Fourteen Centuries Out of Date

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Many, many years ago, I applied to 2.5 colleges out of my shortlist of 4. I could have those numbers reversed, not sure ALL THESE YEARS later. I was accepted into all 5, though none of the 3 were Penn., home to the Wharton School of Globalism Business. However, Wharton (specifically) had been at least a plausible educational thought – a back-burner institute. Why? Because of the respect I had (still have, grudgingly…) for one of its alumni. Any respect for the school itself is gone now.

I am increasingly worried that 2019 feels ever more like 1929. Back then, inequality was at an all-time high. Authoritarian nationalism was on the rise. World War I had exploded the old global order without creating a new one. Then the stock market crash of October 1929 ignited the horrendous cascade of depression, fascism and World War II —arguably the worst 15 years in history.

Many of the future’s best jobs will require “soft skills” like teamwork and empathy, about the furthest frontier for robots.

Finally, when it comes to politics, “leadership” is the inevitable bromide to reverse the nativist, anti-immigration and anti-globalization sentiment so prominent today. But providing this leadership means more than political rhetoric. What we need is politicians who speak plainly about deep realities and difficult solutions.

We need leaders who defend technology and globalization by both explaining how they work and how societies have benefited from them. Consumers would lose big time from reversing these megatrends — and not just because of tariffs. Having everything from clothing and steel to smartphones and computer chips “made in America” sounds good — until you realize just how much more consumers would have to pay for them.

Leaders should not only show real empathy for the people who have been dislocated by technology and globalization but also present compelling plans for extending the benefits to them. Education is the answer. Issues of access and affordability are no doubt important. But we must also focus on changing education to match the jobs of tomorrow.

Are we fated to re-live the horrors of the 1930s? Certainly not. But we must acknowledge the profound challenges in front of us. “Downton Abbey” is wonderful to watch. But its underlying point is that the naïve optimism of the 1920s was breathtakingly dangerous.

That pack of BS and lies is from a Wharton deen. (DO NOT send your kids there!) Go watch the glorious faded past movie, bub. The man (I guess?) is 1,459 years out of his reckoning. It’s not 1929. It’s more like 470. I wonder if some Roman hand-wringer went about the collapsing Empire soothing the peeps with empathy, immigration, globalization, and education? Probably.

They probably had “conservative” losers (pardon the redundancy redundancy) like this guy.

What’s needed is not mere “outreach” to black, Hispanic, or Jewish voters. Conservatives ought to make elevation of African Americans, immigrants, and religious minorities so central to conservatism that all dedicated racists will be thoroughly repelled. If we can’t make them stop calling themselves the “alt-right,” because they won’t want to be associated with us, we can at least disgust them with such a focus.

Why? Mostly because it’s the right thing to do.

Conservatives don’t [blah, blah, blah]

To accept this reality doesn’t require one to declare that whites are all vile racists or oppressors. It doesn’t require agreeing that the U.S. is fundamentally a white supremacist nation. It just requires the sincere acceptance of two premises: First, that all humans are created equal (the official teaching of the U.S. founders and all Abrahamic religions), and second, that blacks and Hispanics have far worse outcomes in the U.S.

Next year, this fool will declare that whites are all vile racists. “I’m a moron, a cuck, and a liar, just not a racist!” I doubt any real Romans left at the end of the 5th century gave two shits about what bad names their enemies called them.

The good news is that, as I drift further from the foolish mainstream and the decayed culture, I recognize fewer and fewer of these idiots’ names.

The Shirt Index

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The WSJ has a story about what would have been, in any other age, the epitamy of economic insanity – financing sneakers and sweaters. Read that, it’s … great.

I looked for a sweater comparison, over time. The best I could (easily) come up with were men’s shirts at JCPenney.

2019:

Screenshot 2019-09-29 at 12.02.44 PM

1980:

Screenshot 2019-09-29 at 12.00.57 PM

(Regular price is still less expensive than the 2019 sale and less than 60% off the non-sale 2019 model – plus one got the disco-safari theme…)

1958:

Screenshot 2019-09-29 at 12.09.05 PM

(See where this is going?)

1928:

Screenshot 2019-09-29 at 12.10.15 PM

(That’s in cents, not dollars…)

Today, one can finance a new, regular-priced shirt for several payments, each equal to about the total cost of a 1980 shirt, which was still 15 times more expensive than the same thing fifty years earlier. “Inflation” ain’t the word anymore.

