Smokey and the Miracles were Smokin’ back in 1978.  John Boehner smokes whenever he can and certainly while tanning.  Soon he will be able to devote himself full-time to his hobbies.

Last week the House Speaker, the worst since Nancy Pelosi, announced he would retire from the Speaker-ship and from Congress at the end of October. Through his usual crocodile tears the Ohio Republican reminisced, “I never thought I’d be in Congress, let alone be speaker.”  It really would have been better if he had not.  The country will never be the same.

Getting in one last shot at his own sordid party Boehner warned: “The Bible says beware of false prophets. And there are people out there spreading noise about how much can get done [to hurt the people].  I heard Jesus is willing to forgive this false prophet’s warning of false prophets since he is as thrilled as any about the resignation.

Boehner’s long list of accomplishment’s include:

• Piling on Trillions of dollars of debt for the people to deal with (soon);
• Securing the world for banks, insurance companies and other large transnational outfits;
• Making sure Planned Parenthood gets your financial help to murder babies;
• Keeping the Obamacare tax and related headaches alive and well;
• Big government, uber alles;
• Keeping the sheeple focused on the Republicrat charade, fiddling while the Republic burned;
• Trading away your job;
• Marching America towards an impoverished third world status;
• War, war, forever more.

Thank God in Heaven this reign of mediocre terror is coming to a swift end. Sadly, we know another speaker will rise from the sewers of D.C. to take the place of the crying tan man.  News is the GOP is currently consulting the Oracle of Baphomet for replacement ideas.  Given his knack for circumventing the Congress at most turns, I nominate Boehner’s bestie, Barack Obama.

Boehner tearfully regrets he could not do more to screw up the nation. Google Images.

Really, and in all seriousness and optimistic sentiment, this could be a fantastic start to a beautiful new era.  If only the other 534 clowns would follow suit – tears or no.  Good riddance.