Donald Trump and the Pardon Potential

 

Donald Trump is once again the president of the armed international banking agent known as the United States of Amerika. Here’s wishing him, the Amerikan people, and the whole world well!

Just before his illegitimate term ended, Trump’s unlawful predecessor, Brandon, was thawed from his cryosleep chamber and allowed or forced to issue a number of pardons. Among those criminals Brandon spared from future criminal prosecution were Phony Baloney Tony Fauci, General (Pain in the Rear End) Mark Milley, and the Kongress Kritters who oversaw the “J6” witch hunt. Because democracy! 

Brandon being kind of, sorta like a real president, I suppose this action counts as lawful. If not, then let’s just take a swig of the good stuff and pretend, okay? But the episode made me think about something I’ve considered before.

Before I get to that notion, a side note about something much more important, a question: Does Athena like roses? In fact, she does. And you’re about to find out why. Trust me!* 

Okay… According to Article II, Section 2 of the late US Constitution, presidents have a nearly unlimited ability to pardon federal criminal offenses. The only limit is that they may not issue pardons in cases of impeachment. 

That Constitution, which is dead and now reposes, free for public viewing, in an armored sarcophagus at the National Archives in Washington, is a funny bird. According to its Tenth Amendment, “[t]he powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.” That means if some power or authority is not expressly found in the Constitution, then the national government is prohibited from exercising it. That’s the law. And it has never, ever been violated. Bwahahahaha!!!! *cough, cough* I’m sorry, pardon me. For the international set, that last bit was a (bad) joke; the whole thing has been violated up and down worse than Ashley was in the shower. 

But if we take the words of the law of the land at their face value, which is to be at odds with all the history of US jurisprudence, then, excepting impeachment, there are only three possible federal crimes to either prosecute or pardon: treason (Art. III, Sec. 3); piracy (Art. I, Sec. 8), and; counterfeiting (Art. I, Sec. 8). And that’s all. 

Ignoring the fact that the US itself commits most cases of treason, piracy, and counterfeiting, it is allowed to prosecute instances when those crimes are committed. What cannot be ignored is that the US also prosecutes thousands of other offenses that it has no lawful authority to regulate or prosecute (if, again, we believe in the magic words of the dead, decayed, and ignored Constitution). 

For instance, all of the January 6, 2021, Capitol “rioters” were railroaded through the system for the crime of what? Walking in a public building? Their prosecutions and convictions for crimes not expressly in the Constitution were illegal. Trump, who says a lot of things, has murmured off and on about pardoning them. And who knows? He might do it before this column runs. That would be mighty big of him if, for no other reason, he was the man who told them to do what they did. There’s also the fact that all of the cases were miscarriages of justice. Then again, about 99% of federal criminal cases are too. [Post Draft Note: Indeed, he pardoned 1,500 of them. Good on Trump!]

Here’s my recommended solution for this problem of law and disorder: Trump could and should issue a blanket pardon for all Americans for any and all federal crimes they have ever committed or that they might have committed. The blanket could cover any foreigners caught in the system too. I suppose an exception could be made for elected, appointed, or commissioned federal officials who had committed treason, piracy, or counterfeiting. Of course, even if they too were pardoned, there would be nothing to stop the president from later designating them enemy combatants and having them dealt with militarily. (Thank you for that option, Lincoln, Clinton, Bush, et al.) 

Think about it. Even if someone was convicted or, more likely, pleaded guilty to one of the three valid crimes, why should the government be given any benefit of the doubt when the hyper-majority of its prosecutions are invalid? A completely clean slate would do several things. It would free so many people from oppression. It would empty Amerika’s prisons, the most crowded in the world. It would halt all current prosecutions and investigations. And it would thereby send a powerful warning that at least some memory of the old Constitution will still be honored. Going forward, if any new illegal cases are brought, then Trump could keep smothering them with pardons. 

For anyone who ever mentions the Constitution, the Republic, democracy, equality, justice, due process, or any other pleasant sounding if nearly fictional, or pointless as applied buzzword, then my proposal would fulfill the definition of that buzzword. Like it or not, it would be perfectly legal and the right thing to do. As such, I look for my suggestion to be implemented exactly … never. Still,

Deo vindice! (And He will get it right in His time.)

*There’s a new novel coming. 

**This one first ran at Geopolitika, where Leonid wastes no time. I therefore moved it from Friday to today, Wednesday. P