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PERRIN LOVETT

~ Deo Vindice

PERRIN LOVETT

Tag Archives: green space chickens

What’s New, 10/14/2015

14 Wednesday Oct 2015

Posted by perrinlovett in Other Columns

≈ Comments Off on What’s New, 10/14/2015

Tags

America, blog, books, green space chickens, Perrin

Today I posted double commentary on American society: Fall of the House of Gibson and We’re Number One.

I’ve also been working behind the scenes on a number of projects. The books are coming along; one, at least, shall be released soon. I have simplified my blog header with 3 sections: “About,” “Books,” and the old legal disclaimers. The rest was clutter and removed.

Please have a look at all of this and enjoy as usual. Great things are just around the corner!

Cigar Lunacy

06 Wednesday May 2015

Posted by perrinlovett in News and Notes

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

big ass cigar, Casa Fernandez, cigars, green space chickens, happiness, hobby, Kipling, Lunatic, Nicaragua, socialism, Top Shelf Cigars

Cigars are a hobby of mine.  I have written about them before and before.

Today I am happy to report that we have crossed a new frontier in cigar legend: the monstrous JFR Lunatic by Casa Fernandez (formerly Tropical Tobacco).  This is a TITANIC smoke – an 8 x 80(!) – and not for the faint of heart.

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(For comparison I placed a Lunatic next to JFR’s already massive 770 and a “normal” sized smoke – an Ashton VSG robusto.)

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(And, next to a book of matches.)

As the resident lunatic smoker of my home shop I was asked to review this beast. Russell kindly provided me with a free sample courtesy of Maritza of Fernandez.

I have smoked 80 ring-gauges before (such as the Asylum 6 x 80).  I found them decent in flavor and consistency but a bit unwieldy.  Damn near an inch and a half in width a standard 80 actually starts to hurt the jaw while smoking.  It’s reminiscent of a visit to the dentist involving one of those devices which holds the mouth open.  JFR has cured this by producing the Lunatic in a tapered or “pyramid” design.  The cap end is about the size of a 60 RG.  This makes the smoking process itself easier.

The taste is excellent – the same blend as ordinary JFRs.  The cigar is well constructed and burns evenly.  One distinct problem, though, is that the smoke does not hold it’s ash well.  The ash produced is a clean, light gray color but after half an inch or so it but be tapped off in order to prevent an accident.  With such a ridiculous girth the center of the ash is still active and could cause a burn if it fell off inadvertently.

Another problem (or benefit) of the Lunatic is the smoking time required.  The smoke is immediately flavorful with no bitterness.  It has a woody, earth Nicaraguan taste which is consistent.  However, I estimate it would take at least three hours to finish this monster.  Theoretically, it might take up to four hours.  This is great for a fishing trip but might be overwhelming for average afternoon enjoyment.  Again, I must warn that is not a stick for novices.

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(Not a beginner cigar.)

In the end this may be too much of a good thing.  I will likely stick with routine 6 x 60s and 7 x 70s for heavy flavor delivery.  However, I did like the Lunatic immensely (pun…).  I don’t have a rating system but I do like it.  My description herein should suffice for you to make your own decision.  I suspect this novelty will remain just that and only available for a short time or in limited quantity.  For an estimated $10 it is really a bargain.

Of course, if you must have a GIGANTIC smoke look no further than Indigo’s Chief.  At a foot and a half long it should last all day and then some.  Good luck finding one.  Better luck finishing one.

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(As crazy a comparison as may be made…)

Whatever the size or flavor, remember,

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(Yes, Rudyard, a good cigar is a smoke.)

For the skeptics and haters:

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(The real lunatics are politicians and their enablers.  Put that in your pipe and smoke it).

Happy smoking!

Hertz Films You in the Driver’s Seat

18 Wednesday Mar 2015

Posted by perrinlovett in News and Notes

≈ Comments Off on Hertz Films You in the Driver’s Seat

Tags

Big Brother, cameras, cars, government, green space chickens, Hertz, law, no freedom anymore, privacy, surveillance

Lately I’ve been harping on spying, hacking, drones, etc. a bit more than I might.  But, darn, things these days are just ridiculous.  Just when one thinks Big Brother can’t get any more intrusive – Hertz puts cameras in its rental cars!

The rental car giant has a little navigation device in some of its cars called NeverLost. Some of these units are equipped with a camera which is capable of filming the inside of the car.  “Hertz added the camera as a feature of the NeverLost 6 in the event it was decided, in the future, to activate live agent connectivity to customers by video.”

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(Every turn you make, every call you take…  Fusion.com.)

Of course, it will only be used to “help” hapless drivers – clovers on vacation.  They would never spy on you, record your doings, or pass said recordings along to our benevolent friends in the government.  “See Judge, the defendant was eating a cheeseburger when he sped through the red light.  Here’s a video!”

This is getting out of hand.  Remember, the next time you rent a car play the radio really loud and put some electrical tape over the little camera in the dash.  Then again, that would probably violate some idiotic law – the Interstate Rental Car Secret Surveillance Security, Anti-Terrorism, and Education/Agriculture Banking Act of 2015…  Geesh…..

