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PERRIN LOVETT

~ Deo Vindice

PERRIN LOVETT

Category Archives: fiction

COLUMN/FICTION REDUX: Once Again, It’s Tweetsie Time

30 Friday Aug 2024

Posted by perrinlovett in fiction, Other Columns

≈ Comments Off on COLUMN/FICTION REDUX: Once Again, It’s Tweetsie Time

Tags

fiction, Tweetsie Christmas

Once Again, It’s Tweetsie Time

 

Autumn is coming, and once again, it’s my favorite time to praise the great North Carolina treasure, Tweetsie Railroad. My first visit to America’s greatest amusement park was during the 1970s. I cannot recount how many times I’ve been back, but I hold steadfast that Tweetsie is the one place that never seems to change. It’s always, always, always exactly the way one remembers it from childhood. Before I forget, let me also recommend this place, another delightful getaway just around the corner from Tweetsie, and founded by the same good family. And while I’m doing free promos, eating at the Peddler is mandatory when visiting the area.

Rather than recite every single virtue of Tweetsie or even a fraction of them, I decided to republish a Tweetsie-themed short story from a few years ago. Please enjoy!

 

Et Pisces Cultro

Perrin Lovett, 2020

‘One of you will finally catch him one of these days,’ Will said, not quite to himself, as he sat on the rear cargo deck of his SUV, looking down at something. ‘And, maybe they’ll promote you guys to a full eight cents.’ He laughed softly as he started digging around in a large bag with one hand. His other hand held a pocket knife. Rather, it held his pocket knife, a marvelous little folding device without, in his mind, rival or equal. He considered it the finest knife in the world, a tool of elegant, simplistic utility with a manly, if subdued, artfulness. It was unique.

It was a smaller design: slim, light, and made for unobtrusively resting in pants of any caliber – rugged denim or stylish wool. The construction was solid steel, with a simple hinge, and a locking release nestled at the end of the handle. Compared to other two-and-a-half inch knives, it was as functional, practical, and reliable as any. The handle set Will’s apart. For embedded under clear resin were three green-tinted postage stamps, set fringe to fringe in a row. Each bore the image of a brown trout leaping from the water in pursuit of an elusive dragonfly. Each boasted the nominal price of 7 ½ cents, as marked years earlier in the distant nation of New Zealand. In a way, he had always credited the fish (and the knife) for his long-ago visit to that far southerly land, his own On The Beach moment while en route to temporary employment somewhere colder. The knife had accompanied him even then. Now, it was ready again for lacerative work.

From the bag, Will, at last fished what he was looking for. That very evening, less than two hours hence, he and his lovely Wendy would take their little daughters, Willow and Wynter, for a night of spooky fun, courtesy of the Ghost Train and Tweetsie Railroad. With Halloween closing in and a chill in the air, warmer clothes were in order. That afternoon, following a day of ordinary, daytime mountain railway excitement, he’d purchased a little pink “No. 12” fleece pullover for Wynter. He’d only to remove the tags and triumphantly present it to her up in the room. He clicked open the knife and could not overlook, momentarily, the significance of the act.

Like the garment, his perfect pocket knife had also come from magical Tweetsie, though not from any gift shop. Many years before, when he was a boy, he’d been wandering around the Country Fair area, Dippin’ Dots in hand. Then, he had noticed a man with a rake, laboriously cleaning years of dust, dirt, and debris from beneath a ride. On the ground were a pile of grime, leaves, bubble gum wrappers, and other dingy trash, awaiting deposit into a rubber waste can. In the pile, little Will caught the gleam of shiny metal, something to naturally attract the attention of a ten-year-old boy. Oblivious of the encompassing filth, he’d simply reached down and lifted the object for inspection. Seeing no one else around, and adhering to the ancient law of Finders, Keepers, he dusted it off on his jeans and, after admiring it, placed it in his pocket. Later, at home, he’d polished the knife and oiled its mechanisms. Despite lying buried for who knows how long, it was sharp when he found it. He kept it finely honed to a razor’s perfection, a feat he’d always found remarkably easy. It was as if this little blade wanted to remain keen of its own silent accord. As such, now he knew it would make short work of his project.

Retailers relish labelings. He pulled back a sticker, then another. He deftly sliced through two plastic tabs. The final challenge was a long nylon stem binding the price tag to a sleeve. With the fleece garment on his knee, he stretched the tag taut with his left hand, two fingers wound around the top of the stem. He placed the sharp blade and prepared to cut. Just then, a passing truck blew its raspy horn. He jerked. The stem snapped clean. But he felt the passing of cold steel across his curled digits. 

‘Oh, wow,’ he exclaimed as that hot ripple down the spine that we all feel in such tenuous moments caused him to lurch again. He examined his fingers cautiously, surprised to find only the faintest, superficial lines of indentation that, even as he watched, receded to nothing. He tucked the sweater under his arm and closed the knife. ‘Woo! That was close.’

‘But we never harm our owner!’ said a small voice, the speaking of which caused Will to drop both coat and knife on the deck. 

‘Who said that?!’ he asked with a start.

‘We did,’ answered the little voice. ‘And please don’t discard us so roughly.’

Will’s hand slowly, almost unconsciously inched towards the knife. He picked it up gingerly and, turning it in his hand, gazed at the three diminutive trout. ‘Was that you?’ he asked in disbelief.

His eyes went wide and his head reeled as the report came in: the first little fish turned its attention and its head away from the fly and straight to Will, and spoke! ‘Of course, it was us,’ said the fish.

‘You can talk?!’

‘The same as you, if more selectively,’ replied the second trout. ‘Well, except for him.’ He nodded to the third fish. ‘He stays quiet. Missing his tail, you know.’ Will observed, for the first time he could remember, that the last trout in the line was creased-over the end of the hilt pommel with its tail obscured or deleted. He had never in all those years noticed. And he had never, in all his life, expected a conversation with at least two fish on a knife. (Honestly, he had never envisioned discourse with any fish, bladed or otherwise).

‘How do you— How do you two fish speak? Is it possible?’ he stammered.

‘Not possible. Probable,’ said the first fish.

‘Not probable,’ said the second, ‘definitive.’

‘Oh,’ said the first, ‘and we are not two, but one. I am the knife of two voices though of one mind.’

‘You just called each other us,’ Will correctly noted.

‘There is no explanation for that. Is this better?’ they both answered at once.

‘That is— This is just a little odd,’ Will admitted.

‘We always expected mild confusion,’ the first fish said.

‘Why haven’t you spoken before?’

‘We have never spoken before,’ said the second fish, ‘except to each other. Long discussions we had beneath the Tilt-a-Whirl, our home for an age of fish.’

‘Ha!’ Will exclaimed. ‘So you remember when I found you? When we first met?’

‘We do,’ said the first, ‘and many thanks for your rescue and kind treatment.’

‘How long were you down there?’ Will asked. ‘Or, better, start from the beginning. What’s behind a talking knife?’

‘The long or the short of it?’ asked the second. ‘Better to finish faster, eh?’

‘Indeed, time is wasting,’ said the first. ‘I’ll explain a little: Will, you yourself have noted, more than once, that we are marked Japan, rather than China or USA like so many common blades. We are the work of an old katana master, sold through a trading company to a certain menswear shop.

‘What was it? Thirty years gone by? We were acquired by a man who treated us well enough. He visited your favorite amusement park more than once. It happened that, upon a time, he and his daughter ventured onto the Tilt. We were, if we can remember it, already dangling close to the edge of the pocket, so to speak. Sir Newton was right about motion. Once we started moving, started flying, we didn’t stop until we rolled, slid, and came to rest on the metal decking near the outside rail of the amusement. He could have found us, we suppose, if not for the vibrations. When the machine slowed down, the motor shuttered, the floor shook and we fell through the cracks – and not as a matter of mere saying. Lonely and forgotten—’

‘He never forgot us,’ added the second trout.

‘No, but he was most late in thinking of us when he finally did. And too slow to finally act,’ said the first. ‘For about a year we lay amid the crud and smut until you came along. And, thank our maker, that you did.’

‘You said it was an age,’ countered Will.

‘Yes, for us,’ said the second; ‘time passes differently for trout on a dagger.’

‘Oh,’ remarked the first, ‘and time is running away here and now. We can explain a little more at the park tonight. Does not someone need a certain pink cloak?’

‘Wow. Yeah. Thanks,’ Will said, then venturing to inquire: ‘What are your, er, what’s your name?’

‘Piscis Gladius, at your service as always,’ the knife answered as one.

Enlightened, and still amazed, Will stowed his new friend and former tool in his pocket, handled the pullover, and made off for room 414 at the Holiday Inn, Boone.

Wynter, aged three, was enthralled with her new outerwear. Donning it she became a fashionable sight to match her older sister. Clad against the night airs and the threat of fog or drizzle, the happy family soon meandered down US 321 towards Blowing Rock. 

On the short drive, as the girls chattered away in their car seats, Will asked Wendy, ‘Did you ever read The Children of Hurin?’ 

‘What’s that?’ Wendy remarked. ‘Is that a kid’s book?’

‘No, it’s Tolkien. One of his posthumous books, a tragedy.’ Will said.

‘No, I haven’t,’ she said. ‘Is there anything Halloween spooky in it?’

‘Kind of. It’s about Hurin’s son, mostly. He, among many adventures, found a talking sword.’ Will let the words fall out slowly, his mind somewhere else and his eyes on the road.

‘Well, no tragedy tonight. We’re out for spooky fun with the Ghost Train, right girls?’ Wendy said and asked, more to the back seat than to Will. Then she turned to the radio. ‘Let’s see if there’s some macabre music on!’

There was not, as it turned out, though the girls (and Wendy) had fun with a kid’s sing-a-long CD about a black cat and a jack-o’-lantern. Will kept thinking about his new fishy acquaintances. Fifteen minutes later, he did the honorable thing and, seeing a chance, dropped the ladies off nearer to the main entrance, himself resolved to seek out a parking space alone. For some reason, he parked as far away as he could, or as far as the attendants would allow. On his slow walk up the hill to the ticket office and gates, he checked to make sure no one was close or watching and he pulled out the knife.

‘Okay, now. What’s the real story behind a talking pocket knife, my postal friends?’ he asked.

‘Ah, yes,’ said the first trout. ‘We, as we said, were crafted by a great master in Seki. His skill, and perhaps something greater, lives on in us. We always knew we were smart – uh, smarter than your average knife – but we could never bring ourselves to speak out loud. That is, to anyone else or even to ourselves.’

‘We kind of thought together, if that makes sense,’ added the second fish.

‘Indeed, indeed,’ rejoined the first.

‘You never spoke to the first owner? The man with the loose pocket?’ Will inquired.

‘No, sadly,’ said the first. ‘He was a good enough fellow, and he took us on all sorts of adventures.’

‘We went to the World Trade Center, and to some, well, mysterious meetings in Washington, along with many other exciting places!’ the second said happily.

‘And, then you graciously took us to the home of our philatelic ancestors. And the frigid extremes of the Pole,’ said the first. ‘Exhilarating, if cold enough to freeze the fish off a steel blade.’

