Yesterday, for some inexplicable reason, I watched about 10 minutes of The Five on Fox News. The legs and plunging necklines I can handle. The babbling, not so much.

The two hotties and the three amigos were chatting about Bill O’s interview with President Trump. Bill called Putin a murderer and asked Trump how he could possibly like the man. Trump’s answer was straight forward: “And, we’re so innocent?” It seemed perfectly reasonable to me as it implied an uncomfortable truth or two. The gang however, token dissenter Juan Williams included, were not amused.

They took turns ranting about how the U.S. was the purest, cleanest, best-smelling nation in history. They rebuked the President: “We don’t elect murderers!” “None of our officials ever worked for the KGB!” Pure outrage. Then they switched to G.H.W. Bush’s coin flip at the Super Bowl. One would have thought it had been Jesus returned for the ceremony. The men unashamedly said they cried or something. The legs crossed. I turned it off.

A complete aside: it was the Super Bowl where the Patriots beat the Falcons after falling behind 28-3. That one…

That we know of, we have no KGB in our government, true. But one ex-president was also the ex head of the CIA, our KGB stand-in. Said ex-president was elected on a promise not to raise taxes. He did. Then he took us to war in the sand for nothing. Then he helped tank the economy. Then he said something about the new world order, threw up on the Prime Minister of Japan, and rode off into the Texas sunset. There he stayed until the NFL asked him to flip a coin Sunday night.

But we’re so innocent.

Fox. Heh, heh, heh.

Those legs were made for irony.