 

 

The Middle Class, The Internet and Bos Taurus Dung

21 Wednesday Jan 2015

Posted by perrinlovett in Legal/Political Columns, News and Notes

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

America, bullshit, government, green space chickens, middle class, Obama, regulation

This morning the front page of the Augusta Chronicle reported that President Obama vowed, during his State of the Onion chat, to help the middle class.  I did not watch this speech nor the Republi-con response (had to have one).  I haven’t wasted time on these yearly debacles in, well, years.  However, experience has taught me that a politician always means the exact opposite of what he says.  Ergo, the middle class has been targeted for destruction.

The middle class has been under assault for decades.  Two of my favorite websites, http://endoftheamericandream.com/ and http://theeconomiccollapseblog.com/, regularly feature stories about the dramatic decline of the American middle class.  They seem to be run by the same man (or men); they are very fond of lists.  “27 Facts That Show How The Middle Class Has Fared Under 6 Years Of Barack Obama,” and so forth.  Give a few of these a read after you consider Deflate-gate and the racial ramifications of “SELMA.”

Remember, this is the man who said your health insurance costs would go way down if not disappear entirely.  Looked at that withholding statement lately?  Whatever Barry said, let’s assume it may be the death knell for the middle class…

I also read somewhere recently that the Obama regime wants to help us by regulating the internet.  This all reminds me of a hack speech I did watch, years ago, wherein Bill Clinton and Newt Gingrich jointly expressed their resolve to “help us.”  They didn’t.

I guess the new internet rules (laws, orders? who cares…) will do for the web what the TSA did for ease of air travel or what the Department of Education did for schooling.  I would educate myself this scheme if I thought it mattered.  Washington does as Washington wants so we’ll just have to accept whatever they “give” us.  Who knows, this blog may soon contain a header advising potential readers they have to pass through a metal detector or pat-down prior to reading further.

Thank God for democracy; you can consult one of your elected representatives to explain these plans to you in detail.  I myself recently visited with several members of Congress.  I took a picture:

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(Look at those thoughtful faces.)

 

Cigars on Deck

03 Saturday Aug 2013

Posted by perrinlovett in Other Columns

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

Augusta, cigars, green space chickens, Perdomo, Top Shelf Cigar Shoppe

Summer is in full swing and it’s time for a cigar!  Okay, this summer it seems it’s either crazy hot or raining buckets.  What is the discerning outdoor cigar smoker to do?  Sit in the garage?  The wife will still nag about smoke magically seeping through the walls.  Light up in the car?  That’s not very comfortable.  Puff away under an umbrella?  You get the idea.  On a hot and humid day or a really wet day it’s extremely difficult to enjoy a fine cigar in the great outdoors.  Or it was…

Today you can smoke a stogie outside, rain or shine, in complete comfort!  My good friend, Russell Wilder, has raised the bar even higher by adding a beautiful and spacious covered outdoor deck over at Top Shelf Cigars!

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Check out this beauty!

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Here’s the view from inside:

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Take another look; cool and comfortable!

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The deck, just like everything else Russell does, is top-notch.  The whole area is furnished with comfortable chairs and plenty of tables for all your needs.  You’ll find ashtrays, cutters, and lighters ready to go.  Unlike at some other tobacco “shops,” on-site cigar enjoyment is actively encouraged here.  Stop by and try something new like a Perdomo Champagne Sun Grown or a tried and true favorite like an Ashton VSG.  Whatever you want, you’ll find it in the area’s largest and most luxurious humidor.

When fall ushers in cooler days, the deck will be the perfect place to enjoy a smoke and a spiced beer.  Should winter deliver a rare snow, the fun can go on in style.  Top Shelf is now the home of the ultimate outdoor cigar venue!

Of course, to experience the Ultimate Ultimate experience, all one has to do is step inside – into the classiest smoke shop this side of Park Avenue.  For an outline of what you can expect, check out my older Top Shelf story.  But, again, don’t take my word for it.  Stop in and see for yourself!  Pay Gerald, Sarah, Tom, Matt, Jake, and Russell “Cigar Man” Wilder a visit.  You’ll be glad you did.

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(Top Shelf Cigars: Augusta’s ONLY name in cigars!)

Leaks, Lies, and Laws; the Evening on June 10th, 2013…

10 Monday Jun 2013

Posted by perrinlovett in News and Notes

≈ Comments Off on Leaks, Lies, and Laws; the Evening on June 10th, 2013…

Tags

Amerika, crime, DUI, Edward Snowden, Fourth Amendment, green space chickens, history, Liberty, NSA, sheep

Even as memory of the old American Republic fades away into the oblivion of history, the descendants of the Great Experiment have a hero.  Edward Snowden has sacrified everything in the name of freedom.  This should give modern Amerikans something to ponder come July 4th.  Most probably will not.  Read a little more: http://ca.news.yahoo.com/u-whistleblower-drops-sight-faces-legal-battle-192837160.html.

