06 Tuesday Mar 2018
Posted in Other Columns
Sunday, at the end of a heated political post, I kind of alluded to something about kicking off the new week with either music or cigars. Then, yesterday, I came right back with a heavy on … more politics and social decay.
Okay, okay, okay. Apologies.
To make up for it all here’s a Twofer Combo!
Brad Paisley, The Cigar Song, YouTube.
See? It’s music … about cigars…
The site will improve immediately. Later. Maybe with killer robots…
Enjoy!
Yeah, I smoke ’em one by one…
01 Thursday Feb 2018
Posted in Other Columns
Happy February 2018! I seems we’ve not had a cigar related post, here, perhaps all year. That cannot stand! So, I gladly present you with the following: maybe not directly on cigar point, but close enough.
From Taki’s Mag and Bunky Mortimer III: Up in Smoke:
Smoking is a physical pleasure that reminds us that life is not merely a physical affair. It is a debit against the health of the body that credits to the health of the mind. As such, in its own small way, it is a reminder of the afterlife. It is also part of a civilized terrestrial life, and European life in particular.
Please click the link and read the whole thing at Taki’s, they deserve the traffic. And we deserve the thoughts. (You DO read Taki, right?)
The article is primarily about cigarettes but we can safely extrapolate to cigars, maybe all the safer – not even sure about the debit side – the credit speaks for itself.
It’s a reminder that, in this day and age of signaling all manner of fake and frivolous virtue, the natural and finer things are frequently shunned. Black is white, up is down, war is peace, and so forth. Smoke it out, I say.
Mention is also made of P.G. Wodehouse (“WOOD-House”), Anglo-American humorist and tobacco user extraordinaire. Wodehouse’s work is set to make a comic return soon, via Vox Day’s Castalia/Arkhaven Comics division. (You DO read, right?!)
More Wooster, less Kartrashian.
And let’s have more like this:
2006 Forbidden X, baby!
13 Wednesday Dec 2017
Posted in News and Notes
≈ Comments Off on Giant Cigar Misidentified as Derelict Alien Spacecraft
Astronomers and cigar enthusiasts were recently startled and delighted to discover a 1 Million Ton cigar speeding through the solar system. Some are floating ridiculous ideas about it.
Today, scientists led by Stephen Hawking are using high-tech scanners to discover if a huge, cigar-shaped ‘comet’ is in fact, an alien probe.
Now, one astronomer claims that the space rock, named Oumuamua, could be an alien spacecraft with broken engines that is tumbling through our solar system.
Dr Jason Wright from Penn State University suggests that a broken alien spacecraft move in exactly the same way as the interstellar comet.
Oumuamua is about a quarter of a mile long, 260ft wide and currently travelling at 196,000mph.
Rather than moving through space like other space rocks, astronomers believe that it is ‘tumbling’ through our solar system.
Writing in his blog, Dr Wright, an associate professor of astronomy and astrophysics at Penn State University, says: ‘Such derelict craft would, if they are not travelling so fast that they escape the Galaxy, eventually ‘thermalize’ with the stars and end up drifting around like any other interstellar comet or asteroid.
“Oumuamua” just happens to be Norwegian for dark, oscuro leaf. Coincidence? Surely not.
That’s a giant cigar or I’ve never seen one. PA/Daily Mail.
For the ring gauge counters among you, the Oumuamua HYPER-Toro measures a galaxy-tipping 15,840 X 199,680! And you thought the Girthquake 11 X 90 was impressive…
Such a stogie can only be further proof that God exists, loves us, and wants us to be really, really, really happy. Just seeing the thing is enough to satisfy the curiosity. Catching it, at 196,000 MPH, would prove troublesome – as would clipping and lighting the thing. If you love it, let it go. Carry on, giant cigar, carry on. Godspeed.
There is, I suppose, a tiny chance we just witnessed a piece of long since malfunctioned alien technology. That, or a big rock.
And, speaking of things that rock, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the following:
Order your shirt or hoodie today to ensure delivery for Christmas. Order 3, or 10.
29 Wednesday Nov 2017
Posted in News and Notes
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Even The Goldman Sachs sees clouds forming:
A prolonged bull market across stocks, bonds and credit has left a measure of average valuation at the highest since 1900, a condition that at some point is going to translate into pain for investors, according to Goldman Sachs Group Inc.
“It has seldom been the case that equities, bonds and credit have been similarly expensive at the same time, only in the Roaring ’20s and the Golden ’50s,” Goldman Sachs International strategists including Christian Mueller-Glissman wrote in a note this week. “All good things must come to an end” and “there will be a bear market, eventually” they said.