These are cheaply manufactured goods whose nominal production costs have fallen (in and of themselves) due to technology and offshoring, etc. Still, regular price to regular price, the modern equivalent is fifty times more expensive than the same thing 90 years before. Averaging the (easily) available IRS data on average incomes from 1920 and 1929, the 1928 American annual wage was about $2,200. Apples to sweaters, the average American, now, should be earning $110,000 per year. Yet, somehow the BLS reports that the true 2019 pay is only $47K, which itself seems a tad high. You’re 57% behind the price of shirts at JCP. Thank God there’s the Goodwill Store, right?

Sorcery is the gift that keeps on taking.

The Anxiety: A Nation Destroyed

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The remains of the state might be divided, but the underlying nation is toast. The resulting human toll is, both comically and tragically, to be expected.

  • Survey reveals about two in five Americans are stressed out by the political climate, and one in five say they’re even losing sleep.
  • Nearly a third of those surveyed feel views expressed on cable news channels are driving them “crazy.”
  • Study author believes problem is akin to a public health crisis in the country.

LINCOLN, Neb. — The past few years in American politics have been tumultuous, to say the least. Personal political beliefs aside, there is no denying that the U.S. has grown especially divided in the wake of Donald Trump’s 2016 presidential election victory. Between social media bots, partisan news coverage, and the president’s frequent Twitter posts, it has never been harder for the average American to avoid being bombarded with some type of political message on an almost hourly basis.

It isn’t a stretch to assume that at some point all of that polarization would have a negative effect on the collective well being of the nation, and a new study conducted at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln has effectively confirmed this assumption. According to researchers, the current U.S. political climate is literally making Americans physically sick, damaging friendships, and driving many people “crazy.”

A fifth and a third, etc., all over Tweets and cable news. Just wait until the M777s start singing…

A failed state trades things like civility and justice for insanity. I just read the verdict in an amazing state criminal case. The attendant sentencing blew my mind in its cruel depravity. I looked at the underlying statute and realized that even when an evil government nominally attempts to pacify a real problem, to craft measured or tempered solutions to appropriately deal with particular circumstances, that all it does is perpetuate the ruse. The utter BS from the media was designed (carefully) to distract the public’s attention. The plan worked perfectly. Those literally going crazy in the face of this horror may really display markers of normalcy. I’ll bet 2% of them – not 2.5 or 3% – wake up, shake it off, and move forward.

And, the rest? If they think it’s bad now, …

The Bankster Speaks

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With a forked tongue. Liars gonna lie.

Proposals to curb immigration will weigh on economic growth in the United States where the existing workforce is growing more slowly as the population ages, Dallas Federal Reserve president Robert Kaplan said on Thursday.

“If you think you are actually going to cut the number of immigrants and grow GDP, those two things do not go together … You need to grow the workforce,” Kaplan said.

He suggested the United States consider reforms that would allow more immigration based on surveys of needed skills. “Trade and immigration loom very large as opportunities for the U.S. to grow faster as opposed to threats.”

Kaplan. Kaplan. Why does that name??? Nevermind. Wouldn’t it be weird if there was some way to increase the workforce without invasion? Crazy, I know.

“The Substitute” – A Preview of Ch. 14

Once more, in case you missed during the week. A few more previews are coming, I think to start tomorrow.

perrinlovett's avatarPERRIN LOVETT

**The following story has appeared previously here and at TPC, being one of the first shorts that converted an otherwise dull nonfiction tome into one heck of a novel. Please find it below, modified slightly. A tale of Tom with the little kids and a CIA flashback to beat the band. other chapters reveal that the connection between international criminals and elementary schools is closer than one would think.**

Chapter Fourteen

Shades of Cuba

The following day, a Wednesday was interesting. He was supposed to have a morning only at L.B. Jever elementary, on the extreme further side of Hammond. The first half of the day was teaching fourth grade, which Tom found quite similar to the fifth. The kids were interested in him and pried about lady friends. When Tom’s evasion didn’t suit them, a little boy walked to the board and scribbled out: “Mr. Ironsides has a girlfriend.”…

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A “Priest” on the New Exorcisms

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I was initially suspicious both of this story and of the subject Priest. Then, I saw that he’s a cigar smoker. A good guy, huh? Anyway, digging through the yeah, still questionable article, he states the fact of the growing darkness.

“Standing your ground, standing firm, really honing your spiritual life,” he advised.

That’s not an easy thing in today’s culture, Cloud warned. He said drugs, ouija boards and a whole host of dark materials on the internet can open you up to dark spirits.

