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If I may divert, for just a second, your attention from Bloody-Eye Joe and the Storm of the that lasts a Century, HHS and DARPA are expecting a child!!!!

The proposal is part of a larger initiative to establish a new agency called the Health Advanced Research Projects Agency or HARPA, which would sit inside the Health and Human Services Department. Its director would be appointed by the president, and the agency would have a separate budget, according to three people with knowledge of conversations around the plan.

HARPA would be modeled on DARPA, the highly successful Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency that serves as the research arm of the Pentagon and collaborates with other federal agencies, the private sector and academia.

Trump has reacted “very positively” to the HARPA proposal, according to a person with knowledge of the discussions and has been “sold on the concept.” But it’s unclear whether the president has reviewed the new “Safe Home” component of the proposal and creating an entire agency would be a huge lift in Congress.

Break out the fucking cigars*! Cause big gubmint bout to have a baby! What (else) could possibly go wrong?

There just literally is NO making this shit up. Seriously, my nascent fiction doesn’t even count. Tolkien, Lewis, Herbert, and Homer would have trouble competing with our new reality.

Oh well, here’s wishing little baby HARPA a safe home. I, for one, welcome our new overlords…

*Unless, of course, cigars count as “aberrant.” If so, I meant bubble gum “cigars.” My head…