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If I really cared, I might devise a 0-10 tracking scale for daily internet/technology failure. “0” would be the stone age; “10,” Star Trek. Today would be about a “2,” vaguely there but essentially unusable. If you’re successfully reading this, then we may have moved up to a “3.”

In related news, in the coming weeks or years, I will convert this blog into a subscription pigeon service whereby the birds deliver daily scribblings on small scrolls. Go ahead and line your window sill with newspaper.