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(Snowden has pledged his life, his fortune, and his sacred honor for Liberty.  What have you done lately?)

The fascists nuts have already called for his head.  Some want him executed, though this presumes a trial of some sort.  They are living in the past.  More up-to-date neo-con nuts are talking about “disappearing” Snowden.  That means death by torture at some secret CIA prison or by Hellfire missile.  No need to bother a judge or jury that way.

The revelations Mr. Snowden has bravely given us of late are disturbing or, at least, would disturb earlier Americans.  However, the information is nothing new.  The government has been intercepting, recording, and reviewing almost all electronic communications since the 1990s.  Remember Echelon and Carnivore?  The freedom-minded should.  Most will not.  Prism is just a newer, better system.

The system just keeps getting bigger and better and it will thus continue.  As recently as three or four decades ago someone would have raised the Fourth Amendment amidst all the discussion.  Not now.  The Constitutional protections enjoyed by previous generations are gone.  I imagine with all this rain the new grass on the Fourth’s grave (see: Swabbing the Fourth Amendment)  must be very green.  Hopefully someone will mow it from time to time.

Dianne Fienstink, Saxby Shameless, Lindsey Sham, and the Criminal in Chief say we have nothing to worry about and that we should be grateful the Empire is watching out for us (by watching us).  Everything these people say is a lie.  They’re quotes are irrelevant and will not appear on this site.

On to happier topics!  Did you know in Arizona swimming at a gym qualifies one for a DUI??  Read on about the ordeal of one Jessie Thornton of Surprise, AZ (town seems to live up to the name…): http://cleveland.cbslocal.com/2013/06/10/man-charged-with-dui-despite-blowing-000-during-breathalyzer-test/.  Like due process, evidence is a thing of the past in Amerika.  At least Thornton was eventually released once the revenue farmers admitted they made a mistake.  Increasingly, they just kill their victims instead.  He was lucky.  And, hey!  It’s 2013.  Let’s give the “driving while black” BS a rest.  Snowden (or me or you) might be driving when the Predator locks on.  It’s all of us nowadays, folks.

A while back I did a piece on Georgia’s Operation Rolling Plunder – a systematic raping of the rights of the motoring public.  Today, the local fish-wrapper ran a story of their own about the issue: http://chronicle.augusta.com/news/crime-courts/2013-06-09/operation-thunder-pinpoints-traffic-problems?v=1370829896.  If you bother to read the “article,” you’ll notice the complete deference to the lies of the government and the total absence of any opposing view.  Half of the comments after the article are from government worshipers who “would gladly stop for more [illegal roadblocks].”  They thank the stormtroopers for “making us safe.”  Well, good on the other half, at least!  Highway tip: avoid traveling in Georgia if you can.  By the way, you might have noticed there were more citations for child seat “violations” than for DUIs.  Keeping us safe – like sheep in a fence.

More to come soon.  This post was brought to you by the NSA, the Illuminati, and the Governor’s Council for Sheep Safety.

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(Keeping Ewe safe on the roads…)

Spam: Got a Heap and Selling it Cheap!

16 Tuesday Apr 2013

Posted by perrinlovett in Other Columns

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

filter, green space chickens, Jessical Biel, kinky dirt, soul/sole paradox, spam, tooth development

To lighten up the mood a bit after yesterday’s horrors I present more funny tales from the spam filter.  Once more, here follows real spam messages I withstood in blogville and my hypothetical responses thereto:

Spam

(Mmmm mmmm.  Google, good.)

From Aurelio Hurtgen: “Dude.. I am not much into reading, but somehow I got to read lots of articles on your blog. Its amazing how interesting it is for me to visit you very often. -”

My Response: Dude!  It’s like totally awesome!  Reading is for nerds, dude.  You are interesting for visits and reading of article blogs.  Delete!

From keercalibralo: “By a whisker focused means that you are writing there something specific. Do not pick a topic on which you could gather column a book. As a substitute for of abortion, a postcard on every side a unambiguous county abortion clinic and its bearing on the neighborhood. In preference to of the coppers harassment, write about the behavior of the supervise on your impediment or in your reflex neighborhood. Focusing your field beginning and frequently want conserve you straightaway at near better directing your research. A focused point also leads to a focused paper. The only obsession worse than discovering that you spent four hours at the library decision superfluous bodily is putting that facts into your paper impartial because you inaugurate it.”

My Response: Uuummm.  Okay.  Let’s see…. An unambiguous postcard abortion of the book whisker…  How do I supervise that impediment?  I don’t know what “inaugurate” means here, but I will do my best to hereafter conserve on the straightaways.  Promise.  Delete.

From general: “I enjoy what you guys are usually up too. This sort of clever work and coverage!
Keep up the excellent works guys I’ve included you guys to blogroll.”

My Response:  Sir! I appreciate email from high-ranging officials, SIR!  I regret that there is only one …”guy” here.  No guys.  I’m sure you’ll be pleased to be an excellent work yourself, in this post, Sir!  Delete, on the double!

From Lon Mericle: “Music began playing when I opened this web page, so annoying!”

