crew, and entangle America in another war. A friend of mine was, upon a time, close friends with Admiral Moorer. He also met with several survivors. None of them thought there was anything theoretical about the attack – in the premeditated murderous conspiracy or in the lethal action.

We owe more than can be imagined to Liberty’s brave crew.

If you would like to further honor the men of Liberty, or if you would like more information about the chief incident of 6/8/67, then please contact the following:

James E. McPherson

-or other-

Acting Secretary of the Navy

Office of the Acting Secretary of the Navy

1000 Navy Pentagon, Room 4D652

Washington, DC 20350

703-697-7391

secnavpa.fct@navy.mil

 

-or-

 

Embassy of ISRAEL

3514 International Drive N.W.

 Washington, D.C. 20008

202-364-5500

info@washington.mfa.gov.il

 

Tell them that we will never forget – not the attack, not the ship, not the crew, not the cover-up. Further, learn about our fading American history, especially the parts that the agents of evil would rather you never discover. Remember the Liberty! Or, ignore her and let the battle be a metaphor for the strafing of America.

 

ORIGINAL AT TPC

This Week

07 Sunday Jun 2020

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We have a great TPC/PL column scheduled for tomorrow in honor of the chief historic incident of the date. You’ll enjoy it.

And, I’ve finished UNSCHOOLED by Kerry McDonald. I made around 169 notes, so I’ll have to shift through before I can review it in full. It’s good.

Until then, P

Desperate BREXIT Lies

04 Tuesday Feb 2020

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A little too late, don’t you think? The globos dredged up all manner of untruth to try to stifle the will of the British People – stock collapse, no healthcare, no food, blah, blah. Now, they resort to the most unusual, ridiculous, and woefully belated attempt:

The U.K.’s worst productivity slump in a quarter of a millennium may be caused by a “perfect storm” of three factors, according to a study to be published this week.

Productivity was almost 20% below its pre-2008 path in 2018 — the worst slowdown since 1760-1800, as the Industrial Revolution took hold. The present-day malaise may have been caused by the end of the information and communications technology boom, the financial crisis, and Brexit.

BREXIT!!! See the graph – which, by the way, shows a productivity INCREASE over the past ten years, even with some separation from the general employment. Shock. And, it’s ten years. How could BREXIT factor – again, see the graph – into an increasing “decline” that started long before Leave cranked up? It didn’t.

Hint for GB: when you commence the repatriations, make damned sure to ship the wizards out first. That by itself would raise productivity, spirits too.

The War on WAR

30 Thursday Jan 2020

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Vox Day covered this a while back, but I thought it was worth mentioning again. Ethan Arsht calculated the “win above replacement” scores for generals throughout history.

The Results
Among all generals, Napoleon had the highest WAR (16.679) by a large margin. In fact, the next highest performer, Julius Caesar (7.445 WAR), had less than half the WAR accumulated by Napoleon across his battles. Napoleon benefited from the large number of battles in which he led forces. Among his 43 listed battles, he won 38 and lost only 5. Napoleon overcame difficult odds in 17 of his victories, and commanded at a disadvantage in all 5 of his losses. No other general came close to Napoleon in total battles. While Napoleon commanded forces in 43 battles, the next most prolific general was Robert E. Lee, with 27 battles (the average battle count was 1.5). Napoleon’s large battle count allowed him more opportunities to demonstrate his tactical prowess. Alexander the Great, despite winning all 9 of his battles, accumulated fewer WAR largely because of his shorter and less prolific career.

An impressive dataset and methodology, wherein the author admits to various flaws. Still, the peanut gallery had plenty to say – “What? Lee wasn’t that great?!” “You cite bad sources, sir!” – without offering a better model let alone building one. All very interesting.

TIME to Ditch that Magazine?

01 Wednesday Jan 2020

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We’re getting to be about as close to Star Trek as we area away from antebellum slavery. Still, of the latter TIME magazine can’t LET IT GO.

Americans are likely to think of New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day as a time to celebrate the fresh start that a new year represents, but there is also a troubling side to the holiday’s history. In the years before the Civil War, the first day of the new year was often a heartbreaking one for enslaved people in the United States.

