A Good Cigar Is A Smoke!

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It’s no secret that I love a good cigar, more than one if I can get them.  Both of my grandfathers were avid cigar enthusiasts so maybe I inherited the gene.  Dad smoked cigarettes when I was young and I never liked the smell.  I never smoked cigarettes and I assumed cigars were essentially the same thing.  That’s like assuming a rickshaw and the space shuttle are the same.

Within the cigar world there are many different levels.  Here’s the story of my cigar learning curve:

My first cigar was a drugstore variety Vega and Garcia cheapo that my old buddy Derek brought to my bachelor party.  At the time I had no idea what a good cigar was and I had nothing to compare the experience to.  I puffed away gingerly; the taste was extremely strong to me.  The next day, as I took my vows, I could still taste it – even after numerous beers, a pot of coffee, and brushing my teeth ten times.  My wife never said anything. 

The next year a friend had a baby.  I went to Walgreens and dutifully bought the exact model Derek had supplied for the occasion.  The experience was much the same.  I wrote off cigars as offensive and impractical.  I had two brother-in-laws who smoked cigars.  I assumed their sticks were the same as what I had tried.  One brother came for a visit and gave me a real Cuban – a Romeo and Julieta, No. 2, Tubo.  He lit one up on the patio and encouraged me to do the same.  I politely declined.  I put the little tube, cigar and all, away.  Several years later the other brother had us over to his house.  I knew he would have a cigar.  The mystique of the Cuban called on me and I brought it along.  After a while I lit it up.  I knew nothing at the time about proper cigar preservation and the stick was a bit dry.  However, I realized immediately the difference between dime store cigars and premium cigars.  Even dry, that Cuban was great.

I wasn’t hooked right away.  I had several more non-Cuban smokes over the next year or two.  Then, one summer, when we were all at the beach I decided to grab a few cigars for the guys.  At that time I had only been in a real cigar shop once as a child – with my grandfather.  I didn’t know where the things were sold!  I ended up buying even lower grade cheapos than before.  I felt like a hobo.

At the end of the same summer, the family eating at Outback.  I had previously said something about wanting another cigar.  My dear wife remembered and pointed out a cigar shop in the adjacent shopping center!  I ventured in and explained my amateur plight to the shop keep.  He took me into the walk-in humidor (I had never been in one before).  There I saw thousands of cigars of all sorts.  He recommend two mild sticks – an Avo No. 2, natural and a local blend of some kind.  I tried both over the next week – they were excellent.  The following weekend we were back at Outback.  After eating I announced I was going back to the shop for another smoke.  Great was my surprise to discover the place had gone out of business between my trips.  I was sad.

Soon after we went to the mall.  On the way back, my eagle-eyed wife said, “There’s a cigar shop!”  I missed it and kept driving.  Then, a few blocks away, she spotted another one.  I made the turn and found my then cigar home.  Two years later we relocated to Augusta and I discovered Top Shelf Cigars, the finest shop in the Southeast. 

My taste in cigars has changed somewhat over the years.  Newbies generally stick with lighter, milder sticks; the intensity of a full-bodied cigar can be a bit overwhelming to a beginner.  After years of experimenting I have come to love the flavor of dark, full-bodied cigars.  I enjoy rich earthy tones, mingled with hints of wood and leather and spice.  No, I do not have the sophisticated palate of a Cigar Aficionado reviewer.  But, I know what I like and I tend to stick with it.  For my tastes cigars from Nicaragua offer the most harmonious smoking.  Perdomo and Gran Habano are among my favorite brands. 

I also tend to gravitate to larger cigars.  My theory is that a large cigar delivers more flavor per puff.  Perdomo and Gran Habano offer several such titans which draw (deliver smoke) easily and also burn evenly.  Nothing is more frustrating to a cigar lover than a stick which burns unevenly or worse, is hard to draw smoke through.  As with most things, higher quality usually means a higher price – most of the cigars I enjoy run in the $8 – $12 dollar range.  There are however, numerous lower priced cigars suitable for different events.  For instance, while fishing or mowing the lawn, a $3 – 4 stick is an excellent choice.  All of these prices have practically doubled in the short time I have engaged in the cigar sport – mainly due to the government.  Inflation is always at work but cigars and other tobacco products have been singled out for rough tax treatment of late. 

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(A big boy!)

Unlike cigarettes, which are usually consumed out of habit, cigars are made to be enjoyed for their own sake.  The experience contributes greatly to an improved quality of life.  I think with clarity while smoking and I try to treat each cigar as a unique event.  I do not feel a compulsion to smoke just to have something to do.  By the way, those larger cigars of mine tend to last between 2 to 3 plus hours.  Time and economic considerations limit the frequency and intensity with which I smoke.  Most (but not all!) people I know are subject to the same limitations.

Your tastes may be completely different from mine.  Of course, variety is the spice of life.  Fortunately for me (and you), the cigar world offers a wide range of tastes and sizes.  Your local shop probably has several hundred varieties to choose from.  Every once in a while, I like to mix up my preferences.  Tastes may be affected by the season, the weather, a meal, or the complimentary drink of choice (I usually smoke while enjoying strong, dark ale and occasionally a short glass of premium single-malt scotch.  The wonderful thing about cigars is that, as I said, each one (if it’s a good one) is an experience in and of itself.  Once you find your particular favorite(s), you generally are assured of continuous consistency and quality.  The hand-makers of these beauties take tremendous pride in their work and go to extremes to ensure continuity of quality.

