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Last year, the UMC voted to remain a nominally Christian denomination. So, this year, a mediator “helps” them draft a separation plan which calls for the Christians to leave?

Factions in the United Methodist Church (UMC) have reached an initial settlement around its intractable division over LGBT marriage and ordination—offering $25 million to a group of conservative congregations who want to break away and form a new denomination.

For both conservatives and progressives in the church, this compromise comes as an answer to prayer.

Various groups were slated to once again propose different plans for a split at the UMC’s general conference in May, but under the new agreement, they will abandon the proposals and put their full support behind the Protocol of Reconciliation & Grace Through Separation, which was announced Friday.

So, even when you win, you lose. Got that? All courtesy of Mr. Feinberg (trying not to use echoes… Every single… Etc). His resume reads like a criminal indictment. The 9/11 Fraud Fund and TARP. And now, this.

Happy Sunday, Methodists! All remaining Christians, your day is coming too.