‘We’ve a mind to see our true home of origin, where the stamps met the metal, in Japan, someday. If it can be arranged. Perhaps this visit to Tweetsie can help us along,’ said the second, whimsical.

‘The Tweetsie magic, yes!’ said the first. ‘It’s probably not magic, per se, more of Divine Providence. But it was here, in this blessed little realm, under the Tilt-a-Whirl, that we first spoke. To ourselves, of course. And it might just be proximity, tonight, that prompted our speech to you, dear William.’

‘You guys think there’s more of that magic ahead?’ Will asked.

‘We do, now that we see more clearly,’ said the second.

‘You talked about traveling. And you want to get back to Japan. You think there’s any chance I could help with that tonight?’ Will asked.

‘Possibly, if not probably or definitely,’ replied the second.

‘What can I do, if or when the time is right?’ Will wanted to know.

‘Cast me away,’ said the first trout, flatly.

‘Where? Like into a lake or something?’ Will asked with mild trepidation.

‘Oh, no! Nothing like that, Will,’ soothed the first fish. ‘Let’s just say, if and when the time is right, you will know him when you see him.’

‘I’ll just know him when— Oh, hey, people and the ticket office, guys! Back in the pocket, we go,’ Will said with a wink.

In a jiffy, he passed through the turnstile and into the legitimately happiest place in the world. He was as awed as ever as he walked past the stroller rentals and the ironically-juxtaposed jail and began scouting for his family on Main Street. It was always the same at Tweetsie, regardless of the year, the season, or the time. The little park was (or is) the one place that is always exactly the same as one remembers it from childhood.

Will noticed a sign near the Cowboy Cantina. In a few days, the final day of the season, a concert was to be held at the Hacienda. Will reckoned they would have to miss that fun, even though he knew the band and wanted to sing along.

‘Dandy and the Bass Slayers! Boy!’ he said out loud.

‘Vee herb dap!’ came a watery call from his pocket.

‘Sorry guys. But it’s bass, not trout,’ Will explained. ‘They’re a rockabilly band from… Hello, baby girls!’ He had found his loved ones.

‘Daddy!’ Wynter practically screamed as she jumped up into his arms.

‘It’s me!’ he said before pecking her on the forehead.

‘Daddy! We should have worn our Halloween costumes!’ said Willow, excitedly if somewhat ruefully.

‘Well, now, let’s see,’ said Will; ‘I think we’re costumed enough. You two and mommy are obviously princesses.’ It was a kindly remark, true in a familial sense, pleasing to young daughters, and it generated a smile from an appreciative wife.

‘So, daddy?’ began Wendy; ‘Just what are you? Our prince?’

‘No,’ he answered. ‘I’m just a greens manager enjoying a long weekend.’

‘That’s not a costume!’ Willow sang while pulling back and forth on Will’s hand.

‘Everyone else is making up for it! Look at all these characters around us! Now, what are we going to do?’ He placated.

They did just about everything, and some things more than once. The Ghost Train waited while the family had dinner in the Cantina. Then, there was a small matter of more shopping at the very same stores that they’d visited earlier that day. Some pictures were taken. Then! Then, they rode the Train, with frights, thrills, and chills aplenty. They found themselves in a delightfully dark haunted wonderland. There was so much to take in! Ghouls, ghosts, goblins, and more lurked around every laughing corner. The family found out that they call it a Freaky Forest for a reason. And, who knew candy corn worked so well in a funnel cake?! After seeing a spooktacular show at the Palace, they ventured up to Miner’s Mountain for more shows, more rides, more pictures, and more fun. For added measure, just to be safe, they even had some additional fun. On the way back down, via the chair lifts, Will had to ride by himself, a car behind the ladies. He listened to them sing and shout and yell Hello, spiders! to the giant, illuminated spiders down on the hillside. After a moment, he pulled the knife out once again.

‘Hey, guys. I’ve been looking for whomever this is supposed to be, and I haven’t really seen him yet,’ he said.

‘No, you wouldn’t,’ said the second trout; ‘not yet.’

‘You’ll know him when you see him, not before,’ said the first.

‘So, he wasn’t that tall, intelligent but dangerous-looking man with the very attractive woman at his side?’

‘Certainly not.’

‘It’s not the last owner, is it?’

‘No. We’re going forward, not backward.’

‘Is he anything like me?’

‘Like you, perhaps, as you were.’

The conversation ended at the lower lift station. The knife was again concealed and, roundabout, Wendy, Will, and the girls ran, skipped, and frolicked their way over to the Country Fair. There, the falls were free, the tornado was gusty, the turnpike was cruising, and the arcade was refreshing. Will and Willow even braved a car on the Tilt, while Wendy and Wynter dared to occupy another. Will almost assumed that the knife would once again fly off, literally, on a further escapade. But in the end, when he checked, it was still in his pocket. At last, as the evening drew towards its closing, the ladies wanted one final thrill. Space limits dictated that only they could ride the ferris wheel, so Will contented himself to sit and watch. 

He had taken to a bench near the Tilt and was watching (and listening) as the women of his life circled high above. He knew that after the very next revolution, they would exit and this particular Tweetsie visit would come to an end. He didn’t know that he had inadvertently taken out the knife, nor that he was gently turning it in his hand. He had just realized what he was doing and was again examining the stamps as they turned upwards to his face, kindled by the carnival lights all around him. Suddenly, a voice spoke – and it was not aquatically-accented: ‘That’s a nice knife you have, mister.’ Will looked up and observed a boy of about ten, who was keenly looking at the little folder. Without thinking any more about it, Will stood up and held out the knife to the lad insistently. After a second of hesitation, the boy took it.

‘That’s a nice knife you have,’ Will said with a smile.

‘Gee. Thank you, sir,’ said the boy.

‘Don’t thank me,’ said Will, ‘thank the fish.’ With that, he simply walked away, almost immediately running into the giggling womenfolk.

‘Will Ferrum, did I just see you give your favorite knife to that little boy?!’ Wendy asked perplexedly.

‘You did,’ Will said. ‘Somebody has to get them to Japan.’

While both the gift and the remark potentially begged a few questions, she asked him no more about it, and he explained it no further. Instead, they all four wound their way back, past the Spice Ghouls, past the prize pumpkins, and past spills and chills galore, to the exit on Main. As they were departing, and maybe they didn’t even hear it, thus began the melody of “Pet Sematary” by the Ramones. And a pale, strange man in a cape and a top hat, seated across the cowcatcher of Old Number 12, began to laugh.

Consider steel, as cold as night,

Allocution of the angled;

Find the sword a cordial sight,

So keeper be embrangled.

~The End~

Furthermore,

Deo vindice. Deus est etiam iustitia.

COLUMN: How It Might Happen [Fiction Rerun]

07 Wednesday Aug 2024

Posted by perrinlovett in fiction, Other Columns

≈ Comments Off on COLUMN: How It Might Happen [Fiction Rerun]

Tags

aircraft carrier, Iran, rerun, War, WW3

The following short story first appeared on my blog on March 19, 2021. Over three years later, it is still remarkably relevant, perhaps more appropriate now than then. 

 

How It Might Happen

 

Brynlee pulled her thong up to fully expose the new marijuana leaf tattoo riding high on her plump, white right cheek. She was delighted TikTok was working again (it had been off-and-on for a few days for unknown reasons) though she was moderately distressed the comments feed still wasn’t active. ‘Weah muh boiz? Weah beo-chez? Thot bee hawt!’ she slurred as she began to twerk for the camera. ‘Yaw git high why I shake dis booty, shake dis booty, shake diss booooo-tay!’ 

The noise from the living room really bothered her—almost as much as the loss of instant gratification from her ten thousand loyal followers. ‘Turn dat sheeit dow!’ she screamed. ‘Dat bee dee nooz?’

Suddenly, Marqueena, the seven-year-old daughter she’d had with Darnell, a man she barely remembered, stormed into the kitchen. Sober eyes would have detected the fear and distress on the cute little face, half ivory, half ebony.

‘Which ship is daddy on?!’ the little girl asked with a shout.

‘Gah! Gurl, waay,’ the attention whore exclaimed as she tapped off her phone. ‘Wuh? Why? He on dat Ray-gan, da airpane sheep.’

With an ear-splitting scream, the child crumpled to the floor in a sobbing heap. Between wails, she bleated, ‘Daddy! Daddy!’

Her wasted, worthless mother stepped over her writhing body and ventured to the doorway. From there, she witnessed something on the 80-inch screen that almost drove the booze and drugs from her underpowered mind. She looked just in time to see the third playing of the first hypersonic anti-ship missile as it plowed into the starboard side of CVN-76. Four more bright flashes followed in rapid succession. Within minutes, over one hundred thousand tons of steel, billions of dollars, and six thousand men—Darnell included—sank to the ocean floor.

While little Marqueena rolled and cried, pounding the linoleum with her fists, Brynlee stupidly muttered, ‘Day-um. Muh check…’

The horrific martial scenes on the television were replaced by a stunned Tucker Carlson. With great effort, he spoke again, ‘And, that was Sunday night. Three days ago. They’ve been lying for three days, lying as if nothing was wrong. Well, it is. It’s worse than wrong, it’s unbelievable. It’s terminal.

‘It took Russian and European reporting, that they tried to block, to break the truth openly. For three days, President Harris, or Pelosi, or whoever the hell is supposed to be running this failed nation has been lying to us. A training exercise? Retaliatory strikes. Mission accomplished? Your sailor will contact you when routine radio silence is lifted! Lies. Lies. Lies!

‘Here’s what we know—now!—that really happened. The Iranians knew the strikes were coming and they were ready. Not a single US cruise missile or bomber got through. Tehran obviously has this Russian S-400 or S-500 system and it obviously works. They also have, according to new reports we’ve been able to verify, advanced ultra-high-velocity sea-skimming missiles. That’s what sank the Reagan along with three support ships. 

‘Our Navy is so weak, so unprepared that they can’t even recover the very few survivors. The Iranians, to their great credit, have been picking up our wounded, treating them, and offering to return them as soon as possible. They, it seems, have Allah’s grace; we’ve lost it.

‘Within an hour of the Battle of the Arabian Sea, China moved against Taiwan, their first step being to sweep the US Pacific Fleet aside. That’s when we lost the Roosevelt and the Nimitz and other support ships, lost them to even more advanced weaponry and tactics. That’s when we lost most of our island-based assets in the South China Sea and the Philippine Sea. China, by the way, is not interested in recovering any of our MIAs. Also, by the way, there is practically nothing we can do about any of this.

‘That’s when, that’s how we lost an estimated thirty-thousand casualties in one hour. That’s why Vladimir Putin sternly reminded Washington of the new Russian defense alliances with Beijing and Tehran. That’s when the failed, satanic, blood-thirsty fools in the White House started lying. That’s how we know this paper tiger has no teeth. Just maybe, maternity flight suits and transgender sex change operations weren’t the right priority. Well, regardless of how we look at it, America’s imperial age just ended.’