The title of this column comes from a poem – a comparison between women and cigars.  It certainly has overt sexist overtones.  Setting aside presumed bias against women, consider it a commentary on the fickle and fallible ways of humans in general; sometimes we’re all just off, great cigars seldom are.  One of the greatest lines in poetic literature:  “A million surplus Maggies are willing to bear the yoke; And a woman is only a woman, but a good Cigar is a Smoke.” – Rudyard Kipling, The Betrothed, second-to-last stanza.

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(Kipling in the humidor.)

There is something about the cigar life that naturally entrains itself into the consciousness, particularly in men.  “I’m going to spend half of my money on cigars, booze and women.  I’m going to waste the other half.”  That quote is attributed to either W.C. Fields, Groucho Marx, or George Best, or I could have dreamed it up.  Good quote though.  It lends itself to the devotion great cigars imbue in their smokers. 

I suspect a few of you frown on my subject today.  That’s okay, you’re entitled to your dumb opinions.  Some (usually women) find the smell of cigars offensive.  Some argue that, like cigarettes, cigars contribute to health problems.  I do not necessarily agree.  One cigar a day is insufficient to cause any type of harm and the relaxation and enjoyment benefits far outweight any potential problems.  Some historically over-exuberant smokers have experienced problems.  For instance, Sir. Winston Churchill smoked cigars from the time he arose til he went back to bed – for most of his life.  That life was cut short at the disappointing age of 92, it’s likely the cigars may have contributed.

Before I conclude I feel compelled to touch on the peculiar matter of Cuban cigars in America.  Many non-enthusiasts I meet invariably want to know if I have ever had a Cuban.  I have had several, though I never violated any law in partaking!  My personal experience with Habanos has been positive overall.  Cubans are the thing of legend in America due to our government’s idiotic embargo against Cuba.  Most Cubans I have had live up to the hype.  However, to compensate the deprived American market for our loss to government stupidity, non-Cubans manufacturers have dramatically increased their quality.  I would actually prefer one of my Perdomos to most Cubans!  Cubans, by nature, tend to be smaller and milder than I prefer.  However, for what they are, they are terrific!

The embargo began in 1962 as a way of punishing Fidel Castro for his revolution.  Gee, that certainly was worked out for us.  Over 50 years later, he still enjoys his smokes everyday while we are deprived.  I can foresee the day when Cubans are reintroduced into the U.S. market.  There will be tremendous demand when that happens and great disappointment.  This will be due to supply and demand factors.  The Cuban factories already have markets for all they produce (the entire rest of the world).  They will not automatically ramp-up production just for us.  Instead, we will receive the lowest of the lowest of their work.  These are already known as “American Cubans” – they sell them to tourists getting off cruise ships (at inflated prices).  My advice is to hold off until they start shipping us the good stuff.  Then again, we may have to wait another 50 years for anything.

In the menawhile, drop by your local shop and find something that suits your tastes.  You’ll be glad you did.

Thursday Night News

I re-blogged Natural Law today, as the subject has appeared recently in several newer posts.  It was one of my longest but most popular columns.  More new good stuff is on the way.

I’ve been playing phone tag with a panel participant for next week’s Second Amendment Forum at Augusta State University next Tuesday.  Odds are, it’s too late for me to get on but, I will be present regardless with questions AND answers.  Hahaha!

This has been a great week but an odd week.  How are you doing this Thursday evening?  Thank God it’s almost Friday. 

The news:

I would hate to think of G.W.B. as a prophet.  However, the war drums are a beat’n for the other countries in his “axis of evil.”  Dennis Rodman’s little buddy for life, Kim Jong UnStable has declared the 1953 Korean War truce over.  He claims to be waiting for any sign of aggression from his southern neighbors to commence military action.  He also says he can nuke American cities.  I’m more inclined to believe the former over the latter.  This means tens of thousands of Americans are in between a crazy rock and a hard peninsula.  My question is, Why are they still hanging around 60 years after the war ended??

In Iran Dr. A is testing out new missiles and “taunting” the U.S.  Little Barry is in Israel warning once again about Iran’s nuclear program.  This worries me about as much as North Korea’s jibber jabber.

As Dr. Paul pointed out last year, even if we needed to go into more wars (we don’t), we are broke.  The axis of evil was a catchy marketing slogan for the military-industrial complex and the big banks, nothing more.  We lost enough lives and money as is.  It’s time to let the madmen of the world be mad.  Noninterference will make us happy.

At home, the stock market is on a two-week role.  Let’s hope this is a sign of substantial economic improvement which will soon spread from Wall Street to Main Street.  I fear this is last-minute profit grabbing before a calamitous fall.  I hope I’m wrong but all indicators say I may be right.

Dianne Feinstink’s Stalin-style gun ban Bill made it out of the Senate Judiciary Committee by a 10-8 vote.  Popular consensus says the Bill will be dead on arrival in the full Senate.  If it were to pass, would the Second Amendment be DOA? 

Do you know where your retirement funds are?  Uncle Sam does and he wants to steal them.  Talk to your financial advisor now about how (if possible) to protect your money from further government plunder.  If it is, they want it.

More later…

perrinlovett's avatarPERRIN LOVETT

Ninety-Nine percent of lawyers in the United States graduate from law school and practice their profession without much if any consideration of the ultimate underpinnings of the laws, regulations, and processes with which they work.  I mean something deeper and more eternal that a mere constitution or the tradition of Anglo-American law.  This lack of knowledge is not necessarily their fault.  Law schools rarely teach or even mention said underpinnings.  Legislatures, executive officers, and courts now operate without the slightest acknowledgment of that from whence they derive their just authority.  Most citizens seemed confused about the nature and base concepts of law, rights, and justice generally.  This is all forgivable to a fault (especially for the lay audience).  Let me tell you briefly about where “law” comes from.