“As the years go by, the cases are getting darker.”

One has to but look around each day, and see the truth in that last quote.

Craves Power and Access

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Jeff Epstein was the lawn jockey in front of the Big Club. He fell over but the clubhouse still stands.

The butler who managed Jeffrey Epstein’s posh Paris pad claims he waited on a rotation of famous faces including Prince Andrew, Bill and Melinda Gates, as well as Steve Bannon, according to a report.

The butler, who only identified himself as Gabriel, has come forward about the convicted pedophile’s celebrity guests during his 18-year career working at the $8 million pied-à-terre, FranceInfo reported.

“I served crowned heads, diplomats, businessmen and politicians,” he told the outlet.

Among the powerful guests he listed were former Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak and Prince Andrew, who would crash several nights at the apartment while Epstein was out of town, according to FranceInfo. The royal has since admitted he “regretted” his friendship with Epstein.

How many dens did the poor billionaire have?! Paris, NYC, Palm Beach, USVI, and where?, Arizona? Probably more. Each formerly filled with the most despicable trash on the planet. One wonders where they’ve all slunk off to now. The answer is probably wherever that “access” lies.

The Anonymous Deep State

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An unnamed CIA agent, probably a sinecure paper-pusher if he even exists, is at the bottom (or somewhere) of the Ukraine! hoax.

The White House learned that a C.I.A. officer had lodged allegations against President Trump’s dealings with Ukraine even as the officer’s whistle-blower complaint was moving through a process meant to protect him against reprisals, people familiar with the matter said on Thursday.

The officer first shared information about potential abuse of power and a White House cover-up with the C.I.A.’s top lawyer through an anonymous process, some of the people said. The lawyer shared the officer’s concerns with White House and Justice Department officials, following policy. Around the same time, the officer separately filed the whistle-blower complaint.

I’ve known several CIA agents and other intel types. They generally come in two classes: the field guys who do the dirty work and the office guys who do the really dirty work. As silly and self-serving as this sounds, I’m interviewing Tom Ironsides about this and other matters. He’s already confirmed what others have told me. Maybe it’s time – past time – to abolish the CIA?

At any rate, this impeachment show may throw a curveball into the 2020 election that even I didn’t foresee. It may well be that this crazed process, successful or not, is what hands Trump his victory over Pocahontas. Who’d a thunk it?

Another prediction: the process moves forward; the House impeaches; the Senate acquites; Trump is reelected. Worst-case scenario (for Trump): Impeachment; CONVICTION; resignation; pardon; … reelection with a vengeance. (Yes, that can happen). It’s more likely that the show trial will expose even more dirt on Biden, the Clintons, and the rest, though I expect absolutely no repercussions for them either. In short, nothing will change.

Speaking of nothing… Anyone heard from “Q” lately? I was wondering what the tally for the sealed military indictments is up to now. Can’t recall if the growth was “natural” or geometric. It could be anywhere between 400,000 and 400 Centillion.

And, every day, 2033 inches closer and closer. Tick, tick, tick…

“The Substitute” – A Preview of Ch. 14

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**The following story has appeared previously here and at TPC, being one of the first shorts that converted an otherwise dull nonfiction tome into one heck of a novel. Please find it below, modified slightly. A tale of Tom with the little kids and a CIA flashback to beat the band. other chapters reveal that the connection between international criminals and elementary schools is closer than one would think.**

 

Chapter Fourteen

Shades of Cuba

The following day, a Wednesday was interesting. He was supposed to have a morning only at L.B. Jever elementary, on the extreme further side of Hammond. The first half of the day was teaching fourth grade, which Tom found quite similar to the fifth. The kids were interested in him and pried about lady friends. When Tom’s evasion didn’t suit them, a little boy walked to the board and scribbled out: “Mr. Ironsides has a girlfriend.” Tom waltzed over and modified it (truthfully): “Mr. Ironsides has [hot] girlfriend[s].” His popularity soared – and not just with the youngsters.

It was mid-morning when an assistant principal approached and begged Tom to stay the whole day and to immediately take over for an ill music teacher. Figuring he had nothing to lose (though also nothing to offer) he agreed. He had a variety of classes and ages. And for them, he devised a plan: they got to color on some Christmas-themed paper he found, then they played “fishball,” a game he invented on the spot that was played like indoor football but with a stuffed fish (found near the art papers). Finally, they watched a short version of Peter and the Wolf. It all seemed to entertain – particularly fishball – for which Tom became an instant legend.

