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Millennials are doing their part to ensure a saaaaaafe existence in the failing police state.

The neon green fanny pack strapped around Annabel Hess’ skinny jeans carried all the essentials for a music festival: credit card, driver’s license, phone, Chapstick.

And her passport.

The 25-year-old concert-goer wasn’t headed out of the country after Miranda Lambert closed the first night of the annual Country LakeShake festival. She brought it to sign up for TSA PreCheck, the government’s expedited airport security program.

Hess, a regular traveler, had been meaning to sign up so she no longer has to beg other passengers to cut the security line when she’s running late for her flight. Her roommate has had PreCheck since college and saw the festival’s pitch about enrolling on-site and getting a fast pass through festival security as a bonus.

“This was an easy opportunity,” Hess said. “So here I am.”

She signed up inside the green and purple Identogo RV outside the festival gates in about 10 minutes and headed for the fast-pass line to get into the festival.

Nevermind that this is, has always has been, about showing identification during internal travels. Tabs, they keep them. The fascists have long talked about spreading the misery of TSA-isms to concerts, sporting events, bus stations, highway travel, and elsewhere. It’s good that shit stupid mushheads are cheering them on with enthusiasm. That’s the spirit of Lexington and Concord.

All of this, you may keep.