Fiction Column: NO LOST CAUSES

08 Friday Mar 2024

Posted by perrinlovett in fiction, Other Columns

≈ Comments Off on Fiction Column: NO LOST CAUSES

Tags

CSA 2.0, Free Palestine, Gazacaust, Pericles In Exile

NO LOST CAUSES

~A “What If” Alternative Present History~

 

Danivolsky District, Moscow, one afternoon…

Upon exiting the Metro station and climbing the stairs to the street level, as soon as her eyes peered above the top step, Julia watched an orange street car pull away to the east. In another moment she was standing on the plaza sidewalk. With a quick glance to her left, she saw the next tram coming, a sparkling new white model, still a short distance away. She paused under a canopy, noting the distinct if temporary change in the weather. While she wasn’t sure if meteorological spring would come early, as some now predicted, she was slightly gladdened by the day’s increase in sunlight and temperature. After loosening her scarf and collar, she took out her phone.

With another check, seeing the tram inching closer, she scrolled to Perry’s latest email and its literary attachment. She felt a slight pang of guilt in that she had not yet read it—a nothing of a hopeful little story, as he’d put it. En route to him now, she’d wondered if she had time and the necessary attention to give it justice, be it a nothing or otherwise. Just then, an idea popped into her head, immediately followed by buds popping into her ears just below her mink hat. She carefully selected the “read aloud” feature and tuned the delivery speed to 1.5x. That, she thought, even as the tram slowed to a stop before her, would be fast enough to get through the whole story on her short hop while still allowing her a full digestion. As she boarded and waved her troika card over the reader, a mildly robotic male voice began to tell her the tale:

Rafah, Gaza, Palestine, present-day…

To little Rindi’s reckoning, as best her six-year-old mind could see it, the shift in tempo and the welcomed reprieve had come just a few days earlier, perhaps a few days after the world learned the hideous truth about the mass murder and maiming of nearly one thousand starving people in the streets, lured by the occupiers with the false promise of food and clean water. News, internet, and cellular service, absolutely unreliable since October, had lately almost completely disappeared. Yet rumors swirled and grew. Adults and older children spoke furtively about some new outside actor joining the conflict, someone who could turn a massacre into a fighting chance for life. The daily bombings and raids had slowed and then, just the day before, had stopped altogether. New cruise missiles and jet aircraft were seen, here and there, screaming through the sky high above the refugee camp. 

No one believed her when she tried to explain, but she was certain she had caught a glimpse of two of the new missiles. They had looked like small darts and she could have sworn they had little wings. She gasped as they sailed silently through the clear blue heavens, followed by a faint yet reverberating, cascading crackle of artificial thunder. They came and went in an instant. Nobody listened to her, though everybody excitedly if cautiously spoke. She didn’t understand the importance of the directions, but all the adults noted that these new weapons fly in from the Sea and towards the occupiers. Out of terrible desperation, hope arose that some unknown force was driving back the murderous besieging hordes. Beyond hope or even belief, it appeared that was exactly what was happening. The warming winds at the end of winter were bringing great change, greatly needed. Many prayers were raised that it would immediately nourish and heal the ailments of war and famine.

And sure enough, just the night before, trucks, ambulances, and taxis had sped through the rough streets at her far end of the camp, speeding, in fact, all over the beleaguered city. Police, freedom fighters, aid workers, and other good men hastily grabbed up those most grievously wounded or famished, taking them back towards the old port where it was alleged a new field hospital had been very recently erected. In their place were left bottles of “Publix Spring Water” and something called “Clif Bars” — labels printed in a script Rindi couldn’t read though she knew what their wrappings contained. Promises were also left that more and better were on the way very soon. And again their hopes rose.

The deep night had been hectic, enlightening, but still terrifying. Rindi couldn’t remember sleeping. Out in the cold, voices shouted that something miraculous was happening at the old jetty, some work of hasty martial engineering. Soon thereafter, at some distance but still far too close at hand, a mighty series of explosions sounded, blasts that lightly shook the ground and her sleeping mat. Still, any fear tempted to return was denied by some unreasoned optimism. More jet engines roared overhead. Someone cried out that the occupiers’ wall and fence, to Rindi’s people “the cage,” had been felled nearby. A few loud vehicles passed the tent. ‘They are coming!’ someone had shouted in the dark, though with a hint of praise in place of trepidation. Higher rose the hopes of all.

It was very early. The light of a cool dawn was breaking. Rindi had just finished her Clif Bar, splitting it with her little sister. Otherwise, she might have thought it tasted funny, not quite sweet or sour, though with a definite hint of chocolate. Then and there, however, it tasted like deliverance, the first hard sustenance she’d had in over a week. She had just allowed the baby to lick the sticky remains of gooey dough from inside the foil wrapper when, suddenly, great excitement grew to a pitch outside their tent. The constant cheers and the mechanical rumbling, groaning sounds forced her outside for an inspection. 

With one hand, she pulled the collar of her pink sweater tight. The very small girl’s shiver returned as she watched the procession, already in progress when she finally forced her way through an opening between the legs of some adults, one of whom was her mother. However this time, her flutters owed to a confident anticipation she didn’t fully understand, a healthy rejoicing change from the usual quakes born of cold, hunger, and dread. Even as she’d approached behind the older folks, the bawl was noisy, near-deafening. Again the ground was shaking, accompanied by a rumbling in the air that flowed with the sound of large engines revving, and the repeated great blasts of many air horns. She was astounded to see a large column of military vehicles passing them by, making for the wall and, Rindi and the others guessed, business with the occupiers beyond. In a long array, there came a convoy of assorted large grey GAMAZ and URAL trucks. Some of them looked like rolling boxes. Some were topped by strange antennas. Others towed trailers and more than a few artillery. A great many of them carried soldiers clad in grey. Betwixt and between the trucks, there were many columns of grey battle tanks—T-90s, T-14s, and the new-to-the-world C-1 Forrests. These latter mechanical beasts, along with some of the trucks, flew flags. She had never seen them before though she found them at once striking and beautiful. The vehicles all boasted a series of markings, words, and numbers Rindi could not make out or interpret. Commanders sat half within their hatches atop the tank turrets, stern men wearing grey camouflage uniforms and helmets. As the last tank passed, Rindi caught its commander looking to her side of the street. He had a short blonde beard and, despite the low light, he wore black sunglasses beneath his helmet. He took off his glasses, slowly raised his other arm, and saluted the crowd. At the risk of dropping her big pink doll, almost half as tall as she, Rindi returned the gesture. She knew he winked directly at her. Then he and the others were gone. She leaned out and watched as they vanished in the distance where the cage walls were or had been. From the remote clouds of dust that leaped into the air, it was obvious they were dispersing once they passed out of Gaza.

Voices called out all around her, though they were temporarily drowned from above. Rindi and all the others looked up to see a flock of ten or twelve attack helicopters fly forward, following the tanks with their noses down. They cleared the wall and, most likely overtaking the armor, they also dispersed in this direction or that. At the edge of sight, it looked like one released a torrent of rockets or flares as it pivoted. Soon they too had vanished. But while they had been overhead, Rindi thought they were very loud, whooping along under counter-rotating props. She noted they were all grey, bearing strange markings she had never seen before. Maybe it was the rising sun or her imagination, but to her, they almost looked like flying crocodiles. As scary as they might be, she loved crocodiles and remembered them from her older brother’s school books. He had explained that some people called them alligators, a distinction she didn’t understand. Sadly, he had never explained further and never would; he had been martyred by the occupiers in the opening weeks of the horrible assault on their town in the north of the Strip.

While she was excited like everyone else, she was also naturally curious. She asked again, “Who are they?” And, again, she was ignored. Her temptation to ask once more was quashed when she heard a new sound coming, a musical sound. Looking down the street, back towards the beach and the port, she plainly saw a marching band approaching at the head of what she took to be a parade. Now the vanguard, the band itself, was passing by. While a few children stopped their ears over the loud, brash music, she found solace and a thrill in the blarred notes. Who were these men, she wondered, this time only to herself. Had she known English (and Latin), the answer marched right by her on a banner: “Appalachian Scots Corps ~ Semper Prius In Periculo.” 

Regardless of her understanding, they marched forward. The big drums explained themselves. But she had never seen, or heard of, or certainly heard the other instruments. Bags of cloth, they appeared to her eyes, each topped with numerous pipes or funny reeds. The marching men, soldiers she took them, blew into a reed while squeezing the bags. This produced a constant loud but melodious music. And how these men marched! Each wore a grey uniform, topped by a combat helmet, but underneath their body armor, Rindi was astounded to see they also wore skirts. Not the kind Mama wore—these, also grey, were shorter, stopping around the men’s knees. Their black combat boots stomped along rhythmically. 

The whole end of the camp crowded thickly at the edges of the street to catch a glimpse of these newcomers. Rindi found herself clapping and marching in place, her doll dangling precariously under her arm. She saw more of the beautiful flags. Right behind the band came more infantry, more men in grey uniforms and helmets, though these wore pants, not skirts. Each carried a Kalashnikov battle rifle and wore a heavy pack. Even more of the beautiful flags were on moving display. She had never seen them before. A few, the ones maybe a little larger than the others, featured three red and white stripes with a blue field in one corner bedecked with a circle of white stars. But it was the other flags, the more numerous flags, that caught her attention. They were fields of brilliant red crossed with ribbons of blue like an artful elongated “X” with each ribbon holding more white stars. 

The marching column reached the end of the street by the clearing and quickly moved on towards the remains of the wall, which must have by then been fully broken down by the tanks. Thousands of these men exited Rafah and entered the fray. And at the very end, a single C-1 slowly rumbled past. Rindi again saw the words and numbers she didn’t understand. This time, however, a man in the crowd read them aloud: ‘THIRD ARMOR / 03-212 / Confederate States Army.’

‘It was them, Allah be praised!’ another man yelled nearby. ‘Their missiles—from the sea—halted the attacks! They drove the great satan’s ships away! They sent the scouts, the doctors, and the food. Allahu Akbar!!’

Rindi looked all around. The people were still generally shouting and cheering in jubilation. ‘Who are they, mother?’ she asked. ‘Who were those men in the tanks?’

‘The Americans,’ her mother said. ‘The Americans have come!’

‘I thought the Americans were our enemies, friends of the zionists,’ Rindi said in protest.

‘My darling little girl,’ her mother explained, ‘you speak of the other, hateful Americans, the step-children of the devil. They who arm and empower the occupiers, they who spread misery around the world whenever they still can. These are the remnants of the true Americans, mostly Christians from the great south of their distant land. At last, they defeated the devil’s forces in America; now they have come to face his children here.’

Even as a trio of SU-25s flew hurriedly over, making for the growing battle, Rindi smiled. Then she threw her hands up (and her doll) and openly laughed in joy. 