It was probably watching the happy kids running around tossing the stuffed fish that caused him to wander back in time again. It happened when he was going to the lunchroom. Sometimes the mind wanders. In daydreams, a man can relive what he found harrowing as well as those pleasant times that feel now, as they did then, just like dreams. Sometimes, if one isn’t careful, the two meld together. Tom’s brain turned back the calendar to another stage in his life’s journey.

Cuba, Early Spring, 2011, 00:44 Hours…

Tom stood in the door of “his” Dassault Falcon 7X, peering into the gloom above a dark, tropical landscape. The absence of the sun (and the moon) rendered the ordinarily green fields of cane a deep shade of midnight blue. It was after midnight. Technically, it was very early on Friday morning – Tom had just consulted his Submariner around midnite. And, technically, he did not like the feel of this particular night.

The cane…, Tom muttered in his mind, They cut down every cane in the fields.

And, they had, except for two narrow strips, one on each side of the rural roadway. He saw it, even in the dark, as he landed, smoothly, on crumbling, gravelly, barely-there asphalt just South of Sierra Morena, Cuba. The wingtips were literally touching the closest stalks on either side. Now Tom kicked himself for the placement – those cane screens and several stands of trees – out there, just a little, but just a little too close. 

‘Why do I feel like this is a setup?’ Tom asked aloud to the night air.

‘These are the coordinates, boss,’ came an answer from the bottom of the stairs, barely audible over the three idling Pratt & Whitney turbofans. The answer came from “Oak,” a giant of a Team Six NCO, with a beard, biker tattoos, and the Devil’s poker face. He wore his shades despite the near-total darkness. ‘Give the boy a few minutes. He knows what he’s doing.’

The “boy” was Clandestine Services’ new wunderkind, some dazzling experiment out of Air Force Special Ops. He was good with computers. He was twenty-six, good-looking, and gregarious. He did something in Afghanistan. And, he spoke Spanish.

They were supposed to be waiting for us. Damn! This baby makes a lot of noise. Castro, hear us roar,’ Tom grumbled to no-one in particular. Then, he cocked his head and spoke over his shoulder, ‘Birch, how long have we been sitting here wailing like a Banshee?’

“Birch” was Tom’s own guy, picked out of Recon support and run into logistics for the Special Activities Division. He was the only man on the team older than Tom; they had to bend some rules to get him the job but it all worked out very well. The least Jarhead-looking and least Company-looking person imaginable, Birch was a lifesaver.

‘Six minutes, Tom,’ Birch replied with his usual nonchalance. He then called to the remaining support team in the back, ‘We got FLIR onboard? I think we should scan the hedge and the fields.’ 

As the men began searching for heat-ID equipment, Tom scanned the horizon. He had a pretty good view from the hatchway. He went over the mission in his head, still confounded and, if he admitted it, a little shaken. This is the damndest and sickest waste of resources I’ve ever even imagined, he thought, engines running on an open road, in a hostile country, boxed in by sugar cane … all of our lives on the line for what?

The “what” behind this particular overnight excursion into danger bothered Tom to his core. He strongly considered the short time he had left before they could magically blend retirements together and let him walk. 

The plan, as best he understood it, was a simple prisoner exchange – an exchange organized at the behest of friends of the current administration. The Company, for its part, was in country to return a convicted terrorist, maybe the last of the anti-Carriles gang, based on the personal request of Senor Presidente Castro. He had been convicted in, was serving a life sentence in, the US, for terroristic activities against the people of America. The low-life they were picking up was wanted in both countries. The Cubans currently held him on substantial charges of child sex trafficking and some of the vilest allegations of child sex abuse Tom had ever heard. And, Tom had spent the past 25 years hearing the worst the world had to offer.

The pedo-queer, as Tom called him, was wanted in the US in connection with a notorious Florida billionaire’s sex slave island. A few years back, Sugar Daddy Warbucks had been given a light criminal slap on the wrist and sent on his way to the Virgin Islands. It paid to call a former President your buddy and alleged “customer.” Tonight’s loser was wanted for the civil trials, just heating up if the news was to be trusted – a huge if. The thing that kicked Tom hard in the guts was that Mr. Pedo Bear was wanted as a material NON-witness. Someone wanted this degenerate so he would NOT have to testify about the island nor stand trial on his own! Wanted so “they” could keep him out of court and, consequently, out of the reach of true justice.