My Response: The music is a deterrent feature just for people from snoreaid.org.  Only you can hear it!  It’s in you head, man.  I have strange powers.  And, thanks to being physically fit, I do not snore.  Delete.

From yaz lawsuits: “As the admin of this web site is working, no uncertainty very soon it will be famous,
due to its quality contents.”

My Response: Soon it will be famous?  Soon?  I’ll have you know I get 3 or 4 hits per month!  I’m famous today!  I’m the hardest working admin in cyberspace!  Sorry about the lawsuits.  I guess that’s what comes from trying to kill little babies.  Delete.

From Ahmad Barresi: “I do not even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was good. I don’t know who you are but certainly you’re going to a famous blogger if you aren’t already ;) Cheers!”

My Response: I see you’re from snoreaid also.  Enjoy the music???  See the response.  Going to be famous.  Ha!  You kill me!  And now, I delete you…winky…

From YhgKFIdHjH: [I didn’t paste the text due to over linkiness.]  They offer 50 mg of yahoo..

My Response: GhyeFgethYu.  Google 100 mg.  Twice.  Daily.  With food.  Alcohol may intensify effect.  Delete.

From how to get pregnant fast: “You actually make it seem so easy along with your presentation but I to find this matter to be actually something that I think I’d by no means understand. It kind of feels too complex and extremely wide for me. I am looking forward on your subsequent put up, I will try to get the grasp of it!”

My Response:  Are you talking about the blog or how to get pregnant?  I appreciate the kinky innuendos but I’ll have to delete.  Delete.

From best Penis Enlargement: “I’m still learning from you, time I’m rising myself. I absolutely liked city everything that is holographic on your parcel.Cook the tips coming. I favourite it”

My Response:  Hell yeah!  I always bring my readers the best – posts or penis enlargements… We’re all learning here.  It’s like a low rent city college next to a massage parlor.  You keep rising and I’ll keep the holograph coming (with a “u”??).  Yuck…..  Delete.

From Adult Webcams: “Wonderful article! That is the type of information that are supposed to be shared across the net.
Disgrace on Google for not positioning this put up upper!

Come on over and consult with my site . Thank you
=)”

My Response:  You should get together with the last spammer.  Google can up upper my no-so-fat-anymore butt!  I charge $100,000 per hour to consult with spammers and virus peddlers.  Send gold first as payment.  Til I have the gold, delete.

From Uncover The Truth About Someone: “I would like to show my thanks to the writer just for rescuing me from this difficulty. Because of surfing throughout the the web and getting recommendations that were not powerful, I figured my life was over. Being alive minus the answers to the problems you’ve sorted out by way of your article content is a crucial case, as well as those that could have badly damaged my career if I had not discovered your blog. Your main training and kindness in maneuvering the whole lot was useful. I’m not sure what I would have done if I had not discovered such a subject like this. I’m able to at this point relish my future. Thanks for your time very much for your skilled and effective help. I won’t hesitate to refer your blog post to anybody who requires support about this subject.”

My Response:  I enjoy uncovering the truth about spammers and then paying them a visit in the dead of the night.  Bwwwhhahahahaha!  Seriously, I’m glad I saved your life and career.  Can I use this as a testimonial?  Relish that future, baby, like a hotdog at the ball park.  Put some mustard on there and get a beer!  Delete.

From Tamar Jennings: “I severely delight in your posts. Thank you Tamar…”

My Response:  I work extra hard to ensure severe delight in all my victim…readers…  I have a severe pain in my wrist.  I was punching the bag and …  oh, you probably already read about it.  Severely.  Delete.

From NahElaphy: “Children’s tooth development begins while the baby is in the womb. Teething usually occurs between the ages of six and nine months. Children usually have their full set of 20 primary teeth (milk teeth, baby teeth or deciduous teeth) by the age of three years. At about the age of six years, the first permanent teeth erupt (push through the gum).”

My Response: Gee thanks, Nah!  I write three or four times a week about the children and their tooth development.  Would you care to do a quest column?  Just send 200 pounds of gold along with you 5,000,000 word essay (none of which will be returned) and I’ll consider it.  Are some trees deciduous?  Delete.

From valarieuc1: “Porn Every heyday [web link] jessica biel … [many many dirty words…]

My Response: Vals, in our heyday, a bar of soap was applied to the mouth to rid the vocabulary of such filth.  Delete.  PS: Jessica Biel is hot!

Okay!  That’s all I can take for now.  Don’t you feel better?  Laughter is good for the soul.  The sole of a size 12 boot deletes the spam. 

Keep calm and spam on!

Hades’s Deposition

27 Wednesday Mar 2013

Posted by perrinlovett in Legal/Political Columns, Other Columns

≈ Comments Off on Hades’s Deposition

Tags

Atlanta, attorneys, civil litigation, clients, deposition, discovery, experts, green space chickens, scotch

A long time ago I participated in a complex civil litigation case which involved a construction project gone wrong.  The details do not really matter.  I represented the plaintiff in the matter.  The case was difficult enough but my client’s expert’s deposition added a new level of complexity I had not contemplated.

