Preppers, Pods, and Coffee

 

Let’s try this! Last week’s (in my opinion) sad short column was a hit. I sometimes get a contact or two in the wake of decent pontification, but it’s rare to receive a call from a well-connected Washingtonian type concerning the novelty and prescience of my hypothetical ponderings. And, no, I didn’t expect either the Senate Armed Services Committee or the Pentagram to think about reality. Alternatively, and before moving on, if all else fails, I will take possession of the nukes. 

Moving on! Here are a few self-serving announcements which I’m confident you’ll find helpful.

Prepper Post News

I have a pod and videocast. Well, it turns out that I already had one though I did not know it. They were taking my daily news briefs and having a robot read them. Patron protests brought me in as the host. Soon, I hope to have a real studio for this endeavor. Find that, a daily commentary on some of the more interesting items in the news, from a charming if subdued ultra-right nationalistic perspective, Monday through Friday at:

Podcast on Anchor

Video on YouTube

I think it appears elsewhere, but that is beyond my pay grade. This platform will also allow exploration of weightier topics in a format most friendly in this post-literate age.

A sample:

We’re trying to build the following while appeasing the SJW demons, which is as hard as it sounds. As-is, we’ve grown a small but vocal list of fans who greatly contribute via the comments section under the videos. If you join, please consult my instructions on the 11/12 and 11/13 posts. (If you bring us spam, things may not go so well).

Yes, some of you may be aware that we have already run into a healthy dose of old-fashioned censorship. YouTube blocked one video, I think because of the title (which I do not assign) – although it’s impossible to discern since they don’t tell you. And, also not of my doing because I’m not there, we (Freedom Prepper) have hit a snag at Mark Zuckerbook’s low-IQ spy and misinformation publishing site, Farceberg. 

To counteract and circumvent these problems, we will soon launch,

Freedom Prepper Community!

This will be a forum for all things prepping and general news. However, it is my understanding that it may quickly morph into a more universal information and social media platform. I have a tentative link, but it’s so tentative that I’ll just hold that. You can sign up for updates HERE. There’s much more to come on that front and it is approaching rapidly. 

We’re already plastered across all the mainstream socials – even TikTok! I didn’t know about that until recently – you can imagine my reaction. But, again, it is a way to reach an audience. Do not look for me anywhere other than the videos and the coming forums. Blah, blah, blah, it’s the beginning of a media empire. Watch out FAUX News!

Now, here is the part I’m most excited about!

Freedom Roasters Coffee!!!

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION

It may not be fully operational yet, but HERE’S THE COFFEE SITE!

The process starts with the beautiful beans, carefully selected by yours truly, and the prepper elves deep in the jungles of an undisclosed country which might be Columbia.

A little green they are. So, they get roasted to perfection.

High-tech shit with smoke suppression! And, here’s how they come out:

That’s about as perfect as beans get! No, as of my writing time I have not tasted them. But, a sample batch is allegedly in the mail. I’ll have more soon, just as I have assurances that they are terrific. You’ll want to order by the case, no doubt.

The beans, whole or ground, will arrive in a container, of course. Those are in prototype development at the moment, though they should look something like this:

By the way, custom coffee mugs are being crafted even as we speak. Order a dozen! 

Now, on the bags, there’s going to be a little space for a prepper-ish saying. Think of it as a series similar to the “Blue Star” factoids on the labels of Newcastle beer bottles. I’ve already drafted about two dozen of those; you’ll see them soon enough.

Enough! Enough of this stand-in, stalling, rambling excuse for a column, right? Hey, I understand you people had another fun election. I’ll bet you’re so happy about and not at all confused by the outcome. I’ll have more to say – though maybe not much beyond what I’ve already long-since said – after the … what do you call it? – after the legal certification thing. Then, we’ll be moving on to a bright, happy 2021! Well, you’ll move where they tell you; I’ll be in a production studio surrounded by coffee bags. 

Next week, a look at the sewing machine crisis ongoing in Pakistan. Until then…