Long ago, policy makers and attorneys such as Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Paine, and Patrick Henry did understand and acknowledge the source of their governmental efforts…

View original post 2,498 more words

Constitutional Law

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This article is an extension of my recent columns on The Constitution, https://perrinlovett.wordpress.com/2013/03/08/the-united-states-constitution/, and Legal “Education,” https://perrinlovett.wordpress.com/2013/03/12/legal-education/.  One would think that the matter of Constitutional law would have been covered in my article on the Constitution itself – unless one also read my treatise on law schooling.

Oddly, in my experience, the Constitution itself is not required reading for Constitutional law classes. Rather, some imported parts of the document are set forth in the text-book used by the professor. This strikes me as intellectually dishonest and unwise, akin to using a dangerous power tool without first reading the directions. Herein, I briefly cover the usual course material from such as class. The professors, many of whom have never been in a court, let alone argued for or against the Constitution, regurgitate the rulings of different courts regarding a limited number of subjects. While there is an occasional discussion of the reasoning behind the opinions, they are generally viewed as sacred, unswerving law. Rare instances where history has determined the rulings to be invalid (i.e. Dred Scott v. Sandford, 60 U.S. 393 (1857)– slavery is okay pre war between the States) are swept under the proverbial rug, written off as mistakes made due to the prevailing thoughts of the cases’ times.

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(Prof. Laurence Tribe’s ConLaw Book.  Google Images.)

As I have written elsewhere, no reference to Natural Law is made and no critical thought is given to the “why” behind the laws. As Max Tucker wrote recently, any student who dares to pose dissenting views or arguments is detested noticeably by the other students and the faculty. Rarely, student are given the opportunity to delve into the deeper meanings of the cases they study. I was fortunate to be able to write a short essay on the effects of Scott, in which I decried its universal sadness and the role it played in the schism in our nation circa 1861. Part of my essay was read aloud to the class by our professor – another rarity, a former practicing attorney. My points were well accepted. Of course, I had the benefit of over a century of progress on my side. Other topics, which require hypothetical deconstruction, are roundly ignored.

As with all other areas of the law, Constitutional law has degenerated into a study of the constantly shifting case-law which arises under the Constitution.  By the way, I always capitalize the “C” in Constitution out of reverence for the document and its place in our Republic (I do the same for “Republic” too).  I have explained my philosophical troubles and doubts about the Constitution but, due to my sworn allegiance to it, I am honor-bound to defend its ideals.

Case-law study is important and has a valid place in the legal practice.  After all, most attorneys make a living pushing various issues in courts through individual cases.  Each provision of any law is subject to some interpretation as part of its application to the circumstances of the real world.  The trick of “strict construction” application of the Constitution is to adhere as closely as possible to the text and plain meaning of the old parchment.  I follow strict construction as my approach to most laws, in and under the Constitution.  The first fork of any analysis is to determine if the issue scrutinized is compatible with the underlying law.  If the two are compatible, then the analysis shifts to application of your set of facts to the law.  If there is an incongruity, then it is necessary to decide whether the law is improper or if the facts are insufficient for action.

Here’s a brief, over-generalized example, ripped from the recent headlines!:  Mary lives in New York City; she is an avid consumer of Coca-Cola beverages, particularly in large volumes.  Mary went to the corner store in Hell’s Kitchen and ordered a 40-ounce frozen Coke treat.  She was informed by the clerk that a drink of such heft was just outlawed by the wise and magnanimous mayor of NYC, Michael “Soda Jerk” Bloomberg.  Mary, offended and hurt, contacts an attorney in order to take action against the mayor and the city.  Her attorney files a lawsuit seeking an injunction or some other remedy to force the city to curb its policing of soft drink size.  Upon reviewing the case, a judge decides that NYC’s ordinance is too vague to be enforceable and strikes it down accordingly.  Mary happily continues on her guest for obesity.  This represents proper application and analysis of the law and the facts – in this case Mary’s freedom to drink liquid sugar in peace.

Had Mary had a more pressing cause – say a desire to legally and permanently rid herself of a troublesome in-law and she requested her attorney file a similar action to invalidate New York’s statute against murder, her attorney would have likely declined the case.  If he was a fool, and filed an action anyway, the attorney would lose as any court would side with the law irregardless of Mary’s malicious desires.  While it is proper to allow peaceful people to purchase and consume products of their desire, it would be improper and an affront to Natural Law, to allow someone to kill another person without good cause (i.e. self-defence). 

These examples are extremely simple, but they demonstrate my core points.  The problem in the law has arisen from the over deference to certain laws as applied to the real world.  Today, the Constitution is not interpreted as strictly dictated by its own terms or by my previous explanation of the powers it grants.  As I noted before, a few select clauses have been given immortal omnipresence to the extent the entire document has been rendered a nearly lost cause.  All of these clauses give extra, unintended authority to the government to regulate and control everything.  Through various cases over the years, the courts have essentially made up the law or, at least by their interpretation of the laws, have allowed over-reaching actions of the government to stand as legitimate.

