I can haz Goodles??
Yes, yes I can.
Get yours from the source.
Taste test review … later. Thanks, again, to the wonderful GG.
PS: Yes, I have a beard. A grey beard.
12 Thursday May 2022
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20 Wednesday Apr 2022
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For the first time in about fifty years, a little truth crept into some MSM headlines and stories. Carlos Slim’s little blog casually admitted that the Ukies, not the Russians, cluster bomb their own civilians. There’s something, something about blaming Russia, but still, this was as close to an honest admission as we’re going to get these days. Except for what Bloomberg and a few slightly more reputable outlets were spinning…
Today’s American “democracy” means the promotion of our more cherished and time-honored values: usury, narcotics, hoaxes, perpetual war, lies, idiocy, Antibody-dependent Enhancement, etc. All of it is in jeopardy because of something, something Russia. Or something.
One might recall that just last month, on March 15, 2022, retired Lt. Col. Ben Hodges, former commander of the US Army Europe, confidently told the gullible public that, “Russians are about 10 days away from what is called the culminating point, when they just no longer have the ammunition nor the manpower to keep up their assault.” One might then consult a calendar and realize that this statement might have been just a teeny weeny little itty bitty bit of total projection and bullshit.
Some in the media kind of noticed something off with this situation, which is really odd. It’s even stranger that they were allowed to mention it. The Times’s wailing about the “arsenal of democracy” was an admission that it’s not the Rooskies who are running out of ammo. As I noted a few weeks ago, the empire is so weak that it has to lose this one on the back of neo-Nazi proxies. The strategy thus far has been to provide the Azov-SS with intel and small and medium arms. Great heaping shipments of missiles, rifle rounds, mines, and artillery shells flow into Ukraine. Russia makes a sport of turning these shipments into burning rubbish. The Banderaites continue to surrender or die. Moscow rolls. DC panics. The MSM lies. The cycle repeats. But the cycle is beginning to take a hard toll.
It’s been nearly a month since the MSM’s military “expert,” Hodges, got it dead wrong about Russia’s culmination. Phase Two is now in progress and the SMO proceeds unimpeded. Mad Vlad has somehow managed to find enough men and munitions somewhere – probably in Russia’s huge manpower reserves and her massive armaments industry. The truth is that the US’s and NATO’s supplies of weapons are running low. The point of some of this new, honest reporting is that the choice manifesting is whether to keep funneling targets for the VVS and AVMF to destroy on arrival or to keep some of the stuff in case, you know, ‘Murica and NATO need them.
The US has lost both the manufacturing capacity and the necessary skilled labor to readily replenish the stocks that Brandon keeps giving away. The Boomers inherited a gold mine because the US of their childhoods was the only nation with a major manufacturing sector that survived World War II intact. They also stumbled into the budding Bretton Woods reserve dollar and the relatively high-IQ American workforce. Easy times made for soft men, and the soft men squandered it all and then some.
There’s also the uncomfortable fact that the US’s astronomical military budgets don’t fund much in the way of working weapons systems. All those albatross-around-the-neck foreign bases aren’t cheap. Neither is the make-work, the HR costs, the retirements, or the MIC graft. It’s not the arsenal of democracy, it’s the arsenal of globalization, with the attendant financialization and creeping incrementalism.
[I had A LOT more, here, but cut it so I could wrap with the stellar, improvised conclusion, below.]*
The US doesn’t make much anymore. The heyday was some time ago. About the only things we still make in large numbers are fairytale stories of grandeur, excuses, and fake loans of money that never existed. It’s all beyond stupid; there’s an element of evil in it.
In not-unrelated news, I was originally going to relate some interesting news about a certain railroad and a certain fertilizer company, both owned, in part, by the same certain investment institutions. The US does still have the ability to make fertilizer. They’re just going to cut way back on it … because banks? In short, the mass financialization of the US economy might end up meaning something worse than recessions and inflation. How about a little famine? You’ll eat nothing, and you’ll be happy!
Time will tell. I’m sure the powers that be have our best interests in mind. Now might be a good time to mention nationalism and national capitalism, but that’s a subject for another day, maybe for another country. At any rate, I have the honor of ending this one on a high note!
