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I just pulled the trigger on Zuckerberg’s spy site and Lordy it feels good. If you’re still on history’s most invasive voluntary spying network, I hope you’re happy. And I hope you’re aware of how they track you. My advice would be to leave. Here’s how:

Over the past year or so I slowly drew down my presence, bit by bit, until all that remained was a sealed list of friends and admin abilities on two FP forums. I also used the “service” to like and promote TPC columns. No more.

Start with Logging In

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That the stock birthday listed on the startup page is after I graduated from high school says something.

Log In and Get Harrassed

This greeted me immediately as it has for the past few weeks. I’m toning it down and they want more info. and control. Eff You, Zuck!

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Really Bothersome:

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I saw this before I posted my final (to FB) PNW video.

A Final Consult with the “Secret” Info. File

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You really must review the files. Despite all my recent cleanups, I still had to do a final sweep before,

Proceeding to Delete:

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Here We Go!

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Begone, Evil!

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And, Done.

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Of course, of course, it will take 14 days – assuming they really delete it. I’ve heard they try to wrangle people back in. On Day 15 or 16 I will do a confirmation test.

I will surely miss all of my friends, real and digital, from FB. There’s no telling how long I’ll have to go without the following: cat videos; dinner pictures; friend requests from hookers, robots, creeps, and spies; raving mad political, social, and religious commentary; pointless low-IQ idiocy, and; the general angst that comes from being watched by a narcissistic evil genius who refers to his users as “dumb f**ks.”

Goodbye and good riddance!