Popular of late is the criticism of “activist judges” who take on the role of a legislator in their quests to rewrite the laws of Congress.  Some courts have gone so far as to divine new rights and powers mentioned nowhere in the Constitution.  Roe v. Wade, 410 U.S. 113 (1973) is a poster case for such activism.  In Roe, the Supreme Court opined that abortion of unborn children is a right of pregnant women.  This right stems, allegedly, from the women’s “liberty interest” in their own bodies.  While not found in the text of the Bill of Rights (or elsewhere), this right does exist and should be protected.  However, the right, like all rights, has limits.  The high Court did not adequately consider the rights of the unborn children to be secure in the integrity of their own bodies during its decision.  Instead, the Court issued an incomprehensible psuedo-scienticifc approach to determined when a life becomes a life.  Medical science has definitely answered any related questions in favor of the unborn.  However, as is, about 1 Million children are murdered every year thanks to the Roe decision.  This was a case of improper balancing of competing interests under the umbrella of the law.

I do not roundly condemn “activists.”  Sometimes it is advantageous for a jurist to heavily scrutinize the law if the law actually impinges on protected rights.  The New York soda decision is a good, if oddly worded, example.  Problems happen when judges do not universally review the impact of a law, standing or undone.  It is also impermissible in a Republic for a court to institute new law – the domain of the legislature only. 

I will herein briefly explain a few of those key clauses and ideas of the Constitution which have given the federal government unlimited power over your lives.  These are the basis for Constitutional study in law schools.  In summary it suffices to say that they can and do anything they please, without hinderance.

The General Welfare Clause

This clause purportedly allowed Congress to use its defined powers for the betterment of all people.  It has been held it “has never been regarded as the source of any substantive power conferred on the Government of the United States or on any of its Departments.”  Jacobson v. Massachusetts, 197 U.S. 11 (1905).  However, in conjunction with other provisions, the clause has been used to justify countless spending sprees directed towards the profit of a select few, often at the expense of the People.

The Commerce Clause

Congress has the power “To regulate Commerce with foreign Nations, and among the several States, and with the Indian Tribes.” Courts and commentators have tended to discuss each of these three areas of commerce as a separate power granted to Congress.” Constitution, Art. I, Section 8, Clause 3.  Rather than regulating commerce between the listed entities, this clause has been egregiously abused to empower Congress to regulate anything which can conceivably occur wishing any of the stated territories.  The poster case of the clause is Wickard v. Filburn, 317 U.S. 111 (1942) in which the Supreme Court declared that wheat grown by a farmer may not necessarily be used privately by the farmer because such use (bread baking) might negatively affect interstate commerce, the ability of bread companies to sell the farmer bread.  While defying belief, this case and its ilk are recited as if dictated by Jesus by law professors coast to coast.  The Commerce Clause saw minor setbacks in the 1990s but it remains as the basis for most criminal and civil statutes enacted by Congress.  Arguing against commerce connections in court is as successful as herding alley cats.  I know this from personal experience.

The Necessary and Proper Clause

This clause, known also as the “elastic clause,” appears in Article I, Section 8, Clasue 18.  It provides that Congress can authorize the steps required to implement their other enumerated powers.  The Anti-Federlists argued against this provision, fearing it would allow the central government to assume endless power in the name of affecting those valid programs instituted under the named authorities.  Turns out they were right.  In conjunction with the Commerce Clause, the Necessary and Proper clause has been used to justify federal intrusion into everything.  It was necessary and proper to prohibit farmers from utilizing their own crops to preserve commerce, and so forth.

National Security

“Patriotism” is regarded as the last refuge of a scoundrel.  Frequently, it is the first.  There exists an idea that an allegation that a legal measure is warranted in order to preserve security or defeat some enemy regardless of any other factors.  Frequently, the government will assert this as a defense in a court case in order to avoid any discussion of the underlying subject matter (torture, internment of citizens, etc.).  This tactic usually stops the case dead in its tracks.  In a true emergency such a policy might serve a valid purpose.  However, as we now are told we live under perpetual threat of all sorts of impropriety, the argument is used as a universal repeal of our rights.  History indicates that “emergencies” never go away.  For instance, 68 years after winning World War II, we still station troops in Japan and Germany.  We also have a portion of our incomes withheld prematurely for taxation purposes – this was supposed to be a temporary war-time measure of WWII.  History also shows that a government will do anything to maximize its power under a security “threat,” including the manufacture of threats from nothing.

Taxation

“That the power to tax involves the power to destroy; that the power to destroy may defeat and render useless the power to create….”  Chief Justice John Marshall, McCulloch v. Maryland, 17 U.S. 316 (1819).  Governments have proven themselves able to destroy just about anything, they create next to nothing.  Originally, our government was funded by tariffs and import fees and simple requests to the States for assistance.  The advent of the 16th Amendment gave Washington awesome power to take as much money as the need from the people’s labors.  The illegal Federal Reserve scheme allows them to create additional monies at will.  The courts have constantly upheld the power of taxation even when Congress didn’t know they were implementing a tax.  See: The Obamacare decision, Slip Opinion 11-393, June 28, 2012.  Taxation gets its own law school class – where it is worshipped like a god.  Dissenters are frowned upon as heretics (I know…).

A Few Rights

Over the years, several levels of scrutiny have been assigned to several pet rights.  I am suspicious of each of these levels and will not bore you with their application.  For the most part they apply rights based on classification of persons and against the backdrop of government “interests.”  It is interesting that usually deference is given to a particular law; the law is presumed Constitutional absence some showing that it is an abuse impermissible under one of the abstractly devised levels of scrutiny.  I would prefer deference to the Liberty of the People, with the government left to prove conclusively their law does not infringe that right or that any infringement is necessary in order to secure greater liberties for all.

Most Constitutional law teaching about “rights” center on the First Amendment.  There is usually a class devoted singularly to the subject.  The First is worthy of great attention.  However, too often the cases studied thereunder tend to regard outrageous acts.  Rather than securing rights to fundamental speech for example, such as protesting abortion, educating potential jurors, and protecting free speech during an election, the courts have wasted much time protecting things like naked dancing and wearing offensive sloganed t-shirts. 