Cuba was getting a hero back, to keep in cigars and rum through his old age, a dangerous hero released from lawful US custody. In exchange, America’s crooked elites, via the Company, were getting a disgusting threat to children hemisphere-wide that the Cubans probably planned to hang. Both men were escaping justice. Bullshit! doesn’t even come close, thought Tom as he white-knuckled the hatch flange. 

Two men descended the stairs and went to either side of the plane. They had found the FLIR scopes. But, maybe there would be no need… Before they even took up positions in the cane rows, Oak rapped on the side of the stairs. Tom followed the big man’s outstretched fingers and his bellow of ‘ten o’clock.’

Just beyond the tip of the port wing, just off the road, came a rustle and some voices through the hedge. Oak leveled an AK-74 in the voices’ direction. Tom fully cocked his H&K .45 and dropped the safety. From behind, Birch flipped the fire selector on an MP-5. 

Out of the cane walked four men. “The Kid” led the way, followed by a disheveled heap of a bearded, Berkeley professor-looking fellow in a worn tweed sportcoat. Professor Tweed, aka Dr. Shalom Kahneman, was flanked, closely, by two slightly smaller, plain-clothed cookie-cutter copies of Oak. 

Wunderkind spoke (yelled), a little too loudly even over the whine of the engines, ‘Don’t shoot! Don’t shoot! We’re the good guys.’

‘You’re the loud guys,’ Tom growled, ‘Get that piece of shit on the plane and let’s get the hell out before hell breaks out.’

The young Opium War hero stopped at the bottom of the stairs. He called up to Tom, who was just turning towards the cockpit, ‘It was a lovely place. Nice folks too. None of them seemed to work for the regime. Ha! But, they didn’t have your Belicosos finos; I did score you some Soberanos.’

‘Great,’ snorted Tom, ‘you did good kid. Now, get everyone on board. Now!’ He thought for just a moment and added, staring hard at Dr. Pedo who was being led up to the door, ‘Make our guest comfortable. We’re forbidden to interrogate him about … what he knows. But, I want to know everything about him. If I ever need to look, I want to know where to find him anytime, anywhere on God’s Earth.’

The younger man looked confused and almost defensive. He replied, ‘We … we weren’t supposed to…’

‘Oak!’ shouted Tom, ‘Find out for me. And only for me.’

‘You. Got. It. Boss.’ Oak both said to Tom and sneered to the Tweed Dweeb. When Oak had first read the mission dossier, he had left a basketball-sized dent in a steel file cabinet. Tom half hoped for a repeat performance with a living object.

Just then, hell broke out.

‘We’ve got company!’ screamed the FLIR man off the left wing, on the side the boarding party had just come from. Over the JP-fueled noise of whirling aluminum and steel, he had caught multiple voices, maybe a vehicle engine revving. Here and there, lights shone out in the field.

Yep, a trap. They’ve double-crossed us, Tom thought, can’t blame them one bit

‘Move your asses! We’re going, now!’ Tom thundered as he raced to the cockpit. Birch was right behind, slamming himself into the right seat. Tom didn’t even wait for the door to close. As soon as he heard “all in,” he pushed the throttle forward, flipping switched deftly but madly.

Lurching, then rolling steadily forward, they were departing in a hurry for Tampa. Maybe it wasn’t hurrying enough. 

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!

It seemed that “customs” didn’t approve of something in their departure plan, or, maybe, their cargo. Tom was painfully aware that his aircraft was taking small-arms fire. The hiss to his immediate left told him the bird’s skin was compromised. The burning in his left arm, just above the elbow, told him that his was as well.

‘GAH! Hang on!’ He looked down. Blood on his arm. Blood on his shirt. His lap. Some on the controls too. He didn’t feel pain, just a hot, numb sensation spreading from his shoulder to this fingers. Despite whatever was the damage, he gripped the yoke, firm but steady, with his left hand. His right rammed the throttle ahead all the way – actual balls to the bloodied wall. 

They were off the ground before the door was fully shut. A few more ominous CRACKS reverberated through the cabin but it appeared they had escaped. But, at what cost?

‘Everybody okay? Anyone hit? Is anyone hit?’ Tom yelled back through the cabin, his voice drowning the automated alarms that broke out at almost the same moment.

Birch quickly scanned the cabin. ‘We’re good. It’s just you, Tom,’ he said, leaning over to take a better look at the latest addition to Tom’s work-related injuries. ‘That doesn’t look good,’ he said, the nonchalance easing just a tad. He turned back and shouted, ‘Bleeding kit up here now!’ 