As central banks cut back their quantitative easing, pushing up the premiums investors demand to hold longer-dated bonds, returns are “likely to be lower across assets” over the medium term, the analysts said. A second, less likely, scenario would involve “fast pain.” Stock and bond valuations would both get hit, with the mix depending on whether the trigger involved a negative growth shock, or a growth shock alongside an inflation pick-up.
I suppose fast pain beats slow and tortuous.
In related news, there was a large cigar:
A VERY large cigar.
Yikes!
21 Saturday Oct 2017
Posted in Other Columns
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Twice this month I’ve spelled “cigar” with an “S.” Nice ring, huh?
I’m sure Richard Overton would agree. Next time I’m in Austin (invariably discussing conspiracy truths with AJ) I may have to ask him about it. On the porch. At the house on Richard Overton Avenue.
I covered Mr. Overton, America’s oldest veteran, in June. He’s still 111 years old. Still in the same house. Still smoking 12 cigars a day. One might explain the others. He just got AC for the first time – probably related to maintaining 70/70 more than his own comfort. He doesn’t need it on the porch.
Dallas Morning News.
A super Saturday supercentenarian sigar story.
09 Saturday Sep 2017
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For a stick that’s been around a little while. Haven’t had one lately and I’ve never reviewed it. Brace yourselves.
de Silvio
“Working” on this report right now!
20 Thursday Jul 2017
Posted in Other Columns
≈ Comments Off on Uh … No.
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Rebel when you can…
04 Tuesday Jul 2017
Posted in Other Columns
≈ Comments Off on Fireworks for the Fourth
I’m just sitting out back tonight. The moon is waxing and a variety of fireworks, small and professional, are going off all around. It’s kind of nice.
According to this report, Americans love fireworks … and gluttony.
In keeping with tradition, cities across the country will launch fireworks after dark, perhaps the most emblematic way to commemorate July 4, 1776, when the American colonies’ Declaration of Independence from Britain was adopted.
The document enshrines the rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, which in many U.S. cities today involves competitions over how many hot dogs and hamburgers people can stuff down their throats in rapid succession.
In Washington, a hamburger restaurant challenges competitors to consume as many sandwiches as possible in 10 minutes, while in New York City, a seaside establishment stages a tournament that tests some of the world’s most formidable consumers of frankfurters.
Americans are expected to flock to beaches, especially in the West where the weather is hot and dry, while the eastern part of the country may see scattered thunderstorms.
In New Jersey, a budget battle halted nonessential services, forcing state beaches and parks to close, but lawmakers on Monday night ended the three-day-old state government shutdown.
On Sunday, while state beaches were still closed, however, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie managed to visit Island Beach State Park, prompting outrage.
Maine residents are facing a partial government shutdown as well, but its state parks remain open. They are two of nine states to miss deadlines for passing a budget.
Apparently they also love gross government incompetence and mismanagement.
The Old Lady on the streets of Philadelphia: “Mr. Franklin, what kind of government did you give us?”
B. Franklin: “A Republic, madam, if you can keep it.”
We couldn’t. Last I checked, beaches self-regulate without the need for state funding or interference. No mind. The television-addled, 70% obese post-nation stuffs those hot dogs and hamburgers down the collective throat. And the fireworks really are nice.
I, myself, also indulge. With an American by Alec Bradley.
Libertas Pretium!
-Perrin
04 Sunday Jun 2017
Posted in Other Columns
My friend, Graydon Brown, has taken a good concept to new heights in Georgia’s second city. He has Apathy Town’s newest (and only) brewery cranking out some of the coolest and most innovative craft beers in America. Brown, the Texan master with over 30 years experience, knows what he’s going and it shows. He also knows cigars.
I just sampled a few brews to include the IPA and the Brown Ale. Here is the Savannah River IPA, a cool but stout 7% ABV with an incredible distinctive flavor:
A lighter beer that pairs surprisingly well with a cigar!
After a few years of dawdling, pre-Graydon, the company is now in full swing. I suspect distribution is their main focus. I can’t really recommend a visit: sure it has to be nice but I won’t tell anyone to enter the deserted industrial zone ‘tween the ghettos in Southern Detroit. Of course, if you’re there, do stop in. I can recommend, however, trying to find these micros at better shops and bars near you. Right now that is limited to GA and SC (and I fear not even the good parts) but I would imagine the range will grow rapidly.
If you enjoy beer with actual taste, then these are right up your alley. They might even convert a few yellow water drinkers.
“Deep South High Hops.” “Bring it on Home.” Please do.
Cheers.
03 Saturday Jun 2017
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Want to live to be 111 and in reasonably good shape? Do this:
This is the life, the rituals of Richard Overton. He is America’s oldest living veteran (111 and not slowing).
Ashley Landis / Dallas Morning News.
He’s met celebrities and politicians and athletes, each asking him the same question about his secret to longevity. His answer? God and cigars.
American. Hero.
PERRIN LOVETT 
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