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Murder: there’s an app for that! Another computer matchmaking success story from Indonesia!

The steps are really easy: Go on Tinder. Meet the girl of your dreams. Go see her. Get beaten and stabbed to death by her real-life boyfriend. Get cut into 11 pieces. Find your dismembered self in luggage, cleverly stashed away somewhere. Get a lecture from Saint Peter.

The digital age isn’t exactly what we were led to believe it would be.