Voting rights, due process, and equal protection in general have also received great review.  However, given the steady deterioration of fundamental due process and equal protection, it is obvious there is a systemic bias towards the government over the free people.  For example, Rand Paul’s protests aside, next to nothing has been done in response to the President’s plan to murder Americans in America using drones and no legal process.  The scheme is likely to survive (hopefully unused) due to deference to vague assertions of “national security.”

The rest of the Constitution is left in the dark void of undecided law.  It is either taken for granted that such matters will be resolved in due course by the courts or simply that the provisions have no effect.  In law school I was bluntly told that the Second, Ninth and Tenth Amendments didn’t exist.  I found this hard to believe.  Now, with several positive court cases to lean on, the Second has been given some legitimacy though many “scholars” still remain grounded in the ancient, misdirected past.  On Tuesday, March 19, 2013 I will attend a symposium on the Second Amendment, replete with reference to these lost interpretations.  I have several questions sure to generate discussion and maybe laughter among the gathering.  Join me if you will.

If you teach Constitutional law, incorporate the actual text into your class. It could be a prerequisite, covered at the beginning of the semester and then referred to during the subsequent discussion of cases.  Attorneys need to familiarize themselves with the text of the Constitution, everyone else should too.

Together, each of us acting as we may, we may be able to slowly restore a rational teaching and application of the Constitution.  Perhaps someday we will return to the looser confines of the Articles of Confederation, allowing the member States of the Union (closer to their respective citizens) to affect policies towards the People.  With an eye towards ultimate freedom, I can envision an even less restrictive society.  I am reminded that “anarchy is better than no government at all.”  I’m not sure society is ready for that level of responsibility yet.  Someday…

Some Quick Notes

I’m going to publish another heavy hitting piece this evening on the state of Constitutional law in legal education.  Don’t miss it.

The news:

The Good!  Habemus Papum – We have a Pope!  Argentine Jorge Bergoglio was elected Pope Francis a short time ago.  I hope he continues the good and dogged work of his recent predecessors and guides the Church well in these troubled times.

The Bad!  As if the IRS and the FBI don’t give us enough cause for concern, the Obamanation administration has green-lighted all U.S. spy agencies to snoop through our bank and financial records.  They’ll be looking for “suspicious activity” in their quest to fight terrorists, gangsters, tax evaders, dissenters, veterans, farmers, and anyone else they want to target.  20 years ago this would have raised serious concerns about agencies like the CIA and the NSA conducting DOMESTIC operations.  But now, who needs that antiquated law stuff!  Calling this Orwellian is an insult to Orwell’s writings.

Stay tuned!

Tuesday Night News

I made a few happy upgrades to the site today.  Scroll down the left-hand side to take advantage of the new features.  You can easily “follow” the blog two ways now: 1) there’s a button in the lower right-hand corner; 2) I placed a “follow by email” box on the left-hand side just under my picture and info.  Sign up and never miss a thing. 

In the coming days or weeks I will likely make a BIG upgrade to the “professional” level.  All in the name of better serving you.

Today I posted Legal “Education,” https://perrinlovett.wordpress.com/2013/03/12/legal-education/, which has already turned out to be a hit.  I do knock the system but, at the end, I express my desires for changes (heck, I want to enter the academic field now).  Read if you haven’t. 

The way the site counts views seems to have changed or else they re-calculated.  Some of my past daily numbers have changed and I don’t know why.  The up-side is, I think, the total views went up.  That’s a good thing!  And now…

The News:

In the City of Brotherly Stupidity (San Fransisco) a group has launched an advertising campaign to promote Jihad: “Killing Jews is worship that brings you closer to Allah,” the ad reads.  Not making this up: http://sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com/2013/03/11/killing-jews-is-worship-ad-campaign-rolled-out-on-sf-buses/.  I read the Koran once and found references to Judaism as a sister religion whose followers are entitled to respect.  This was a theme of the successful caliphates of old.  Funny, the ad doesn’t say WHERE one would be closer to Allah.  In typical SF fashion District Attorney George Gascon has expressed concern over the new ads: “San Francisco won’t tolerate Islamophobic bigotry…”  Maybe he hadn’t actually read the ad yet.

The Empire wants to copy Kalifornia’s gun confiscation program!  See: http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2013-03-12/california-seizes-guns-as-owners-lose-right-to-bear-arms.html?cmpid=yhoo.  You can look forward to a visit from the WACO squad if your doctor thinks you might be depressed or your significant other lies to a judge about your behavior.  I recommend people bury at least one firearm to circumvent this goose-stepery.

It seems that a few people might be qualified for healthcare under Obama’s socialist boondoggle.  However, the process is being compared to filing an income tax return.  See: http://news.yahoo.com/ap-exclusive-applying-health-care-not-easy-171510320.html.  I wonder if the insurance giants of Amerika have to fill out forms in order to justify their new profit margins???

NASA’s little Mars robot says the planet once supported life – but no more.  Obama was later heard blaming W for the extinction.  The RepubliCONS have since blamed Rand Paul.

The bad: Haven’t we suffered enough Bushes???

No ugly..

The good: The 2013 Masters is only a month away!

Legal “Education”

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This post follows Muddling Through College.  It is intended as a truthful assessment of what life in law school is like and the relationship between legal education and the practice of law and society in general.  As with my undergraduate article, I realize that my experience is dated by a good decade.  Actually, it’s been a pretty bad decade – especially for the legal industry.  Therefore, again, I have tried to incorporate “modern” materials herein as well.

