Tag Archives: UGA

A Frankly Embarrassing Protest

10 Thursday Nov 2016

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Peaceful protest is part of the American political fabric. I saw some pro-Trump folks protesting Hillary near my home last weekend. Last night anti-Trump protesters gathered on 5th Avenue in New York. Sometimes people get a little carried away but overall it’s a positive action regardless of cause.

Last night several students gathered for a anti-Trump protest at the UGA Arch.

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Henry Taylor / The Red & Black.

I applaud these young people for bravely making their voices heard while others around the country demanded a day off to cry. Wisdom, Justice, and Moderation, that. Fortitude too.

The anti-Trump demonstrators got ahold of a plastic Trump flag or sign and lit fire to it. The police were nearby and as the flame got smaller they put it out with a cup of water.

They put the protest down with a coffee cup full of water…

Whaaa? Come on, Athens! make us proud. No arrests. No property damage. A cup of water? What kind of weakness is this? Back when UGA used to win football games, fans made considerably more forceful statements at hotels and condos all while drunk and dead tired.

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Disposable Paper Coffee Cups.

The students of the University of Georgia can do better than this. I hope. I haven’t had boots on campus in a while so things may have changed. I’ll say no more lest I hurt some feelings. Go Dawgs!

Mary Jane’s Athenian Pot Party

07 Friday Oct 2016

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As sad as it seems I graduated from college nearly 20 years ago. A little education and a lot of experiences. This story involves one of the latter. It is such ancient history that any parts I have forgotten will be creatively embellished for a seamless narrative.

We’ll say it was 1994. Back then I was a right-leaning “conservative”, one of millions about to be suckered in by the Contract ON America. (Remember that?) I still listened to Rush Limbaugh who, at the time, was still entertaining. Per my stance against joining I had never affiliated with any political party.

The previous year I attended one debate between the campus Republicans and Democrats. I should say “debate” because it wasn’t. All I saw were two sides of the same coin arguing over which one was uglier. I being new, they asked me for my opinion once the show was over and I told them something similar to the previous sentence and left. I never went back.

That next year I found myself still interested in political comradery. A decent, seemingly informed classmate told me about the UGA Libertarians and implied I should visit a meeting. I knew my views were much more inclined to those of the LP than the GOP but I saw the former as too weak to make a difference. They still have the same problem. But, then, I decided to plunge in and take a look.

I don’t even remember what season or quarter it was but it seems like the event was held in the evening. (Maybe it was 4:20…) Intrepidly I ventured to the Tate Student Center, home of the pool tables and the corn-dog. I reported, as instructed, to room 107.

There I waited patiently as the room filled up. It filled with women. I was the only man present. Oddly, I didn’t feel all that lucky. These women were pleasant enough. There was a semi-wide variety. Some were overtly attractive. Most wore black and all of them exuded a strangeness that, at the time, I couldn’t comprehend.

Their leader arrived and commenced some sort of weird, hypnotic, arms-waving chant. The group responded in like fashion. I grew slightly nervous. I asked the black-clad, chanting young lady beside me if this was the UGA LP. She said, “No, sweetie. We’re the UGA Witches. This is room 107. You want 207.” Not wanting to be turned into a frog or something, I excused myself politely.

On my way up the stairs something told me to abandon the night. Somewhere in Athens a beer was waiting for me. I shook it off. I was no quitter. Liberty needed me. Uggghhh…

In room 207 I found a gathering crowd of pleasant, normal-looking, seemingly okay people. No chanting. No black. I confirmed with the first man I saw that this was in fact the campus chapter of the LP. I took a seat near the middle of one side of the large table which occupied the room’s center.

Very soon thereafter a large group was present. I still detected no unusual activity and I began to relax. That beer could wait.

The president or chairman or whatever took his place at the head of the table. He called the meeting to order, made some perfunctory remarks, and welcomed any newbies. Very orderly, efficient and polite. I felt genuinely welcome.

He then said the best way to kick off the affair was to have everyone state the main issue which attracted them to the LP. He started; his issue was the legalization of marijuana. The comments moved clockwise, to his left and towards me. By coincidence the next person’s main issue was marijuana. As was the next’s. And the next’s. Pot, pot, pot, pot, green, and weed.

The process came to me and I, looking around thoughtfully, said that I thought Americans paid too much in taxes. Taxes, I said, should be cut – dramatically. These remarks caused a stir in the room with many heads nodding affirmatively. In fact, the dude to my left, next in the rotation, acknowledged my sentiments. He said that if taxes were cut, then we would all have more money to buy pot. Pot was his central issue. The discussion rounded the table.

Pot, pot, reefer, green, pot, weed, pot, pot, MJ, pot, whacky-tobacky, pot… At last the floor again belonged to the leader. He seemed pleased with the direction of the discussion and avowed to keep it going. We should all, he said, explain our second issue of attraction. His was still marijuana. Pot, pot, pot, pot, pot and back to me.

Now, somewhat flustered, I thought hard. At the time I really didn’t care one way or the other about pot. I still don’t. Yes, I agree it should be legal. I had no problem with the opinions of my fellows, only with their redundancy. I thought for a second and said, “I like guns.”

