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By “a cute Texas girl,” he really meant a literal girl (preferably under 18). Cosmo isn’t the real indicator though.

The Mail described Epstein as an enigmatic figure, rumored to be a concert pianist, a math teacher at an elite girls’ school, and connected to the CIA and Mossad, Israel’s intelligence agency. “The most intriguing rumor is that he was a corporate spy hired by big businesses to uncover money that had been embezzled,” the article stated.

In 1993, the Washington Times depicted Epstein as a “maverick investor and Clinton supporter” and “president of the Limited clothing-store empire.” (The New York Times, in a 1991 blurb, identified Epstein as “president of Wexner Investment Company.”)

Going where the prey is? Check.

Dual loyalties? Check.

Birds of a feather? Check.

Rope?