‘I’ll live. Gotta bigger bird to fry at the moment,’ Tom said with a slight wince, his eyes alternating between the dark horizon and the instrument panel. 

The Falcon leveled off as it crossed the beach. Florida in a flash but alive too, thought Tom as he adjusted the trim and eased back on the throttle. He had climbed to almost five-hundred feet over land. Within a few seconds, now that the Straits of Florida streamed darkly below his windshield, he dropped. Two-hundred feet. One-fifty. One-hundred. Accompanied by further electronic cries of impending disaster, he stopped the descent at what he reckoned was about seventy-five feet. Low altitude came with increased danger but it cut radar visibility. Now, he had to address all the alarms… 

Triage, normally a welcomed rite on the battlefield, was a severe inconvenience at the moment. The team medic visually assessed the wound. He leaned around, forcing himself between Tom and the seatback, a fit tight and awkward. ‘I need to get a tourniquet on,’ he said matter of factly.

‘I need to keep us in the air,’ Tom replied as he worked through a list of automated warnings, he added to himself (maybe to Birch), ‘this thing isn’t as pitch trim friendly as you’d expect.’

A few grumbling protestations from the pilot and his blood stopped squirting out. ‘I’m gonna hit it and then give you a shot, sir,’ said the medic.

‘Fine. Make it quick,’ Tom replied without looking, ‘Birch, we got a problem. Left nacelle’s been hit. Hard. Think I’ve got a fire. No power. … Number two doesn’t seem happy either. … Right is … right, fine. Get out the emergency procedures manual. Somewhere over by you. Book.’

‘Got it,’ Birch said after a short search. He turned on a custom red map light and started thumbing – for what he wasn’t sure.

‘Gotta cut out number three. I can’t risk dragging a flare behind us,’ Tom half said to himself. Without glancing over he started a series of orders to Birch, ‘Engage the A-P-U. Start with the overhead and then operate off the fire control panel,’ he said, pointing up and then forward for the benefit of his confused co-pilot. ‘Just read through it and listen to me.’

In a remarkably short time, the medic still hovering over his shoulders, Tom stopped fuel to his dead port engine. Satisfied it was off, he managed to bleed out and restart the central fan – something was jamming the intake or the s-duct. Without any ability to properly diagnose it, he decided to get it running and open it full blast. ‘I’ll make her happy. Use her for full thrust and steer with number one if I have too,’ Tom informed Birch. Without understanding much beyond the severity of the situation, Birch concurred. He relied less on Tom’s limited aviation experience and more on his confidence. Knowing Tom wouldn’t break radio silence – for anything – until they were on approach (to somewhere), it was in their hands and God’s.

After a minute or three, they thought they had salvaged the flight. Tom shouted to the rear, ‘I need eyes left and behind! I’m gonna jink. Gotta tell me if we’re burning.’ He knew, even in the absence of radar, open flames make for excellent air-to-air, SAM, or gun targeting. A few herky-jerky turns later he was informed (and satisfied) that they might be trailing sparks and smoke but no open flame. 

The pilot almost cracked a smile. Then, he turned and yelled to Oak, ‘Start getting me some information out of that hobo.’ Oak commenced in expert fashion. A few thumps and screams later and Tom heard their passenger begin to excitedly speak.

The kid called up to the cockpit, ‘He says he wants a lawyer. Says he wants to see the Israeli ambassador.’

‘Check the overheads! See if we have some of those,’ Tom said sarcastically, ‘Oak! Tell that child-molesting faggot if he doesn’t start talking, he’s going to take a high dive at five-hundred miles per hour!’ Oak said more than that. Whatever it was, it got some results – discreetly recorded for Tom’s use only.

‘We’re not going five-hundred,’ Birch informed, over the still screeching warning alarms, ‘Maybe holding two-seventy … two-eighty.’

‘And, that’s all we’re gonna get, man,’ said Tom, just as his eyes settled on a new warning message. He scanned the gauges several times. ‘Well, hell,’ he almost chuckled, ‘Losing fuel. Our gate crew did some fine shooting. Okay, MacDill is out of the question. Homestead might… Hey, everybody, we’re going to Key West!’

At their present speed – if the gas (and their luck) held – Naval Air Station Key West was a little under one-hundred miles away. The Fates relented and both fuel and luck held. When he was confident he was approaching American waters and airspace, Tom climbed a little. Then, he gave Birch the go-ahead to radio for an emergency landing.