More murmuring and many a nodding head. The man next to me became animated with delight. He declared that they had long needed “this guy”, meaning me. He said we would definitely need guns in order to protect our … pot…

Pot, pot, pot, pot, pot, pot …

I then knew this was an exercise in the futile. I asked the animated character to my left where the restroom was. He got even more excited. Leaning in, with a half-crazed look in his glazed eyes, he asked, “You going to smoke a joint?”

No I said. Gotta…number two. Big. One… I … I have to run. And I did.

I left and headed downtown. I did use the restroom – at a bar, though mainly to ask the mirror what the hell I had just been through. The beer and I finally connected. It turned out to be a good night.

And that was my defining experience with the LP. And with the witches of America.

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I still like and admire the Libertarians. Thereafter I went on to (lazily) support Harry Browne’s 2000 presidential campaign. He, you might recall, did not make it. I also paid for a dinner for a Georgia LP congressional candidate and his senior staff. He also failed to win office.

I no longer associate with politicians (or witches) – at least not in the formal, supportive sense. As I noted yesterday, the Pot Party is still the party of pot. Whatever else they may be, they are consistent on that issue.

They still want to toke and I still like guns. There is a constant in the universe.

Happy Friday, all.

The Allegory of the Cave

15 Tuesday Dec 2015

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Sometimes one finds after trials that what one wants isn’t really what one needs. The unknown need is often what should be desired. So it is with both the lesson behind The Allegory of the Cave and in my method of discovering it.

Long ago I wandered aimlessly but unintrepidly into the University of Georgia. I was convinced I was destined to study business and become a real life Gordon Gekko or something similar. I have yet to make millions or be investigated by the SEC. I have experienced some very attractive women and sunrise on the beach, so it has not been a total loss. Whatever.

Back in Athens, entering my senior year, I found myself faced with a host of required elective classes. I had essentially finished my business education which did turn out to mostly be a total loss. Hoping to get out into the “real world” as fast and as easily as possible I signed up for what I thought would be the easiest classes offered. I loaded up on philosophy and classical studies.

These I did find easy and I earned above average grades. However, my ease of completion, my excellence, derived from my immense enjoyment of the subject matter. Only at the end of my tenure did I discover the misdirection of my education.

Plato, being one of the greatest minds of all history, was required reading in one or more classics courses. Plato’s thoughts and methodology have influenced scholars since, to include Saint Augustine, Saint Thomas Aquinas, More and Kant.

Deep inside Plato’s Republic one will find The Allegory of the Cave. It is a metaphorical conversation between Socrates (Plato’s mentor) and Glaucon (Plato’s brother). Ancient philosophy frequently featured dialectic parables to stimulate thought about the conveyed concepts. The Cave is such a story about human experience and education.

Socrates and Glaucon discussed a cave where were chained a group of people. The prisoners sat in a row facing a smooth black wall at the back of the cave. None had ever lived outside; their imprisoned condition was all they ever known. However, they were not without entertainment.

Behind the chained men burned a fire. Someone would regularly hold in front of the fire but behind the prisoners a series of shapes and models. These forms were representations of real things from the outside world. The shapes cast shadows on the wall. These were viewed by the captive audience. The shadow figures were the only substance ever viewed by the captives. As they viewed the apparitions the men would murmur sounds. Over time they came to assume these sounds came from the images and, thus, emanated from them. This spectacle provided a multi-dimensional element to life in the cave.

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http://www.ancient.eu.

Still it was a false life, a fantasy. None had ever experienced reality. What they knew were only representative approximations of actual reality. Immersed in this setting the men assumed the shadow forms to be all of existence.

Suppose one of the captive viewers broke free and ventured back to where the models resided. Suppose he escaped the cave entirely and saw, for the first time, the real world. Given his shadow education he would eventually correlate those images to their real forms. Given a little longer he might come to appreciate his whole world view had been a mere theatrical production, a myth.

Initially, such a man would experience confusion and perhaps fear. Then what? Depending on his disposition, intelligence, and fortitude he would either become ecstatic in his newfound freedom or else he would shun reality in favor of his former imaginary life.

Suppose this escapee went back to the cave to teach the other prisoners about the truth. How would they receive his message? If history is a guide, then the reception would be cool at best. Intelligent people are frequently seen as crazed by their simple contemporaries. The ignorant are generally suspicious of the enlightened. Sometimes they persecute them. See the examples of Socrates, Archimedes, Galileo, and Jesus.

Art imitates life. The Matrix movie is the space age telling of Plato’s Cave. Neo barely overcomes his desire to remain in fantastic perfection over entering the more sober real world. He needed convincing too.

Life imitates art. Today many live out the allegory, not in a cave but in the comfort of their homes. The chains are mental rather than physical. Modern electronics have replaced the fire and shadow show. The allegory of the television.

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FREE e-book!

In a way, by taking those elective classes I stumbled out of my own cave. What’s that? The allegory of the allegory? Years have passed and I still battle to convince myself of reality. It’s not always the most pleasant of places. I imagine you, dear reader, face similar dilemmas. Realization does not, by itself, breed happiness. It is however close kin with freedom. I’ll take that over being chained in the cave.

