Some, mostly of the ivory-tower dwelling variety, still suffer the delusion that America is a “democracy,” a free land governed by the will of the people.  I am ever happy for the elation of this crowd; ignorance is bliss.  In truth we live amidst a somewhat darker time and landscape.  The government is a ridiculous mixture of ochlocracy (mob rule) and oligarchy. The ruling elite keeps the mob happy with spectacles, martial, material and illusory, and the mob dutifully empowers the elite – Cozy if schizophrenic.

Our economy (what remains of it, anyway) is more akin to something from the dreams of Mussolini than those of Adam Smith.  Regardless, beer is cheap and the television is loaded with “entertainment.”  Everyone wins, right?

Our institutions of political and economic leadership form a home, of sorts, for the criminally insane. Lacking any useful skills, without their positions of power, these people would be otherwise confined to normal mental institutions – whiling away the hours weaving baskets and so forth.  As is, they subsist by playing Menckenish tricks on the people. They perpetually create one problem after another.  Each problem is designed to have a ready solution which, in turn, leads to yet another problem.  Keep your eyes on the Kardashians, please.

Back in February of this year I penned a short series on the potential dangers posed by the modern computerization of automobiles.  See: Tracking and Hacking; Drivin’ N Spyin’.  U.S. Senator Ed Markey released a report spotlighting the complete failure of auto makers to protect the public from malicious hacking of their computers on wheels, formerly known as cars.  At last, the industry has answered the call!

All companies, from Ford to Honda to Caterpillar, have announced the need for a change in the law.  Specifically, they want to amend the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA) of 1998, Pub. L. No. 105-304, 112 Stat. 2860 (Oct. 28, 1998) to protect their proprietary software from your incessant meddling.  Yes, you, the shade-tree mechanics of America, are the real problem here.

In a way, this is only fair.  New cars, all of them, are totally controlled by sophisticated computer programs.  Those programs were developed by the car makers at considerable cost.  When you endeavor to work on “your” own car you will inevitably run into programming issues.  Most shy away from this spectacle of technology.  However, some intrepidly dive in and use their own skill to navigate the oil stained field of ones and zeroes which make the new cars work.  In doing so they may, intentionally or unwittingly, alter the original programming.  This equates to software piracy, you see.

Never mind that you paid for the car, computers and all.  It’s not really your property – not all of it.  Back in the 90’s the lobbyist for the industries of America wrote and paid for the DMCA.  It’s their law, designed to protect their money, and they can change it as needed.  You get back to that baseball game – nothing to see here.

“Your” representatives will be bribe … er … convinced to alter the law.  In the future only dealership mechanics and licensed big chain techs will be authorized to work on cars.  This will save you the trouble of reading code and allow the manufacturers to reap additional profits.  Go under the hood yourself and you will likely lose the car and land yourself in prison.  As it should be.

(“Protect the CPU at all cost!”  Google.)

The terrorist with a laptop, of whom Markey and I warned you, will no more obey the new DMCA than he will the old laws against kidnapping, murder, and extortion.  No mind; eventually this too will be cured.  A new dawn of self-driving, un-hackable, super “safe” but un-Godly expensive cars is just over the horizon.

This dawning will surely usher in new problems.  Rest assured our wise and benevolent betters will have solutions for these too.  In the meanwhile get ready for the coming Avengers movie!