War and contrived fertilizer shortages aside, it just got a little easier to come by Goodles! We owe this development to GG. Here she is with the final word:
*I also cut much of the fire and wrath from this one. Call it the “GG effect.”
19 Tuesday Apr 2022
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29 Tuesday Mar 2022
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17 Wednesday Nov 2021
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Today I present a first for my column, my blog, and anything else I have ever written. I herein review a macaroni and cheese!
It’s GOODLES! Where, as they put it, they do mac ‘n’ cheese “gooder.” Get it?
Out of an abundance of honesty, I have not sampled any of their pasta – yet. However, I implicitly trust one of the co-founders, so it’s all good(er). Let’s hear from her:
When does the woman sleep?! Gal just cranked out baby number three. Her “Red Notice” is currently the top movie in the world – and one I might venture into a theater to watch (I’m surprised too just at the notion). She’s working on 10,000 other things. And still, she found time to reinvent the noodle.
Why and how? Well, recently she explained the matter to an eager James Corden. She said that when she was a little girl growing up in Themyscira Israel, her aunt and uncle would travel from the US for visits. Like any good relatives, they brought with them heaping bags of boxes of store-bought mac ‘n’ cheese. Thus began Gal’s love of the staple. Now, with three girls of her own, the trend obviously continues. And, as Wonder Woman and an all-around wonderful perfect gal, Gal wanted to reinvigorate the dish. Make it healthier. Heartier. Happier. She wanted to do for the boiled bowl what she does to everything else – make it perfect for everyone.
She found the opportunity thanks to some of the other ardent pasta lovers at Goodles. Click around the website, please. Then, as I will, click over and order a few boxes.
As of press time, they offer four flavors: Cheddy Mac, Mover & Shaker, Shella Good, and Twist My Parm. What sets these selections apart? For starters, according to Gal, team Corden, and numerous reviews, they just taste better, the way macaroni used to. It’s also packed with protein. 14 grams of protein per serving, to be precise. Read through the ingredients. Shunning the evils of soy, they opted for wholesome chickpea to beef up the wheat base.
Based on the listed nutrition values, I suspect Goodles might make for excellent prepper/bug-out/survival food. There is the matter of preparation on the go, but that can and will be field-tested. I also suspect something like Shella Good might be hella good paired with Freedom Roasters Coffee. I further suspect that to cross-promote brands and add caffeine, the pasta could be boiled in FRC coffee. Maybe? We’ll find out one day.
While you’re shopping, take note of the variety packs and the be-logo’d “swag.” At the moment, I can’t see how roller skates would augment a crowd-pleasing snack – though they surely can’t hurt. Then again, if Gal Gadot is behind it, it has to be right. (Perrin is a proud unpaid, unofficial, unsolicited spokesman for all things GG). Buy a beanie or something, folks. Do your part.
I’ve done mine and now I’m going to wrap this one up with a little humor. During her first hinting roll-out promo video, it sounded to me like Gal was channeling her inner Trump. “It’s huge. HUGE,” she said before nibbling on a noodle. So, in due course, I’d like to add some additional Orange Man-esque suggestions:
“You’re gonna have the best pasta. Better than you’ve ever seen.”
“We’re gonna drain the Velveeta. That’s right.”
“We will lock up Krooked Kraft!”
“The competition is not sending us their best. No. Empty calories, unpronounceable chemical additives, gas-inducing garbage, and some, I imagine, are good shells…”
“We’re going to BUILD THE CHEESE. And Macaroni will pay for it.”
“Look at that noodle. Look at her! If she wasn’t my noodle … I’d date her.”
(You don’t even have to credit me, Goodles! Free for the taking.)
Yes, it felt good, for once in a great while, ginning up a simple script about something happy, innocent, and helpful. But that’s the power of the world’s greatest actress and the newest, goodest noodle company going. Ah.
*What I have from the world of Tolkien – it’s really good – can wait (it’s lurked in draft form in the hopper for some six years already). And, yes, I am tracking the painfully slow pace of Kyle Rittenhouse’s verdict. More on that when it comes. For now, I thought this subject was more fun, certainly more nutritious, and in keeping with my endless praise of all things GG.
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