Anarchy Is Better Than No Government At All

30 Monday Nov 2015

Posted by in Legal/Political Columns

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Some years ago I landed in what for me was probably the perfect legal position of employment. I took a job out of law school as a law clerk with a Georgia court. Law clerks review case file, do research and make recommendations to their judges.

My tenure went far beyond the norm. I was afforded the opportunity to wear many hats – each of which fitted me perfectly. I was able to indulge in a great breadth and depth of research with some publication to boot. I was granted the more prestigious title of Staff Attorney. I was also a registered lobbyist, working occasionally in pursuit of projects concerning the judiciary. I even filled in a few times on the bench.

Gravitating naturally towards research and writing and having almost total freedom with my time I began to explore additional opportunities of academic nature. My great interest is in freedom in and out of legal and political systems. I am a theorist. I learned towards some hybrid between legal theory and political philosophy.

The American Bar Association views a J.D. as the equivalent of a PhD for teaching purposes. Most non-law schools hold a different view. I realized I might benefit from another, specialized graduate degree. My choices as I saw them were either a Master of Law or LLM (in law a Master’s degree comes after the doctorate – yes, backwards) or a PhD in poly sci.

My school of choice, based on both reputation and logistics, was the University of Georgia. I had my own strict criteria concerning any entry into these programs.

The only LLM program in the world which interested me was at UGA. It was a directed study of comparative legal theories under the esteemed base master of such philosophy, Dr. Alan Watson. The only PhD I would consider was in political theory or philosophy and, with a concentration in natural law and libertarian/anarchist views.

I demanded, or would have, freedom to explore my own paths. I also included teaching experience as a must have.

My quest never got very far. In short order life dictated I abandon my beloved job and move to a less than desirable locale, practicing less than desirable law. Thus began my professional “downfall.” I ended up, for a brief time, a miserable prosecutor. When I could no longer stand that I entered private practice. Several were my shinning moments but I never regained even a shadow of my former fit and happiness.

Everything happens for a reason. Today, through my writing, I am finally able to pick up where I left off nearly a decade ago. This time, it’s my way on my own by necessity. One, I doubt there is any organized poly sci department in America which would or could house me. That’s fine – times have changed. Today we have YouTube and Udemy. Two, Alan Watson retired and took with him the last vestige of true legal study in the country. Again, I’m on my own. Autodidact or die …

I visited Watson’s office a few times back the. It was my intention to interview him and to be interviewed myself to check compatibility. Per my usual laziness I always showed up unannounced. He was never in. I have never met the man. Perhaps that all was a sign. My little daughter did accompany me on one visit – we had a great time – as such the trip was anything but a waste.

The political science department did receive me for an arranged visit. I toured the facility and we had a good discussion. There was a real chance things might have worked out. Nearly all the faculty members were “liberals” but they seemed to tolerate my extremism rather well. They were open to my ideas of a very loosely structured curriculum and my desire to teach while I worked. They also deemed an attorney in the department a plus. But, as I said, life intervened.

On my afore-mentioned tour I passed many faculty office doors. Many were closed. One was covered in signs and stickers. One of the stickers read: “Anarchy is better than no government at all.” That stuck in my jumbled mind. I think I used it as a title once …

“Anarchy” has various meanings to different people. Of late the term has been used to describe somewhat disruptive protestors of modern socio-economic life. These, to me, appear more like pro-communist or anti-capitalist activists than anything else. Communism is in my mind the polar opposite of anarchy. Then again, I don’t have a monopoly on the word. I suppose this crowd is descended from the mad bomb throwers of yesteryear.

Tolkien, a hero of mine, described his own political philosophy as anarchism. The specifically rejected the bomber disposition; rather, he merely wanted to leave others alone in exchange for equal treatment. This position is as close to my own as any.

Anarchy and “no government” as the door sticker alluded are often used synonymously. However, I don’t think they are one and the same.

Many consider anarchy the equivalent of chaos. To them it is the complete absence of any controls, political or societal, and could only lead to pandemonium. Their views are understandable. For 10,000 years we have been trained to accept some degree of authority outside of ourselves and over us. As society has evolved (or fallen) government and society have also become synonymous. They are not.

One can speak of the American or French or Japanese cultures and traits without the slightest regard for their respective governments. Government did not create the beauty of the natural world. Nor does it bring happiness to small family gatherings. Though they might claim otherwise, politicians had nothing to do with the development of symphony, football, pizza or the quiet enjoyment of an evening cigar.

Anarchy does represent a form of governance. It is one that stems from the natural freedom of association between civilized people. Heavy-handed policies, tactics, and laws are most unnatural. Too many repeat the phrase “government is a necessary evil.” At least they acknowledge the evil but the institution is just that – evil but unnecessary.

Think of anarchy as “Golden Rule” government. Each affords the other respect and vows not to violate the other’s rights and freedoms. Anarchy is freedom. Freedom is happiness.

Yes, not all people are civilized. Criminality is a continuing cost of original sin. Somewhere in time someone postulated the state’s main purpose was to protect the good people from the bad. History shows this premise is a total failure. Governments are typically the worst violators of freedom and dignity. They also have the nasty habits of coercing decent people into supporting and paying for their depravity and of criminalizing private attempts to disrupt real criminal activity.