In the African-American community, New Year’s Day used to be widely known as “Hiring Day” — or “Heartbreak Day,” as the African-American abolitionist journalist William Cooper Nell described it — because enslaved people spent New Year’s Eve waiting, wondering if their owners were going to rent them out to someone else, thus potentially splitting up their families. The renting out of slave labor was a relatively common practice in the antebellum South, and a profitable practice for white slave owners and hirers.

They’re also upset that blacks continue to go to church. About the level of Debbie Downering one would expect from a publication who chose Greta the human shield as last year’s prominent person. They lament the splitting of families temporarily in ancient history that everyone else had forgotten, but they would have no problem doing the same thing today, splitting up families, communities, and nations by sending half of all workers God-knows-where around the globe in pursuit of free trade.

On a positive note, I may have to re-read but I think they avoided blaming Donald Trump for breaking up slave families or for that attack on the church in New York. Hope?

The Great Tandem Vanishing Act

23 Monday Sep 2019

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The middle class is vanishing, by whatever measure one uses.

If you ask the mainstream media, they will tell you that about half the country is still middle class. In fact, a CNBC article that just came out says that “52% of American adults live in ‘middle class’ households”. Of course that is down from 61 percent in 1971, but considering everything we have been through in recent years, that still looks pretty good. But is it the truth? In the end, it all comes down to how you define “the middle class”. If I defined the middle class as anyone that makes from zero dollars to a trillion dollars a year, then 100 percent of Americans would be considered “middle class” by that definition. So we can’t just look at the final number they give us. Instead, we have to dig deeper and find out how they came up with the number in the first place.

The larger the household, the more income it takes to sustain a middle class lifestyle. And according to CNBC, the definition of a “middle class household” is extremely broad at every household size…

Household of one: $26,093 to $78,281
Household of two: $36,902 to $110,706
Household of three: $45,195 to $135,586
Household of four: $52,187 to $156,561
Household of five: $58,347 to $175,041

If you are single person and you are making just $26,000 a year, there is no way that you should be considered part of “the middle class”.

Ken Fisher would assure this is nothing but an accounting entry anomaly. Just part of our history – which is also vanishing.

If a ruling political establishment and its media organs offer lavish rewards of funding, promotion, and public acclaim to those who endorse its party-line propaganda while casting into outer darkness those who dissent, the pronouncements of the former should be viewed with considerable suspicion. Barnes popularized the phrase “court historians” to describe these disingenuous and opportunistic individuals who follow the prevailing political winds, and our present-day media outlets are certainly replete with such types….

World War II ended nearly three generations ago, and few of its adult survivors still walk the earth. From one perspective the true facts of that conflict and whether or not they actually contradict our traditional beliefs might appear rather irrelevant. Tearing down the statues of some long-dead historical figures and replacing them with the statues of others hardly seems of much practical value.

But if we gradually conclude that the story that all of us have been told during our entire lifetimes is substantially false and perhaps largely inverted, the implications for our understanding of the world are enormous.

*Poof*!!! Just gone…

Rescheduled TPC Article: Secrets of History

08 Monday Jul 2019

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*Note: The following was going to be this week’s TPC column. However, due to developments in the pizza Epstein case, I decided to run with that. I’ll link to the following in the new bit, which should come out in a day or two.

 

Revealed: Secrets of American History

 

No. 17: Donald Trump and the Ancient American Airports

Okay. Independence Day, like the namesake, has passed us by. I assume many of you are still reeling from all that barbeque and booze, er … freedom, so I’ll keep this light and easy.

Once again, it’s time for another installment of the old fan favorite CFF segment on the unknown side of American history. Here, I invite even non-American “citizens” of the United States Empire to participate – it’s just plain fun for everyone.

