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From America’s and the World’s preeminent tech school comes a project bound to safely provide a happy, secure ending for all. Or, at least, an ending for some…

In one of the big musical numbers from The Life Of Brian, Eric Idle reminds us to “always look on the bright side of life.” Norman, a new artificial intelligence project from MIT, doesn’t know how to do that.

That’s because Norman is a psychopath, just like the Hitchcock character that inspired the research team to create him.

Like so many of these projects do, the MIT researchers started out by training Norman on freely available data found on the Web. Instead of looking at the usual family-friendly Google Images fare, however, they pointed Norman toward darker imagery. Specifically, the MIT crew stuck Norman in a creepy subreddit to do his initial training.

This is just what we need. I was telling the boys at the cigar club just the other day how badly the world needs a dark-minded, no-hearted, psychopathic killer robot running amok in Boston. Forget the duck boats and the Union Oyster House. Come see Norman! And die at his cold, mechanical hands!

Well, I imagine that, right now, he’s confined to a computer in a lab. The Dr. Frankensteins at DARPA surely have a bodily cure for that.

I can’t help but notice that he was trained in the dark arts using existing anti-social media, stock off them internets. How many other non-AI psychos are training there too? You, please stick to this highly respected web log; no Norman here…

Hey! Given his location and disposition, maybe his full name is Norman Kennedy.


Kennedy/Skynet 2020.