In the absence of such retarded controls the free would be able to – individually or in concert – using their strength and conscious – shame, disrupt, or terminate undesirable elements.

Other things government is supposed to do, but which it can’t do well and did not invent, are better left to private cooperation. Roads, schools and defense are all possible without state intervention. And they all predate government.

Many a good, libertarian man I know have said to me (almost in desperation) “you have to have some government!” No, I do not. I have reached a point where I am content to manage my own affairs and relations. Perhaps they real mean “they have to have government.” They don’t. It’s the conditioning of 10,000 years at work which convinces them otherwise.

Anarchy isn’t better than no government. It is the best government.

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Google.

Note: I realized upon finishing this one that it’s as much about me as my pet philosophy. The two seem intertwined. Funny. I don’t care much for structure and tend to live out a life of personal anarchy. I have to admit that for all the foibles it works out pretty well.

Misguided Education

20 Saturday Apr 2013

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A while back I wrote a piece about my journey through undergraduate school at the University of Georgia (“UGA”).  I recently dredged up my transcripts from that experience and thought I would share the same with you – with commentary!  Here follows a hilarious, self-deprecating look at the mistakes I made in Athens.

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(UGA.)

As I related before, I majored in the wrong things and failed to realize my mistakes until it was too late.  My grades reflected accordingly – I graduated with a “C” average.  Considering how I felt about studying and how little I did, that “C” seems like a miracle.  Also, I unofficially majored in girls, beer, and trail running/weight lifting; I worked full-time the last two years as well.

UGA is a great school, one of only 21 schools in America which received an “A” based on their required core curriculum.  I think the requirements were a little different when I was there – last century – but I still had the opportunity for a first class education.  My point here to two-fold: first, I want to entertain you by making fun of my foibles in college; second, and more importantly, I hope some of my younger readers may benefit from my mistakes so as to prevent a few of their own.

Fall Quarter, Year 1

I got a “B” in English 101 (composition).  I write a lot and read well so this was no surprise.  I recall the professor was a hot ex-business executive who decided she wanted to teach English.  I got a C in Sociology.  I hated this class and was terribly bored throughout.  I gave it no effort – which, if I recall, was all it warranted.  I made my only F, ever, in College Algebra.  I can’t remember why I had to take this class in the first place.  I did fairly well in math in high school.  I think it was a weed-out class and it almost got me.  I understood most of the crap in the classes but the tests were all administered by a computer with an incomprehensible software system.  I suppose it was designed that way.  Anyway, I learned a valuable lesso … actually, I learned nothing.

Winter Qtr, Year 1

I made a C in Eng 102 – the teacher was nearly as hot as the one from 101.  Surprisingly, I made a C in American Government.  Actually, I was not surprised.  The professor was a nearly brain-dead liberal who “taught” straight from the New York Times, to which we were required to subscribe.  I bet this is how the Times stays in business.  I think my grade would have been higher had I made my term paper more politically correct.  I wrote about American intervention in Bosnia – from my unique perspective.  I wrote the whole affair off as illegal and unnecessary.  Turns out, in hindsight, I was right.  Still got a C.  I got another B in a Geology class of all things.  It was actually fairly interesting … I think.

Spring Qtr, Year 1

The transcripts say I took another Geology class.  Or was it Geography???  I flopped through Microeconomics without much impressive success.  I also took Anthropology 10whatever.  The whole class was devoted to the study of a bunch of primitives in Africa.  It might have featured Barry Sotoro, not sure.

Summer Qtr, Year 1

I met a super hot girl in the Obama class whom I started dating.  She was entirely too good for me and later we broke up.  Okay, she broke up with me.  I deserved it.  Anyway, she was a year ahead of me and I decided to take summer classes in order to try to graduate with her.  I took Western Civilization (to 1500 AD), a class I really liked.  The professor was a righteous dude!  I retook the evil algebra class had no problems this time.  They implemented a new software, just for me!  I started an Intro to Cinema class thinking it would be easy and fun.  It was not.  They expected me to watch movies (that I did) and then analyse all sorts of weird entertainment theories and such.  I dropped it.

Fall Qtr, Year 2

I studied Macroeconomics with the same success as Micro.  Blah.  I took Business Law, which I really enjoyed.  I took a business major-related Pre-Calculus class (trigonometry?) and did much better than in the weed-out crap class.  There was no computer involved.  At the time, I absolutely hated computers, regarding them as evil, silicon-based lifeforms sent to make us miserable.

Winter Qtr, Year 2

Having quit the movies, I took a Theater class.  I recall none of it but the transcripts say I got a B.  I also got a B in MIS (Management Information Solutions??).  We learned there was some sort of new thing on the horizon called the “internet.”  Ever heard of it?  Other than that, all I can recall is the professor stuttering his RRRRRRrrrrrrssssss…  I almost got an A in Calculus!  I should have got the A but I was quite happy with my B(+?).  I was not sure why I didn’t get an A, seems I had a theory at the time.  My secret to success was actually learning the material!  I had to because the professor spoke not one word of English.  I became intimately acquainted with the book.  Everyone was required to take a PE class, pass or fail only.  I took “Walking” because all of the cool classes like scuba and jousting were full.  Turns out “walking” meant speed walking.  I was the only man in the class and was always dead last behind the ladies.  I had a theory.  Anyway, passed it … barely.

