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The Wolf Who Cried Assault Rifle

A fable to make Aesop cringe:

A wolf was elected to Congress and therefore took advantage when and where he could. There was something about a Page, but the people did nothing. There was some legislative projection, but the people did nothing. Sexually explicit texting with more Pages followed. The people, the FBI included, still did nothing. Frustrated, the wolf yelled, “what the hell I gotta do to get caught up in here?!” He then resigned and came out as a homosexual.

Many years later, after a successful stint as a lobster salesman to the LGBTQIAXWTFBBQ+V, P&C community, the wolf decided to come after your guns. Ever treasonous, the GOP was happy to help him. The end.

Mark Foley was not just on your phone screen seven seconds ago so you probably don’t know who he is. Okay, if you’re an underage male Congressional Page, then he might be on your phone. Otherwise, read Anthony Man’s pretty good article from Saturday’s Sun-Sentinel for details.

In fairness, I met Foley at a Florida political function back around 2001-02. It was, I think, a luncheon hosted by the GOP or the Federalist Society, maybe both. The late Rep. Clay Shaw was there too. Other than the usual politi-creepiness – which would eventually drive me out of the Fed-Soc and all political gatherings – I detected nothing out of the ordinary about Foley (or Clay). If memory serves, they both bordered on being kind of nice, normal. I would not have then suspected Foley was a gun grabber. According to the Sentinel piece, he is.