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Did you make it? I assume that, if you’re reading this, you survived the horrid, Earth-shattering, 6-freaking-hour government shutdown.

I know, I know, my world was shaken too.

I found it hard to breath. The sun was a little off schedule this morning. Few birds chirped. I felt disconnected from the gentle, reassuring hand of omnipotent and benevolent governance.

Thank God government that is over!

It’s all Rand Paul’s fault:

“When the Democrats are in power, Republicans appear to be the conservative party. But when Republicans are in power, it seems there is no conservative party. The hypocrisy hangs in the air and chokes anyone with a sense of decency or intellectual honesty.”

-Rand Paul, Senate Floor, February 8, 2018.

The man is crazy, out of control. If only some kind neighbor would step in and sucker punch the doctor for the sake of the people. Another doctor maybe.

Anyway, life will now go on as God government intended. All praise and glory be to the government, from wince all freedom, happiness, prosperity, gravity, energy, and matter flows. I suggest you immediately fall to your knees and send up a prayer (type “Amen!”) to God government for the gifts and glory of government. Repent of your selfish, wicked ways. If not for the government, you wouldn’t even exist.

Next time we might not be so lucky. Next time life could be suspended for … what? … seven hours?! The thought crushes the very (government provided) soul and tortures the (government enriched) mind.

* I occurred to me, as I wrestled with the technology related to a forth-coming video this morning, that I might make another on this subject: something about the Gospel of Government Prosperity. Eh? It could be like an inspirational sermon/documentary wherever the state is worshipped. For the other 3%, it could be a standup routine.

Government+Shutdown15

NBC15, Madison, WI.

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