****

Just a little over a week earlier, Rafah’s triumphant merriment had been preceded by solemnity and slow, strong words in New Richmond, Virginia, capital of the Confederate States of America. From his office, the leader of the free Americans addressed his television audience concerning matters of extreme urgency. Following a short pause, President P.C. Graham took off his spectacles and placed them on his desk. Once more, he looked into the camera and continued speaking to his nation and much of the free world:

‘My fellow Americans, all peoples of goodwill joining us tonight, I have just recounted but a fraction of the litany of abuses, abominations, war crimes, and crimes of aggression committed by Israel against those who may well constitute the poorest, most helpless, and most defenseless population on our good earth. These are plain, painful, and horrible truths that the world can no longer afford to ignore. Less than one decade ago, we in Dixie liberated ourselves from a similar if far less acute tyranny after fifteen long decades of suffering. We barely had the ability to throw off Abraham Lincoln’s propositional chains, and we only did so with the help of our international friends and partners. Are we now prepared to watch as other friends and innocents are slaughtered on the altar of hate, ethno-religious supremacy, and genocidal expediency? 

‘What I am about to reveal to you, dear people, dear friends, is my answer to that terrible question. It follows hours and days of discussion among your government officials as we pondered history, morality, and that hideous litany of deadly provocations. I spoke of the murder of little Hind Rajab, her family, and the paramedics sent to rescue her. I spoke of yesterday’s massacre by machine gun of starving people, lured into a shooting gallery with the false promise of food. That horror has already been repeated—they now call the crimes flour massacres. We have discussed these matters and more. I have also discussed the foregoing with Presidents Putin and Jinping. I attempted, in vain, a discussion with that recalcitrant and craven leader to our north. 

‘I have spoken with the valiant President Ramaphosa of South Africa far away, praise be to him and his team, as well as the honorable Lady Abrams of New Africa, our southwesterly neighbor, and ally. Lady Abrams and I have the concurrence in judgment of President Jones of Texas and or President Obrador of Mexico. I have spoken with Middle Eastern leaders, including the Palestinian Authority and Hamas, and I have extensively spoken with my other BRICS colleagues, particularly in Iran and Saudi Arabia. I have spoken with other free leaders in our Hemisphere. Several of these leaders and nations have joined me in forming the Coalition of the Noble. My decisions this evening follow in the deliberations of the Security Council and the rulings of the International Court of Justice. Most importantly, they stem from the request and permission of the lawful government of Palestine.

‘Therefore, for all these reasons, by all these agreements, and for the sake of honor, charity, and human dignity, the time to act is upon us all. Because the poor, starving, and displaced people of Gaza and of greater Palestine face certain genocide and as time will not admit delay, I have authorized a Special Military Intervention to demilitarize and deZionize Palestine. This will be a forceful operation designed to liberate and protect the indigenous people and to provide a peacekeeping force while they, and only they decide what is best for their future. For one hundred and twenty-five years, they have been denied the basic right of self-determination. Justice is long overdue and I ask for your prayers that they might make the correct choices going forward, that we may all place these titanic issues in the sovereign hands of God Almighty. 

‘A word of warning—to anyone tempted to interfere with this necessary operation, know that if you do so interfere, with force, then you will face consequences of a kind rarely witnessed in history. You can thwart neither positive justice nor the will and wrath of Heaven. Saint Michael heads our Coalition and he will brook no obstruction.

‘Thank you, my fellow citizens. May God bless the Confederacy. And may He keep, hold, guard, and bless all gentle, righteous mankind. Good evening.’

****

A week later, as Rindi, her family, and people celebrated, columns of Confederate armor, infantry, and support rolled through Kerem Shalom, southeast of the 1950 Armistice Line. As the tanks roared ahead into battle and the howitzers and Heavy Flamethrowers began hurling their flying death, a large field command truck flanked by a tracked Pantsir defense platform and several mobile radar-comm assemblies slowed near the tumbled concrete ruins of an illegal settler Kibbutz barn. The men inside listened through the insulated walls as an occasional boom of cannon fire sounded outside, generally some ways ahead or to their right. 

Captain Williams lifted one side of his headset and turned to address his men: ‘Time to be cold, real frosty. We are now operational, free and clear, and with, unfortunately, somewhat dimmed netcentric ISR reporting. We’re gonna be outside of Fleet’s immediate AD concern. The Davis is devoting everything to shielding Gaza until the ground 400-450s are up. Everything else is concentrated towards our north and east and the show. We have our radar, a rolling rocket and rotary show, and Biggers out there with the Star Trek gun to save our butts from anything the Zios still have left UAV or artillery-wise. Shovels on the walls in case we need to dig in and camo this heap in a hurry the next hillside we come to. And, ladies, keep y’all’s laces tight in case we have to run for it. Got it?’

After a smattering of ‘Yessirs’ and ‘Rogers,’ Specialist Hobson asked, ‘Which way are we to run, sir?’

‘Well, towards the front!’ Williams returned with a smile. ‘Remember, we’re not alone. New Africans, Texans, and the others are triple-inserting up the coast. Hitting some pretty heavy resistance. That’s where most fleet and air heavy support fire is directed until they punch through. And by the way, we’re all radio English now, with the translators. Aerospace and Signal say they’ve essentially removed intercept and interference capabilities. AND! If y’all hear a rumble to the right, that’s one hundred thousand-plus Egyptians joining the party! There is some extended fleet cruise coverage over our heads. That and some IRG Fattahs are holding the Zios from running out to the desert. We are gonna roll up north—just like we did in the War!—crush this rabble, and meet Hezbollah at Bibi’s house!’

A smattering of rebel yells ended with an announcement from Sergeant Dawson: ‘The desert, sir. Rangers and Recon just took Negev-Dimona and the last associated sites! It appears Mr. Samson is, in fact, impotent, just like GRU said he would be.’

Before anyone could react to the news, Clarke chimed in: ‘Back off the East Coast,’ he said, ‘commander of the Hunley advised the Pentagram that any further interference and he would happily quote-unquote Shermanize Noo Yak and Baastin! Not that the Yankees still have it in ‘em.’

More yells and cheers were quieted by the able voice of Williams again: ‘By interference, they thought they still had it. I presume our good sailor boy meant what just happened in the Med five minutes ago. President Ice Cream reneged on his USN withdrawal and the Yankee floating airport wheeled around, alert launches ready on the deck. Then the Big Beau started slinging Zircons. A moment of silence, please. The very last Yankee carrier is going down by her bow!’

In response, he got anything but silence.

***Big question: Is this too “White Savior” or whatever they call it? Especially from a people with no military, no country, and not even fighting for their own existence at the moment. Not the first tank, ship, pipe, or drum. Lemme know what you think, Babe – Perry

PS: Do let me know if my head is right!  

Julia took her earbuds out and pocketed them along with her phone as she walked into the conference room of the Citadel Forum at the Patriarchal Center. Deciding not to be embarrassed by her tardiness, she found the semi-monthly Anglo-Francophile Friends of Moscow meeting coming near to its end. Taking a seat next to Irena by the wall, she did observe a dozen or so young women, visitors evidently from a sorority at the University of Alabama. Her eyes narrowed for a second as she scanned them, making sure they appeared more interested in the subject matter than the presenter. Satisfied, she turned her attention to him.

Pericles was mainly speaking English, with an occasional French or Russian reference. He’d just said something comical about Tucker Carlson. A quick side remark about something called “the Machine” made the young ladies giggle. He then evidently picked up something or somewhere he’d left off and issued his concluding remarks. 

‘The guy from We Are the Mighty—what a name—was a Mr. Logan, something or another, a special forces veteran and obviously not a serious organizational planner. Again, his article was about the mighty GAE attacking the entire world at the same time. His summation still sticks in my mind: In short, ‘Murica would stomp them! Of course, they would. That was only four years ago. Today, if he’s noticed, four years later, the mighty can’t even stomp the Houthis to say nothing of a mere ten percent of this country’s professional military.’

Perry looked around and then, seeing her for the first time, winked at Julia. ‘They can no longer stomp anyone anywhere. But they can still cause problems everywhere. On their own or via proxies. They deal it out, and we, the powerful and affluent, hard as we do have it some days, we think we’re really under the gun. Truth be told, we’re not. Which leads us back, again and again, to Gaza where they are. I’ll finish with the last lines of a poem by Canadian journalist Paul Salvatori, We are Not as Strong as Palestinian Children:

‘We don’t know the suffering,

And we don’t know how to suffer

Without making it about us.

‘We are not as strong

as Palestinian children.’

He then half-smiled, leaned away from the podium, and said, ‘We’re not. But we are and should be honored by each other’s good company and discussion. Of the good, the bad, and the very ugly. Many thanks to our hosts and the Center. Don’t forget to pick up those pamphlets on the way out. Thank you all for coming and for putting up with me. Merci et bon après-midi. Vsem dobryy vecher. And, last thing, please think about the strong little girl up on the screen, a real girl in a real camp in Rafah. Thanks.’ 

After a few brief words here and there and kind of positioning herself between Perry and the chatty girls from al-a-BAM-a, really against them, Julia allowed him to lead her towards the door and his new Niva Classic outside. 

‘Sorry I was late, baby,’ she said. ‘But from the ending, you seemed to have held it all together very well.’

‘Thanks,’ he said. ‘Did you by any chance have time to look at the Rafah story?’

‘Not to look at it, no. But I did listen to it on the way over,’ she answered.

‘And?’

‘I was rather impressed in a way. But first, tell me what you, the author, think.’

‘Okay,’ he said. ‘As much as I want to, I don’t like it. Feels hollow, like some sort of impotent rage launched out of nothing. I almost chickened out and had a story within a story told by a random protagonist. Ridiculous, really. The heroes are far-fetched, to put it mildly, soldiers who don’t exist. And even if they did, would or could it even work out as written? Tenuous. But the worst part is the feeling that it almost makes a mockery of real suffering. Sure, the idea of riding to the rescue is great. But that won’t happen—not by me—and still, the victimization is very real and terrible. I put that little girl up on the screen as a reminder, like a real Rindi looking down, happy and sweet, but haunting. The words of the poem. She’s real and strong, and all I have are cheap words. How’s that?’

‘Perceptive. Kind and self-deprecating, but maybe missing something. To do or—’

‘What we can do, I suppose. As-is, all they have are South Africa, the Houthis, and Hezbollah. A world of sympathy, but little action. Things keep heating up and moving forward, but there’s just no telling. Which leads me back to wanting to do something. Anything. And wondering if I’m just making the suffering about me.’

‘You’re not.’

‘Thanks. To do anything. Those final social media words of Aaron Bushnell, America’s least likely and maybe last military hero.’

‘My dear,’ she said soothingly, ‘it’s because of his sentiment that I like the story. Or the thoughts behind it. Whether it’s in a court, in the UN, with missiles, with fire, or just with a few words, a few little nothings of words. Nothings of hope. It’s the act of doing anything to raise awareness beyond, for them, not for you or us, that makes the difference. Rindi is Hind Rajab, isn’t she?’

‘Yes.’

‘And if you were General Pericles, CSA, cleared for action, you’d do it, wouldn’t you?’

‘Yesterday.’

‘Not for glory or for Anglo-Western tradition or any of it, but as a genteel marker of the right thing done necessarily to ease the suffering of others, correct? That no true cause be lost?’

‘Your thoughts are clearer than mine. Yes and yes.’

‘Then, my baby—’ She leaned up and kissed his nose. ‘Your head and your heart are in the right place.’