I once heard attorney-turned radio talk show host, Neal Boortz state that when he began practice law in the early 1970s, the law was still a profession.  He then said when he left the law in the early 1990s to pursue radio full-time, the law had degenerated into a trade.  Several times I recall him saying the happiest day of his life was the day he put his status with the Georgia State Bar in the inactive category.  I will update his cycle now – the law has further degenerated into a racket.

The average attorney is greeted by society with all the warmth and affection people normally reserve for a visiting termite.  I hear lawyer jokes every week.  Most are pretty damn funny.  I am one of the few attorneys not offended by these jokes.  Most attorneys do get offended even if they don’t show it.  The reason is that most know the jokes have a great basis in truth and they don’t want to admit the facts.

Mr. Boortz once said, speaking of attorneys, “No other group has done more to help and to damage our society.”  He’s right.  Lawyers were behind the Revolution, the Declaration of Independence, The Constitution, the civil rights movement, and numerous other causes for freedom.  You never hear lawyer jokes in a criminal court.  In a jail holding area or cell block, we are greeted like rock stars.  However, pick any oppressive, illegal, dishonest, or otherwise unsavory law, business, or relationship and you’ll find lawyer DNA all over it.  As a judge I once clerked for said, “It’s amazing how bad most attorneys are.”

The bad begins in law school.  There are about 200 law schools in America which have received the ABA’s seal of approval.  There are more which operate by special rules within their respective states.  U.S. News and World Report ranks and categorizes law schools every year based on a set of semi-relevant criteria.  Schools fight hard to place high on the list.  I don’t see the point.  Judging by the performance of their graduates, all the schools seem equally bad.

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(This cat never practiced law and won’t teach you anything.  Google Images.)

Max “I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell” Tucker wrote an awesome article, http://lewrockwell.com/orig14/max-t1.1.1.html, on reasons NOT to attend law school.  Read it!  I agree with every single thing he said.  By the way, I fell under the Want To Change the World category.  I learned its damn near impossible to change a neighborhood, let alone the world.  And, most people don’t want any change – they enjoy their serfdom.

After four (or 6, 8, etc.) years in college one must score decently on the LSAT and submit a rigorous application in order to gain entry into even the lowest ranking law school.  Once there, one is suddenly trust into an environment that eerily resembles high school.  That’s the law school effect, everyone reverts to teenager-ish behavior and attitudes.  Nothing is actually taught in law school except how to look up information and fill out forms.  You can learn a thing or two in a specialized elective class but nothing therein will appear on the dreaded bar exam of any state.  Given the sad state of the profession, dependant on the exam’s function as a brutal hazing to enter the fraternity, you would think law professors would concentrate on the subjects covered by the bar and the methodology employed for the tests (Byzantine).  They do not.  In fact, after graduating you MUST take a private prep course in order to have any chance of passing the test.  I theorize that any well-educated person could take such a class and pass the bar.  I was not supposed to tell you that.

The majority of instructional time is instead devoted to instilling reverence for the system.  Courts, judges, and their opinions (case-law) are sold as the Gospel.  Rebels like me are interested in core concepts behind the law and the betterment of humanity.  The average student simply accepts the drivel and becomes a system cog.  As I have stated elsewhere, the average lawyer does not know and does not care why we have law or where the law comes from.  Natural Law may as well be officially forbidden by the ABA.

Once one passes the bar and gets that first legal job another enormous short-coming becomes alarmingly clear.  Law schools do not prepare anyone to practice law.  A friend of mine, a Federal Magistrate Judge once asked me, “Remember when you got out, and knew nothing?”  New attorneys are thrown to the wolves.  Half can’t hack it; I think 50% is the current percentage who leave the law sooner than later.  The other 50% live in a nightmarish state, dreaming of getting out. 

In the old days, and in a few foreign countries (Scotland comes to mind), students of the law would apprentice with an existing attorney or law firm for a number of years in order to prepare for actually practicing law.  They would simultaneously “read the law” on their own to gain a full understanding of core concepts.  After satisfying their mentors, the apprentices would be admitted as attorneys, with or without examination.  That’s how Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, Abradamn Lincoln and Cicero did it.  Today, only California, Maine, Vermont, Virginia, and Washington still allow “reading” and I imagine it is discouraged.  This process denies law schools reason to exist and deprives budding young lawyers of their $100,000+ school loan debts.  Students might also emerge ready to practice if allowed to study under a competent attorney.  I’m not supposed to tell you any of this.

I have applied for several positions, academic and administrative, at a variety of law schools of late.  I am hoping my experience will give me an advantage.  One would think it was.  I make a particular point to explain that I want to help as many young people as possible actually prepare for the racket….er…profession.  Oddly, many law professors have never practiced law a day in their lives, many aren’t even members of a bar.  It makes sense, in a way, as law school has absolutely nothing to do with practicing.  That evil bar exam (truly a horror worthy to justify the myths) has nothing to do with school or practice either.  Like the schooling, it’s just there – an unavoidable obstacle to tackle.

Law students become attorneys disillusioned, in debt, unprepared, and in today’s market, with slim job prospects.  Most new attorneys today, who can find a job, earn less than $60,000 per year.  The big bucks go to the elite few who land jobs with major law firms.  At those firms, newbies (with all the problems I mentioned) can start at $150,000 or better.  For that pay, they have to “bill” 2500 hours a year.  Billing 2500 means working 4000; that means working 80-100 hour weeks, every week, for about $30-$40 per hour.  Tucker gives examples of jobs that pay that well, don’t require all the time and hassle, and don’t necessitate wasting 3 years in law school.  Remember, those are the best of the best jobs.  Most big firm associates wash out quickly or else end up in mental institutions or under bridges.