Depositions are factual statements taken under oath as part of the discovery/information process.  It’s a preview of the other side’s cross-examination of a witness at trial.  There are several reasons to depose a witness: first, it provides a oppourtunity to confirm what you know about a case; second, it gives you an idea of what the other side knows and if there any problems on the horizon; third, it sometimes provides a chance to settle a case without further expense.  The other side in this case had to depose our expert in order to assess where we all stood, pre-trial.

This particular case was very fact intensive with reports, statements, and other information in great quantity.  We had to associate an expert to evaluate all of the facts and condense them into a citable report.  The expert hired was a tier one professional who did not come cheap.  He spent days reviewing material and preparing his summary.  He also generated many questions, all important to our legal position.  These questions necessitated the client’s active participation in their answering.  For several months the expert requested this participation and was largely rebuffed.  The client was not unwilling to help rather, he always seemed to drift to other subjects and find excuses for delaying his responses.  We scheduled several (expensive) all day meetings intended to get the client on the same page with the expert.  The meetings never answered some questions.

Thus, the expert was left to guess at some factors and to do his best to assess the facts on his own.  He did a great job overall.  His report served as an excellent basis to proceed in the case.  At his deposition, he defended his positions with great skill, confident his findings supported the plaintiff’s position.

My role was to “defend” the expert during the deposition.  The other side was represented by two attorneys who both took active roles in the examination.  These gentlemen were extremely professional and the expert was not at his first rodeo.  Thus, my job should have been fairly simple.  In such sessions the defending attorney usually requests question clarification when necessary and objects for the record if some questions over-reach the allowable scope of discovery.  The questions may still be asked and answered, the objections take effect if called for later at trial.

Out of professional courtesy, everyone agreed to depose the expert at his metro-Atlanta office, several hours away from mine.  I arrived extra early to confer with the man and plan for any expected troubles.  We had a good meeting and agreed things looked pretty good.  The client was supposed to meet with us in a last-ditch effort to reveal misplaced information.  He showed up with little time to spare, along with the other attorneys and the court reporter.

The opposing side had read and were familiar with our expert’s preliminary report.  Their questions were efficient and run of the mill.  However, my client began at once to exhibit overly odd behavior.  He was restless, talked to himself, talked to me (interrupting my train of thought), and interfered with the questioning to the point that I politely requested a break to speak with him in private.  He then agreed to calm down.

It did not last.  After interrupting several more times, the questioning attorney directed his attention to my client’s disruption.  I once again took him aside for a talk.  It did not take this time.  The client seemed concerned that the expert was not answering certain questions sufficiently as those questions required the information the client was supposed to deliver to the expert but never did.  He was suddenly concerned that the expert did not have all facts.  I reassured him things were going well and asked if he had the additional information, even at the late hour.  He did not.  I cautioned him not to interrupt again and back we went.

Then, during the ordinary course of the questioning, the client went berserk.  He began to only talk (about the questions and other things).  He snatched my note pad and began writing me cryptic notes I did not understand.  I ignored him at this point.  Then he began to pace around the room like a tiger in a cage.  He stopped and talked behind the expert.  He looked over the other attorneys while they spoke.  He talked to the court reported.  I felt a little sick. 

At some point one of the opposing lawyers requested a break so I could attempt to regain control of my client.  I should have told him to leave or threatened to quite myself.  Instead, I pleaded with him to keep from getting himself held in contempt or somethingfor interference. 

We resumed after lunch and went on for the rest of the afternoon.  My client at least remained seated for the most part but he was of no help to me whatsoever.  Usually, a lawyer will ask a present client some questions in order to assist his understanding of the present matter.  I knew it was a lost cause.  I did request that we have a meeting immediately after the session, a get with Jesus prayer meeting, if you will.  He agreed.

However, after the deposition ended the client disappeared.  This did give me a few minutes to apologize to the other side and the reporter.  I assumed man-tiger had gone to his car for something.  I ended up in the expert’s executive office talking about the merits of the matter and the oddity of the day’s event.  Neither of us had ever seen anything like it.  After about an hour we realized our client had not joined us.  I got up and looked for him but found no sign of him in or outside of the office.  Honestly, I was a little relieved.  However, back in the expert’s office a few minutes later the client called.  He reported he was almost back to my office and that he knew where the missing facts were located.  I guessed that he did not, in fact, know anything about the facts and that he must be driving over 100 miles per hour.

My partner later reported to me that the client did stop by a little more than one hour after the deposition was finished.  He rushed in yelling and frightened several other clients.  He ransacked his own files and left muttering to himself.  No facts ever came forth.

Around this time the sun was setting and the expert and I were tired, numbed, and hungry.  We decided to get dinner and drinks.  I called a friend in the area and we all met at a local pub.  There I attempted triage of my mind via single-malt scotch.  It worked and after sobering up I made the long drive home.  By the time I was in the car my brain was dead and I probably would not have passed a road-side sobriety test even if I had not consumed anything.  I didn’t care at the time and, fortunately, there was no incident on the highway.  I stopped in the office after midnight and wrote myself a memo detailing the unusual circumstances of the day.