And so, in a ruggedly capable if outlandishly misplaced little four-by-four, they made their way towards the nearest bridge and dinner beyond. Absent-mindedly, he turned the radio on. She tuned to a new station without thought guiding her action. And on some news program, at a recorded protest away in the West, a lone voice called out the cry, ‘From the River to the Sea, Palestine will be free!’

DO SOMETHING.

Second Encore Fiction!

24 Wednesday Jan 2024

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Geopolitika, Italian, Tom Ironsides

I just figured out that Dr. Ironsides’s 2023-24 Christmas fiction was translated into Italian. Una fiction di Tom Ironsides!

So, here once again, is the story:

LA LOCANDA OCCUPATA, LA MANGIATOIA RIDOTTA IN MACERIE, MA UN FUOCO COMUNQUE ACCESO

Perrin Lovett

Una fiction di Tom Ironsides

Sala Vrubel, Hotel Metropol, Mosca, tardo pomeriggio di dicembre…

Tom guardò per un attimo intorno all’ampia sala mentre rifletteva. “Si tratta – ricominciò – in modo triste e ironico, di una rivisitazione invertita o peggiorata di una parte della Storia di Natale originale. Abbiamo alcuni protagonisti simili e circostanze stranamente simili. Il mio impero statunitense, malvagio e morente, sta al posto di Roma. Lui, maledetto, il peggior leader della loro storia malvagia, sta facendo un buon lavoro nel rappresentare Erode. Ma invece di uccidere solo i bambini, uccide tutti i bambini. E tutti gli altri. Duemila anni fa, si dice che Augusto abbia detto: Melior est porcus quam princeps. Ovvero, più o meno, è più sicuro essere un maiale erodiano che un figlio del tiranno. Naturalmente, il nostro imperatore sostituto è un patetico idiota mezzo morto che non riesce nemmeno a camminare e a leccare il gelato allo stesso tempo. Ma forse questo spiega perché l’inutile figlio del nuovo re cliente si nasconde a Miami. Chi lo sa? A rischio di provocare un litigio internazionale, dirò che mi piacerebbe molto staccare la testa del despota con un’ascia spuntata”.

I fan del multipolarismo riuniti si erano rapidamente abituati ai discorsi schietti e apparentemente arrabbiati di Tom quella sera, punteggiati da strane discussioni laterali con e per sé stesso. La maggior parte di loro ridacchiava di cuore all’idea di una giustizia a colpi di spranga, anche se considerava la dolorosa verità che si celava dietro il paragone storico.

…

Read the whole thing, in Italian, at Geopolitika.

I will probably have something new, in English to start, at Geopolitika, soon.

Ciao e grazie, lettori Italiani! Ciao speciale e grazie a Costantino Ceoldo.

Happy Birthday, Dr. I.

02 Tuesday Jan 2024

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Tom Ironsides

Early this morning, Tom Ironsides, rumored to be Gen X’s eldest member, turned 59. As so often happens with nearly too-perfect fictional characters, the cheat usually looks 10-15 years younger. He’s also prone to escaping the chills, aches, and general malaise that currently grips his author. Lucky bastard. And many more to come.

2023 Christmas Fiction Encore

25 Monday Dec 2023

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Christmas, Geopolitika, Ironsides

Geopolitika, in a fiction-publishing first (and maybe last??? =O ), ran Dr. Ironsides’s Moscow adventures today!

25.12.2023
Russia

Perrin Lovett
Tom Ironsides Fiction

Vrubel Hall, the Hotel Metropol, Moscow, a late afternoon in December…

Tom glanced around the wide room for a moment as he thought. ‘It is,’ be began again, ‘in a sad and ironic way, an inverted or worsened retelling of part of the original Christmas Story. We have some similar players and oddly reminiscent circumstances. My evil, dying US empire stands in for Rome. He, damn him, the worst leader in their malicious history, is doing a fine job portraying Herod. But instead of just killing the baby boys, he’s murdering all the children. And everybody else. Two thousand years ago, Augustus was rumored to have said, Melior est porcus quam princeps. That is, kind of, it is safer to be a Herodian pig than a son of the tyrant. Of course, our stand-in emperor is a pathetic, half-dead moron who can’t even walk and lick ice cream at the same time. But maybe this explains why the new client king’s own worthless son is hiding out in Miami. Who knows? At the risk of causing an international row, I will say that I would simply love to hack the despot’s head off with a dull axe.’

The gathered fans of multipolarity had quickly grown accustomed to Tom’s blunt and seemingly angered speech that night, punctuated with odd side discussions with and to himself. Most of them chuckled heartily at the notion of bitted justice even as they considered the painful truth behind the historical comparison.

…

Read the Whole Thing (again?).

In a semi-related note, I’m pleased to see my tandem review of two books by Leonid Savin and Clyde Wilson was house translated into Italian:

Perrin Lovett

Recensioni di ORDO PLURIVERSALIS di Leonid Savin e LOOKING FOR MR. JEFFERSON del Dr. Clyde N. Wilson.

Oggi ho il raro onore di presentare due libri eccellenti in un’unica recensione! Si tratta di Ordo Pluriversalis di Leonid Savin e di Looking For Mr. Jefferson di Clyde Wilson. Come anteprima della recensione, “Ordo Pluriversalis” è, ovviamente, il termine latino per “ordine versatile” o “ordine dei molti”, un nome naturale per un tomo sul multipolarismo delle Nazioni Sovrane; e, non cercate oltre, abbiamo trovato Jefferson, in un certo senso salvandolo da quasi due secoli di confusioni. Nella mia mente, queste opere sono in qualche modo collegate tra loro, sebbene i loro argomenti siano separati sia dagli oceani che dal considerevole passare del tempo. Inoltre, entrambe sono giunte alla mia attenzione e in mio possesso nel giro di pochi giorni. Pertanto, nel tentativo di accontentare tutti, li discuto qui di seguito in successione e con un piccolo grado di sovrapposizione. Li raccomando entrambi con il massimo entusiasmo e sincerità.

Savin, Leonid, Ordo Pluriversalis: The End of Pax Americana and the Rise of Multipolarity, Londra: Black House, 2020.

Indipendentemente da latitudine, longitudine e velocità di rotazione…

Merry literary Christmas!

CHRISTMAS FICTION 2023: The Inn Occupied, The Manger Reduced To Rubble, But A Fire Nonetheless Lit

23 Saturday Dec 2023

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The Inn Occupied, The Manger Reduced To Rubble, But A Fire Nonetheless Lit

~A Tom Ironsides tale by Perrin Lovett~

~~Christmas 2023~~

 

Vrubel Hall, the Hotel Metropol, Moscow, a late afternoon in December…

Tom glanced around the wide room for a moment as he thought. ‘It is,’ be began again, ‘in a sad and ironic way, an inverted or worsened retelling of part of the original Christmas Story. We have some similar players and oddly reminiscent circumstances. My evil, dying US empire stands in for Rome. He, damn him, the worst leader in their malicious history, is doing a fine job portraying Herod. But instead of just killing the baby boys, he’s murdering all the children. And everybody else. Two thousand years ago, Augustus was rumored to have said, Melior est porcus quam princeps. That is, kind of, it is safer to be a Herodian pig than a son of the tyrant. Of course, our stand-in emperor is a pathetic, half-dead moron who can’t even walk and lick ice cream at the same time. But maybe this explains why the new client king’s own worthless son is hiding out in Miami. Who knows? At the risk of causing an international row, I will say that I would simply love to hack the despot’s head off with a dull axe.’

The gathered fans of multipolarity had quickly grown accustomed to Tom’s blunt and seemingly angered speech that night, punctuated with odd side discussions with and to himself. Most of them chuckled heartily at the notion of bitted justice even as they considered the painful truth behind the historical comparison.

Tom continued: ‘So that is that. And thank you, Pericles, for asking. Now, before I forget, I was told to tell you, sir, on orders of Dr. LeFleur, who declined to make this trip in person, there is virtually no will to act or interest in your plan or plans. He said, and I almost agree with him if not entirely, that the cause is not dead, but the spirit is, with the people soon to follow, and that you should simply proceed independently here. I take it that the last part would be the concurring advice of the beautiful woman, surely your Aspasia, next to you.’ He tipped an imaginary hat and continued wrapping up his comments.

‘See,’ Pericles said quietly to Julia. ‘You’re my Aspasia. Any man with a classical background can see it.’

‘And this classical man,’ she noted, ‘he has, his good looks and obvious wit aside, murder in those cold steel eyes.’

‘To quickly readdress your inquiry, young lady, from, is it Moscow Twenty-Four? While the US is still dangerous as any large mortally-wounded predator can be, its days of genuinely asserting its will to dominate the planet are thankfully coming to an end. Even in my time, there was nothing in the way of coherent operational planning and strategy. Just a never-ending series of ill-defined tactical actions, none of which ever accomplished anything lasting. I’m sure you report daily or weekly their deteriorating stupidity. All they have are jaded word spells long devoid of any power. Forget a strong national military foe. They can’t even, directly or by proxy, compete with Hamas, the Houthis, or Los Zetas. The only people still in fear of the American monster are the gelded, bedrugged, illiterate American people themselves. And so it goes.’

Tom waved politely to the reporter and a few other people, and then the homicidal vision suddenly took over as he locked eyes with a man standing by the doors at the back of the hall. The man was older, gruff-looking, and wearing a cashmere overcoat atop a brown suit. The two men stared at each other for what began to feel like an eternity. As the crowd alternately observed them and a rumor of disquiet started to sweep the room, Tom raised an outstretched finger toward his opponent. ‘Is the music still good?’ he asked unflinchingly.

‘We are all good people,’ the man replied in husky Russian-accented English.

An open-mouthed smile of sheer joy took Tom. ‘Give me one second,’ he said in a cross between a shout and a whisper. Then he directed his final words to the audience. ‘That concludes my bumbling presentation, my friends. Now, as Michael Hudson was unavailable, it is my honor to turn the podium over to my friend, Dr. Todd Vispoli, who will speak of matters monetary and economic. To all, I extend my warmest thanks for the invitation and the most gracious reception imaginable in this most marvelous city. Thank you, Merry Christmas, and a happy New Year, one and all!’

After shaking Todd’s hand and patting his back, Tom merrily hopped off the short platform and veritably bounded towards the man by the door, ignoring a smattering of outstretched hands and well wishes en route. The men looked at each other intently for a moment, then, foregoing a handshake, embraced about the shoulders. There followed a hushed private conversation. The other man, likely twenty years Tom’s senior, a kind of healthy, vibrant elderly to look at, was stocky and a little short in comparison to Tom’s looming presence. Still, as Tom kept his head lowered, the two continued speaking eye-to-eye. Soon, Tom led his apparent friend back to the table, where Larry had just pulled up an extra chair.

‘More wine, please, spasibo,’ Tom said to an attentive waiter as he and the man took their seats. He then pointed around the table, making hasty introductions. ‘This is my Carmyn. And my baby brother, Larry, and his much better-looking better half, Darla.’ As a light chorus of “hellos” and “privets” echoed about, Tom said to the man, ‘and you. I have never known your name!’