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(Welcome aboard, young associate.  Google Images.)

Ponder what I have written here if you think you want to join the lawyer club.  Some people are meant to be attorneys and will do well at their chosen work.  Most will drudge on miserably until the retire, die, or go nuts.  Some, like me get out.  Well, I’m trying to get out.  Leaving the law can be like leaving a street gang.  You have to walk a gauntlet to exit.  Please pray I make it.  As for you, avoid the whole racket if you can.

PS: I issue a challenge to all attorneys and law school faculties!  Change the system!  Concentrate on the theory and the practice of the law itself and dispense with the case worship, the obsolete mysteries, and the false illusions of nobility.  For you, read Alan Watson’s The Shame of American Legal Education, 2d ed. (Vandeplas Publishing, 2006).  Watson, of Scottish legal training, nails the problems of the American system.  Let’s change it.

Bigger and Better!

I’ve added a few features to the site to assist you with contacting me and checking on my most popular posts.  Scroll down the left-hand side to check it all out!  The first thing you’ll notice is a new picture of the new (thin) me – no cigar and a suit!

I’d like to welcome my second Ad – Augusta Iron and Steel Works, Inc. of Augusta, GA.  They build the best bridges in the Southeast! Call them for your next overpass or railroad project!  Perrin approved!

I was out and about this morning and someone recognized me at random from the site.  And! Rather than attack me with a hammer, he complimented the Second Amendment column!  Getting better every day, folks.  All for you.

Some more great posts are in the works.  Stay tuned!

Monday Night News

I think I shall scrap the plan to ask Gov. Deal for a Generalship.  He likely doesn’t even know he has a militia at his disposal.  I also doubt I could raise a platoon, let alone a larger unit.  Maybe with Kim Jong UnBalanced about to start WWIII, the Marines will be called away from Georgia. 

I hope you liked my sentimental babbling about college in Muddling Through College, https://perrinlovett.wordpress.com/2013/03/11/muddling-through-college/.  Have a read if you didn’t see it – especially if you plan to go or go back to college anytime soon.  I’ll have my take on legal education soon.  And, maybe I’ll revisit the Second Amendment before the ASU (GRU) function next week.

The news:

The Colorado movie theater shooter may enter an insanity plea soon.  The judge has cleared the way for a psychoanalysis inclusive of “truth serum.”  For a little morbid fun, Google “shooting libor scandal” and check the results.  There’s an odd connection between the CO theater shooting and the one in Connecticut a few months later.  Both Holmes and Lanza were also under the prescribed influence of psychotropic narcotics at the times of their alleged crimes.  For more fun, Google “james holmes MK Ultra.”  I see a giant conspiracy.  I love conspiracy theories because 9 out of 10 times they’re dead on, even if it takes a century for the truth to come out.  I trust absolutely nothing the government and the lamestream media say.  Do you?  A Pew Research poll says only 30% do.  By the way, check Wiki for “MK Ultra” if you’re not familiar.  Love that CIA!

There was an earthquake in California.  There was also a wave on the ocean.

New Yakkahs are free once again to consume giant sugary beverages!  Woot!

The WSJ has joined the Bash Rand Paul movement.  Sad.  The Urinal used to be a good publication before the neocons took over.

Shaq claims he is a big geek.  I have a friend who was once in Florida on business.  He was having a meeting at a sidewalk cafe with an entertainment industry big-wig.  My buddy was smoking a cigar – probably a Perdomo.  Shaq rolls up in a custom SUV, gets out, and comes over.  He knew the big-wig.  Upon seeing the cigar, Shaq grabbed it from my friend’s mouth, took a long drag, and said, “That’s a good cigar!”  I’m not a basketball guy but I like the Big Geekrock.

Muddling Through College

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Given the popularity of my postings on the law, generally and regarding specific topics, and given the inclination of so many people to ask me about becoming a lawyer and what it’s like, I thought I would write something about legal education in America.  It won’t be pretty but it will paint a good overall picture of the modern training lawyers undergo.  First, however, I thought I would write something about the undergraduate experience which precedes law school.  That’s what this article concerns.  It is mainly drawn from my experiences at the University of Georgia in the early – mid 1990’s.

As my personal collegiate experience is somewhat dated (ugh….), I have tried to incorporate a little news concerning more modern college education as well.  So, this piece is really about my personal muddling with an updated, universal background.  I hope it serves as a guide of sorts for those entering college or already there and struggling to decide what to make of the situation.  For those you who have already completed your formal education, I hope this resonates with you.  It’s up to us to enlighten the younger generations so that they may achieve their full potential.

College today is much the same as it was back then.  Modern students have a wealth of on-line information to assist them in picking the right school and program for them.  I wished we had had that.  I recently stumbled across a fantastic website that goes beyond the normal rankings and summary guides.  Check out this site: http://www.whatwilltheylearn.com/.  It’s an initiative from numerous alumni to assess what, if anything, colleges teach these days.  The results are eye-opening.  Of the 1000 or so schools surveyed only 21 got an “A” based on required core curriculum.  I’m proud to say my alma mater was among them.  Several famous and pricy schools did not fare so well.  Watch their video too.

cap

(Google Images.)

