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Thank God we know now just how the Falcons lost in such spectacular fashion. It wasn’t the Russians. It wasn’t Trump. The electoral college had nothing to do with it. The KKK was not involved. And it certainly wasn’t a lack of talent and discipline when facing a vastly superior team. No.

It was Lady Gaga. Atlanta WR Mohamed Sanu (rhymes with coo coo) explains:

Wide receiver Mohamed Sanu told the NFL Network’s Good Morning Football on Friday that Lady Gaga’s 40-minute halftime performance “definitely did” impact the team’s play in the second half.

“Usually, halftime is only like 15 minutes, and when you’re not on the field for like an hour, it’s just like going to work out, like a great workout, and you go sit on the couch for an hour and then try to start working out again,” Sanu said on the NFL Network, via by CBS Sports.

Sanu said he doesn’t “know if you can simulate something like” the lengthy halftime break.

Leading up to past Super Bowl appearances, Patriots head coach Bill Belichick has had his team stop for a half hour in the middle of practice to simulate the halftime performance.

Bill was cheating again. Neither the Falcons, nor any other team, could ever simulate a halftime break during their practices. Unthinkable. Bill. Cheating. Again. Heck, I’ll bet he messed with the time-space continuum in order to warp the Pats straight through halftime – probably in cahoots with Gaga. Gaga-gate. Five game suspension!


Gaga frantically communicates with Belichick via “hidden mic” earpiece as Sanu catches on…. Getty.

This is pitiful and delusional even by Loserville standards. They’ll have a hard time topping that after the Pats win SB LII next year.