Maybe a newbie, the airman in the tower didn’t quite understand Birch’s classified code speak. But, he did gather there was a serious problem with the aircraft that had just magically appeared on his radar. They got a few warnings, some confusion, and then permission to land.

A minute or two later they could see runway lights ahead; Tom swung out a little right so as to approach North by Northwest. Key West, famed Southerly end of America, shone brightly to their left. A distant glow to the right told them the juice was still on in Miami. 

Tom prepped for landing and addressed one final alarm – something was wrong with part (or all) of his landing gear. ‘El revolucionarios are pretty damned good,’ Tom sneered through a grimace, ‘Brace for a crash! Now!’

As the whole team did their best to brace, Tom counted down the altimeter, synching it with the rapidly growing ground outside. Final adjustments. Power back. Nose up. Three. Two. One… With a thud and a grinding, whining sound they were back on Earth. The Falcon jerked and jolted. It wanted to drift left. With Birch’s assistance, Tom held her straight and tried his best to brake. Those boys shot the shit out of us, he thought, saaalute, commies.

In the end, they rolled almost the length of the runway before coming to a shuddering stop. Outside, a small armada of firetrucks and military police vehicles converged on the wreck.

The stairs opened and settled on the ground with a clang. They were listing considerably to the left, one rear landing gear assembly was destroyed and the corresponding wingtip was almost touching the composite surface of runway 14-32. Birch was the first off and immediately talking to MPs and then an officer. It was now understood they were to be unhindered. Exactly who they were and what they were doing was speculated over but not asked about. The fire crew ordered all parties out. An ambulance came for a reluctant team leader.

Tom was the last off. He walked slowly towards Birch, the kid, Oak, and the paramedics. As he closed in on Professor Pedo he couldn’t help himself. He drove his right foot forcefully into the back of the man’s left knee and rode him down. In a flash, he delivered a powerful forearm strike to the shrieking non-witness’s head, the head which literally bounced on the tarmac. As the friend of a friend of a former president spit blood and teeth and whimpered, Tom casually spoke as he passed, ‘I’ll see you again one night, my friend.’  

As he climbed into the back of a waiting ambulance, the kid leaned in with words to lionize, ‘That was excellent flying, sir. I’ve been meaning to ask. How long have you had your pilot’s license?’

‘What license?’ Tom answered just as the doors closed.

Late that afternoon an exhausted paramilitary operations officer walked into the reception area outside a briefing room in the CENTCOM bunker at MacDill Air Force Base. His jacket loosely draped over his shoulder, hid a brand new blue sling. He stopped at a little concierge table. After adding two fingers of Scotch to his styrofoam coffee cup he fumbled with his flask. 

‘Can I help you with that contraband, sir,’ came a semi-sultry voice from behind. Tom glanced over at a very attractive, very young woman in uniform. 

‘Well, hey there, darling,’ he started as he scanned for insignia and what might lie beneath, ‘…Lieutenant. Can you help me get this back in my coat pocket? This sling makes it difficult … I was playing polo and… It’s Bowmore, the best your BX had. Don’t want to lose it. I’ve got the rest in my car if you’re free in an hour.’

With a polite word (maybe a sarcastic threat) the woman with short blonde hair eased the flask back where it belonged. She gave Tom a pat on his chest and then a knowing, sadistic tap on the left arm. As she walked away, he noticed that she looked back. She looked but she didn’t catch the kiss he blew.

A no-nonsense-looking Air Force one-star hailed Tom from an adjoining room, ‘Commander Bond, if you’re done harassing my officer, we’re ready to get started in here. Langley’s on screen.’

Tom entered and rattled off his report, expressing plenty of not-so-subtle disdain for the mission and for those who had requested it. He especially wanted to know why their “guest,” after a visit to the emergency room, was turned over to the private security firm of the Federal Reserve. He received no answers. He was upbraided for wrecking the plane (‘What plane?’ defied Tom) and for brutalizing an important NON-witness (‘I’m not responsible for anything the Cubans did,’ was all that got them). Then, at last, the conversation turned pleasant. As he expected, the bean-counters were cobbling together about 28 years worth of retirement (of one kind and another) for services rendered to a grateful, if uninformed, nation. His coming trip to Headquarters would likely be his last.

On his way out of the office, as he scanned for the Blonde Sadist, his new one-star friend walked up to him and spoke, ‘Colonel, my boy mentioned something about a cigar mix up in between what “the Cubans did” and the here and now.’ He offered Tom three Belicosos finos from his pocket. America still had some decent brass.