I learned several things from this affair.  Most importantly, I learned to identify disturbed clients before agreeing to represent them.  I also concluded that all clients needed extensive preparation before depositions with adequate warnings about proper conduct.  In cases like this one I decided the absence of the client would be in the client’s best interests.  I also reflected on the fact that people are not perfect and that patience is a virtue. 

In the end, thanks to the expert’s hard work, the deposition was a success for us.  I also came away a better attorney.  Subsequent depositions, no matter how arduous, didn’t seem that bad by comparison.  I hope you learned a little something from this story.  Maybe not.  Maybe I just needed to vent.  Anyway, always follow paid professional advice, keep quiet when necessary, and keep your speed reasonable.  My head hurts now…

Top Shelf Cigars

03 Sunday Mar 2013

Posted by perrinlovett in Other Columns

≈ 13 Comments

Tags

America, Augusta, business, cigars, dominos, Esteli, Florida, GA, green space chickens, humidor, libertarian, London, luxury, Masters, New Hampshire, New York, Nicaragua, Nick Perdomo, pipes, poker, Rudyard kipling, Russell Wilder, Southeast, tobacco, Top Shelf Cigar Shoppe

I like to help people.  I also appreciate good people and good services.  So, I have no problem whatsoever writing this column about my great friends at the Top Shelf Cigar Shoppe in Martinez (Evans [greater Augusta]), Georgia.  This is part of my continuing series on good businesses.

My family and I moved to Augusta about six years ago.  I needed to find a top-notch place to purchase and enjoy fine cigars.  There were and still are several tobacco businesses in the area, each unique in its own way.  However, when I first visited Top Shelf I knew I was “home.” 

Just about every city over 100,000 in population has at least one cigar shop.  Some are decent, others are good, some are great.  Top Shelf falls into the rare great category.  If you live in the area and enjoy fine cigars, I highly recommend a visit.  Find them on the web, here: http://www.topshelfcigarshoppe.com/.  If you’re visiting or just passing through, you’ll feel right at home.

Top Shelf is the brainchild and proprietary interest of Mr. Russell Wilder.  After retiring early, Russell knew he wanted to develop a special place dedicated to premium cigars and pipe tobacco.  He has more than accomplished his original goal, having built one of the most recognized and distinctive stores in America.  This has not been am easy process.  Often he reports to work before the sun rises and doesn’t leave until it is dark again.  He goes the extra mile for his customers and with his suppliers and employees. 

0906121812

(Russell and his boss.)

Russell regularly attends national conventions and trade shows and has a personal relationship with most of the major players in the modern cigar market.  Just the other day he returned from a trip to Esteli, Nicaragua and a visit to Nick Perdomo’s growing and production operation.  Nick and other cigar royalty have been quests at Russell’s shop over the years. 

I’ve been to cigar shop’s from Florida to New Hampshire.  The really good one’s are memorable because they get things right.  In addition to maintaining an inventory which works for the local market, owners must follow trends and design their stores to be as comfortable and enjoyable as possible.

Russell has had three different locations, each an improvement over the previous incarnation.  His original shop was in a shopping center.  As is (or was), it was an excellent place.  However, when the opportunity presented itself to move to a larger space where he could upgrade most of the shop’s features, Russell didn’t hesitate.  I helped move some of the stock and furniture from place to place as did most other “regulars.”  A great shop will always have at least a few regular customers on hand to demonstrate the quality of the business.

Last summer Russell made a quantum leap.  He bought his own freestanding building and moved his shop to its current location on Columbia Road.  This provides easy access from Washington and Wheeler roads, both major arteries, as well as access to Interstates 20 and 520.  There are some interior pictures of the new shop at the link above.  You may notice a rounder version of your’s truly in one of those – seated at the domino table with a few other vagabonds.

The new shop is a model of cigar industry environment and decor.  It features a giant, two-room walk-in humidor with dark wood and exposed brick trim.  The rest of the building (even the huge bathroom) is covered floor and ceiling in rich judge’s panelling and tongue and groove Arkansas pine.  The floor is a beautiful faux stone.  I played a small part in the remodeling of the new space, working several nights until late with a crew of other dedicated regulars to help Russell build his dream.  It was well worth it.  And, it says something about a man when so many of his friends and customers will pitch in on a construction project of that magnitude for free.  The greater portion of the credit for the new design goes to one Scott Kirby, who single-handed did about 80% of the interior work.  Everything you see is hand, scratch built.  The design rivals anything I’ve ever seen in the cigar best of any major city.  Think a luxury shop in New York or London.

0829121354

(Kipling in the humidor.)

Any liquor store with a license can sell cigars.  Some lower-rent aficionados go so far as to buy cigars on-line.  A great shop makes for a great experience.  Russell and his staff – wife Sharon (the real boss), daughter Sarah, Gerald, Tom, and Matt – know the business inside and out and can make tremendous recommendations and comparisons. 