Spring Qtr, Year 2

I started and withdrew from a Business Statistics  class, which was the most dreaded class in the Terry School of Business.  It was another computer-driven weeder.  I took Accounting 1 and hated it.  Hated it.  Trying out one of my elective credits, I took  Philosophy 101.  I am philosophy!  I loved it and made my very first A!  I discovered there, that when you love something, it does not feel like work and seems to require no effort.  I wish I had woken up and that point and made better use of my time.  Onward…

Fall Qtr, Year 3

I did not take any summer classes – hottie and I had gone our separate ways.  Anyhow, as the leaves turned I endured another useless Accounting class.  I also muddled through another econ class – Money and Banking.  I liked it (you know I write about monetary issues often) but I did only average, academically.  For another elective I took a Classics class – Roman Culture.  I absolutely loved it!  As with Calc, I narrowly missed an A – I think I overslept for the final exam and only finished part of it.  Anyway, this should have been another wake up moment.  It wasn’t.  However, given my constant recitation of Cicero and Sallust, by the power vested in me, by me, I hereby elevate my grade to an A!  Haha!

Winter Qtr, Year 3

This was a miserable waste of a quarter.  I found myself in a Marketing class.  The high point was discovering the Professor was an avid hiker as was I.  I forced my way through that Statistics class.  Did you know that 60% of all statistics are wrong?  True fact, that.  At some point I walked into the Professor’s office and just asked for a D.  A D and there would be no trouble from ol Perrin.  She, perceiving my blight and perhaps my wrath, consented.  “D” stands for DONE!  My dad was a psychologist.  I am not.  I started a Psychology class and dropped it after being unnerved by the lab experiment – whatever the hell it was…

Spring Qtr, Year 3

The transcripts say I took “Prin of Prod.”  I do not recall what that was.  I didn’t do well, whatever it was.  It matters not at all.  This quarter I took my first major class, Real Estate something.  I only got a B.  that should have told me something.  I’m sure it did but, at the time, I wasn’t listening.

Fall Qtr, Year 4

By only studying the manual which accompanied my fancy calculator the night before the final, I breezed through Finance!  I still have the calculator!  I also did well in some sort of Organizational Behavior (?????) class?  I do not remember it at all.  Unless, it was the one where I interviewed a local business owner (a “Republican” type) only to discover she was a government-loving zombie…  My calculator trick did not work quite as well in my Real Estate Finance class but I made it through.  Another flag ignored.

Winter Qtr, Year 4

I wasted away in another Management class and two Real Estate classes.  I was upset about my grade in RE Development – the only time I ever cared.  Professor C.F. Floyd, a local legend, gave me a B.  I had an A all through the Quarter and had the highest grade on the class project (complete with glowing reviews).  However, Floyd graded my final exam rather low – even though it was a completely subjective essay matter.  Afterwards, when I protested, he said he just didn’t like my subject matter.  I really respected the man but I went to the Dean with an appeal.  The Dean, whose name I do not recall, told me Floyd was the senior-most teacher in all of UGA and I was out of luck.  Sorry, Jack.  I am not.  I hereby elevate my grade to an A! +!  I now have the power and you can just kiss my shrinking ass, buddy.

Spring Qtr, Year 4

This quarter I got my only A in my major (not counting the above post-fact elevation).  It was in Corporate Real Estate.  At the time, I liked the class and thought I had done a great thing.  I since revised my opinion.  Out in the real world, I discovered the class actually did me a grave dis-service.  Based on what we studied, we all seemed to think we would immediately start out in Donald Trump’s shoes.  None of us did.  We were introduced to the “entry-level” world.  Seems I took yet another unremarkable management class and something called “Interviewing” – who knew.  

Summer Qtr, Year 4

Most of my friends took 5 or 6 years to graduate.  With the help of one more summer session, I did it in the traditional four.  Apparently, I took something called ADM Practices.  Does anyone have the slightest idea what that is????  I also took two more Classics electives – Greek Culture and Mythology.  Only at this last hour did I realize my business major mistake.  For an hour or two I contemplated switching majors (or double majoring, maybe) to (in) something more classical – a real education.  I regret not doing so to this day.  Foolishly, I determined I had done all I could and accepted by BBA as was.  Foolish.

I would like to say I have benefitted from that degree but I have not.  It was completely useless.  A friend of mine remarked the other day an undergraduate degree is a certificate which indicates you can sit still and concentrate on something for four years.  It is nothing more – at least a BBA isn’t.  It did not help me get a good job.  It didn’t matter in law school.  It doesn’t matter at all.

BBA

(A real BBA.  Google.)

Should you find yourself in a similar situation, get out now!  Either change what you’re doing or just drop out.  You’ll be glad you did.  You won’t have to sit and stare at your transcripts some day wondering what the hell “ADM” means…

Perrin and the Rich and Famous

09 Tuesday Apr 2013

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The idea for this post came to me today.  I suppose it was because it’s Masters time and everyone is on the lookout for the rich and famous.  I’ve met numerous famous people during my lifetime.  People love celebrity stories so I thought I would bore you with some of mine.