‘Leonid Zhirinovsky,’ the man said with a smile. ‘Forever to my family, Papa or Uncle El-Zee. To my friends, Leo.’

‘Leo!’ Tom exclaimed. ‘So many years later, now I know.’

The table looked on expectantly and Tom renewed the introduction. ‘Leo, here, was part of my KGB escort on my very first visit to Moscow so many years ago. When was it? Eighty-eight?’

‘I think Eighty-seven, perhaps,’ Leo said.

‘Eighty-seven, then.’

‘Way back then,’ Leo explained, ‘we knew a contingent from the US State Department had come to the American embassy with a following of military officers. We were unexpectedly tipped off, that fateful afternoon, that one young Marine officer was about to be dispatched on foot into the city. We did not know his purposes or much else about him. Tall and young was about all they told us.’

‘It was the end of the first do-nothing day,’ Tom added. ‘And they just told me to go out on the town and enjoy myself. So, never having been here and wanting to see all I could, I did.’

‘He wore his uniform right out the door, out the gate, and onto our streets!’

‘I didn’t want to waste a second changing, so I just hit the pavement in my service greens!’

‘He cut quite the impressionable swath that way. And made our identification so much easier. Some of our girls and women were intrigued. A few men were dismissive. Most bystanders didn’t know what to think of him, roaming about and looking into every shop and cafe with all that silly, cheerful American banter.’ The two roared with laughter at the memory.

‘I had gone a few blocks when, I think the car—that older black car—kind of alerted me. Like, oh, boy, they’re on you! You and your partner were walking, following me on the other side of the street. And you both hung in there as if to subtly announce that was what you were doing—following with a purpose.’

‘He waved to us and jibbered in happy English.’

‘All I could think of,’ Tom said. ‘I do recall you merely nodded in acknowledgement. Your friend never did or said anything.’

‘He was a partner, not a friend.’

‘Oh.’

‘He died during the dark Nineties.’

‘Well, I’m sorry to hear that.’

‘I wasn’t.’

‘Stone cold, you guys,’ Tom said with a cough. ‘At least my night didn’t end up like the Mama Anarchy lyrics treatment!’

‘So, you did investigate the songs?!’ Leo asked with a hint of surprise.

‘Of course,’ Tom said. ‘How could I not?’

Leo, his face softened considerably, looked around at the perplexed faces. He sipped cabernet and then said, ‘so your husband and brother, here, he kept snooping for some time. Kept us walking. Roundabout, he lurked into one of our monitored back alley rock clubs. It’s not terribly far from where we sit. A food order delivery service company now, I think. Anyway, we all had the pleasure of seeing the end of a KINO concert thanks to our intrepid Jarhead.’

‘The music did lure me in,’ Tom said. ‘Sounded really good even as I couldn’t understand a word. The doorman sized me up and just waved me into the club. I think you two might have scared him.’

‘Is that when you met Viktor Tsoi?’ Larry asked. 

‘It was,’ Tom said. ‘One of the best endings of a concert I ever heard. He must have seen the uniform and was curious. We exchanged pleasantries. Nice guy. All of them appeared nice. Such a loss a few years later.’

‘At the end, we moved outside and waited,’ Leo said. ‘Young Lieutenant Ironsides came out and I asked him, is the music good?’

‘And for whatever reason, I just nodded and said, and we’re all good people,’ Tom added.

‘So that explains the tense words,’ Carmyn interjected.

‘Yes, lovely Misses Larke-Ironsides,’ Leo said. ‘And I have been meaning to ask you. Around the turn of the century, an American television show about ancient Greek gods and goddesses became popular in Russia. I remember this one lovely goddess, a vicious warrioress, who entered battle with a startling ululating cry…’

Todd was just making his way to the table when Adrestia’s war call shook the room. As more than a few people panicked, he staggered up to find Tom’s gaggle in stitches. Leo was pounding the table. ‘Nice, Carmyn,’ Todd said. ‘We’re all awake now. And thank you, Dr. Tom, for paying such close attention.’

‘Huh?’

‘Yeah, so I used you and this morning’s bank exchange trip as an example. Five times I called out for your opinion, but all I got was some murmurs about a uniform and a band or something. I was like, hell with him, but it does still work thanks to the BOR. I then briefly discussed Anton Siluanov’s recent mission in Beijing and what it might portend for any real Americans who want to survive and thrive and so forth. I tried to think of your father-in-law’s full name but couldn’t remember, and I couldn’t get your attention. Think he’d be interested?’

‘Don’t know. Stanley’s a little pessimistic these days, uncharacteristically so,’ Tom said. ‘To think, for once I’m the pro-Southern nationalist firebrand of the two of us. I’m sure the situation will reverse again. I’m a Cottonmouth! But, now, meet my old pal, Leo!’

‘I think they say, Diamondback,’ Todd said.

‘They say, Copperhead,’ Leo corrected.

Todd was brought up to speed on Tom’s prior semi-licite wanderings about Moscow. Then, as the conference ended, the small group made their exit from the hall. Todd issued a vague promise about dinner and headed for his room while already dialing his family back in Ohio. Carmyn and Darla were intent on shopping and winter wonderlanding, and departed for a quick powdering of noses, grabbing of coats, and assorted girl talk. Larry joined the two cold warriors for a happy parting drink at the Chaliapin bar. Thirty minutes or so later, as he joined the women, receiving his and Tom’s overcoats, he didn’t hear the old friends’ final quiet words.

‘It was sheer luck I remembered your name,’ Leo said. ‘And that I heard it concerning your talk today. I listened, happily, mostly from just outside the door. With all the talk—and I see the matters weigh heavy upon you, old man—I wonder. In fact, I have a hypothesis. Do you plan to use your unique skills in the great battle for the soul of the failing West? Beyond noble classical education, of course, I say. Do you mean to perhaps violently start righting some of the wrongs?’

‘Start?’ Tom asked. ‘No. I mean to continue.’

With a knowing look, a boisterous laugh, and a firm handshake, they parted ways. Tom joined his family in the lobby by the doors adjacent to the snow-covered Fontan Vitali.

‘You have that Tom’s-up-to-something look,’ Darla said. 

‘I’m up to spending quality time with loved ones in Red Square!’ he answered in a voice merrier than it had sounded in a day or three. ‘Anybody up for GUM, the market, and maybe some skating? Maybe some dandy iPhone Christmas tunes?’

As they made their way outside, Larry said,’ I’m ready for it all. Including a preview of this effigy-burning tradition. Is it the good doctor again this year?’

‘Him and a female friend!’ Carmyn said. ‘Tom made a second doll like a witch wearing a South Carolina flag.’

‘The political trash!’ Darla said. ‘Everyone hates that wicked neocon Jezebel.’

‘Howya gonna do it this year, babe?’ Carmyn asked. ‘The fireplace again?’

‘Oh, no,’ Tom said. ‘Too pedestrian. And let’s cross the street now. No, this year, I have a new toy for the job.’

‘What kind of toy?’ Larry asked as they skipped along the snowy street.

‘My ninety-two dollar homemade cardboard kamikaze drone!’ Tom said with more than a little pride. ‘Down at the shooting lane, Mehr-Bear will love flying it into those two straw wretches!’

‘Less than a hundred bucks, Bubba? And you made it?’ Larr asked.

‘Yep. Old boxes. Tape. Little motor and some throwaway phone parts. A delta-wing pusher. That’s the inert price, of course. We’ll be using as a warhead a little bottle of poor man’s napalm for the ceremony this time. Otherwise, for roughly twice the price—no need to pay ten thousand dollars to some two-bit Aussies—they’ll be armed with, say, TAT—’

‘Tom, Tom, Tom,’ Carmyn said with a laugh. ‘Only you. And, we noticed it went from it to they. How many have you built?’

‘No enough,’ Tom said. ‘But enough of that. Let’s walk and shop and maybe throw snowballs at each other. Enjoy the good mood. I’ve never seen anyone do decorations like the Ruskies here.’

‘It is lovely,’ Darla said. ‘A shame the whole world can’t look and live like this. I’m fixating on your Christmas Story analogy. Sad.’

‘It is,’ Tom admitted. ‘But there’s always hope. The original version kicked off with a good news message from the Archangel Gabriel. Maybe soon we’ll get a martial follow-up word from Saint Michael.’ He paused a minute while they walked, evidently trying to remember something. ‘Ah!’ he exclaimed. ‘That thought and something Leo said reminded me of the missing Republican Senator.’

‘He certainly puts the sin in Senator, that homo,’ Larry said. ‘No one misses him, I’ll warrant.’

‘Why did you remember him?’ Carmyn asked cautiously, almost perceptively.

‘The liars at FOX and News Max haven’t told the tards,’ Tom said, ‘but just before he disappeared, the Russians issued an arrest warrant for him for war crimes related to the SMO.’

‘Aaaand—’ Carmyn dared.

‘And I have to turn him over to the GRU or the FSB or someone,’ he answered.

‘You know where he is?!’ Darla asked.

‘Yeah. He’s in the cargo hold. With us the whole trip,’ Tom said. ‘Forgot all about him when we met with customs yesterday. Hope he’s comfortable. No Boy’s Life magazines like he’s used to, uh, reading, but I did leave him an electric blanket and some water. Hope there was enough air in there for the trip at altitude…’ Three voices oscillated between gasps and chuckles, and Tom added, ‘and, if anyone asks, he was in his present condition when I grabb—when I found him. Right? Better yet, we’ll just say nothing and let them sort it all out. Now, for some fun!’

And as the wider world turned in its usual turbulent fashion, the happy foursome ventured to GUM, Red Square, and other central points. A decent amount of snow fell. Night settled. Relatively nearby, an unnoticed lispy voice moaned from within a handsome trijet hangared by the general aviation tarmac. Further away, children and grandchildren prepared for a reception, a ceremonial flying bonfire, and other Ironsides-esque festivities. And with Christ’s Mass, New Year’s, and the Feast of the Nativity approaching, some semblance of peace took to some of the smaller corners of the world. 

 

THE END

 

Postscript: This story wasn’t the most Christmasy I could have thought of, perhaps, but it was the best I could do. Or, it was what I did—and certainly worth the reader’s good money. We came perilously close to a cancellation, things being what they are. But that wouldn’t have been right. A sigh of relief, eh? As always,

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

счастливого Рождества! С Новым Годом!

UPDATE: Also running at Reckonin‘.

FICTION FOR COLUMN: Thankful Lee On Lake Teletskoye

30 Thursday Nov 2023

Posted by perrinlovett in fiction, Other Columns

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fiction, Pericles In Exile, Russia, Thanksgiving

Thankful Lee On Lake Teletskoye

 

Above, the etiolated late-November sun peeped out between large fast-moving gray clouds with their cold bodies sunk well below the peaks of the surrounding mountains. Below, arm in arm, they inched down the serene lakeshore amidst repeated joyful wind-borne blasts of snow. With a snicker, and after blowing several icy flakes from her phone screen, she read aloud the hastily devised story:

RELEE sci-fi

…

Atlanta, Occupied Confederate States of Amerika and-or Wakanda, New Africa – [DEcide Later] – present day??,

The general rubbed his wide reddened eyes, a look of pure shock etched upon his bearded face. Loud voices called out again and again, meaningless words lost in a cacophony of chaotic thumping bass notes and gunshots. ‘Dear Lord!’ he cried. ‘It’s the apocalypse!’

