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Later next year. Maybe 2020. Some future announcements from the ever-so socially conscious retailer:

70% Off All (non assault rifle) Merchandise!

Everything Must Go! Including Fixtures!

All Stores Closing!

Good luck to our former employees!

Apologies to our Shareholders!

“This major economic divestment has nothing to do with our February 2018 decision to slap a large segment of our customers in the face and stop selling some of the most popular items on the market.”

Dick’s Sporting Goods, a major U.S. retailer, will immediately halt sales of assault-style rifles and high-capacity magazines at all of its stores and ban the sale of all guns to anyone under 21.

The announcement Wednesday comes as students at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, return to class for the first time since a troubled teenager killed 17 students and educators with an AR-15 two weeks ago.

“When we saw what the kids were going through and the grief of the parents and the kids who were killed in Parkland, we felt we needed to do something,” Chairman and CEO Ed Stack said on “Good Morning America.”

A strange corporate move at a time when things like school shootings are at a near all-time low.

Rumors that Dick’s will immediately institute a 10% discount for card-carrying members of NAMBLA and the Communist party USA are of yet unsubstantiated.