TERROR IN [Insert City – Munich]!
[City – Munich] was the scene of carnage today after terrorists [stabbed passengers] [at] the [Grafing train station]. [At least one] [is] dead and [three] are injured, some critically.
A terrorists [began hacking and stabbing] around [8:30 a.m.] at the [station following a bomb hoax call]. In the blink of an eye [morning commutes] turned into a nightmare for those present. The injured victims are being treated at local hospitals. [“Murder just doesn’t happen here,” said Akrivis Konstantinos, who owns a Greek taverna right across the road from the train station where the early morning attack took place.
An eyewitness has described the attack to Bild newspaper.
“I heard screams, I saw a man lying on the ground, begging a man who stood over him. ‘I love God, I love Allah,’ he was saying, obviously to save himself,” the newspaper quoted the witness, who has not been named, as saying.].
[Insert pictures of the aftermath]
Immediately prior to [stabbing] the assailant screamed, “Allah Akbar!” [The assailant made “politically motivated comments” as he attacked though no known terrorist group] has claimed responsibility.
[Insert security footage of Islamic attackers just before bombing, etc.]
Don’t have that yet…
[Germany] is on highest alert. Residents are being told to shelter in place as [police and/or military] units scour the area for additional suspects [and/or unexploded bombs, casings, other evidence]. [Quote: The German authorities say they do not the believe the attack was linked to Islamist terrorism and they believe the suspect has mental health problems. ]. “Allah Akbar”??? No terror links. Huh? Bullshit. Anyway….
[Angelika Obermayr] vowed today to leave no stone unturned to bring the perpetrators and their supporters to justice. [Town mayor Angelika Obermayr has expressed her shock at the bloody crime in her sleepy town of 13,000 people.
“We are an absolutely peaceful Bavarian small town in the greater Munich region,” she said on NTV.].
In [America] [Idiot President Hussein Obama] declared, “[nothing – like it never happened]”. [Inapplicable]. The shocked attention of the world is now turned towards the people of [Munich].
[Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump] called for immediately carpet bombing the entire Middle East. [Democratic Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton] called for compassion for the Muslim population of Europe and for all refugees.
The facts of and motives behind the [knife] in [Munich] are not clear at this time. It is important, despite the claims and boasts of ISIS, that the public not rush to judgement. [
Germany, which is playing a supporting role in the fight against Islamic State, has not suffered a major attack by Islamist militants on the scale of those that have hit neighbouring France and Belgium. However, German security services are on alert and ministers have repeatedly warned of a possible attack.]. In spite of what happened today we all know Islam is a peaceful religion. The government will make things right.
Not bad if I do say so. I was a little off with some plurals and other items but I had the jist down. I had to deviate a little and add a little American satirical commentary. There will be plenty more attacks so I can refine the structure. This would almost be funny if it wasn’t so damned deadly serious.