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I blame the National Exotic Battery Association (NEBA), which I had to found in order to have someone to blame. Someone other than Mark Anthony Conditt, that is, for the Austin exotic battery/box bombings. At worst Conditt was merely a conduit for the extremely powerful, wealthy, and politically well connected NEBA. It’s time for them to hear all of our voices. The exotic battery reign of terror must end. #batterycontrol.

“Exotic” batteries ordered online helped lead authorities to the Austin, Texas, bombing suspect before he died early Wednesday as police closed in, multiple senior law enforcement officials told NBC News.

Austin police and federal agents had been working around the clock with 350 agents to track down the bombing suspect.

A criminal complaint filed before the suspect died identified him as Mark Anthony Conditt, 23. (Police had said earlier that Conditt was 24.) Newly unsealed court records said Conditt would have been charged with receiving, possessing and transferring a destructive device.

Law enforcement remained at the scene around his home on Wednesday afternoon.

The unusual batteries were the signature trait that allowed investigators to so quickly link the various explosives to Conditt, sources said. One senior law enforcement official said the batteries came from Asia.

Mr. Trump, for the love of God, institute a tariff on these Asian instruments of mass voltage. Then ban them.

I call on YouTube to immediately adjust its policies so as to delete and censor all mention, demonstration, sale, usage, or other facilitation of exotic batteries. Failure to do so within 30 minutes will constitute obvious racism.

Young Hogg could be going over his script right now.

CNN could classify these events as school shootings.

Let’s see…

Only the police and military need such powerful batteries. You can get by with a discount, off brand AAA from the dollar store – and only one per person per year – assuming you can pay the new taxes and pass the stringent background check – after the waiting period – etc.

Batteries are anti LGGGBTTTQIIAAAXXRTYCOTPPSSUIDDDQQQMMLX. (They added a few more).

Hunters do not need batteries.

6,000 times more children are killed by exotic batteries than by assault rifles – and that’s a lot!

Criminals are more likely to use your battery against you than the other way around.

The Second Amendment does not protect anyone’s right to batteries.

No one needs such high capacity, positive terminal batteries of mass direct current. They don’t even alternate.

Note that Mark used the exotic battery online “loophole.” Close it.

Hitler used batteries.

Canada banned exotic batteries in 1978.

Even Republicans will agree that batteries ruffle bow ties.

America is the exotic battery murder capital of the world.

Young Hogg … oh, already mentioned him.

Batteries are scary.

Batteries can be linked together to form something known as a “bank.” I suppose that’s short for “bump bank.” Ban them now!

The kids are planning to walk out or lay down or something.


It takes a Hazmat crew to safely handle exotic batteries. CNBC/AP.

Where is the hysterical, idiotic reaction from the usual suspects, those virtuous proponents of communism and associated gun control? The silence is deafening.