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I love these kind of stats. Guns.com ran a story about the safest and least safe states in America. They broke it down into various categories. The one that caught my jaded eye was “Fewest/Most Fatalities per 100 Million Vehicle Miles of Travel.”

The “safest” driving state: Massachusetts. This actually did not surprise me, having spent tremendous amounts of time in Mass and having driven most of their roads at different times and seasons and under different conditions. They drive a little crazy and there is a ton of traffic (round Baaahssten) but they know how to do it. They drive more proactively than most Americans. Minga!

The worst, most dangerous and deadly state is, of course: South Carolina. Two reasons for this: First, the squalid little third world excuse for a state has no money for road construction or maintenance; much of I-26 and I-20 are gravel or dirt and lack overpasses or signage (not that the locals can read). Second, the people of First Secession simply do not know how to drive! It’s a wonder they don’t all get killed every year… Imagine a drunken and retarded monkey trying to drive a car while simultaneously eating a Big Mac, texting, and sleep babbling something about NASCAR. Now imagine an entire state of them. Welcome to SC. I hereby revoke all SC driver’s licences! Oh, wait. They don’t have those…



Check out the other categories! There are some anomalies. For instance, Maine has the fewest assaults per capita. This is easily explained by the fact that an assault must, by definition, involve at least two people. See – they only have two or three residents there and they’re not in the same places. Oddly enough Alaska has the highest number of assaults. Same equation but with a polar opposite conclusion. At least SC dodged that one. Come to think of it, that might call the reliability of the whole thing into question…