A friend and his wife recently told me the little picture of me which I chose for representation on this site “looks like someone straight out of ‘Apocalypse Now.'”

(This guy…)

There was no apocalypse that day as I remember and I certainly don’t want to seem like a scary dude.  I am the exact opposite, unless you happen to be a hungry rabbit molesting my garden…  This particular picture was taken by a client and friend of mine; we were on a business trip to Cincinnati, Ohio, the City of Brotherly Craziness.  It was my first time there and I was very impressed with the town.

(The view of downtown Cincinnati from my hotel room.  Beautiful.)

We visited for a deposition in a Federal civil suit.  A “deposition” is lawyer talk for a question and answer session conducted under oath.  I won’t bore you with the details of my business.  Anyway, we flew in one afternoon and had some time to kill.  Before dinner we went for a walk around downtown.  My buddy and tobacconist, Russell Wilder, had recommended a cigar shop (“third oldest in the nation” or something) and we found it with ease.  Now you understand the cigar.  I happened to be wearing a casual green shirt and there was a man standing over my shoulder holding a plastic bag.  The rest of the picture should be self-explanatory for the most part.  See, nothing scary.

My picture was taken on the plaza at Fountain Square just before dinner.

(The Fountain Square.  More beauty.)

The fountain is named “The Genius of Water.”  It was crafted by Ferdinand von Miller, although in person, it reminded me of Bernini.  You know Bernini.  Apollo chasing Dap…never mind.  Anyway, we were sitting there taking in the sights and sounds of the city while enjoying our cigars, when these nice people came through the crowd distributing free “stuff.”  I think it’s called “swag” on the street. 

The freebies were a promotion for the PowerBall Lottery, which I think is played nationwide.  I usually refrain from playing such games as I view them as a tax on people with poor math skills.  I did, however, gladly accept the PowerBall headband you see in the picture.  I had never had a headband before and the lady who offered it to me was too nice to say “no” to.  I once posted the same picture on Facebook and called it “Perrin to the People.”  Catchy, huh?

Unbeknownst to my friend and I, PowerBall fest was just getting started.  Had we been paying closer attention, we would have seen a van full of performers pull up to the curb.  One of the nice swag-givers set up an enormous boombox and then, all of a sudden, this happened:

(The PowerBall Shuffle…)

Yessire.  Right there on the plaza the afore-mentioned performers (now clad as living PowerBalls) began to dance to the hit tune I’ve Got The Power.  Dozens of bystanders rushed to join the fun.  You can see the gentleman in the hat was having a blast dancing with the red PowerBall.  They do-sa-do’d in style while the music lasted.  Then, just as quick as the party started, it was over.  The crowd dispersed and the afternoon went on.

So, you see, there is nothing in any way out of the ordinary about my little picture.  I’m sure you’ve had a similar lottery-inspired, big city hoedown experience yourself.  For a moment you may have thought the world was ending but there was really nothing apocalyptic about it, was there?

The mean man with the cigar was nothing of the kind.  He was simply a spectator of high street-performance art.  End of story.

By the way, the next time you’re in Cincinnati, bring you’re dancing shoes!