Way too late that evening, Tom slumped over the bar at Steak O’Brien’s, Palma Ceia’s finest watering hole. Michelle, the twenty-something Barbie doll bartender in the low-cut white t-shirt, leaned towards him as she had the past two hours. Thirty minutes later, as they left together, she cooed, ‘So, again … what’d you do to your arm?’

‘Like I told you, I’m a drug dealer. Had a shootout with the police,’ Tom said flatly as he tightened his grip on her waist. 

‘Bullshit! You are the police.’

‘Well, I do have some handcuffs.’

Despite his not sleeping for the past forty-eight hours, 00:44 Saturday morning was considerably more enjoyable than the same time the previous day.

Seven-plus years later, at Jever Elementary, the lunchroom…

Tom stared ahead at nothing. Michelle had been fun. Now, which breakup was she? Did she ever still text? Call? He pondered hard; it was difficult to keep count. Maybe, maybe it was best to finally leave the college girls back in college. Was thirty the new floor? Young Ms. Tomlinson, here, she was probably just about right… Then, he saw the glimmer on her left hand. Ah, well, it wouldn’t work anyway.

MRS. Lucie Tomlinson sat at the other end of the lunchroom table. He had just returned to her nineteen Kindergarteners after a rousing music class. He was graciously invited to dine with the young academics and their lovely leader. This being December, the wonderful lunch ladies at L.D. Jever Elementary, a South Carolina blue ribbon award winner for increasing STEM diversity or something, had prepared turkey, gravy, and mashed potatoes. Following confusion about how to make change for a Ten, Tom’s turkey was free. And, it was pretty good.

To Tom’s right, a little girl with long, curly brown hair approved of the mashed potatoes. In fact, she was wearing them on her shirt sleeve. After the claymation video of “Peter and the Wolf” concluded – Tom’s second screening of the day – little Ms. Macey Somebody had crayoned a picture of Santa for her parents. Tom received a half-finished, nearly all green drawing of Rudolf. 

She recounted the various adventures of her cat. She did not like red peppers. Mr. “Eyesnides” looked like a giant Christmas elf. Then, she exclaimed about the mashed potatoes on her sleeve.

Tom acknowledged, ‘Hey, little lady, you’ve got mashed potatoes on your sleeve.’ 

He also, silently, acknowledged the good he had done two Decembers before on his Mediterranean “vacation.” What were the odds of finding Professor Pedo in Sicily, at that hotel, at that time of the night? Tom remembered it, heard it again with lucid clarity – that sweet, soft sound of success – of justice: Pfwoot! Pfwoot! Pfwoot! He had almost left an apologetic note for room service; he had left a drop knife and some photographs for the inspectors.

He smiled. What he had done, he had done for this little girl and so many others just like her. It was a darn good day. But, he had no idea how sometimes the past can still catch up with the present. He’d find out…

 

The Substitute hits bookshelves soon…

cvr teaser

(Cover, formatting, and some details subject to change).

After some bad news…

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More bad news. About the kitchen table economics.

Though the gap between the richest and poorest expanded, the nation’s median household income topped $63,000 for the first time – though after adjusting for inflation, it’s roughly the same as it was 20 years ago.

The persistent rise in inequality has become a central topic in the 2020 presidential race, with candidates such as Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren calling for a wealth tax. This week, Sanders announced his plan for a wealth tax as high as 8% on the ultrawealthy, which would raise $4.35 trillion over a decade, according to analysis by economists who consulted with the Warren and Sanders campaigns.

“There should be no billionaires,” Sanders tweeted to announce his plan. “We are going to tax their extreme wealth and invest in working people.”

Yes, yes. It’s all minimum wage and the billionaires holding us back. Totally not the funny money financial sorcery!

If the people weren’t jealous and stupid, they could see through Bernie’s rhetoric. The rich, even those of sorcerous origins, don’t swim around in pools of cash like Scrooge McDuck. That extreme wealth is what keeps working people working. The effective zero percent increase in buying power is something he could latch onto – if he wasn’t part of the problem. Same with Warren. Maybe ditto for Trump. And, if one thinks anything to do with the minimum wage has any bearing on … I’ll just let that go.

Should I ever seek the office of Emperor, I’ll put all this (and more!) in my “issues” section. Until then, you have this Highly Respected Web Log.

A preview from “The Substitute” coming later this evening!