I don’t give a damn what the powerful National Box Association (NBA) has to say. And the Second Amendment does not concern me. The fact is it is past time for a national discussion on boxes. We need common sense box restrictions. #boxcontrol.
How many people have to die because of boxes? How many? I’m serious as a crisis actor. Tell me how many? Would two mass box attacks in a day be too much? How about three in ten days?
The Washington Post has identified one of the people injured in Southeast Austin during Monday’s second package explosion.
Esperanza Herrera is the 75-year-old woman injured in the explosion at the 6700 block of Galindo Street, according to relatives at the scene, the Post reported. They also said her mother, Maria Moreno, suffered minor injuries, the newspaper said.
The incident happened hours after police responded to a previous package explosion at the 4800 block of Oldfort Hill Drive, killing a teenager and injuring a woman, police have said. LaVonne Mason, co-founder of the Austin Area Urban League, told the Post her grandson was the 17-year-old victim killed Monday morning. The newspaper did not name the grandson.
3:20 p.m. update: A 75-year-old woman was injured after picking up an exploding package outside her Southeast Austin home on Monday in the second blast reported in the city and the third similar incident in two weeks, Austin police said.
Interim Police Chief Brian Manley confirmed that evidence suggested that this bombing was related to two previous blasts from “box-type deliveries” that killed a teenager earlier in the day and a 39-year-old man 10 days ago.
Manley warned the public about receiving unexpected or suspicious-looking deliveries in an “average-size delivery box,” but declined to offer more specifics about the packages to protect the integrity of the investigation.
He said the devices can be detonated by moving or by opening the boxes.
Old ladies scarred and terrorized. Generic men and teenage children killed. Enough is enough! I hereby call on President Donald J. Trump to administratively ban boxes via executive order!
High-capacity box-type device.
Assault-style delivery box.
Mercury-triggered, motion-activated killing box.
These are but synonyms for the plain, pure evil that is the box. The box that you, caring nothing for the children, YOU CLING TO! Box clinger!

A few years ago I tabulated some items and places that should be banned for safety. In a momentary lapse of judgment I left off assault boxes. I say ban them. Ban them all – all types of these “packages.” Think, Dear Lord think, of the children.
It wasn’t a total lapse on my part. I specifically named “houses” as being direct accessory venues to all manner of atrocity. Had my recommendations been followed, I believe all of these poor, innocent people in Austin would have been spared. I guess the National House Association is like the NBA – too powerful and too well-connected. I say it’s time to silence these money-grubbing thugs. They no more have freedom of speech than you or I have the right to bear arms.
Okay … the boxes. It’s time, past time, to face facts:
Only the police and the military need such powerful and deadly cardboard constructed receptacles.
You cannot hunt with a box. (You! You with the stick, string, and rock! STFU, Yous!).
More school children in America are killed by boxes every single day than all the guns, cars, sugars, doctors, abortions, swimming pools, lightning bolts, falling trees, exploding hot water heaters, baseball bats, hammers, baseballs, nails, brimstone, and wars from the last three centuries combined.
Bubble wrap, found in many boxes, sounds when popped a lot like: little gun shots, very, very small bombs, or cap pistol fire. This is generally available to untrained civilians in this a supposedly civilized nation. Great Britain made bubble wrap illegal in 1984.
Someone called and told me CNN may classify these attacks as “school shootings”™. Young Hogg may, or may not be, speaking (agent cannot or will not confirm).
Boxes are scary.
They don’t say “the smoking BOX” for nothing.
You’re move likely to be killed with your own box than to use the box to thwart criminals or common woodland predators.
Blue-haired, be-gauged, tatted-up Tide Pod-eaters agree no one needs boxes.
The Second Amendment only allows Eric Holder to sell (or to give) boxes to foreign criminals and terrorists.
Some “big boxes” are banning rifles. I say ban the big boxes.
If you’re against #boxcontrol, you’re a racist.
UPS, FedEx, and other FOR PROFIT box pushers support capitalism. Marx said that’s bad.
Most assault rifles and almost all bullets are shipped and/or sold in boxes. Tell me that’s a coincidence!
Bibles, Constitutions, IQ tests, soap, and geometry books have also been seen inside boxes!
The ridiculous Trump-Twitter administration recently proposed shipping food to poor, hungry people. Shipping the food in boxes. Proof Twitter hates poor people.
Children, left unattended by horrible parents, used to (maybe some still do!) make rudimentary make-believe forts out of larger boxes. This hideous practice, once promoted by the John Birch Society, encourages free play, imagination, violent reenactments (Cowboys and Indians, my a$$), and boxism.
Thursday, after they’ve warmed up with the walk out for communism gun control, the kids are playing hooky for box control.
And … a whole bunch of other worn clichés!
Stop the madness! #boxcontrol!

Imperial Stormtroopers try to make sense of carnage caused by high-capacity, military-esque, assault-style, wouldn’t-the-Unibomber-be-proud, NBA-has-blood-soaked-cardboard box attack. The Statesman.
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