Paying the Piedmont Piper

 

The Fire Alarm Rings

Yeah, so, wow. I just read about the big payoff for your stellar real estate investing skills in Newton. Congratulations! Hey – asking for a friend here – how does one double the value of a property in only one year?! “JK,” “dawgs.”

Though I’m immune, I certainly feel your pain. I’d love to help so, back in April, I explained how this came to pass. Need a refresher? Since I don’t feel like rerunning the statistics again and because I, too, love good euphemistic humor, yes. Yes, this is all about “Republicans” and “Democrats.” When? I think someone asked that. When? Over the last thirty years, with a terminal collapse this past decade. That’s when. Newton was 77% Republican in 1990, 55% Republican in 2000, 53% in 2010, and it is perhaps only 40% Republican today. The Democrats now being firmly in control are doing what Democrats do.

What do you do now? Someone mentioned running to somewhere with more Republicans and fewer Democrats. That might work for a day or a season, but in the words of the great Democrat visionary, Idi Amin, “you cannot run faster than a bullet.” Don’t run. Stay and enjoy the party! At this rate, you should see those cool flying pyramids anytime now. As for the taxes, here are some totally-not-satirical suggestions:

Don thy bowtie. Apologize for something – anything. Say “Muh Republic” five times or 5,000 times. Hand out copies of the Holy Constitution (or reserve in case of another toilet paper shortage). Sing “God Bless the USA” by Lee Greenwood … just maybe omit “God” so as not to offend anyone (including God). (Heck, just use the Boomer/Beatles lyrics to be really safe). And, don’t forget the big one – VOOOOTE. 

In all seriousness, you’re in a pickle. I have some legitimate advice suited to this advanced stage. You’ve tipped into the territory where the solutions have more to do with chemistry and physics than law and politics. Honestly, we’re better confining those recommendations to fiction. You’ll know it if you see it. Or not. For the here and now, MB has done an outstanding job rallying the remnant against this dreadful if totally predictable curse. Appeal! Prepare to sue! Jam it up, baby! Lawsuits do, at times, still work.

Beating the BS out of Anti-BDS

Last February, on these very digital pages, I described Abby Martin’s lawsuit against Israel, er, Georgia as “Iron-clad.” It was. A few days ago, a federal judge actually did his job and struck down Georgia’s illegal BDS law. “Judge Mark Cohen wrote in his ruling that Georgia’s law ‘prohibits inherently expressive conduct protected by the First Amendment.’” This does explain the wailing. It’s not the cicadas. It’s John Hagee. 

All of these laws, nationwide, are illegal; heretofore, they’ve all been declared illegal. So, there’s your legal victory! There is still a modicum of hope. And, it leads me to…

Reason Number Eight to Love Gal Gadot!

Yeah, you knew I was itching to further indulge my celebrity crush, to dote on the Gadot. As I noted last week, she’s a walking, talking billboard for Israel and she’s Jewish to her beautiful core. Yet, she appears to have no desire to write or control American legal policy. Why would she? Again, she’s the real deal. Unlike those of the power-mad, latter-day Pharisaical variety who suggest anti-civilizational constraints on the West, and their useless idiots like Brian “Muh Big Truck” Kemp, Gadot seeks to please, help, and heal in whatever she does. 

Here, I realize a few things about the audience. There is a persistent refusal to acknowledge the difference between the nation and the state, as evidenced by the current Newtonian Republican-Democrat misunderstanding. I know it’s the same regarding a widely-divergent religion, an ancient theocracy that ended 2,000 years ago, a modern secular country, and the relationships between religious people in that modern country with others of titular similitude within and without that country.  I know the average Amerikan couldn’t find Israel on a map of the Middle East if one unrolled it in front of him and tapped incessantly on the strip of land between Egypt and Lebanon. Most can’t tell an Ashkenazi from a Cochin from a Karaite in the ground. 

To keep this simple, at a Farcebook-TeeVee level: Gal Gadot is a REAL Jew, a Child of God, a member of the Elect, etc. The ones who show up, demand you bless them, and then curse you and rewrite your laws to your detriment are FAKES. People who express unwavering support for the fakes are called idiots or, also, Republicans (the literal political kind, not the genteel substitute European kind).

Gorgeous Gadot is not a Jezebel. She’s not even a Rebecca; I can’t find any guile or deception in her – and I, ashamedly, looked. Based on the way some of the fakes recently attacked her like a leper (and the fact that few or none of them supported her), she could be a Miriam. Sarah! She’s full of beauty, kindness, and hospitality! People love her for it.

I’m happy to report that the bots, trolls, and lowlifes of the social media world are exhausting themselves. The press is still useless.* But the real people, her loyal, decent fans, the ones she allegedly angered or whatever, have retaken the commentary. They’re not mad and they never were – not with her, and there are something like a million more of them than there were two weeks ago. BTW, watch Episode Five of GG’s IMPACT! At drafting time, I hadn’t noticed any new personal messages from the lovely lady. However, her Yaron (I really like that guy) has restarted the feel-good posts. Keep doing what you’re doing, kids. You’re great.

Well, friends around the world, that’s a wrap. Piedmonteers, hang in there. Remember, for further equalization purposes, limit the powdered aluminum to 18% of the total recipe. While cooking, it’s highly thermogenic, so keep the area well ventilated. 

*On or about Monday, your humble author was inducted into the credentialed ranks of the international press corps. Bets on how long before they regret that?