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A friend is taking his wife to the best beach in America, one I know very well, and they wanted to know some groovy places to visit. Among my recommendations is a honky-tonk, which I describe as a tropical biker bar. It’s a can’t miss kind of place. Previously I’ve left several dollars there. Some of them – more than one – were taken from me, signed by the womenfolk, and stapled to the wall. It’s a popular way to dispose of money; you have surely heard or seen something like it.

Happy tourists, mainly women, leave the bills behind, thinking it’s their permanent contribution to house decor. Then, along comes The Hoax. Those dollars are now in high demand – and not as decorations.

“The lockdown hit us like a tornado,” recalled Newman, 57, who owns the business with her husband. “I felt hopeless and lost, wondering how on earth we could pay the bills and keep staff on the payroll.”

“But here’s the good part of my story,” she added, leaning forward and placing her hands flat on the bar. “I remembered the thousands of one-dollar bills that customers have stapled to the walls over the decades.”

“I asked a few employees and girlfriends to help take them down,” she said with a smile. “It took two full days to finish the job.”

“Split five ways, we each got about $500,” she said. “That includes a woman who had lost two jobs because of the pandemic; a woman with a mother in hospice care, and a mother of three small children going through a divorce. There was also a single dad who needed the cash.”

“Now,” she added, “our goal is to hang on to the place through summer.”

Ladies, you helped fight the “pandemic.” All: How’s that V-shaped thing coming along?

PS: No, the article’s bar isn’t “my” honky-tonk.

PPS: Yes, the title is Statler-esque.

OT PS: Coulter is not wrong with her honest tirade this weekend except that she did it on Trump’s retarded media of choice, Twitbird.