From the Sports and Entertainment Desk:
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Yeah. So, About Saturday…
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Like David Carradine, the Dawgs love a good choke. It just usually comes along a little later and to a better team. Due to certain circumstances, the annual meeting of the Georgia Faithful Next Year Club has been moved up to the Thursday after next – I believe – check on that. Anyway, I have been asked to deliver the keynote speech. Herein, please review my list of talking points – humble suggestions which, if implemented, might actually make one of these years “next year.” To keep this moving along, I only elaborate on number four.
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Note: All five of the following points are related. I list them in order, from “difficult” to “damned-near impossible.” The final two are almost outside the scope of reality. Still, just making two or three easier changes would do wonders. Also, note that these suggestions are aimed at winning – National Championship wins. Due to the nature of the problem addressed in number five, I expect that many of you will have trouble understanding. Listen carefully, without interrupting, to whoever is reading this to you.
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One. IQs Up, Weights Down (Difficult). More Wonderlic, less knee brace. Speed and smarts will help your new,
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Two. Field General QB (slightly more difficult). To complete medium-range shots, while READING THE FIELD, even under pressure. He’s out there. Ask the,
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Three. Win-At-All-Costs Crazy Coach (plain hard). He might be lurking in D1, D2, or the NFL – the contrarian OC who is audible on TV screaming about “going for it, already!” Working with,
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Four. Your own “Ernie Adams” (possibly impossible).
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Now, we get improbable. There may, in all the world, only be the one Ernie Adams. If not, then try to find his doppelganger. (You ain’t getting the original for any money). Ernie spends all his time plotting and plugging statistics into an algebraic formula… Huh? Who is Ernie Adams? Adams is officially the New England Patriots’ Director of Football Research. Yeah… Nobody else has one. But, he’s the behind the scenes logistical and strategic genius responsible for the Pats’ unparalleled two-decade dynasty. He’s the brains of the Kraft-Adams-Belichick-Brady axis. The one-man football Manhattan Project.
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He’s five to ten years ahead of the curve, with the entire sport literally running through his algorithms. He studies all players, games, and stats in the NFL, most colleges, and many high schools (and, many even lower). His is the master plan wherein everything is reduced to mathematical simplicity.
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How do you find one of your own? No idea, really. Do NOT look at other teams. Think about calculus professors, physicists, and /non-special/ financiers of the ELITE Wall Street variety (like Ernie). This one is tough. Almost as tough as…
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PERRIN LOVETT 