Congress, the Georgia General Assembly, and the United Nations have some competition in the running for world’s dumbest governing body. Meet the city commission of Augusta-Richmond County, Georgia: ten utter morons and one near-useless mayor. It is alleged that one member has a triple digit IQ but no one is certain which it is. The rumor could be a hoax.

The commission itself could be considered a hoax, and a very funny one, but for its propensity for unending dastardly deeds. Ages ago Georgia’s second city was governed by an all white good old boys club. Following integration and the introduction of some good old black boys, the body degenerated into a constant racial brouhaha. Now, fully diversified, the group serves no known noble purpose; their actions, mostly petty, serve their own pathetic needs. The public, largely uninterested, is largely ignored. Again, but for brooding evil, this would be an appropriate relationship.

While normally content to lavish themselves with ultra-expensive “working” vacations in foreign resorts (no where better to discuss civic beautification than Hawaii) and looting the city Treasury for free gas (got the card, gotta use it!), they occasionally stumble into darker territory.

They give public roads to private clubs free of charge. They tailor local laws to the desires of private clubs. They subsidize brutality and incompetence negatively impacting the public. They run the taxpayers through the ringer: property taxes maxed out they’ve turned to charging exorbitant charges for rain water, air and sunlight.

Now the fools are coming for the animals. Take your furry friends and run.

The city’s animal control ordinance is due for its first revision since about 1970. Last year you probably noticed all the stray dogs, pigs, and deer running amuck at the Masters Tournament. The problem (real problem, really, for real) shall soon be solved! Sure, they’ll solve it in the most expensive manner possible and with tactics to make the SS giddy, but solve it they will. Only a vote away.

Henceforth all local animals will be registered with the government. All for the low, low price of $50 per animal, per year – forever. All funds will go directly to the Ritz Carlton Maui and BP.

There use to be high regard for things like privacy, private property, freedom from prohibition against unlawful taking and similar atrocities. Today the Supreme Court would likely declare this a perfectly normal tax and nothing more.

Worse, there shall be mandatory microchipping of all critters in the county. While the benefits (name one) of the mark of the beast are debatable, the cost is not. Just another tax though – and you did vote these bastards into office. Time to pay the crack pippers.

Many municipalities nationwide are enacting and enforcing the chip laws. As the Chronicle astutely notes: “Down at Animal Control, it seems to be less about the animal than the control.” They’re coming for your kids next, by the way. Then, you. 666! 666!

Worst of all the new law would give law enforcement new and Draconian powers. Any animal found outside without a collar and tag is subject to being detained and hauled into animal court. There, Dr. Euthanasia will dispense with rapid and final “justice.” One would think, with the advent of the microchip, tags would be irrelevant. The dog catcher could carry a scanner. “Beep, boop! Fido belongs to Mrs. Smith just down the street.”  This isn’t about thinking or else it would not be debated by the retards at the commission.

Pets on your private property or in your home are not safe either. The new law would allow authorities to enter private property without cause, without notice, and without a warrant or any pretense of Due Process. Take that, Fourth Amendment!

I call “Bullshit!” on this whole scheme. I like animals and I live in the Augusta area. There is no problem with two, four, six or eight legged varmits that can’t be addressed by current law or, better yet, by common sense. A dangerous dog or bull, loose and menacing, may be dealt with as needed. And, these instances are exceedingly rare. They do not require a $50 license fee to solve – a ten cent bullet will work every time.

You know where I stand against government and its hellish affairs. I’ll dispense with my usual rhetoric. I speak for the voiceless animals – not one of whom is guilty of voting for mindless savages.

Over the years I’ve observed a vast host of animals in urban settings, to include: dogs, cats, mice, frogs, snakes, birds, lizards, spiders, bees, ants, squirrels, beavers, turtles, aligators, possums, raccoons, rabbits, foxes, coyotes, deer, horses, fish, and cows. Not one I ever saw caused any trouble.

These are God’s creatures! Many and most roamed freely long before people ever visited Georgia. Leave them the hell alone!

If anyone must be euthanized, then I gladly offer up the members of the Augusta commission. Bastards!

Not a criminal! Google.

Criminals. Augusta Chronicle.