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A CDC Study shows that only 23% of Americans exercise on a regular basis.

About a quarter of US adults meet guidelines for both aerobic and muscle-strengthening exercise in their spare time, according to new data from the CDC’s National Center for Health Statistics.

The US Department of Health and Human Services recommends that people between the ages of 18 and 64 engage in at least 150 minutes of moderate physical activity or 75 minutes of vigorous physical activity each week, as well as muscle-strengthening activities at least twice a week.

Subtracting 23% from the whole (apologies to Detroit Public “School” grads) leaves 77% not exercising. Oddly, this remainder is roughly the same as that percentage of Americans who are either overweight and/or obese and/or severely obese.

Friends, this ain’t gonna cut it. Not unless you’re in the mortuary business should this news be seen as anything but evidence of decadence and decline.

Some suggestions for those majority heavies wishing to shed flab and tone it up a notch (or ten):

Eating right and exercise are obvious – and easier than many would imagine. Perrin agrees with a government agency here!!! Just walk 2 1/2 hours per week – 30 minutes or 2 miles, Monday through Friday will do. That and cut the sugar and carbs. Got 30 minutes? I’ll bet you do. Find the time by:

Turning off the G-D television!

Consider NOT checking the Tweets, texts, and cat videos for half an hour. You’ll live.

Allowing your fantasy sports team half an hour to play on their own. They do that anyway.

Postpone that next cool and I’m-sure-yours-is-so-meaningful tattoo. Especially if it’s a facial tat…

While you walk, think about what you’ve read here, today, or over at TPC – new column coming ASAP.

Alternatively, consider doing your family a favor and make those final arrangements yourself as you see fit. Otherwise, you’ll burden them with decisions like whether to go all wood or steel or to simply dump your fat ass in the closet ditch.