So, yesterday I had the opportunity to try out my terrorism template after some son of a bitch attacked Germans at a train station. It seems another jihadist bastard did the same thing on the same day in Boston – at a Macy’s.

Gurney-ride to hell, courtesy of the police.

Police responded to the Silver City Galleria shopping mall just before 7:00 p.m. after the suspect, identified as 28-year-old Arthur DaRosa, crashed a black Honda Accord into the entrance of a Macy’s store.

“We saw the car just like dove right in,” a woman said. “It honestly happened like the fastest thing.”

Moments later, police say DaRosa exited his car, assaulted multiple people inside Macy’s, and then walked into a Bertucci’s restaurant inside the mall. Inside the restaurant, DaRosa allegedly stabbed multiple people including a 56-year-old man who died. DaRosa was shot and killed by an off-duty Plymouth County sheriff’s deputy inside the mall.

I challenge you to find a comprehensive account of the incident and apply my template. I would also challenge you to start carrying a weapon to the mall and other public places. A pistol or a Monadnock nightstick might have been of some use in Boston yesterday. Then again, this is the place where they arrest men for carrying umbrellas which look like swords, which of course look like rifles to idiots. Idiots call the S.W.A.T. team. Umbrella carriers get arrested. Odd, yes. It chanced to rain…

2011 response to a man with an umbrella call. No Islamists were hurt in that ordeal. Masslive.com.

Actually, if you live in Bean-town, you might consider moving to New Hampshire, Vermont, or Texas – where guns are welcome but criminals really are not. Word has it Charlie Baker will hold a joint press conference later today with Bernie Sanders and the Brady Bunch (of nuts) to call for banning Honda Accords and all knives (combat, silver, pocket, plastic, etc.) – to keep us safe…

The Boston and Munich attacks – both with knives – came immediately after ISIS put out a how-to post on committing murders with knives. Just a strange coincidence to be sure. Hussein Obama will also hold a press conference later this week: one, to correct us that it is ISIL, not ISIS; two, to denounce knives, and; three, to call for increased muslim migration to the West. He’ll do what he has to.

You do what you have to too; break the law, carry a gun.