Happy Halloween everyone!
I’m still on vacation but I thought I might render a small service by suggesting a few costume ideas for tonight’s parties and so forth. Just in case you forgot or were worried about the PC thing. Here goes:
Donald Trump. A cheap mask, a dark suit and a red tie should do it. This will frighten all of your liberal friends. Beware though – some more red-blooded ladies might ask you to grab them.
Hillary Clinton. This will scare pretty much everyone. Don’t be too convincing or else you might get arrested. Mistaken identity happens.
Putin. A mask, no shirt and a horse will make you the leader of the free world. If you see a “Trump” out there, give him a hug. Slap every”Hillary” you encounter.
If you’re a white man, just go as yourself. This will be my option. Tell the kids you’re a walking, talking micro-aggression. They’ll run away crying.
A Confederate Battle Flag. Apparently there is nothing scarier. Except for a …
AR-15. Actually, outside of D.C., NYC, and LA, people will want to shoot you. I’ll leave that to your imagination.
Rioter. Just wear a hood and run around screaming about killing the debils. If anyone inquires, just tell them something angry and incoherent. Steal something.
Harambe. With a Confederate Flag and an AR-15. Offend everyone. It’s all in a night’s fun.
FBI Agent. Dark suit and dark glasses. Walk around handing out Hillary subpoenas. ASk to see phones and tablets.
At an American college campus go as any of the following:
- Any of the above – though 50% won’t know who or what you are;
- An Indian;
- Anyone in blackface (even if you’re black);
- General: Lee, Jackson, or Forrest;
- Textbook – this one may overflow the safe rooms….
There you have it. A quick, easy guide to the most politically-incorrect Halloween ever. Hurry; only have about six hours left.
*If you are an attractive college-age girl and are afraid of running into anyone dressed as I described herein, please come to my neck of the woods. I’ll … protect you… Bring me cigars…