I’ll start with the two whose autographs I asked for and received.  Not being an autograph hound, the idea usually doesn’t come to me.  I’m not counting the ones who have signed books for me, those are numerous.

Don Knotts

I met Don Knotts at Mississippi State University in the early to mid 1980s.  He was in Starkville to give a comedy-laden speech about his life and career.  He was genuinely one of the funniest and down to earth person I’ve ever encountered.  The demeanor he exhibited on Andy Griffith and Three’s Company was him, unless he was hamming it up the night I saw him.  I can’t recall anything he said but I remember it was fascinating.  He signed a picture of himself for me.  I lost it.

Vince Dooley

Any good old boy from Georgia would be compelled to get the coach’s autograph.  So I did one afternoon.  The funny thing was, I had him sign a baseball.  I was at a baseball game in Athens and decided to go get a hotdog.  On my way out of the stands a pretty girl in a UGA outfit gave me a UGA baseball.  I put it in my pocket and proceeded to the concession stand.  While I was waiting in line I happened to look behind me and there was Dooley.  He had a pen, I had a baseball.  The rest is concession stand history.  He was overly gracious.  I have since misplaced the ball.

Suzanne Yoculan

I has working out (back when I was in super-shape at the brand-new UGA athletic facility (we called it the SPACE Center, it has a different name now).  Being a dumbbell I was hanging out with my kin.  I noticed an extra attractive blonde next to me.  It was Yoculan.  We had a nice chat between sets about gymnastics and fitness in general.  So, I think I’ve met UGA’s most famous coach and their winningest coach.  Yoculan was very nice.  Almost all the celebrities I’ve ever met have been very nice.  Not so many looked as good as her though.  I think I was on a flight to L.A. with the hottie who played Princess Ardala in Buck Rogers but I’m not sure.  She may have just been a hottie.

Kenny Rogers

I met a slew of famous folks in and around Athens, as you can gather.  I had a girlfriend who managed a Hallmark card shop.  I was hanging around one Saturday, being a general nuisance.  I found the name tag maker and made myself a name tag – “Bubba.”  In walked Rogers and his beautiful then-girlfriend, now wife.  He stood around like an average ordinary dude while the woman shopped.  I recall she ran up a good-sized tab, which Rogers paid (with cash).  I jumped behind a register and acted like I worked there.  One of the girls pushed me aside.  After the payment, the Misses decided she wanted to shop some more.  Kenny had enough and headed out to sit in the car, which turned out to be a mini-van.  I strolled out and talked to him for a minute or two about his music and his chicken franchises (remember those?).  I might have him autograph something but I can’t remember; if I did, I lost it.

Will Clark and Rafael Palmeiro

Daddy taught at MSU when I was young.  We went to almost every home game – football and baseball.  During the 1984 or 85 season he got me a ball autographed by the entire team (including Ron Polk).  I think Brantley or Thigpen or someone was in one of his classes.  He pulled rank, not me – therefore, I don’t count this encounter as one where I sought the autographs.  By the way, I have that ball under glass on a shelf at home.  It turns out a good friend of mine was on the team the year before.  I showed him the ball once and he went into a time-warp memory trance.  Autographs are powerful.  Anyway, I think it was the evening the team got back from an unsuccessful world-series run or maybe it was on their way out).  The media were gathered and many interviews occurred concurrently.  Clark and Palmeiro had no trouble taking a moment or two to humor little me.  Great men.

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(If you’re a MSU or MLB fan, I might consider selling the ball.  $erious offer$ only…)

Michael Stipe

This really doesn’t count as a meeting so much as a random funniness.  A friend of mine and I were visiting with my doctor in .. you guessed it – Athens on morning.  The Doc was developing a bar/apartment complex on Clayton Street.  He had invited us over to look around.  Anyway, we were all standing out on the sidewalk when this bald-headed skinny guy in a sweat suit came jogging by.  One of us said, “It that Michael Stipe?”  The second said, “That looks like Michael Stipe.”  Then third said loudly, “That’s Michael Stipe!”  Stipe glanced nervously over his shoulder and then bolted off at a full sprint.  Funny if you were there.  I was.

Aurelian Smith, Jr.

You know Smith better by his ring name, Jake “The Snake” Roberts.  He was the first of the many wrestlers I’ve met and the first of two I’ve worked out with.  I was pumping serious iron at the Gold’s gym in … Athens on morning when I noticed this tall guy on a bench (bench press bench) reading the paper.  I took a second look and determined it was Roberts.  About that time he noticed me and asked for a spot.  We talked a good deal about his life and things generally.  I had just seen him on the Benny Hinn show and had some questions about Hinn’s performances, which, honestly, look as scripted as anything from the WWF.  Roberts assured me that Hinn was a sincere Christian and that he exuded an uncanny “electric” presence – one that could be felt physically.  He and I worked out quite a few times and talked frequently in the parking lot.  Jake drove a rotating variety of older vehciles.  He was a great conversationalist and as un-snake like as could be.