A little known fact, though not our primary lesson today, is that Brother Donald “MAGA 45” Trump and I are both 39 and ⅓ degree Masons. Due to his honorable elected status, he may add the additional title of “Grandiest Exonerated Schlemiel” whereas I simply answer to “Perrin the Most Somewhat-Free Mason Extraordinary of the Grandiose Order of the Holy Wirt of the Cause Celebre Cosmopolitan, Temple of the Ancient Wisdom and Something Else I Can Never Remember, Lord Knight and Night Defender, 39.33334.” (By the way, y’all: to be one, ask Donald).

Anyhow, as members of a secret level within a secret order, one of the great things we do is keep secrets. And, Donald, keeping a secret means NOT TELLING THE WHOLE DAMNED WORLD ABOUT IT!

I had heard that my fellow Exultant Potato planned a Yuuuge speech, rally, and show of military farce for the holiday. I paid little heed except for quipping that the heavy armor and gunships might be better deployed South in an effort to arrest the largest invasion in recorded human history. But, hey, what do I know?

None of it did I watch, and I would have completely written the whole thing off …. But! But, someone brought to my attention a SNAFU whereby one of those secrets was inadvertently revealed by the Carnival Barker in Chief, to wit:

“The Continental Army suffered a bitter winter of Valley Forge, found glory across the waters of the Delaware and seized victory from Cornwallis of Yorktown. Our army manned the air, it rammed the ramparts, it took over the airports, it did everything it had to do, and at Fort McHenry, under the rocket’s red glare, it had nothing but victory.”

-Bro. Donnie JT, praising the Continentals, circa 1775-1783 AD…

The New York Times, CNN, FOX, etc. had a field day with the idea that Washington and Co. “took over the airports” from the British. Bro Orange Man blamed a television or that mean old Army man from Forrest Gump or something. Tweets and Grams and whatnot flowed.

Now, the task has fallen to me to set straight this seemingly improbable anachronism…

Yes. America did, in fact, have an airport in the late Eighteenth Century. Technically, we had three of them, they just never got around to putting up a windsock down in Wilmington. The one Donald was foolishly talking about was located where stinks now present-day DC. And, it was at least one-hundred years old by the time of the Revolution.

The unpaved, though well-compacted and level runway was 6,666 feet long. It was built kind of across from where Reagan National is today, with its Northern approach terminating about where TJ’s Memorial currently sinks into the Potomac Tidal Basin. The spot was chosen because it was assumed that nobody would ever want to go near such a God-forsaken swamp. George II once remarked of the project and its mistakenly assumed permanent secrecy: “Heavens! Eveneth the savage red men goeth not there!” Were that it had stayed that way…

It’s not that the Colonials or the British had airplanes – they did not. Rather, the British, sometime during the mid-1600s, had the forethought to build airstrips in the event that self-propelled flying machines were re-invented sometime in the future. They choose remote locations in America so as not to arouse public suspicion. That, and I think they had some DOT budget to burn up. Spend it or lose it, right?

The whole scheme was the dying legacy of the last scientist of the Nuwaubian Moorish True Black Africans™ of Israeli Egypt. Previously cryo-frozen by the Romans, he was thawed and wakened by James VI in high hopes that he would share with the Crown some of that famed flying pyramid spaceship bullshit the Common Core history books push. To the King, he allegedly replied, “Nah Dawg. Crackas done stole our starship shit and lost ‘em. Y’all be waitin’ fo sum foo to run a law-moah injun [SIC] on a bedsheet at da beech sum deyz.” He continued, “But, I would be most happy to design for you a launch and landing space for just such craft.” And, he did.

By the time the great festivities of the War rolled around, all six aerodromes had been forgotten, each being submerged or else cluttered with discount outlets and fast food joints. The brave soldiers who “took” Hollaback Field, as it was originally called, didn’t know they were so doing. Instead, they were likely just looking to make change for the carwash. 

And, that’s the truth, the whole diversion, and nothing but a lie.

Next time, I think we shall examine the Southwestern Aztech-Spanish origins of those “nonexistent” nuclear-powered incineration rays, proffered without support during the death penalty phase at certain Nuremberg trials. That is, Trump Tweetin’ and the nukes don’t drop.

The Nukes did drop, legally speaking…