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It’s great that Chicken Little (and presumably Dr. Burbs?) has found new hoax-related employment! I was thrilled, as I’m sure you’ll be, to read: “Coughing Dummies Help Boeing and United Track Viruses on Planes.”

To collect the data, researchers placed mannequins with human-like heads in various seats throughout seven models of Boeing and Airbus SE jets, then made them cough. Or rather, they simulated a human cough, and how aerosolized particles are expelled and disseminated through the air on the plane, McLoughlin said.

Oh, now, hang on… That’s not at all what I interpreted. How embarrassing for the research mannequins.