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Last week I mentioned that an election was coming.  I also presented my own favorite candidate – Frank the Frog.  Frank will not win and the election is in vain.  Vote if you care.  I don’t.

The Illustrious Barry Hussein El Islam Muhammad Obama the Magnificent has finished the job begun by his predecessors – the country is in ruins.  For his replacement the Democrats have dug to the very bottom of the bag of wrinkled has-beens, to one Hillary Clinton, the wife of “good times Bill, the slickster.”

The Republicans have other, similar ideas.  They would foist upon the people yet a third member of the Bush clan.  Obviously, the people are okay with two families maintaining a grip on national power for two or three or five decades.  Their business.  Is there some national obsession with rats and roaches of which I am not completely aware?

In Iowa the Republicans “think they must soften their image and expand their appeal in particular to women and Latino voters.”  I assume women and Latinos enjoy constant war, perpetual debt and crushing loads of government buffoonery.  Again, their business.

However, down in South Carolina, the GOP still caters to the Budweiser and NASCAR crowd.  There, apparently, women and Latinos are still at odds.  A woman, who had once been a Democrat, shouted, “People are coming in this country across the borders like rats and roaches in the woodpile! … The audience applauded.  She complained that states were registering people to vote and failing to ‘check them out.’ ‘We’ve got to get control,'” she bellowed while munching on a Twinkie.

You would think that after all this time conservative conference planners would have learned the one most important lesson about conservative conferences: Never let the audience speak. Ever.”  They don’t learn.  No-one learns.  Ten thousand years of history demonstrate unequivocally than government does not work.  Democrats love it. Republicans still love it.  The people hoot and holler like chimps in a cage.


(Large gathering of fat, illiterate white people.  Google.)

The universal message provided by the freedom-loving Republican candidates may be summarized as follows: more war!; Mexicans bad!; Muslims bad!; Democrats bad!; give taxes to banksters!; huff; puff.


(Bubba believes in the flag.  Google/Getty.)

Such fairy tales are humorous but foolish when taken seriously.  If the Democrats false egalitarianism had been real thirty years ago things might be better today.  If flag-worshipping Republicans actually had sought freedom, things might be better.  In reality, their lies and deceit have done us in.

Following his in-depth observations of early nineteenth-century America, Frenchman Alexis de Tocqueville, wrote Democracy in America, 1835.  The book is a masterful account of the political and demographic expanse of early America.

De Tocqueville wrote of the three races in the new world at that time: whites, blacks, and indians.  He proposed that whites and blacks would have to get along together in a future in which they formed the vast majority of the populace.  The fate of the native people seemed doubtful to Tocqueville.  Sensing there would be unnecessary, faction-based strife among the people for years to come, he refrained from any ultimate prediction in favor of a “time will tell” conclusion.

Time has told.  Following the two major parties, the people have chosen a sort of mass suicide followed by uncertain government managed life support.  Currently, while the bloated carcass of the American public drools on the gurney, the plug is being pulled.

This all leads me to a charming little tale, told in the far distant future.

In the cold winter of 3187, in the nation of Utopia, two young children dined with their old grandfather.  Following their meal the children enjoyed a brief holographic conversation with their parents.  Mom and Dad were enjoying a well deserved vacation on Mars.

As the evening deepened outside grandpa built a cozy fire on the hearth.

“Come and tell me about your school day,” he eagerly beckoned.  Little Timmy and Suzy recounted with wonder the day’s history lesson.  “Teacher read to us from an old book by Alex Me Folkville!,” volunteered Timmy.  “It was all about the ancient Americans,” exclaimed Suzy.

Timmy inquired of the smiling old man, “Have you ever heard of the Americans?”

“Yes, they were once a great people,” said Grandpa with a sigh.

“What happened to them,” asked Suzy, snuggling under Grandpa’s flannel-clad arm.


(A future history unfolds.  Google.)

“Well, if you really want to know, I can tell you of the Americans and their strange fate.”  Grandpa began:

A long, long time ago in a land far away, a group of wise men built up a great nation. The people were virtuous and hard-working.  Sure, they had their troubles, but they always tried to resolve them.

In such fashion they became wealthy, powerful, and happy.  They, it were, who invented many of the things we enjoy today – airplanes, spaceships, and cheeseburgers.

Just when they reached the zenith of their prosperity a funny thing happened…

“What’s a ‘zenith’,” asked Timmy as he enjoyed the wood fire.

“‘Zenith’ means ‘height’ or ‘best’,” answered Grandpa.  He continued:

The Americans were a diverse and happy people. De Tocqueville, your Me Folkville, noted their main divisions – white, black and indian or Mexican.  But, for reasons no-one really understands, they all fell under the dominion of two parties of deranged fools.  When I was a lad our teachers referred to the two groups as the rats and the roaches.  I think their real names were the Democrats and the Republicans.

Inexplicably, the free people of America, the most self-reliant and strongest of all people on earth, ceded all control of their lives to the most vile, idiotic, debased and degenerate lowlifes imaginable.

Every few years or so the people would hold a big popularity contest.  There was no need.  Everything was fine as it was.  But the rats … the Democrats and Republicans convinced the people there was good reason to place them in power.  The people filled their time with television, sports, food, and other trivialities.  Politically, they adopted an ‘us’ verses ‘them’ mentality.

Slowly, the politicians took control.  They perverted everything good about America. They made war on all other peoples just for the fun of it.  They spent money to the point the money had no value.  They encouraged the people to hate each other and themselves.  The times were vicious and confusing.

At last, in the middle of the 21st century, things fell apart.  All those great Americans had become a host of overweight, lazy, angry couch potatoes.  They traded their freedom for false security.  They were all on welfare. The world hated them.  They were poor.  They had no purpose.

The politicians and their huckster friends took the last of the money and fled abroad. The people were left in abject squalor.  Bereft of their jobs, their entertainment and their dignity they resorted to primitive tribalism.

The indians/Mexicans were centered in the southwest.  One day it was discovered that there was not a drop of water left there.  The Mexicans, those who survived, all returned to Mexico.

The southeast of the country was inhabited almost entirely by blacks.  In their collective psychosis, they decided to revert to an earlier way of life.  They decided to become slaves on various cotton plantations under the rule of white masters.  Lacking real whites, they appointed several of their own number to serve in this role.  They fared poorly and became extinct.

The whites fared no better.  Living mostly in the mountainous west, after a night of hard-drinking, they became enamoured of the idea of re-enacting the cowboy and indian wars of old.  As all real indians were then fled to Mexico, they held a giant game of shirts and skins amongst themselves. Thus, they uniformly perished.

The great American northeast, cradle of the original nation, was inhabited by one man – a Canadian named Jacque Strapp.  It was never known what became of him.

So the great land became uninhabited.  The old forests overtook the cities and after a whil, few traces of civilization remained.  And now, it is all history.  It happened so long ago…

“Would you like to live like the Americans?” Grandpa asked the children.  “Would you vote for fool politicians to ruin and destroy your lives?”

“No!” yelled both of the little ones in unison.

“Well then, good! Let us enjoy the fire,” said grandpa.

So ends the tale yet untold.  Will it become a reality?  Do we, the living, have the ability to change our fates and future history?

Will you continue to vote for your own destruction?

I hope not.  Take a queue from Timmy and Suzy.  Dispense with the rats and roaches of democracy.