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A California casino rolls out the ED209s to make guests feel a little more secure.

A growing number of hotels have begun employing robots to deliver towels, toothpaste and other items to guests — an addition viewed primarily as a novelty to appeal to tech-loving travelers.

But less than a year after the mass shooting near a Las Vegas hotel, a Southern California casino resort has added camera-wielding robots to enhance security.

Considering what Stephen Paddock Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi was able to do alone, imagine what these mechanical monsters could accomplish in concert.

The bad news: this exact model has previously maimed a small child.

The good news: “feeling” guilt over its crime the maiming unit “committed suicide.”

Also, these things must have a higher center of gravity. It seems that a hard kick is enough to tip them over and leave them helpless as a toppled turtle. I imagine the guts and the battery are center mass. Aim there and fire until the thing stops moving entirely or starts smoking.

Time may be running out…


“Beep, beep. Kill humans.” The low roller. Pechanga.