Back to yours truly.  I started college in 1993 immediately after graduating from high school.  I applied to and was accepted to three colleges (I think it was three, I’m lazy).  I got accepted to Mississippi State University (in my original home town) and the University of Georgia, where many of my relatives attended.  I think the other school was UVA; I attended classes for a week as a high schooler and was most impressed. 

MSU offered me a scholarship, I think it was a full ride.  My dad had been a professor there and apparently they needed someone from Georgia.  I probably should have accepted but, given my poor choices in college, I would have likely lost the scholarship anyway.  In the end, I went to UGA.  The Georgia HOPE scholarship was recently enacted at the time.  My high school grades were excellent and so I would have qualified.  Unfortunately, my parents made something like 50 cents over the family income maximum.  The next year they raised the maximum but by then my grades were so dismal it didn’t matter.  I must say I had a great time in Athens.  The city is overrun with bars and hot girls and there is always something to do.  Oddly, none of that matters looking back.

I have since analyzed why I did as poorly as I did in the early half of my college career.  I used to blame the school and several professors in whose classes I did poorly.  I have come to the conclusion though that any failings (pun intended) were my fault only.  I had considered that perhaps I was not ready for college.  Then again, I’m not sure what I would have done instead at that time.  I wanted to continue my formal education, I just went about it all wrong.  I was not true to myself.

I have devoted a whole chapter in The Time Given (not long now….) to being true to yourself.  My understanding of the concept comes from my own self-betrayals.  In high school and for the first few years I was at UGA I was under the delusion of the great “American dream.”  George Carlin once said, “it’s a dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.”  I know what he meant.  The dream went something like this:  You go to college to get a valuable degree.  The degree gets you a ticket to work for a big corporation for 30 or 40 years.  By working hard for your employer you get rich and enjoy a comfy retirement.  You can vacation in Destin, Florida and such.

I tried to take the dream to its extreme conclusion.  I just knew I had to major in business in order to get that golden job ticket.  I started out as a general business major and then switched to a speciality in real estate.  UGA’s real estate program is excellent and I did learn some things in my concentration classes which came in handy at Trammel Crow and in my brief real estate sales career.  I also found some of my advanced economics classes fascinating – but only from an academic standpoint.  The rest of the core business classes bored the ever-loving hell out of me.  My grades reflected this.  I recall mornings when I remembered I had to drop classes I had not attended all semester – on the last day possible.  Still figures into some of my nightmares.  I recall passing finance my reading the booklet for my fancy calculator the night before the final exam.  I wasted a semester in a business MIS class that covered things like floppy disks and the new-fangled internet, whatever that was.  That all says something – I’m not sure what…

The “hard” problem I found with an undergraduate business degree was that you studied based on scenarios only a CEO would encounter.  Then you get into the job market and discover only entry-level jobs are available.  It’s kind of depressing.  I really lucked out with Trammell Crow and it took me months of interviewing for scores of other positions to find.  Another problem is that once you’re on the job, they retrain you completely.  I’d say only 10% of what I managed to learn ended up being useful on the job.

If you want to enter business, I think it’s best to get an MBA. It also helps to study something you have connections to (the family business, etc.). Otherwise, you’re wasting your time.  I wasted a lot of the stuff.

The “soft” problem I had was that I didn’t really want to be a business major.  I look like a businessman but I have the heart of a history professor or a latter-day dragon slayer, neither of which benefit from a class in marketing.  This was made clear to me during my senior year.  For whatever reason I finished most of the required classes and had an abundance of electives to take.  Out of curiosity I wound up in a number of classics (ancient Greece and Rome) and philosophy classes. 

Suddenly, I was immersed in subjects that spoke to me about eternal issues I could relate to everyday American life.  I also got “A” after “A” and it wasn’t hard to do.  I liked the programs.  I identified with the programs.  I dig ancient wisdom and logical discourse more than ROI statements and accounting baselines.

It occurred to me a little late in the game to change majors and stick it out.  I probably should have done that.  At the time though, the same stubbornness that got me into my plight held me there.  I made excuses like “I’m almost done.  I need to settle, get out, and get that dream job.”  Ha!  The job I got was great.  I foresaw myself rising in the ranks and becoming a developer, another Donald Trump.  I was good at it.  I thought I could even open my own business and build skyscrapers.  Then, they called me one day and thanked me profusely for my hard work.  I smelled a raise.  Then they said the division was closing and I was no longer needed.  More depression followed.  This is the real American dream – you lie to yourself, waste time and money, and end up getting laid off after giving 150%.  Well, it was the dream.  I think most people have to settle for permanent unemployment or food stamps these days.

After a year of flopping around I headed to law school.  It was my attempt to right my ship.  It almost worked.  I know now that while I love the concept and theory of law, present and historical, these are not good reasons to go to law school.  I’ll have more on this in my coming column on the legal education racket.

I should have gotten a Ph.D. in political theory or history.  Then I would have been primed for a happier career in higher education, pondering the big ideas and helping young people seek questions and answers.  I’m currently trying to re-route myself that way.  This blog is a grand outlet for my academic pursuits.  I’m delighted by the support I have received so far.  I plan to press forward regardless of what kind, if any, formal institution I end up in.  I don’t mean an “institution” where I weave baskets…

Counting the four years I was locked up in high school, it’s been about 24 years getting around to being honest about my ambitions.  I have been extremely lucky in the alternative.  I’ve had the opportunity most people don’t get in the business and legal fields to interact with academics, statesmen, titans and ticks of all stripes.  I have also been able to strike a few blows for freedom over the years.  Everything happens for a reason and I have accepted my long way home.

I hope you, dear readers, find and accept yours too.  Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you.  I genuinely like helping people.  It’s really why I’m here.