‘No, no, muh man,’ a glassy-eyed character said casually. ‘Dude! It’s Freaknik. Party time! Party like it’s 1607. Maaan, you want a drag?’ He offered Lee a lit joint. 

‘What is? No! No, I do not. Remove that putrid odor from my presence. What on earth have you done or allowed to happen to the Africans?!’ the general asked in horror. ‘I know these good people. Or I did. They never act like th— And why are all the Whites running around like this?!’

‘General,’ a smartly dressed if solemn man said, ‘It’s a pleasure, of course, General Lee. But you must know that we don’t ever say or think anything that might in any way be construed as defensive of worn, unenlightened European heritage. As you well know, African-Americans and Judeo-Americans played the greatest role in building the Old South. We stand for history, not reality. Multiculturalism is anything but apocalyptic. So kindly watch your words, sir. We fear being called bad names. Besides, I remind one and all that Big Brandon may be listening.’

‘Who the hell are you?!’

‘Zion McMasters of the Shabbyville Foundation,’ the man said, his hand extended.

Lee slapped the hand away and stood up indignantly. ‘You mean you have all of these, what are they? These AR Fifteens in your possession and all of the heavy military equipment just sitting around unguarded, and you tolerate all of this?! Heavens, you’re participating! Mr. Williams! I implore you! Please use your science machine and return me to my own civilized time. To the grave. Anywhere and anytime but this nightmare!’

…

‘Okay,’ she said, turning the phone off and returning it to her coat pocket. ‘That was kind of funny. But also rather sad. Is that the best you can do?’

‘It’s just a sketch,’ he said. ‘And that is probably all I can do, period.’

‘Between this and pablum, I’d pick pablum,’ she said. ‘Let this little idea sit in the hopper until the final moving along comes. Oh! And Perry, speaking of that, did you hear Perrin Lovett retired from writing about American education?’

‘No, I didn’t,’ Perry said. ‘But it’s not surprising. One can only do so much before reassessing the field. The people one tries to help the most, particularly those disinterested or despiteful, either ignore one entirely or stab one in the back the hardest. I know all about that.’

‘That’s what he did, about the reassessment. Or so I think I read somewhere,’ Julia said. ‘After a book, some book chapters, podcasts, radio show appearances, and what I think turned out to be 452 articles, he declared a form of victory, perhaps pyrrhic, and moved on. He was planning to make an announcement in what would have been number 453 but instead, he turned it into some kind of polemical fiction. I suppose he is tired of what President Putin just called a quote-unquote degraded system.’

‘What was 453 supposed to be about?’

‘I think it was his commentary on a New York Times editorial admission that the fake pandemic finally revealed the total demise of Amerikan systemic education. He was also going to briefly get into the ever-so-slightly more intelligent and educated, into the multicultural sexual crime crisis at French universities. Being Perrin Lovett, he had planned to mention a stunning woman he knows who was educated at the University of Nantes—I assume he would have called her his ravissante déesse. 

‘And he was going to conclude with a segue to our most educated and intelligent way of dealing with the issue of migrant children not knowing Russian when they enter our schools. He knows about the coming general immigration overhaul, the deep-sixing of the last faux Western vestiges, and he thinks well of the practice of requiring base language skills before school entrance.’

‘He should consider moving here,’ Perry said as they slowed to a halt. ‘He seems to have somewhat of a Russian heart.’

‘I know. Kind of like my Pericles. And we do need a few more rebellious Catholic Anglo-Norman Aristotelians in our midst. But now, where are we going?’

‘Back, I suppose,’ Perry said, blinking in the snow.

They turned about where the landing and a playground gave way to a little marina. On that day and under those conditions, against all odds a small lone boat was setting sail into the deeper waters even as ice began to visibly form in places on the surface. Perhaps just a little faster than before, they moved back towards the resort. As they strolled, Perry changed the subject.

‘History and economics are no longer taught in Amerikan schools. In fact, really, nothing is taught anymore. The economies of the United States and France have been destroyed by usurious financialization. Few people understand the fact because most people are stupid and because all modern and postmodern schools of economics are about as useful as a COVID so-called vaccine. As such, it is remarkable that the world’s two greatest real economists came together again to explain exactly what happened, what’s coming, and what can be done to remediate the future. Somewhere, should anyone care to partake, there’s a transcript and a video of the discussion. I wish I could link it to the good people somehow as it’s well worth the reading, watching, or listening.’

‘Is that Michael Hudson and Steve Keen talking for three hours about capitalism and multipolarity with Michael DeLay and Anastasia Bendebury?’ Julia asked. ‘I read half of it and listened to the rest.’

‘That’s it,’ Perry said thoughtfully. ‘Though I think Mr. Lovett would preface with the very attractive Anastasia Bendebury.’

‘He would, certainly,’ Julia said. ‘And not without merit. But, speaking of merit, about one-third of the way through, there was an exchange I found fascinating, hilarious, and a little alarming. Bendebury asked Keen something like, So when you say that capitalism collapses, what do you see near feudalism or you see something totally different? And he answered, Mad Max.

That would have been a total hoot coming from anyone but Steve Keen. So Anastasia sought to clarify by saying, I mean, that’s very romantic. But… And Keen cut in and said, Now it’s not romantic. But I’m looking forward to dying before it happens. 

It would almost be romantic, for the average Westerner, except for the learned source. The man was, as usual, very serious.’

‘And as usual, he’ll be very ignored by most Westerners,’ Perry said. He noticed some children having a snowball fight along the treeline between two sets of cabins and smiled. ‘At least some generations will still get A Christmas Story instead of Mad Max. Those kids over there probably don’t know about any of it, not that they’ll ever need to. Safe in their greater sovereignty.’

‘I do wish those two would have left off the infrequent mention of the climate change specter,’ Julia said. ‘Of course, no one is perfect. A small matter. Then again, if the seas do rise, a lot of places full of a lot of wicked people will be swamped. London, New York, DC. That would be just fine.’

‘Hear, hear!’

‘And, hearing,’ she said; ‘Do you think your time-traveling friends will appreciate the economics lesson? What year are they in again?’

‘Yes, and no. 1607 now, I think,’ he answered. ‘The ones closer to the present will understand. And those forever mired in a bygone dream will think or say they get it too. That 1607 business could serve several purposes, more than a few contexts.’

‘1607 as a reaction—always a reaction—to the communist’s 1619 program nonsense?’

‘Of course. Economically, 1607 doesn’t line up the way they think or imagine or fantasize it does. The London Company, within and without Virginia, a forerunner of today’s hedge funds and private central-commercial banking axes of evil, was developed to loot North America while ethnically cleansing the native populations. It simultaneously impoverished the ordinary people of London and England, even going as far and so low as barring the English from growing their own tobacco. It would soon after 1607 replace destitute Londoners down the employment rungs to even the indentured level with a host of what would be euphemistically called in the future teens, gentle giants, joggers, and bird watchers. 

‘It was about what one would have expected from a fake corporate person chartered by a Bible-butchering heretic, Judeo-satanic Lodge loafer, and flaming sodomite. So if one of their crazed purposes is an attempt to blackwash and Talmudize Dixie, they might also consider going all the way and proudly proclaim it was essentially founded by an lgbtP activist—because it kind of was! Strange, but 400 years later, not much has changed on the English throne. Nor in Virginia, really.’

‘The Judaic foray?’ she asked; ‘From the outside to, as usual, converge and control all facets of the culture. Is that really happening? A minor lateral not-so-great leap of desperation?’

‘I conclude it is happening, though there is no warning them about it,’ Perry said with a sigh. ‘They simply won’t hear that. Or think about it, most of them. That’s another potential storm they’ll have to weather in time.’

‘I think your decision is coming along,’ she said. ‘Time to move on, leaving Lee where he belongs, so to speak?’

‘We’ll see—and, probably, yes. Sooner or later. It’s sad. All of America could have gone another way, emulating the functioning multi-nationalism here, fostered by faith, strength, and mutual respect, instead of abiding terminal multiculturalism barely held together by violence and treachery. The fate of the good natives in this small land compared to those of the Powhatan and the Catawba. The fate of the larger people. But, eh— The rest of the world is happily passing Dixie, America, France, and the rest of the Golden Billion by. Here’s me hoping a free and legitimate Western Remnant joins us, especially an updated and free Southern contingent. If not, they’d better watch out for the Nightrider.’

‘The what-rider?’

‘You never watched Mad Max?’

‘Not fully. Just like I’ve never experienced the full turkey treatment of an American Thanksgiving. Is it time, do you think?’

They stood before the main lodge office and the little path and stairs leading to the suites on the upper levels. A gust of wind dispatched a healthy quantity of snow from the evergreens all around them, though they both noticed the flakes directly from the clouds had at least momentarily abated. Unlooked for, the sun peered fully down upon the camp, adding a glow that suggested, if barely, warmth. Perry looked at his watch and said, ‘Eight kilos, four o’clock… It just might be time to start setting all the trimmings up and out.’

‘Once you give the word,’ she added, ‘Mother and I will take over. She wants to carve, just like you demonstrated with the ham. While singing about Alice in the restaurant. Small things. And that should give you and Father a little time to sip, maybe smoke, and discuss whatever men discuss when the snow slows a bit.’

‘Fantastic!’ he said. ‘We’ll probably talk about new and genuinely exciting news. About the coming tribunals and a little justice! That’s how the Department and the Center will probably close this year and open next. May some of it visit the heads of a few Amerikan neoliberals! But for our evening festivities, ahead of a long double Christmas and New Year’s, here’s to a new holiday tradition!’

‘Which didn’t start as most Amerikans tell it?’

‘No, the Massachusetts Yankee tradition, while romantic and maybe partly accurate, isn’t the whole story. Neither is the 1607ers’ 1619 reactionary reinvention. The first Thanksgiving in what is now the dying GAE homeland started in September of 1565 in Florida. Our protesting Puritan and Calvinist friends overlook the hard fact that the first Thanksgiving commenced with a real Christian Mass—in Latin too. In honor of real tradition, after your dad says an Orthodox Blessing, I may add a short Latin quip!’

‘Deo vindice!’ she said.

‘True, but I’ll probably just go with something simple and fitting like, Benedicite cibos bonos et amicos meliores.’

‘Perfectus!’ she said. ‘Ну и хорошо! And now, let’s get to it!’

With that, and a short canoodle, and the now ubiquitous kissing of noses, they made their way down the path towards the waiting feast. The wind hummed, almost singing, new snow began to fall, the sun was again veiled, and a peaceful, thankful calm held the whole of the Altai. 

