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Better ban vans quick, as they found out in Baltimore today.

‘No bomb’ found in van with 1,000 gallons of gas in downtown Baltimore parking garage, precautionary sweeps continue…

Baltimore emergency officials evacuated a large area of downtown on Monday after an abandoned van loaded with 1,000 gallons of gasoline was discovered in the parking garage of one of the city’s most venerable companies, officials said.

Shortly after 11 a.m. police received a call about a suspicious vehicle in the parking garage of 100 E. Pratt St., home to T. Rowe Price, one of the city’s largest private employers. Officials quickly began an evacuation from several high rise buildings that sparked Sept. 11 anxiety and turned the heart of the city’s business and tourist district into a crime scene tied off with yellow tape.

Thank God it wasn’t a bomb! Or a white nationalist with a fully-automatic military assault cannon. Now, now… Russia! could still be behind this.

I have been saying this for a while now: #VanControl! Think of the children.

It is a little embarrassing, but I forgot to include gasoline in my big list of things they need to ban for safety. Addendum: ban petrol! I think we can all agree that nobody outside of the police or the military needs vans or unleaded gas. Hunters and sportsmen can make do with gold carts and steam power, just like the Founders envisioned. No-one wants to take away your 3rd Amendment protections! We just need a little common sense gun control van control, etc. All garages are equal! How can one possibly justify such high-capacity gas cans? Waiting periods at the pump! Bump pump? Background checks. I saw a red flag and I’m saying something. Blah, blah, blah.

Anyone heard from ISIS lately? Rep. Ilan (D-Somalia) aside, I don’t think they’ve been active since the LVNV shooting and/or cover-up. I was starting to think they had read and adopted Napoleon’s “not interfering with” ideology regarding the late-stage US Empire.

Or, could this be a sad attempt to divert attention from the Patriots’ great start on their record seventh SB run?

Hell, it’s Baltimore – we’ll probably never know. I’m just glad no hedge funds were harmed in this LARP.

UPDATE: It was just diesel fuel and alleged theft, of diesel fuel. #DieselControl!