Marcus Bagwell

Marcus is better known as Buff Bagwell.  I met him in the Gold’s Gym in Woodstock, Georgia.  This was during one of my short-lived attempts to get back in shape.  Buff was in great shape, naturally, and his encouragement and friendliness helped me during the run.  The poor guy was in a bad automobile wreck not too long ago.  A lot of the wrestlers I’ve known, including Jake, have had problems later on.  Sad, but I guess it comes with the territory.

Joe Penny

When I was a teenager I worked out at another of Bill Smith’s great clubs – Bodytalk.  On summer day I was milling around and saw Penny. You may remember him from Jake and the Fatman and Riptide.  His dad was a local school principal and Joe came for a visit.  Like Jake he requested a spot and we struck up a conversation.  I naturally get along with most people and since I’m not a pop culture nut I suppose I don’t annoy the celebs as others might.  Anyway, he was a very quiet but personable fellow. 

Jimmy Carter

I worked in and around the Georgia General Assembly during the last year of law school.  The former President came to town and gave a speech one day.  I attended and found what he had to saw inspiring and common-sensical.  I don’t really recall what he talked about but it was interesting.  After he talked and was shaking hands with the resident ticks, I made my way down to Governor’s private door.  I figured that’s where Carter would exit.  I was right.  After a few minutes he and Rosalynn came along with one or two Secret Service agents and some State Troopers.  He stopped for a second, shook my hand, and made pleasant small talk.  It’s funny; I don’t generally view his Presidency as a particular success but I was very pleased to meet him.  He’s the only President I’ve ever met.  The next best person is John Anderson.  He was a professor of mine in law school and is now a friend.  I’ve met so many other politicians, they don’t faze me anymore (I do keep my hand on my wallet though…).

Steve Forbes

This is one of the few cases where I heard a famous person talk about something and remember what he said.  Forbes spoke to the Federalist Society’s 2001 national conference about the ridiculous monetary policy of the Federal government.  While not outright calling for a return to the gold standard, he advocated SOME standard so we at least know where we stand.  He analyzed it to a carpenter trying to build a house when his tape measure changes units every day.  After he spoke I mosied up and we talked for a little while about the subject.  I asked him how we could ever got back to a sane system.  He said all we could do is to keep hammering the point over and over.  Ron Paul did a great job of this.  Forbes was by far the wealthiest person I ever met yet one of the absolute nicest.

Kenneth Starr

I first met Ken at the same Fed-Soc function where I met Forbes.  I’ve since met him many, many times again.  Our second meeting was at Ted Olson’s Virgina home the next summer (I once ran with the elite…).  I saw Ken and his wife and guided my wife over for an introduction.  He saw us coming and walked over.  He actually remembered me and said, “Hello, Perrin!”  The wives were happily introduced and we went on drinking champagne and doing snooty country club stuff.  How cool is it to be recognized by a celebrity, whatever you think of his professional work?

Cigar Royalty

Through my cigar connections, I’ve met many of the biggest names in the cigar world.  I won’t name names here.  Like politicians, to me they are a dime a dozen.  However, unlike the ticks, I consider these folks my friends (in real life and on Facebook!).  All are exceptional and kindly.  ALmost everyone in cigarland is that nice.

My favorite celebrities are my beloved readers – you!  Maybe I’ll write some funny snippets about you someday!

Muddling Through College

11 Monday Mar 2013

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Given the popularity of my postings on the law, generally and regarding specific topics, and given the inclination of so many people to ask me about becoming a lawyer and what it’s like, I thought I would write something about legal education in America.  It won’t be pretty but it will paint a good overall picture of the modern training lawyers undergo.  First, however, I thought I would write something about the undergraduate experience which precedes law school.  That’s what this article concerns.  It is mainly drawn from my experiences at the University of Georgia in the early – mid 1990’s.

As my personal collegiate experience is somewhat dated (ugh….), I have tried to incorporate a little news concerning more modern college education as well.  So, this piece is really about my personal muddling with an updated, universal background.  I hope it serves as a guide of sorts for those entering college or already there and struggling to decide what to make of the situation.  For those you who have already completed your formal education, I hope this resonates with you.  It’s up to us to enlighten the younger generations so that they may achieve their full potential.

College today is much the same as it was back then.  Modern students have a wealth of on-line information to assist them in picking the right school and program for them.  I wished we had had that.  I recently stumbled across a fantastic website that goes beyond the normal rankings and summary guides.  Check out this site: http://www.whatwilltheylearn.com/.  It’s an initiative from numerous alumni to assess what, if anything, colleges teach these days.  The results are eye-opening.  Of the 1000 or so schools surveyed only 21 got an “A” based on required core curriculum.  I’m proud to say my alma mater was among them.  Several famous and pricy schools did not fare so well.  Watch their video too.

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(Google Images.)

Back to yours truly.  I started college in 1993 immediately after graduating from high school.  I applied to and was accepted to three colleges (I think it was three, I’m lazy).  I got accepted to Mississippi State University (in my original home town) and the University of Georgia, where many of my relatives attended.  I think the other school was UVA; I attended classes for a week as a high schooler and was most impressed. 