FICTION FOR COLUMN: Pericles in Exile

27 Friday Oct 2023

Posted by perrinlovett in fiction, Other Columns

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fiction, Pericles In Exile

Pericles in Exile

 

Somewhere high above in the cold, dreary sky, an airliner rumbled along, either leaving or making for Pushkin. By the revving of the engines, as he perceived the sound, he assumed it was departing. But he didn’t check, instead keeping his focus on the green steel tube on the sidewalk, readied on its bi-pod next to a display of furry, ear-covering women’s hats.  She was handling one of them, a rich, dark brown one when he broached his concern.

‘Do you think I can buy this? Is this even legal? I get the feeling a newcomer like me should probably inquire of the FSB before getting such a weapon. I’m not even eligible for a smoothbore at this point, and I don’t want to get deported or anything.’

‘Heaven forfend,’ she said, still feeling the soft ear flaps. ‘We can’t have that. And, while I can’t be certain—who can—I assume anything they sell here is legal. Of course, I would not, being you or me, dare ask the FSB about that stupid thing. And you’re not getting it. How, one wonders, would they react when you carried it into the Metro?’

‘I hadn’t thought about the logistics, no,’ he said. ‘I mean, it’s just so cool. And cheap for— I assume this is cheap for a, what is this? I think it’s a— Hang on, serial’s still on it. It’s an RM-38!’

‘And you’re not getting the stupid MR-whatever.’

‘Not on the train obviously. But who doesn’t want a fifty-millimeter Soviet infantry mortar?!’ He was standing there admiring the thing while wearing an excited boyish smile. He looked most optimistic.

‘I do not,’ she answered. “Why is it even here? Of all the things you could have found at Levash…’

‘I’ll see if the man will hold it. When I buy the Niva, I’ll come pick it up!’

‘Your business, renegade. Father would join your mad endearment for the sad little pipe. And are you still considering the uncomfortable, tiny mud plow?’

‘It’s your car,’ he defended. ‘And it’s classic. Even in the name.’

‘LADA sells much nicer, more comfortable, and more practical cars, my dear. And some of them are four-by-four, like all rednecks love.’

‘Hey! I’m okay with it. Just don’t talk about my people like that.’

‘Not just yours,’ she said. ‘Every culture has them. Our boys in the Urals, some not too far from here too even have y’aaaall’s saying: Эй, вы все! Смотрите на это! You know, Hey, y’all! Watch this! Usually accompanied by alcohol and firearms. Just before some localized calamity.’

‘Good to know I have the approval of the Ural boys. Think how nice this mortar would look in the back of a shiny new mud plow four-by-four. Or maybe resting out the passenger window!’

‘I think you may have had too much to drink at lunch. But—thinking— You should really think about using your full first name,’ she said with a bright, energetic smile.

‘Really? I don’t want to sound pretentious.’

‘No, it’s anything but that. It, especially to us, and given what you do and want to do, it sounds so authoritative. Regal, almost. Put that on a treatise or novel and it will command attention. Especially if you added a little Corinthian helmet icon or something. I love the short name, but we’re talking about grandeur now. My sweet Perry, Перри with the и. Spell it out with your “y” and people might think you’re a cider made from pears.’

‘Can’t have that,’ Perry said with a grin.

‘Buy me this hat,’ she said sweetly but instructively.

‘That’s a dead animal, you know?’

‘I know. Probably a mink. I like it and I want it, so you buy it. We have no crazy, blue-haired eco-nut girls here. I’m at the top of the hat chain.’

‘Poor, unwanted, little mink.’

‘I just said I want him. And, you know I hunt. Kill it, clean it, eat it. Now, wear it.’

‘I’m starting to think I want to marry you,’ Perry said.

‘Well, good boy! Also, think about using your real name,’ she said. ‘And how did your parents come up with it?’

He quickly paid the old babushka seated next to the mortar and assorted arms man. A quick inquiry was launched about holding the cannon, though it was cut short by her huffs and tugs on his arm. As they started to walk towards the exit and perhaps something to snack on for the short ride back to the city center, he explained:

‘At Dad’s old school, the archeology department had a little museum. Next to a mock-up of an Egyptian sarcophagus—I can still see the place—they had a replica bust of the general, helmet and all. The story goes that Mom and Dad were loitering around a few months before I made my first appearance. They talked about him, and me, and decided if he’s a boy. And so forth.’

‘That’s so nifty,’ she said. ‘And original. And again, it makes you sound like someone important, which of course, you are. Promise you’ll think it over.’

‘I will,’ he said. ‘Now, Julia, if I do, will you be my Aspasia?’

‘No promises, specifically on the nickname,’ Julia said. ‘A name of the muddy waters maybe. And I don’t mean the jazz man.’

‘Blues.’

‘Whatever.’

‘Julia,’ he said again, slowly wrapping his arms around her. ‘I just asked you if you’d be my Aspasia. You just said you love your Perry. He’s kind of got a thing for you too. Be my girl?’

In a fair turnabout, she kissed his nose. ‘He mentioned something about getting married too. Of course! I’ll be your beloved Aspasia — just don’t sully my reputation around like so many poets and philosophers.’

‘That I can avoid,’ he whispered into her ear.

‘Ironic, no?’ she asked.

‘What?’

‘She was a metic. Here and, for now, that’s you!’

‘I know, right?’ he said as they resumed their slow stroll. ‘And that means I must be careful with acquiring heavy weapons.’

‘I’m sure it’s a replica,’ she said. ‘Or properly deactivated.’

‘Can’t be too careful,’ he said; ‘this is Russia and all.’

‘Countries!’ she said, concurrently putting a little skip in her step. ‘Tell me about that strange idea that you’ve been whispering about on the friends and family flipper.’

‘You don’t want to rehash empire-approved IDF airstrikes on hospitals, churches, mosques, and refugees? Or the vicious demands of lunatic neoliberals named Haley and Graham?’ he asked, thinking for a split-second about the rank degeneracy of the dead country he’d left, finding a hollow embarrassment in his own words.

‘No. You and the others covered that in too great a detail the other day. No homos and harpies now.’ She slipped on her hat and tugged the flaps down tight over her ears. ‘Tell me, tell the poor mink about this rebel plan of yours.’

‘Very well, my sultry Aspasia,’ he said. At that, she rolled her eyes and lightly elbowed his ribs. But he continued: ‘It kind of started with that joint discussion the departments had about de Gaulle and his Free French government. Privately, we Americans kept up the talk and it sort of morphed into a crazy idea.’

‘Then it’s American,’ she added.

He gently returned the rib knock, followed by a mussing disarrangement of the departed mink, and kept going: ‘So, despite all that I have going on here, and despite all the problems back home, the barest suggestion was made. A vague, uncertain, and probably most untenable idea. Given that my people are utterly without representation in the GAE, and given that they’re oppressed, hated, and essentially leaderless internal exiles, and given that I’m here— Mention was made of a Confederate States government in exile. The accursed Yankees have never really abated their hostilities towards us, and we have no way of opposing them—at present—from the occupied heart of their evil empire of lies. It makes a degree of sense.’

‘And only a degree,’ she said. ‘Maybe a fraction of one degree. How, exactly, would that work?’

‘I have exactly no idea,’ he said with a chuckle. ‘I suppose I’d have to go through Foreign Affairs. I’m sure they would scoff at the idea with all the other headaches everywhere. Maybe once your father, the professor, and a few others with direct friendship allow me to become acquainted with the President, maybe then I’d have some sort of long-odds shot.’

‘I’m sure he would scoff at the idea too,’ Julia said.

‘I’m scoffing at the whole thing now,’ he rejoined with another chuckle. ‘The last thing I want to do is come across as needy or burdensome. Or insane. It’s really the furthest thing from what I’m here for and what I’m planning. Not sure how any of it would work, even if everyone granted us permission with open arms and hearts. The old true believers, the ones who still mentally live before 1860, would probably want to pick up precisely where our forefathers left off. That wouldn’t work. I’ve previously mentioned setting up a shadow government of sorts. Disbelief or disinterest might be the best description of the reaction to that. They suspect, probably correctly, that what the Nation of Islam is allowed to do, we would not find so easy. That brand of reluctance makes sense. Heck, they’re imprisoning our people for lighting torches at night and making memes on Twit-bird. So many issues. Too many for now. We have no means to renew hostilities on our part despite their never-ending attacks on us. And the old Constitution would need, in my mind’s eye, a major overhaul. A total purging of any and all Enlightenment baggage. Then, there are the vital issues of economics, territory, and the radically changed demographics of the old CSA. No one, myself included, has really thought through those. If we’ve even thought of them at all. If any of it ever happened, it might be safer to start from the serenity of the outside. But, again, I scoff. For now.’

‘Purge the fire out of the Enlightenment, the father of postmodern, so-called rules-based, Anglo-Zionist globalism,’ she said knowingly. ‘What are you thinking? About that overhaul? A Christian aristocratic monarchy?’

‘Do the tiny degree I am thinking, yes,’ he said. He then saw something just ahead and to the side of the walkway and gestured towards it. ‘Snack pancakes from a robot vending machine! I’ve been wanting to try those. Perfect for the ride home?’

She happily agreed, and they dialed up pancakes, which would end up being more like rolled crepes, filled with a sugary concoction of fruit and cream cheese. While they watched through a window as a buzzing tube coated and recoated batter on a heated tray, she thought of a pertinent question.

‘Will you, my Perry, be the first reigning monarch?’

‘Good grief! I had not thought about that! Not really my cup of tea.’

‘But you are here, the representative among the free,’ she said. ‘General de Gaulle was the leader of his resistance in just such circumstances. Your namesake too, kind of, in a different sort of way. And as you’ve noted, and I’ve independently observed, there is no true leadership far away and no real way for it to arise or take office or effect.’ She was wearing, if only for a moment, her very serious academic face, which delighted him even as the suggestion made him ponder their shared sanity.

‘Let’s just put this one to rest, for now,’ he said with a shrug. ‘Besides, I want to hear more about the special project revisiting the meaning of The Brothers Karamazov. That or plan out a space in the flat for my mortar!’

‘All of that,’ she said as she scooped two paper-rolled pastries from a little door. ‘Or the hilarity of KINO’s Мама анархия. Or better yet, how this flea market compares those in Dixie. Or best of all, the right wine for post-pancake revelry.’

With visions of renewed nations safely out of their minds, nibbling sweets while speaking to saccharify, soft and low, they made their way to the train station. A hallmark of their afternoon adventures, the fall sun began to set, settling them into a chilly evening. Inside a carriage, as it rolled south, having finished her pancake, she cuddled against him. Raising her face to his, and arching her eyebrows in revelation, she said, ‘You certainly have the name for your hypothetical station: Pericles in exile.’

High Praise

19 Thursday Oct 2023

Posted by perrinlovett in fiction, Other Columns

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Clyde Wilson, fiction, writing

Dr. Clyde Wilson left a comment at Reckonin‘ after my last short story (the one about war and donuts):

Perrin, the United State is now post-literate and post-Western. If we still had a culture you would be an important celebrated writer.

He is, as usual, correct – at least about the failure of American culture. To test out the celebrated writer thing, if only there was a culture where people still read…

UPDATE: In a follow-up comment, “Luigi,” who I suspect is really Lispy Graham, makes Dr. Wilson’s point, also confirming an observation by the young woman in the story:

 

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