Another critical facet of a successful shop is the smoking lounge.  As noted above, Top Shelf’s is trimmed in luxurious wood and stone.  It has three air-cleaners to keep the atmosphere breathable no matter how many cigars are being enjoyed.  There is spacious seating for many friends to gather in comfort.  Russell provides humidified lockers, a giant screen television with cable, a refrigerator, free coffee, and innumerable other services.  The lounge is usually busy any hour of the day, any day of the week.

As part of going the extra mile Russell offers many additional perks.  The shop is home to a premium club with meets at least once a month.  The meetings provide an entertaining opportunity for fellowship and the enjoyment of the latest cigars.  The shop also hosts a friendly poker game once a week (no cash).  Russell also is deeply involved in the community.  From his annual charity golf tournament to providing cigars to local businesses and clubs to keeping the smoke-loving patrons of the Masters happy, Russell is everywhere.

An arch-libertarian, Russell is happy to give his opinion on politics and economics to both his customers and friends as well as the local media.  Russell also has a keen sense for the stock market and is always dropping profitable hints to those who will listen.  This level of personal service is what puts Top Shelf above just about any other store in the Southeast.

Drop by for a visit if you can.  If not, scour your area for a shop with the traits I’ve listed here.  You’ll be glad you did.  Not a cigar lover?  Shame on you.  There is still time!

How I lost Over Forty Pounds And Started Changing My Life, Part I.

21 Thursday Feb 2013

Posted by perrinlovett in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

alcohol, Andrew Weil, breathing, changes, coffee, diets, excercise, fat, food, green space chickens, happiness, inversion table, muscle, sleep, stress, stretching, The Time Given, vitamins, water, weight loss, worry

Not long ago I posted a brief rant about losing weight, getting in shape, and threatening to steal a piece of exercise equipment.  That last bit cost me a visit and a stern warning from the Sheriff.  Luckily, in spite of my dieting, I happened to have several fresh donuts on hand.  Wheeew.

As of the last time I weighed in I have officially lost a little over 40 pounds!  That is a lot – almost as much as my daughter weighs.  I started out in late September at 238 lbs and after losing almost 17% of my original weight I’m down to just under 198.  It is the first time I’ve been under 200 in almost twenty years.  I hate to admit it, but back in 2007 I tipped the scales at 255.  At that point I knew I had a problem and I managed to shrink back a little though not nearly enough.

Like I said last time, what I’m doing is not a diet – it’s a life change.  Life is funny.  As a child I alternated between being tall and skinny one year and husky the next.  Luckily, around eight grade I evened out at mostly skinny.  In high school I began to lift weights in addition to those other activities that keep young people annoyingly in shape. 

Once I got to college I began to SERIOUSLY hit the weights, alternating between power-lifting and bodybuilding.  I also did a bit of trail running.  By the time I graduated I weighed in at around 230 muscular pounds.  Then for the better part of two decades I did absolutely nothing – except eat.  Gradually, my muscles gave way to rolls of fat, I started shuffling about, and I felt terrible.  I dieted for my wedding and several other times I made attempts to reclaim my former glory.  Each was a failure.  Why?  Because I didn’t really want to be fit.  Like any good American I wanted to take it easy, eat burgers, and drink beer.  No wonder we’re the most obese people in human history.

For the education of anyone else interested, I have decided to explain how I accomplished my recent success.  Please understand I am not a professional in this area.  I was a certified personal trainer in college but I never really made great use of that credential.  I am not in a position to relate scientific methodology here.  If you think you have a serious problem you may want to consult a doctor or a trainer.

If you are just ready for a change I suggest you start by reading this.  I am devoting a whole chapter in The Time Given to the subject also.  I would consult with your doctor just to be on the safe side.  Then maybe with his guidance you can work with a nutritionist or trainer.  Be mindful a lot of what I’m going to tell you is more mental and emotional than physical.  And, much of the physical stuff doesn’t sound like a training program either.  By the way, while this process has been fun for the most part, I have not found it necessarily easy. 

Having blabbed all that, let me set the stage for what I’ve done:

2012 was a very difficult year for me.  I found myself swamped by several of those great troubles that go along with life in the modern world.  Good things happened too, but good things often come with a stress all their own.  Mixing good and bad together day by day and month by month, I was “down” to say the least. 

In early September of last year I tried a big criminal case.  It had consumed much of my year and I ended up presenting before a Jury.  I thought my client was the most sympathetic individual on earth and the matter would be a slam dunk for us.  The Jury thought otherwise.  We lost.  I’ve tried lots of cases before and I have lost a few.  None stung like this one did.  I still can’t believe it happened the way it did and sooner or later I plan to tell that story of injustice to the enlightened public; I’ve contacted two heavy-weight freedom advocates for assistance.

Back in September I hit a low I’ve never experienced before.  I don’t think I talked to anyone or did anything for about a week.  Fearing I was slipping into major depression I consulted with my doctor.  It was during the appointment weigh-in that I discovered my heft; I had assumed I was something like 215 or 220 at most.  The rest of the appointment was a success.  The doc ordered me to make major changes if I wanted to improve my life station and my health.  What he said were things I really knew the whole time.  But, sometimes it helps to hear it from someone else.