MSU offered me a scholarship, I think it was a full ride.  My dad had been a professor there and apparently they needed someone from Georgia.  I probably should have accepted but, given my poor choices in college, I would have likely lost the scholarship anyway.  In the end, I went to UGA.  The Georgia HOPE scholarship was recently enacted at the time.  My high school grades were excellent and so I would have qualified.  Unfortunately, my parents made something like 50 cents over the family income maximum.  The next year they raised the maximum but by then my grades were so dismal it didn’t matter.  I must say I had a great time in Athens.  The city is overrun with bars and hot girls and there is always something to do.  Oddly, none of that matters looking back.

I have since analyzed why I did as poorly as I did in the early half of my college career.  I used to blame the school and several professors in whose classes I did poorly.  I have come to the conclusion though that any failings (pun intended) were my fault only.  I had considered that perhaps I was not ready for college.  Then again, I’m not sure what I would have done instead at that time.  I wanted to continue my formal education, I just went about it all wrong.  I was not true to myself.

I have devoted a whole chapter in The Time Given (not long now….) to being true to yourself.  My understanding of the concept comes from my own self-betrayals.  In high school and for the first few years I was at UGA I was under the delusion of the great “American dream.”  George Carlin once said, “it’s a dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.”  I know what he meant.  The dream went something like this:  You go to college to get a valuable degree.  The degree gets you a ticket to work for a big corporation for 30 or 40 years.  By working hard for your employer you get rich and enjoy a comfy retirement.  You can vacation in Destin, Florida and such.

I tried to take the dream to its extreme conclusion.  I just knew I had to major in business in order to get that golden job ticket.  I started out as a general business major and then switched to a speciality in real estate.  UGA’s real estate program is excellent and I did learn some things in my concentration classes which came in handy at Trammel Crow and in my brief real estate sales career.  I also found some of my advanced economics classes fascinating – but only from an academic standpoint.  The rest of the core business classes bored the ever-loving hell out of me.  My grades reflected this.  I recall mornings when I remembered I had to drop classes I had not attended all semester – on the last day possible.  Still figures into some of my nightmares.  I recall passing finance my reading the booklet for my fancy calculator the night before the final exam.  I wasted a semester in a business MIS class that covered things like floppy disks and the new-fangled internet, whatever that was.  That all says something – I’m not sure what…

The “hard” problem I found with an undergraduate business degree was that you studied based on scenarios only a CEO would encounter.  Then you get into the job market and discover only entry-level jobs are available.  It’s kind of depressing.  I really lucked out with Trammell Crow and it took me months of interviewing for scores of other positions to find.  Another problem is that once you’re on the job, they retrain you completely.  I’d say only 10% of what I managed to learn ended up being useful on the job.

If you want to enter business, I think it’s best to get an MBA. It also helps to study something you have connections to (the family business, etc.). Otherwise, you’re wasting your time.  I wasted a lot of the stuff.

The “soft” problem I had was that I didn’t really want to be a business major.  I look like a businessman but I have the heart of a history professor or a latter-day dragon slayer, neither of which benefit from a class in marketing.  This was made clear to me during my senior year.  For whatever reason I finished most of the required classes and had an abundance of electives to take.  Out of curiosity I wound up in a number of classics (ancient Greece and Rome) and philosophy classes. 

Suddenly, I was immersed in subjects that spoke to me about eternal issues I could relate to everyday American life.  I also got “A” after “A” and it wasn’t hard to do.  I liked the programs.  I identified with the programs.  I dig ancient wisdom and logical discourse more than ROI statements and accounting baselines.

It occurred to me a little late in the game to change majors and stick it out.  I probably should have done that.  At the time though, the same stubbornness that got me into my plight held me there.  I made excuses like “I’m almost done.  I need to settle, get out, and get that dream job.”  Ha!  The job I got was great.  I foresaw myself rising in the ranks and becoming a developer, another Donald Trump.  I was good at it.  I thought I could even open my own business and build skyscrapers.  Then, they called me one day and thanked me profusely for my hard work.  I smelled a raise.  Then they said the division was closing and I was no longer needed.  More depression followed.  This is the real American dream – you lie to yourself, waste time and money, and end up getting laid off after giving 150%.  Well, it was the dream.  I think most people have to settle for permanent unemployment or food stamps these days.

After a year of flopping around I headed to law school.  It was my attempt to right my ship.  It almost worked.  I know now that while I love the concept and theory of law, present and historical, these are not good reasons to go to law school.  I’ll have more on this in my coming column on the legal education racket.

I should have gotten a Ph.D. in political theory or history.  Then I would have been primed for a happier career in higher education, pondering the big ideas and helping young people seek questions and answers.  I’m currently trying to re-route myself that way.  This blog is a grand outlet for my academic pursuits.  I’m delighted by the support I have received so far.  I plan to press forward regardless of what kind, if any, formal institution I end up in.  I don’t mean an “institution” where I weave baskets…

Counting the four years I was locked up in high school, it’s been about 24 years getting around to being honest about my ambitions.  I have been extremely lucky in the alternative.  I’ve had the opportunity most people don’t get in the business and legal fields to interact with academics, statesmen, titans and ticks of all stripes.  I have also been able to strike a few blows for freedom over the years.  Everything happens for a reason and I have accepted my long way home.

I hope you, dear readers, find and accept yours too.  Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you.  I genuinely like helping people.  It’s really why I’m here.