I set out to make the change.  Maybe it was the lingering shock of the trial defeat and all else that had befallen me or maybe it was something else but, I immediately began to lose weight.  This was mainly due to the fact that I ate almost nothing.  I used to love to eat – anything and everything.  Back in college I could chow down on a whole large pizza and still maintain a healthy shape.  Things changed over time.  Big meals became my enemy. 

Now, suddenly, I had no appetite.  I wasn’t even hungry nor conscious of my lack of eating until one day when I developed a case of the shakes.  I then realized I had probably eaten twice in the past four or five days.  Realizing that wasn’t healthy I forced myself to nibble here and there.  The weight kept coming off.  People began to comment and ask what I was doing.  I honestly answered, “nothing.” 

Once I dropped into the 220s I made the decision to not simply decrease my calories (as was the case anyway) but to alter what I ate.  Between October and December I figure I cut those calories in half – down from 2500 to 3000 per day to about 1500 or so.  The weight kept coming off. 

I changed the food I ate.  Studies have shown that you can lose weight eating pure junk-food as long as you eat the right amount.  The numbers make sense.  However, I really don’t like junk food and I am suspicious of the long-term effects of such dieting.  I embarked into “healthy” eating.  Not carrot juice and tofu or the like.  I just cut out the crap – like sodas, heavy bread and pasta, and snacking.  I like meat and I eat a good variety.  Instead of having two pork chops as before, now I stop at one.  I like fruits and veggies and I eat a great variety of those.  All things in moderation.  I suppose the food part is a balancing act and each person’s needs are different.  I have stumbled upon what works well for me.  You might need that professional help I mentioned earlier.  If you do, don’t hesitate to get it.

Food is not the only important item of consumption.  Humans must have water to live and I drink a great deal of the stuff.  When I work out I drink H20 constantly.  I drink it at home and at the office and most other places.  Water performs many miraculous functions for the body and when you drink enough things are well-regulated. 

Speaking of drinks, over my lifetime I have developed a liking for strong coffee and excellent ale.  Coffee in the morning is a great pick me up.  However, I have found that one or two cups does the job fine – no need to drink a pot. 

Overconsumption of coffee and other caffeine products leads to the jitters, energy crashes, headaches, and it reeks havoc on certain natural body chemicals.  Not being a professional I still understand that too much caffeine inhibits cortisol production which slows down fat burning.  I may have got that all wrong but now that I drink less of the stuff I feel better and have more energy.

As for alcohol, I particularly like strong, dark and flavorful ales, porters and stouts.   I honestly enjoy the tastes of such beers and I find them a pleasant way to relax at the end of the day.  They also are a great source of calories, some are 300 to 400 or more per bottle.  The solution I have settled on, just like with food and coffee, is to cut back to a reasonable quantity.  Moderation.  If you have a problem with alcohol this is a great chance to get help, by the way.  The Bible talks about enjoyment in moderation.  If you can’t moderate, it’s probably best to abstain.

It’s funny.  Once you cut back on these things and get used to getting by on less, you don’t miss them at all.

In addition to drinking plenty of water I also take a complete multi-vitamin once a day to supplement any nutrients I might otherwise miss.  I have considered adding fish oil to the regime but I don’t know much about it and what I’m doing seems to work for me.

Let’s see.  We must have food or we die within about 30 days or so.  We can do without water for around 3 days.  Air!  We cease moving without air in around 3 minutes.  Everyone breathes subconsciously.  Did you know you can learn to breathe better?  I read Dr. Andrew Weil’s book Eight Weeks to Optimum Health and he discusses the importance of proper breathing and the techniques to do so.  They’re easy.  Essentially, it’s taking longer, deeper breaths of air.  This allows more oxygen to absorb into the blood.  The more oxygen in the blood, the better the body functions.  Deep breathing also performs the magic trick of killing stress.  Interestingly, de-stressing allows for better breathing.

I also decided to give up worrying.  It’s pointless.  I’m not completely there yet but The Time Given has another chapter dedicated to the issue.  Stress and worry feed off of each other and both take their toll.  Stress cannot be completely eliminated from life, indeed some stress is good for you.  You need to eliminate or counter the bad stress in order to be happy.  Plan and carry out those tasks necessary to get unpleasant things resolved.  Write off or hand off to God those things you simply can’t handle.  And, most importantly, don’t fret over any of it.  Laugh even.

Another stress and fat fighter so many modern people neglect is adequate sleep.  I sleep better now than I have in years.  The results are cumulative.  It’s also important to stretch daily.  Dogs and cats stretch all the time and pound for pound they’re usually more energetic than us.  Emulate them.  Stretching has all kinds of benefits.

The word count is getting up there and I haven’t even touched on the physical exercise part of my routine.  Next time I will discuss weight training, cardio training and really cool stuff like the steam room and that awesome inversion table.  I’ll also cover having more fun, being productive, avoiding negativity and making more positive changes.  Stay tuned!

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Perrin Lovett

From Green Altar Books, an imprint of Shotwell Publishing

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